Life Tip #35

Life Tip #35

struggling to unscramble all your problems and get yourself sorted out? well fear no more, because it’s the 21st century and there are multiple websites where you can enter in your problems and it’ll rearrange them for you! ex. procrastinate becomes aristocrate so all i have to do to solve that problem is find a rich person who really likes boxes. i’m a fucking genius :))

Life Tip #25

stay on top of your work by constantly sitting on it. allow your papers to grovel in fear underneath you. show them who is their overlord.

Life Tip #44

want halloween to stay all year long? decorate your house by dumping buckets of orange and black glitter on it bc that stuff isn’t coming off :’) ever

Life Tip #31

does your teacher want you to turn in notecards on top of everything else you have to do? get back at them by fucking bLINDING THEM WITH THE BRIGHTEST NEON SHIT YOU GOT! YOU WANNA SEE MY DEFINITION OF AGRIBUSINESS? IT’S ON A TRAFFIC CONE, HOPE YOU ENJOY HELL

Life Tip #38

always buy a bunch of stress relief products and spend at least four hours in the bath tub relaxing!! if you aren’t stressed, you don’t have problems!~

Life Tip #36

don’t waste your time trying to create weird concoctions to get old stains out of your carpet when you can just replace the entire floor! seriously, why would you bother spending $5 on dish soap and water when you can spend $5000 to get rid of it? brilliant. fucking brilliant.