Pack Husbands - Tumblr Posts
Werefox Stiles would probably be the bane of Derek's existence, not because he's trouble (more than he usually is, anyway) or in the way, because all anyone has to do is pick him up and put him under an arm like a loaf of bread.
No, it's because when they have pack meetings, Stiles will zoom around, and then he'll stop, sit up on his back legs to look at Derek, and just goes
And Derek always just fucking loses it. He can't help it. Every time. RIP his reputation as a tough, hardass Alpha.
Stiles knows this and does it on purpose when Derek is being Much Serious.
And it only gets worse later, because sometimes Stiles will go, "Hey, Der, where's the kid?" And he'll turn around to look for Eli and
And he's done for. Outnumbered and outmaneuvered. He's been had.
Stiles: There are way more things I hate about Derek than like about him. His stupid Clark Kent glasses he pretends he doesn't wear, his extensive Henley collection.
Stiles: And he loves nature so much. He once talked about convergent evolution for two hours... I timed it. And he only stopped because he saw me timing him.
Stiles: Granted, he laughed, and kind of made fun of himself, it was a nice moment, but still.
Stiles: He always twitches his eyebrows when he says my name, and he tilts his head whenever I say anything totally nuts, but he never makes fun of me, which is nice.
Stiles: He's also incredibly patient, and kind, and amazingly jacked, and, oh, fuck, I'm in love with Derek!
Derek: My phone got smashed in a fight. I was going to use Stiles's, but his contact list is nothing but emojis, so I'm just going to start howling until someone finds me.
Bby Eli: Dad, is stabbing against the People Rules?
Derek: Laws, and yes.
Eli: *disappointed* Oh.
John: But if you provoke them into attacking you first, then it's self-defense.
Eli: *excited* Oh! Thanks, dziadunio.
Derek: You're a man of the law, aren't you supposed to be on my side?
John: *snorts* I'm retired.
Werefox Stiles would probably be the bane of Derek's existence, not because he's trouble (more than he usually is, anyway) or in the way, because all anyone has to do is pick him up and put him under an arm like a loaf of bread.
No, it's because when they have pack meetings, Stiles will zoom around, and then he'll stop, sit up on his back legs to look at Derek, and just goes
And Derek always just fucking loses it. He can't help it. Every time. RIP his reputation as a tough, hardass Alpha.
Stiles knows this and does it on purpose when Derek is being Much Serious.
And it only gets worse later, because sometimes Stiles will go, "Hey, Der, where's the kid?" And he'll turn around to look for Eli and
And he's done for. Outnumbered and outmaneuvered. He's been had.
I think all the Hales were considered deeply weird for liking humans so much.
Like, the supernatural community probably tends to keep to itself, it's easier and overall safer to hook up with someone who is, if not the same kind of critter as you, will at least not freak out if you suddenly have claws or glowy eyes because hey, happens to everyone, right? Not to say there aren't humans in the know, of course there are, but not many.
So the Hales are a little strange, not only for consistently mating with humans, but being so absolutely rolled for them. Like, they are so gone for their mates, it's embarrassing. They call it the "Hale madness," some a little more derogatory than others.
And someone who's known the Hales for a long time, like Satomi or Deucalion, sees Derek, sees Stiles, sees Derek and Stiles, and they immediately just drag his ass, like, "I see you've contracted the Hale madness."
Stiles overhears it and immediately thinks it's, like, an actual madness and starts asking Derek about it, "What does that mean? What madness? Are you sick? Can we fix it? What's wrong?"
And Derek is just left like 😑 because he is not about to explain that no, he is not sick, there's nothing wrong with him, they're just making fun of him for being down bad for this smartass.
Derek, pushing Stiles behind him: My mate meant no disrespect.
Stiles, staring directly at another Alpha: Oh, I absolutely did.
Stiles: My fetish is saying some incredibly stupid shit and watching Derek speedrun the five stages of grief as he realizes with horror that he still wants to fuck me.
Stiles: Hey, Derek, I need your help with a math problem.
Derek: Okay? What is it?
Stiles: Well, we start with you and me, then add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and see if we multiply.
Derek: ...
Derek: Goddamn it.
Stiles: Hey, Derek.
Derek, hasn't been called anything but a pet name in 4 years: Excuse me? Didn't realise we were back on that level, Stiles.
Stiles, grinning: Baby.
Derek: Yes, mi vida?