Son Visage

Son visage

Défi 30 jours pour écrire, sujet : Étudier/le jour où j’ai oublié

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J’ai étudié son visage, cent fois, mille fois, j’en ai appris les contours par cœur, les couleurs et les reliefs. J’ai révisé mon savoir, du bout des doigts, du bout des lèvres, j’ai vérifié que tout ce que je savais là était bien là. J’ai su, vraiment, j’ai su à quoi il ressemblait, je l’ai su aussi parfaitement que je savais le timbre de sa voix, la caresse de ses doigts, les notes de son rire et les manies de sa nervosité. Je le connaissais mieux que moi-même. L’explorer n’a jamais cessé d’être passionnant.

Mais un jour il est sorti de ma vie.

J’ai refusé de me souvenir. C’était indispensable pour survivre.

J’ai refusé longtemps.

Et ce matin. Une musique qui passait à la radio m’a fait penser à lui – ça fait si longtemps que ça ne me fait plus mal, si longtemps que je n’ai même pas pensé à lui – et j’ai senti quelque chose en moi se briser. Je n’arrive plus à me rappeler de son visage. Je me souviens de l’avoir mis dans mes mains pour l’embrasser à pleine bouche, mais ce qu’il était, ses contours, ses couleurs et ses reliefs, il ne m’en reste qu’une tache floue, anonyme, inconnue.

Aujourd’hui est le jour où j’ai oublié mon premier amour, et je regrette si fort.

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so hard to find a decent exorcist these days :/

Tagged by @sous-le-saule, thank you ! I'm trying to answer in English this time

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know better.

Three ships: Jakub/Cheshire in Bang!Bang!Boom! (it’s canon and I love them), Geralt/Jaskier in the netflix’s show the Witcher, Sam Gamegie/Frodo in LOTR (and the end killing me)

Last song: Hit the zombies by Magoyond (I had it in my head all day)

Last movie: Spiderman (2002) (nearly 20 years. Its weird)

Currently reading: “Déraillé” (in English Raising Steam) by Terry Pratchett, because I re-read all Discworld, take me 2 years but I’m close to the end. I like this book and the gobelins, but it isn’t my favorite of this series.

Currently watching: Fate Zero, because my husband insist. Yes, it’s an anime interesting, with philosphy and good characters, but... I want to see half of the characters dead, I want to save the other half and hug them, and the writers want the exact opposite so I know I'm going to cry hard at the end.

Currently consuming: infusion with apple, cinnamone and almond. Yeah like a cake, but liquid.

Currently craving: sleep. I could go to sleep by the way. But I don’t want to sleep. Its complicated.

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Like. The quote “I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend” is such an integral quote/concept to LOTR that I just cannot for the life of me comprehend how people come away from LOTR inspired to write the grimdark i-love-war-and-suffering stories that populate fantasy

THINGS WHICH MAKE WRITERS ANXIOUS:

not writing

writing

people reading their stories

people not reading their stories