15. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

15. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Hey y'all, I'm back! I took a break that lasted longer than expected and it's finally time for me get back to it. This is Ewan's first movie of 1999.

Genre: Family/Sci-fi

Rating: PG

Director: George Lucas

Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Ahmed Best, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd

Movie Synopsis: "The Phantom Menace" is about two Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who are sent on a simple diplomatic mission to help a planet in crisis. What they discover is a much larger conspiracy and that their enemy, The Sith, have finally resurfaced after 1,000 years. Aid for the Jedi comes from an unlikely ally, Anakin Skywalker, who is an enslaved child and believed by Qui-Gon to be the Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force.

Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the character Obi-Wan Kenobi who is an Apprentice aka Padawan to his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan is near the end of his Apprenticeship and is a very calm, focused, and prepared Jedi learner. While his Master believes little Anakin is the Chosen One and will do anything, even go against their Council's orders, to train the boy, Obi-Wan is not convinced. During their mission, Obi-Wan must use all of his training to confront the Sith and help bring peace to the planet. Ewan speaks in what sounds like a British accent for this role. He doesn't have any love interests, kissing, or nude scenes. His role isn't very prominent so he doesn't do much. He goes swimming with his clothes on if that is important to you and he has a fight scene at the end of the movie which is spectacular. His acting is fine for the little he's given to do.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 23/136 minutes making his SP 17%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Sigh...no. Wait! Before you crucify me, just please take off your nostalgia glasses for a second! This movie and version of Obi-Wan is as dear to my heart as it is to many fans. However, my absolute love for this character doesn't change the fact that the man is barely in the movie. When he is, it's very brief scenes where he tends to be standing quietly in the background. He also has minimal lines. Even Ewan himself has joked about how he was basically hired to just stand behind Liam Neeson. The bulk of his screentime happens in the last TEN minutes of the movie. Ewan being in this film is a plus, not the reason you should watch. So, I'm obliged to say that this isn't the Ewan content you're looking for (pun intended). Now, is the movie worth watching in general? Absolutely! It's such a fun time, the world building is incredible and don't get me started on the film score! Plus, the lightsaber duel at the end is one of the best fight sequences in the entire Star Wars series.

Where to Watch: You can watch The Phantom Menace if you are subscribed to Disney+. The movie is available for rent on Amazon Prime Video, Google Play Movies & TV, or Fandango at Home. You can also pirate it on soap2day.

18. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Nora (2000)

(the pictures used are from Frock Flicks on Pinterest)

We made it to the new millennium! Time to say goodbye to our 90's lad and say hello to Ewan's 2000's era!

Genre: Drama

Rating: R

Director: Pat Murphy

Starring: Susan Lynch, Ewan McGregor

Synopsis: "Nora" is based on the real life of Nora Barnacle, who was the life partner of the prolific Irish writer, James Joyce. Her story begins as a bright-eyed young woman eager to leave her town. After falling in love with a talented writer, and accomplishing her dream to move out of Dublin, she starts to realize that the life she envisioned for herself is nothing like the reality she finds herself in.

Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character James Joyce. Although the movie is called "Nora" it could have easily been called "James", as the film seems to focus more on him than his counterpart. James is an aspiring Irish writer and a very talented one at that. The only problem is that he struggles to find a publisher for his work which makes him feel insecure in his craft. He is arrogant, self-centered, heavily swayed by the opinions of his friends, and prone to fits of jealousy. He loves Nora and is utterly reliant on her love and support though he can be too proud to admit it. Ewan speaks in an Irish accent for the role, which I don't think is great, but he does act opposite of a native Irish actress so the difference is more noticeable. He has facial hair which changes over time and I didn't like at all. He speaks a little Italian, plays guitar, and sings five times. This movie is smut city! He has a love interest and when they aren't fighting they're fucking. Within ten minutes of the movie, Ewan is whimpering like a puppy while getting jacked off in an alley. He has several kiss scenes and sex scenes, one of which is nude doggy style. He has a shirtless scene, fingering scene, and a masturbation scene. He also exhibits some cuckolding desires which I found intriguing. The creme de la creme in my opinion is the dirty talking sequence. James and Nora write erotic letters to each other which the actors read out loud. One more thing that I must mention is something I've yet to see repeated in a Ewan movie. In one particular sex scene, Ewan strokes Susan Lynch's leg, creeping up her dress, and you see her twitch. Like, the involuntary twitch your body does when someone touches you just right...I'm just gonna leave that right there. Overall, Ewan gives a good performance.

Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 60/107 minutes making his SP 56%.

To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes! Is it worth watching in general? Y'all are gonna think I'm crazy for this, but no. Maybe if you're a fan of James Joyce, which is the intended audience anyway, then you'll find it enjoyable. The movie itself is pretty boring. While Susan Lynch was the best actor in this film and did incredible, I wouldn't watch this except for Ewan and even that was a struggle when smut wasn't happening. If you're choosing movies to watch based on the Ewan factor then this is an understandable skip. It's extremely unfortunate that even pathetic, jealous, sex couldn't save this for me.

Where to Watch: "Nora" is available for rent on YouTube. You can stream it for free on the following platforms: Tubi, Pluto TV, Sling TV, Fandango at Home, Freevee, Amazon Prime Video, and Redbox.

Vent (TW for mentions of self harm and binge eating)

Work was bad today. Really really bad. Physically painful bad. I feel so invisible and worthless. Not just by management. Of they don't care about any of us. But by my coworkers too. I know I'm different. I know I'm not like them. I feel like I'm their punching bag because I'm different. Then today my parents showed up at my job demanding to see me. I'm no contact with my parents. It was a hard decision to come to and they act like they don't know what "no contact" means. I was angry and scared. What if they forced their way into where I was? What if they caused a scene? I couldn't stop myself from shaking. Thankfully they left after being told twice. It made me worry that they would just wait for me at my house. At any time they could just show up as if I owe them my time. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I don't want to deal with this! I want to hurt myself. Instead I bought a bunch of food to binge. Neither option is good...I feel so out of control. I hate my life and I hate myself. I just want to escape somewhere I can be totally safe and happy. I knew that once I got home I was going to drown myself in Ewan McGregor content. It's the only thing right now that I can count on to be there for me. To fill me with happiness. I'm thankful for my mutuals on here and artists, writers, gif makers, and everything in between too. You're creativity and kindness provide the means for my escape from reality. I don't know how to end this. That's all.

Good Luck, Babe! by Chappell Roan x Velvet Goldmine (1998)

— an edit by me 🫶🏾 hope you enjoy!

I recently rewatched Attack of the Clones with my girlfriend and she brought up something that I hadn’t thought much about in regards to Anakin and Padme meeting again.

Palpatine set up that reunion. But why?

Elaboration:

1. He knows that if they were in a relationship it would give him additional leverage and possible blackmail against both Anakin and Padme.

2. Anakin being rejected would give Palpatine a new in for further emotional manipulation

3. He expects that Padme won’t treat Anakin like a capable adult (and in a few moments she doesn’t) and he knows this will both irritate Anakin and reinforce the idea that he has been pushing that Anakin is not being recognized for his capabilities

4. He knows there is tension between Anakin and Obi-Wan and expects Anakin’s blatant crush to exacerbate that tension

5. He has every intention for Padme to be successfully assassinated and if it happens on Anakin’s watch he expects it will undermine Anakin’s capabilities in the eyes of Obi-Wan and the order while leaving Anakin struggling with guilt over his failure

6. He knows he cannot accurately predict exactly what will happen but he’s confident he can spin whatever happens to his advantage

This is my first poll! Something new I want to start doing before posting the EMSP.