Incorrect Teen Wolf Quotes - Tumblr Posts

A few Sarah x Derek canons cuz I wanted to do this.

Sarah: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Derek: You mean literally or figuratively?

Sarah: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Sarah: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Derek: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Sarah: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Sarah: How do I deal with my enemies?

Derek: Kill them

Sarah: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Derek: Kill them only a little?

Sarah, pointing: May I sit there?

Derek: That's my lap

Sarah: That doesn't answer my question, Derek.

Sarah: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Derek: Thank you

Sarah: I didn't say that was a good thing

Derek: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.

The Piece That Doesn't Fit

Derek Hale x Sarah McCall

Timeline: After the last episode of Teen Wolf: Season 2

Derek's POV-

Sarah sleeps in my arms peacefully. Idly stroking her arm, I look at the ceiling and then back at her head, which is lying on my chest. I wonder what she thinks when she looks at me. I wonder why she trusts me. I kiss her head, whatever the reason is, I'm grateful that she does.

Gerard is dying, quite fast compared to cancer, according to what Chris said. He deserves it. I'm not big on forgiveness, and I haven't forgiven Allison either, but that's a story for another day. Everything else in the world can wait, I just want to be here with Sarah.

I have no one in my pack now, I realise. It's only Isaac, but he's more loyal to Scott. And I don't want to fight with Scott again, not after I've seen what it does to Sarah. Being torn between her brother and her boyfriend isn't the best place to be, and she used to be so frustrated and angry at everything.

Words flash into my mind for the hundredth time after the fight, words belonging to Gerard Argent. I'd rather never think of the bastard, but what he said feels like it's true.

"Scott, don't. You know that he's gonna kill me right after. He'll be an Alpha." I plead. Scott doesn't listen. He walks towards me determinedly, and Sarah yells, "Scott stop!" She tries to run towards us but the kanima throws Allison to the ground and grabs Sarah's throat instead.

My own death doesn't scare me more than that monster's hand around Sarah's throat. She isn't giving up, though. My brave, strong woman. My heavenly fire, she isn't giving up even in the face of imminent death.

"That's true... But I think he already knows that, don't you, Scott?" Gerard says, smirking. "He knows that the ultimate prize is Allison. Do this small task for me, and they can be together."

Sarah looks at her brother with disbelief, her eyes slowly flood with tears. "Scott...don't." She chokes. But her brother doesn't stop. He walks towards me, and I've never imagined a day where I'm afraid of Scott. But today is that day.

"Scott if anything happens to Derek, I'll never forgive you!" Sarah shouts, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

I try to reach for her, but can't. Listening to my name from her mouth feels like a declaration of love, and the fact that she's willing to go against her own brother for me makes me feel more loved than I have ever been. But it also makes me feel shameful. She's going against her brother for me.

Scott gives her a pleading look before sinking his claws in my neck. I groan in pain as he hauls me up.

"How very touching," Gerard says, looking at Sarah with malice. "You are the only piece that doesn't fit, Derek. And, in case you haven't learned yet, there is just no competing with young love." He spits at me.

Scott forces me to bite Gerard's arm and drops me to the cold ground. But I never hit it because two soft yet strong arms wrap around me, cushioning my fall. I collapse in Sarah's arms, resting my head on her shoulder. Sarah holds me tightly and whispers, "Don't worry. I'm here for you."

She is. I wrap both arms around her, inhaling her scent. She is here for me. She shouldn't be. What have I ever done to deserve her?

That's the same thought in my head as I reel out of the memory and look at her again. She stirs as if woken by the gravity of thoughts. Holding me tighter, she doesn't have to even look at me before saying, "Can't sleep?"

I pretend to be asleep, but she says, "Don't pretend. I may not be a werewolf but I can detect when you're not asleep."

"Fine," I grumble, turning to my side so that I'm spooning her now. "I can't sleep. Happy?" I kiss her shoulder and inhale her scent of vanilla and jasmine.

"Of course, I'm not 'happy'." She says, turning around to look at me. "Tell me why you're awake. You're supposed to be asleep."

"I know." I sigh, "I was watching you sleep."

"Right. And that's not creepy at all."

I laugh. "You look beautiful when you sleep. Your mouth's slightly open, and you hold me close to yourself. Of course, I'd love to see that."

Sarah blushes. Even after we've been together for months, she still blushes every time I say something romantic to her. She pulls a straight face again, and says, "Hey! You can't distract me by being romantic. Tell me, what's keeping you awake?"

"Nothing," I say, shrugging. She doesn't believe me. "I'm not stupid, Der."

"It's nothing, Sarah." I say, "Go back to sleep."

"I will once you do." She says adamantly.

Even when I don't want to, I turn my back on her, facing the other side. She hugs me from behind and says, "Tell me. What's bothering my Sourwolf?"

Stiles Fucking Stilinski. He gave me that nickname long ago and Sarah loved how mad I got because of it. So much so that even she calls me that.

I don't get mad at her when she calls me that, but still, it's obnoxious.

"Is it what Gerard said?" She asks, and my silence gives her the answer.

"Der, look at me." She says. I turn around and she kisses me. I kiss her back, pulling her on top of me. She breaks the kiss and lays her head on my chest again. I sigh contentedly.

"He was wrong when he said that," She murmurs, and I shake my head, "Was he? I think he was right. I don't fit among you guys, Sarah. I don't fit in Scott's perfect pack, not the traumatised, rude wolf, no."

Sarah doesn't say anything for a long time, and I almost think she has fallen asleep. But then she says, "Not yet."

I scoff. "You think's Scott gonna wanna want me as his ally? After we've been hating each other for months?"

"If there's anything my brother excels at, it's forgiveness." Sarah says slowly, "You may not be a part of Scott's pack, but that doesn't make you insignificant, Der."

I'm sure that she does not want to see me wallow in self-pity, but I can't help but say, "Gerard said otherwise."

"Since when do you take the old hog hag's words seriously?" She chides and I almost laugh. She's right, I shouldn't take Gerard seriously. But I cannot help it. I can't help but doubt if his words are true. Sarah would never let me believe it, but I do feel insignificant.

I turn around, and hug her. What would I do without her? When I came back to Beacon Hills, my sole purpose and focus was finding out who killed Laura, and leaving immediately after.

But then I saw two boys trudging around my house, one of them too noisy and the other wheezing from asthma. When the latter lost his inhaler, I had hoped that he wouldn't come back. I don't want anyone near my house.

But they did. And not just them this time, with them was a woman. Great, I had said to myself, I did not script in more guests. But then I saw her face, only from afar, but my breath was stolen out of my lungs. After a long time, I found myself smiling.

Sarah tries not to fall asleep, and I kiss her. She kisses me back and gives me a goofy smile. But then her face turns serious again.

"Gerard did whatever damage he could." She says grimly, "He said what he wanted to. And Derek, there are going to be people in your life who'll say some pretty mean shit to you."

"And I should rip their throat out." I say nonchalantly and she rolls her eyes, "No. How many people would you kill?" She asks me, and doesn't wait for an answer, "You know what, I actually don't wanna know."

I chuckle and she smiles at me softly.

"My point is," She says, "People talk. One day about one person, and the next day about the other. You cannot silence everyone. You cannot control what you hear, but you can control what you listen to."

I blink. That was a very heavy statement.

"Don't listen to people who don't care about you." She shrugs, "Listen to those who actually care about you."

"Like who?" I tease, stroking her thigh.

"Oh, fuck you." She yawns, "I'm sleepy. Not tonight."

I laugh. As much as I would like to tear our clothes apart and bury myself inside her, she's right. Even I'm getting sleepy.

"And just because someone said something doesn't make it necessarily true." She says and kisses my cheek. "I know it's easy to talk about all of this and much more difficult to actually implement it, you have to try."

Her hair fan her face, and I stroke them away as I plant a kiss on her head. There she is. My paramour. Capable of understanding me.

I keep her hand on my heart, wishing that she'd be able to feel what I cannot say. Feel what runs through my veins, feel that every single beat of my heart calls her name.

She's right. As much as I still feel like an oddball, I feel different with Sarah. With her in my arms, I feel like I'm home. I feel that I fit in, in her company. In her arms. In her life.

The Big Sister

Derek Hale x Sarah McCall

Timeline: In S4, when Scott bites Liam Dunbar. Scott doesn't know how to calm Liam down and explain to him what just happened, so he takes him to the calmest and most sane person he knows. His sister.

Sarah's POV -

The hospital's rarely so quiet and calm at this hour. I don't remember a day where there was no crowd at 5 pm, which falls between the visiting hours. Yes, I joined as a nurse at the hospital because Stiles, while being possessed by the nogitsune, burned down my pharmacy.

He insists on paying for it, but they're already in a lot of debt. So I refused. But I do want to get it back up someday. When I have enough money. And enough time.

Surprisingly, I like it at the hospital. There's something soothing and enriching about helping someone heal and get better, though the medicines usually ruin a different part of your body than what they are supposed to fix.

Sipping coffee, I turn to the next page of the book I'm reading. Who knew I'd like to read about elves and wizards? But this book is good. Maybe I'll ask Derek to read it too.

I'm so engrossed in my book that I don't realise when someone stands in front of me at the reception. I don't look up, Mom will handle it.

"What are you doing here?" Mom asks from beside me and that makes me look up.

My brother, Stiles, Derek and a boy I don't recognise stand in front of me. They're not looking at Mom, they're looking at me. The boy looks agitated and angry. He looks like he can break something.

"Hey CeeCee," Scott gives me a smile, "Got a moment?"

"Allow me to brace myself," I say and close the book. "What do you want?" I ask after standing in front of him.

"Not here, Angel." Derek whispers in my ear after wrapping his arm around my waist, "Somewhere private."

I look at him curiously. "Der, what is it?"

Derek doesn't reply, just looks around suspiciously and gives me a wry look.

Right. Privacy.

I lead them to an empty supply room and lock the door behind me. The boys stand behind me, looking at the stranger.

"Right. What's going on?" I ask my brother.

"CeeCee, this is Liam Dunbar," Scott says, pointing to the stranger. I give him a nod and reach out my hand for him to shake. "Sarah McCall, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." He replies politely, shaking my hand.

"You might wanna maintain distance." Stiles whispers in my ear, "He's explosive." I give him a confused look and step back.

Derek wraps a protective arm around my waist and pulls me towards him. He's not being subtle. Derek is always protective over me, but he's just a teenage boy. I can feel his claws on my shirt. I look at Liam curiously, and then it dawns on me. He must be a werewolf.

"So, Sarah." Scott begins, and Liam glares at him ferociously. That's when I know something is wrong. Scott avoids calling me by my real name, he always calls me CeeCee.

"There was a Wendigo attack-"

"Scott bit Liam."

My mouth hangs open as Stiles interrupts my brother. "What?" I look at my brother, shocked, "Why?"

"I'll explain," Scott says, scowling at Stiles, who closes his mouth. "There was a Wendigo attack here, right? Liam was at the hospital at that time."

"Oh, yes," I murmur. I've never seen Liam before, but Mom had mentioned a boy who had broken his arm or something. "What about that?"

"So the Wendigo grabbed Liam and took him on the roof. Luckily, I reached there and tried to fight him. But the Wendigo threw Liam over the edge. Liam held on just by his fingertips and I couldn't go help him because the Wendigo was holding me back. So I er..I had to use the only option I had. I had to bite him." Scott explains and sighs.

I blink, trying to digest the information. I gulp and turn to Liam. "Oh. Hi."

"Yeah, hi." He says wearily.

"So, why is he here?" I ask Scott, who replies, "We..er...we haven't...he doesn't..."

"He's an explosive grenade, and doesn't know what has happened to him, and what is going to happen to him because of what had happened to him and he also..kind of hates us." Stiles jumps in, "It'd be better if you talk to him, CeeCee."

"Er..sure." I say and whisper in his ear, "Why me?"

"You're nice, and calm and kind. He can do with kind." Scott says.

"Especially after you kidnapped me." Liam shoots at him.

I look at Scott, alarmed. "You kidnapped him?"

"To keep him safe." He says hastily. I'm about to retort but Derek says, "Point is, Angel, we need you to talk to him. Explain things to him before he wrecks the town on the next full moon."

"Let me guess, did you give him the 'we're brothers now' talk?" I turn to Scott, suppressing a giggle. Scott blushes and I look at Derek, "I remember the time you tried to tell that to Scotty, and it did not go well."

"I didn't have you at the time, now I do." He says lovingly.

I kiss him softly and then turn to Liam. "Alright kid. Let's talk."

I ask Mom for permission to use an empty room, and she grants it immediately, knowing the severity of the situation. Mom is great at picking up hints.

I lock the door behind me and turn to look at Liam, who sits awkwardly on the bed. I pull up a chair to sit in front of him. "Make yourself comfortable. Trust me, I'm not gonna do anything to you."

"It's difficult to trust you since it was your brother who bit me." Liam snaps, and I look at him with mild shock. "Hmm, now I see why Stiles called you a grenade. Tell me, Dunbar. What else is it? How do you get so angry easily?"

"What are you? A doctor?" He questions, ignoring what I said.

"No." I say, "Do I look like one?"

"Then what are you?" He bends forward, glaring at me threateningly.

"Kid," I say with a raised eyebrow, "Don't try to threaten me. My brother and my boyfriend are standing right outside and they can hear every word of our conversation. If Derek catches even a whiff of you trying to hurt me, you won't be alive to see the next full moon. And I don't want you to die. So I suggest we do this calmly."

Liam sits back and huffs. "Fine. Now will you tell me what's going on?"

"I will." I say, "After you tell me what's going on with you. You're aggressive, get angry easily. Why? What do you have?"

"IED." He says dejectedly.

Oh. Oh. Out of everyone my brother had to choose as a beta, he chose one with who had frequent anger outbursts.

I start to feel bad for Liam Dunbar. The whole werewolf ordeal is going to be tougher for him since he's much more prone to anger and aggression.

"I see," I say. My voice is even, I don't want him to know that I feel bad for him. I'm not sure if he'll appreciate pity. Best to not assume. Besides, he'll feel safe enough to open up if I talk to him with a neutral tone and perspective.

I brace myself. "You need to be calm for what I'm about to tell you."

Liam looks at me wordlessly. I can't put a word on how he's feeling or what he's thinking, so I continue. "Liam, you're a werewolf."

His eyes go wide for a second, shock covering his face. Then, he bursts out laughing. "Are you serious?" He chokes out, "Out of everything, I hadn't expected this. A werewolf? Seriously, Miss McCall? What do you think I am? A nutjob?"

"Liam, I'm not kidding." I say seriously. "Did you not see Scott's face when he bit you?"

He stops laughing. His face turns grim suddenly, all humour fading. He doesn't say anything, but by the look in his eyes, I know he remembers.

"Liam, I know this sounds ridiculous, believe me it was to me as well but - this is all real." I say softly, "My brother's a werewolf, and so are you now."

He panics, and though I'm not a werewolf, I can see that his heart rate has picked up. Looking at me frantically, "Wait...what?" He sputters, "What? You can't be serious!"

"I'm sorry," I say, not letting my voice waver. I look at him kindly, "But I am."

"Well then, what do I do?" He exclaims, "How can I turn back into a normal person? How can I undo it?"

"You can't," I say, bracing myself. I feel too bad for him. For a second, I don't see Liam. I see Scott. Scott, when he had been bitten and was learning how to control. Scott, when he was so frustrated at everything. Scott, couldn't be with the girl he loved and was failing in class because of something he didn't do.

"What do you - what do you mean by that?" He asks. His voice is shaking, he's trying his best to not get angry. But his efforts are unsuccessful.

"Liam, you can't go back to being a human again. You are a werewolf, and there's nothing you can do about that. I'm sorry." I say, and wish it didn't sound heartless. God, I sound like a manipulative bitch here.

"THE HELL I CAN'T!" He snarls, standing up. My heartbeat quickens, but I try to stay calm. "Don't get in here." I whisper, hoping that Derek and Scott outside can hear. "I'll handle it."

"YOUR BROTHER DID THIS TO ME!" He thundered, "I'M AN ANIMAL! A FUCKING ABOMINATION BECAUSE OF HIM!"

"Liam, if Scott hadn't bit you, you would've been dead," I say, looking into his glowing yellow eyes. "Would you rather prefer death over being a werewolf?"

"That's the thing!" He snaps and starts prowling around the room. "I don't even know what being a 'werewolf' means. How am I supposed to live this?"

"That's why I'm here." I say with a small smile, "To help you."

He sits in front of me again, "Are you a werewolf too?"

"No."

"What are you?"

"Human."

"Then why are you talking to me?" He asks, "Why are you risking it?"

I sigh. "Because you remind me of someone, and I wasn't able to help him a lot. He suffered, and I don't want you to follow in his footsteps. That's why I'm 'risking it'."

"Alright. I'm not gonna ask you to elaborate." He states and I smirk, "Good, because I'm not going to elaborate either."

"So tell me." He leans back and looks at my grugdingly. "What does it mean to be a werewolf? Even when you don't have first-hand experience."

"As you might know from fairytales and fantasy stories," I begin, "You're half wolf, half human. This ensures that you have heightened senses, like you can hear my heartbeat and you can also smell all of the sanitisers in this hospital. You also have the strength and speed of a wolf, you're much stronger than a normal human being. Faster, too."

He looks at me curiously. "Go on."

"You'll heal fast. Like, very fast. If I were to stab you right now, you'd magically heal and your wound will disappear within seconds, depending on how deep it is." I add, and he looks at me in wonder. Yeah, he's liking this.

"You'll never fall sick, your immunity is just too strong for that." I say, "And you'll also look better."

He grins and I smile. "It is true."

"You're not immortal. You're gonna age, but very slowly." I say, "And now let me dissolve a myth, which I also believed before my brother was turned into a werewolf."

"The thing is, you're not gonna turn into an actual wolf on full moon nights." I say carefully, "But your claws - which you have by the way - will come out, there'll be hair on your face - don't ask me why - your face will change...sorta. And you will be rabid. You will get angry, you will become a wild animal, basically. And you can kill someone."

Liam stares at me, open-mouthed. I gulp, this was not the best way to explain things to him. I let out a string of curses in my mind. This shouldn't have played out the way it did.

"Unless you learn how to control." I say quickly, before guilt overwhelms him.

"How do I learn how to control?" He asks, his eyes glassy. My heart clenches.

"You've to find an anchor." I say and keep a hand on his wrist. He's looking down, and a tear falls onto my hand. "Liam," I say, "Look at me."

He looks up slowly, "Am I going to kill someone?"

"Not if you learn how to control." I say. "To control yourself, to not shift into that primal, animal part of you, you need to have an anchor. Someone who will bind you to your human side. Or something, it'll do too."

He looks confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that-" I click my tongue, "See, an anchor is something - or someone - for whom or for which you will want to be human. An anchor pulls you towards your human side."

"Who's Scott's anchor?" He asks and I say shortly. "Himself." I don't want to spill the details of his and Allison's rollercoaster of a romance.

"Who's Derek's anchor?" He asks and I try not to blush. "Me."

Liam looks away, embarassed. "Sorry. Shouldn't have asked."

"It's okay." I say, clearing my throat.

"So...I need to get a girlfriend?" He asks, clearly confused.

I lean backwards and look at the ceiling. "No. It doesn't have to be a girlfriend." I say thoughtfully. An idea pops into my head and I look at him, "Imagine it this way. When you shift - that is, when you have claws and facial hair and all - you're gonna feel very powerful, very strong and very angry. You're gonna be fearless, and disoriented. You won't have a care in the world. So, would you like to come back to your human side after that?"

"I don't wanna kill anyone." He says uneasily and my heart softens. He's more like Scott than what I had imagined.

"That's great." I say, "So, an anchor needs to be someone who you think of - someone for whom you will abandon being that creature because you know you will hurt them, someone whose thoughts can help you shift back to your human side. It doesn't have to be a girlfriend, can be a parent, or a friend or whatever."

"So that's it? Find an anchor and you'll be fine?" He asks hopefully. I nod, "You should be. But it's not gonna be easy. Sometimes, you chase your anchor. Go towards them, because they're the only one who make you feel better. But you can harm them. Instead, you should go away from them."

"Okay, okay, wait-" He says, "So...how do I not kill someone on the next full moon?"

"You're gonna have to be tied up," I say matter-of-factly.

"TIED UP?" He yells, astonished.

"So that when you turn, you won't roam around rampant trying to kill someone." I say, "Look, Liam, it happens to everybody. You'll learn to control yourself, but it will take time."

"How much time?"

"Depends on how well you control yourself."

"What do you mean by controlling myself?" He asks thoughtfully, "Like..not going rabid?"

"Yep." I reply, liking the fact that he's finally getting it. "Controlling yourself means controlling how much you let the primal instinct inside you affect you. It means controlling how much your own anger, rage and animalistic character affects you. Basically, it means that you have to try your best to remain as calm as possible. And that can be done with the help of an anchor."

Liam falls silent. He's trying to register everything, to understand it all. I give him that time. He deserves it.

After a while, he says. "Thank you."

I smile, "For what?" Though I already know the answer.

"For explaining everything to me. And for...you know...dealing with my anger." He says uncomfortably. I lean forward and keep my hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's fine. You're new to all of this. I get it."

He nods and I ask, "So are you ready to go outside?" He nods again and we get up. But before we can leave, Liam keeps a hand on my elbow and says, "And thank you, once again, for being like my big sister."

Masterlist

incorrect teen wolf 17/? (insp.)

Stiles, trying to fix the Jeep: I got this.

Lydia, pulling pliers from toolbox: Do you even know what this is?

Stiles: Doy, it’s a scissors.

Lydia:

Lydia: Yeah, that’s exactly right.

Stiles: No, no, no, I know when I’m being lied to, Scott.

Stiles: It’s like when I look at myself in the mirror and say, “It’s going to be okay."

Werefox Stiles would probably be the bane of Derek's existence, not because he's trouble (more than he usually is, anyway) or in the way, because all anyone has to do is pick him up and put him under an arm like a loaf of bread.

No, it's because when they have pack meetings, Stiles will zoom around, and then he'll stop, sit up on his back legs to look at Derek, and just goes

And Derek always just fucking loses it. He can't help it. Every time. RIP his reputation as a tough, hardass Alpha.

Stiles knows this and does it on purpose when Derek is being Much Serious.

And it only gets worse later, because sometimes Stiles will go, "Hey, Der, where's the kid?" And he'll turn around to look for Eli and

And he's done for. Outnumbered and outmaneuvered. He's been had.

Coach: Harris! Why do you have one of my players in detention when he should be at lacrosse training?

Harris: Mr Stilinski earned himself detention for disrespectful and disruptive behaviour.

Coach: Stilinski, explain yourself.

Stiles: Well, Coach, Mr Harris thought I was too slow in answering a question so he pointed a ruler at me and said “At the end of this ruler is an idiot”. I asked him, “Which end?”

Coach: *laughing* Go get changed and get your butt on the field, Stilinski.

Jackson: I think we can all agree I’m the ten amongst these threes.

Allison: Don't speak to me ever

Erica: I just say your dad's kinda hot

Allison: STOP IT

Stiles: Scotty, just go introduce yourself please!

Scott: Hey, I'm Scott, and you are?

Isaac: Attracted to men apparently.

Derek: *Exists*

Stiles: ❤️💓💞💛💘💙💓💕💖💓💛❤️💞❣️💚💕💓💝❤️💘💖💗💓💞💕💝💗💖❤️💘💗💛❣️💖💕💙💘💞💛💗💚💛💖💘

Lydia: How the fuck did you say that out loud?

Stiles: There are way more things I hate about Derek than like about him. His stupid Clark Kent glasses he pretends he doesn't wear, his extensive Henley collection.

Stiles: And he loves nature so much. He once talked about convergent evolution for two hours... I timed it. And he only stopped because he saw me timing him.

Stiles: Granted, he laughed, and kind of made fun of himself, it was a nice moment, but still.

Stiles: He always twitches his eyebrows when he says my name, and he tilts his head whenever I say anything totally nuts, but he never makes fun of me, which is nice.

Stiles: He's also incredibly patient, and kind, and amazingly jacked, and, oh, fuck, I'm in love with Derek!

Derek: My phone got smashed in a fight. I was going to use Stiles's, but his contact list is nothing but emojis, so I'm just going to start howling until someone finds me.

* Liam, staring at Theo intensely *

Liam: Yeah, no, you're too hot to be called Ted.

Theo: What?

Liam: What?

Stiles: *slams books down in front of Derek*

Stiles: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Derek: You could of said literally anything else.

Stiles: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Derek: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

Kira, headphones in: Jenny, darling, you're my best friend. But there's a few things that you don't know of~

Kira: Why I borrow your lipstick so often. I'm using your shirt as a pillowcase~

Kira: Ooh, I wanna ruin our friendship. We should be lovers instead~

Malia: ...

[Later]

Malia: *kicks in the door, eyes blue and claws out* WHO THE FUCK IS JENNY?!

Stiles, soaking in the bathtub: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST-

Young Derek: I don't need a babysitter, why did Scott leave me with-

Stiles: *crushes two Adderall, mixes them into a glass of Red Bull and Hennessey, and downs half in one go*

Young Derek: -an insane person. He left me with an insane person.

Sheriff: Stiles, I know you snuck out last night.

Stiles’ mind: Play dumb.

Stiles: Who’s Stiles?

Stiles’ mind: Not that dumb!

Liam: Theo, what would you do if I started tickling you right now :D

Theo: I’d kill you.

Liam: Oh.

Liam: *does it anyway*