The Sheriff Was Like "do You Think I'm Stupid?"

The sheriff was like "do you think I'm stupid?"

Five: I don't have any favorites from my siblings.

Klaus: our house was attacked.

Five: is Vanya all right?

The Wayne kids aren’t mafia, but individually they’re scary enough for people to assume they are. Everyone knows Brucie Wayne is the biggest himbo ever and his kids are running everything from the shadows. It’s like…a given. Seriously have you seen his kids? Tim’s even the CEO at 18.

Dick is beloved. Everywhere he goes kids practically flock to him, but people have seen him slam one too many possible child predators into a wall with the most threatening smile for them to think he’s all sunshine and rainbows.

One time, a mother asked for his help because his daughter was missing and the police wouldn’t help. Dick made one call (to Tim or Oracle), and the child was back by the end of the day and an entire trafficking ring was taken down. When asked he simply smiled and denied any involvement but said he was over joyed that one more trafficking ring was out of their city.

Jason Todd is Crime Alley’s hero. More so than anyone else, he has directed funds to help the area he called home before being taken in by Wayne. He died, but no one actually believes that. The Wayne children’s “mafia” had him doing something under cover. And while dick is all threat with a smile, Jason is Threaten with a frown. He can send people running with just a look.

someone noticed that Jason is always strapped. Man has no less than 5 weapons and one is always a gun. He doesn’t hide it, kids always ask him question and Jason always stops to answer them if he has the time. Even shows kids a few moves if they need to defend themselves. For whatever reason people don’t connect hood to Jason, but they definitely think Jason is funding hood.

Tim is the most relatable. Certified genius and always down to help kids with homework. Sometimes he’ll camp out in a cafe for the day. Without fail his location gets leaked and by mid afternoon he’s put away his WE work to tutor any students who have walked in.

He’s always tired, always has coffee, and always gives people a smile, but he knows too much. Rumor is that nothing happens in this town without Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne knowing. One time he was taking a break at the park, scrolling through his phone when a group approached him clearly intent on kidnapping him. Before they even got close Tim was reciting their social security number, their cell phones, the names of their loved ones, and their address.

When Tim looked up it was with a tired smirk that clearly came across as a warning. He then stood, slipped a business card onto the bench, and told them if they need work to call this number and their reps will help them find something regardless of their past record.

Rumor has it the downfall of the most recent corrupt socialite was completely orchestrated by Tim.

Damian is a little gremlin that has the family wrapped around his finger. At first their were rumors of infighting between the two youngest (Tim and Damian), but then how could that be possible when at the first sign of trouble Timothy materializes out of the shadows wearing his mother’s smile that promised social and financial ruin if you so much as looked at his baby brother wrong.

Dick flat out punched a man in the face for calling Damian a terrorist. The “victim” was high society and swore up and down that their would be a law suit, but Tim took care of it with a few photos and screen shots of an affair that would have ruined the man in question.

Damian has scary dog privilege on his own, but it’s a whole new ballpark when Jason is out with him. Apparently someone tried to kidnap Damian on the way to meet up with Jason and the bats didn’t even need to be called. Jason took care of it before they even got the kid in the van.

Damian is a violent little thing. Everyone knows, even if it was never announced, that he got it from where ever he had been living before, so they always gave him a little leeway, especially since his violent tendencies were decreasing…at least physically. Damian can, will, and regularly verbally eviscerates anyone who wrongs him. It’s impressive as it is scary. This kid looks at you like he can read every insecurity you’ve ever had and is not afraid to air it to the world while also insulting you into the grave.

Individually they’re terrifying, but the reason that they’re still Gotham’s golden family is because together the goofiest fucking people you have ever seen in your life (also the endless amount of charity work they do together as a family). When all four siblings are together they always end up trending and it’s always the funniest shit you’ve ever seen.

During the first major snow when all of the streets were shut down the Wayne Boys were out in all terrain jeeps shredding it up dragging someone behind them on ski’s or a snowboard

Somehow, all four boys were spotted trekking across town covered in a rainbow of colored powder. When someone enquired they admitted to getting into a rather harmless prank war with the currently reformed Ivy and Harleen Quiznel. If asked they totally won, but the fact that no part of any of the boys was uncovered said otherwise.

Dick once asked social media to help him track down Tim because he hadn’t slept in 3 days and was not supposed to leave the house. He’d been spotted at a cafe he doesn’t usually frequent and anyone around to witness the retrieval would later say it was the cleanest covert op they’d ever witnessed from the Wayne boys. Jason was the get away driver, dick was on retrieval duty, and Damian was there to make sure their route in and out was clear (hold open the door). Tim was recorded yelling every creative non curse (because no cursing in front of Damian, Alfred said so) under the sky, struggling in the arms of Dick Grayson who was smiling bright enough to rival the sun. 3 minutes in and out. The video screen shots are still used as a meme template to this day.

Brucie Wayne gets asked about his boys in interviews a lot. There are a lot of times where he’s only finding out about their shenanigans due to the interview question, but he just smiles and says he’s happy they’re all getting along while mentally planning out how to deal with them later.

Stiles even tried to disguise It, but It didn't work.

Dick: Why am I tied up?

Jason: It’s a drastic measure.

Dick: For what?

Tim: Something happened. And we can’t have you doing something you’ll regret.

Dick: What happened? You guys are freaking me out!

Tim: Damian-

Dick, breaking the wooden chair with brute strength: WHAT HAPPENED TO DAMIAN?!

Jason: Jesus Christ!