Unconditionally G. Satoru

unconditionally g. satoru

pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader

cw: soulmates au, angst, deaths, historical events, spoilers on manga ig?, illness, blood, gore, fem! reader, typographical errors, listened to unconditionally by katy perry when writing this!

a/n: let's go, first post! thank you for helping me proofread @xuanzangg mwah

in every universe, you were soulmates. you were his and he was yours. what happens if one day you woke up, you weren't soulmates like how it was used to be 1000 years ago?

in every universe we'll live in, i will always choose you

" 'toru.." you weakly whispered as your lover held you tightly on his arms, a sword piercing through your chests as blood continues to seep out of your clothes.

"hold on to me." satoru stammered as he choked on his own blood.

"i can't breath no more." you said as you pant heavily.

a curse left his lips as satoru wiped the blood off of your mouth, gently caressing your cheek.

satoru groans as he looked up to the person who happened to thrust a single sword into your bodies, a person he never thought would betray him.

"i trusted you!" satoru yelled followed by a cough as he held you close to his chest.

"that's the weakness of the queen, too softhearted, too gullible." the betrayer said as he forced the sword out of you and satoru's chest. "may you rest in peace, queen and king." he said as he left the place with his people.

there were dead bodies of your comrades around, not a single person left breathing, they were all killed.

"s-satoru.." you mumbled as you cupped your lover's cheek with your bloodied hands. "if the gods gave us another chance to live, will you still choose me as your lover?" you said as satoru opened his closed eyes and looked at you.

"i will. in every universe we'll live in, i will always choose you." he said as he placed his forehead against yours. "i love you, my queen." he mumbled, his breathing getting slower and slower.

"i love you too, my king."

we'll meet again, my love.

if you died once, you couldn't possibly live again right?

you never believed in those words at first, but now, you're starting to believe them.

this man infront of you, the person who happened to always appear in your dreams, standing right infront of you.

"princess (name), it's an honor to finally meet you." he said as he bowed for respect as you did the same.

you were staring at him as he was.

"prince satoru, i think i've met you before." the said man laughed at your words as he held your hand on his, placing a kiss on your knuckles after winking at you.

"likewise, princess (name). it feels like i've known you my whole life but, it is the first time we met."

marrying the prince of the other kingdom wasn't a thing you expected, not when you're already a dying vegetable. you were born with a curse that when you reached the age of 25, it was the end.

at the age of 18, you married the only son of the gojo clan, a marriage where you thought your husband will be cruel and unloving like the books you read, but turns out, satoru loved you with all of his heart (just like in your past lives). he cherished you just like how you deserved it.

at the age of 24, satoru started neglecting you, or what you thought he did but it wasn't his intention though, he just doesn't want to see you disappear before him and you understand that. who would want to take care of someone who's death was already set.

but a week before your birthday, before everything ends, satoru came back to you.

"i'm turning 25 soon, prince." he was standing at the window near the bed, his sword on his hand as he kept quiet.

you sat on the bed as you caress the soft pillow in your fingers.

you heard the sound of his sword as you watch him make his way to the door.

you smiled sadly as clutched the pillow with your weakening grasp.

"satoru, will you be back?" you asked and he finally faced you.

satoru clicked his tongue, the only reason he disappeared was because he searched every land for a cure, something that would remove the curse that was casted upon you, yet not a single information was given to him.

satoru cursed under his breath as he dropped the sword on his hand, running towards you as he embraced you as tight as he could, hoping that his hold would make you stay forever.

you cupped his cheeks in your hands as you leaned your forehead to his.

"why are you crying?" you asked and it made him cry more.

"i'm scared." he said as you wiped his tears with your thumb.

"don't be, my love. i'm still here." you said as he shake his head.

"i was looking for a cure..i've searched everywhere but-" he let out a sob as he took a deep breath.

"really? i appreciate it." you said, giving him an assuring smile. "but we both know that the curse doesn't have cure." he knew that, he was just desperate.

the day of your birthday was finally coming.

it was almost midnight as you lay in bed with your lover.

"satoru, remember when you said that it's like you've known me your whole life?" you asked, looking up at him as you lay your head on his chest. "i think i get it now. it's because we're past lovers, satoru."

he chuckled in response as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "i know, from the moment i saw you, i already knew it was you, my queen."

you lay back on his chest as the surroundings went silent.

you felt his hands tightened around your form as the ticking of the clock can be heard.

"this is it, satoru."

"fuck.. i hate this." he mumbled as he clenched his fists. he couldn't do anything but to watch you die before him.

"satoru, in another universe, it's still me and you, right?"

"mhm, me and you. we'll meet again, my love."

you couldn't control your tears anymore as you kiss him for the last time.

"i love you so much, my prince." you said as satoru wiped your tears with his thumb.

"you'll always be my princess. i love you."

you and satoru went to sleep that night but the difference was he was the only one who woke up the next morning.

you are the strongest, right? my everything..

"sensei?!" yuuji exclaimed as he saw his teacher, gojo satoru walking with you, an enemy as if you and him were friends.

gojo finally approached his surprised students as he placed his arms on your head like you were something to lean on.

"this is our ally now." satoru said as you rolled your eyes at him. "right, my queen." satoru half-joked as his students were now more than surprise.

"you forced me." you joked as satoru leaned down to your height, placing a finger on your lips.

"shh, it was you who begged me to spare you."

"i did not-!"

"are we supposed to see this?" nobara said as megumi left the scene.

"welcome, ms. (name)!" yuuji exclaimed as you nod at him.

"you almost killed us before! i won't trust you for now." nobara said as she crossed her arms before following megumi who just left.

"well, kugisaki is right, but since it was gojo-sensei who introduced you, i guess i'll trust you." yuuji said, following his friends who just left.

satoru chuckled as he started walking ahead.

"gojo-"

"satoru." he said, cutting you off as he faced you.

"satoru.. it's still me and you, right?" you said as you smiled at him and another chuckle left his glossy lips.

"seems like we met again, my love. i've been waiting for you."

-

"satoru!" you forced the door open as you saw his friend, shoko doing her best to heal him.

"stay back!" his comrades said.

right, they still don't trust you. you were an enemy after all.

if satoru was standing beside you, he already protected you but he couldn't, not when he's laying on a bed, cut into half as his comrades gather around to see his situation.

seconds, minutes and an hour passed, there was no progress at all, shoko was losing her strength as she finally surrendered.

she shake her head left to right, indicating that she couldn't do anything at the situation anymore.

they left the room one by one until it was just you, him and shoko.

shoko covered his body with a white cloth as you noticed her clenched her fist.

you were standing by the door, processing the events in your head.

shoko walked past you, taking your hand as she placed something on it. a necklace, something satoru owned as she finally left.

you walked slowly to your lover as you removed the cloth that was covering his face.

your lips started to quiver as you caress his already cold cheeks

"satoru, you are the strongest right? come on, wake up now, my everything."

until we meet again, mr. gojo satoru

gojo satoru was the strongest in your past life but he died in a gruesome death.

the day he died, the day you were cursed with immortality. a curse where the person you love the most will forget you, and if the time comes that, that person remembers you, you'll disappear.

you stand before a large painting inside a museum where a king and a queen embracing each other, a sword piercing through their bodies as the king cries blood tears.

"mesmerizing, is it not?" a voice said and not just a voice, you recognized it very clearly.

a gasp left your mouth as you as stand face to face with your lover.

"satoru?.." you mumbled in disbelief, taking a one step and another as you embraced the man. "you're finally here! i've been waiting for you." you said as you look up at him.

"ah, i'm sorry but this is the first time we meet." he said and all of your hope disappeared as you took a step back.

"satoru?" another voice called him as he turned around, revealing the person. "there you are! we've been searching for you. this museum's quite big."

"i'm sorry, this painting caught my attention, oh by the way-" satoru looked back only to see no one. he looked around the place, searching for the lady he just spoke with but she was nowhere to be seen.

it was supposed to be you and him. satoru was your soulmate, not the woman you haven't seen in your whole life, they even had a son that almost looked like him.

in the end, you went back to your usual spot, where you and satoru first met when both of you were still a sorcerer.

you leaned your back against the old tree, hugging your knees close to your chest as you cry.

a broken heart was worst than death.

it was always you who dies first in your past lives. did satoru wait for you this long too? did he once watched you fell in love with someone that's not you?

you think not, because whenever you reunite with him, he'll be the first one to recognize you.

it's all because of that stupid witch and the curse she left to you.

-

how ironic that you always cross paths with the said man.

in the mall, the park, the grocery store and anywhere, you just don't show yourself to him. it'll only break your heart more watching him be happy with someone.

"wait!" he yelled as you tried your best to run away from him. he finally catch up to you as his hand burned your skin. "what the hell?" he said, feeling the same burning sensation.

he didn't even notice that you were already running away.

"just a moment please!" he called. you stopped in your tracks, letting him catch up to you as you faced him.

you wanted to hug him so bad, to kiss him and tell him how much you missed him. but you don't have the rights to do so.

"this is yours." he said, showing you a gold necklace.

you frantically searched the necklace in your pockets and there was none so you harshly took it from his hands.

"my name was engraved on it and another one. is that you? is (name) your name?" he asked as you nod. "you were that lady from the museum, right?"

"what museum?" satoru was about to say something but he was cut off when his phone started ringing.

"ah sorry, my family's looking for me." he said and he didn't know how much those simple words broke your heart.

you watched him walk back to the grocery store, leaving you alone with nothing but a shattered soul.

-

your name had slipped off his lips accidentally that led an argument between him and his wife.

he's been having a dream with someone but the face was a blur, he couldn't recognize the person.

"satoru." you mumbled as you cupped your lover's cheek with your bloodied hands. "if the gods gave us another chance to live, will you still choose me as your lover?" you said as satoru opened his closed eyes and looked at you.

"satoru, remember when you said that it's like you've known me your whole life?" you asked, looking up at him as you lay your head on his chest. "i think i get it now. it's because we're past lovers, satoru."

"satoru.. it's still me and you, right?" you said as you smiled at him and another chuckle left his glossy lips.

-

you were on your usual night walk when you're suddenly running out of breath. it was like something was blocking your airway, an invisible hand gripping on your neck as you fell on your knees.

were you finally dying? if so you were glad.

you lay your back on the grass below, your heart beating slower and slower as you gaze at the stars.

"this is gonna be my last life, satoru." you said as if he was around to hear your words.

"(name)!" you heard his familiar voice. you've been thinking of him too much to the point that you were hallucinating.

you felt your body being carried as satoru held you on his arms.

"why are you here?" you said, weakly pushing him away.

"i'm sorry, (name). i'm really sorry." he said, biting back a sob as he embraced you.

"what are you talking about." you said.

"i remember it now, fuck, i remember all of it now. i am so sorry. stay with me, okay? i'll take you to the hospital." he said as he carried you.

"there's no need, there's no cure." you said as he stopped on his tracks.

"cure?"

"this is yours." you said, ignoring him as he took the necklace in your hand.

satoru kneeled on the grass as he took the observed the necklace on his hand.

"ah, i want my satoru..please?" he heard you said and his heart ached at your dying sight. he's seen this many times now but why does it hurt more this time?

"i'm here." he whispered.

"you're not him." you know you were being petty. you shouldn't blame him from the curse that was casted upon you.

satoru was startled when you started crying.

"i'm sorry, 'toru." you said as he smiled at you, wiping your tears with his thumb.

"it's fine, i'm sorry i did not recognize you, my queen, my princess, my everything." he said.

"satoru, this will be the last time we'll see each other. be happy."

"last time?" he shake his head as he cupped your cheek. "no, we'll meet again, right?" he said as you softly laughed

"maybe we will, but you'll have to wait million years for that." you said.

"i don't care how long, i will wait for you."

"i'm grateful to have you as my soulmate, satoru."

"what's happening?" satoru said as your hand were slowly disappearing with the wind.

"the curse was lifted now, satoru." you said as you smiled at him.

"t-then that's good! we'll go home together, okay?"

"that would be impossible, plus you have a family now." you said chuckling bitterly as you sigh. "goodbye, until we meet again, mr.gojo satoru."

satoru could only watch as you disappeared with the winds, another universe where he lost you again and yet he wasn't sure if he'll see you again. maybe someday.

all too well g. suguru

pairings: geto suguru x fem! reader (satoru x reader maybe?)

cw: lovers to exes, depression, i used suguru's eye color in the manga, angst, self-sabotage, fighting (satoru and suguru), mentions of blood, cutting of hair, i used suda manami for the plot sorry 😔, crying, a lot of cursing!

a/n: another angst fic hehe sorry :p

maybe you were the problem all along, maybe you forced him to something he didn't want and suguru got tired of you. that must be it. but if you were really the problem, you were willing to change, just for him to go back.

chp 001 - chp 002

how can a person love someone to the point that they couldn't live without them? how could a person like you love someone that you still couldn't forget about them despite being separated for several months already?

geto suguru was supposed to be your high school sweetheart, he was supposed to be the person you'll be with until you grow old. why did a simple argument ended everything? but was it really that simple?

graduating high school, you and suguru decided to stay at a same dorm, not wanting to get separated again. you've started to get to know him more. you found out the things he loves and hate the most. you still remembered when he told you he hates it when you're not around. but now, you wonder if that's still the thing he hates the most.

being in a 4 year relationship with suguru, you've got to know him better. you always notice little changes about his behavior, his attitude and if something is bothering him and you hate the fact that he hid his depression to you very well. he was all happy infront of you and you didn't even know that something was already wrong.

you only found out about it the night he ended everything. he told you he fell out of love. it was sudden, you couldn't even process the words he uttered not until he embraced you, both were speaking in hushed voice, scared that one might break if one raises their voice.

"i'm sorry, but it's best if i'm away from you." he muttered, still embracing you.

"why? am i bad for you?" you said, not returning his almost cold embrace as you lean your cheek on his chest.

"mhm.. i wanted to focus on myself for now." you were speechless and you kept telling yourself that you should say something but everything was stuck at your throat.

say something! you said to yourself.

you felt suguru arms slipped away from you as he stood meters away and smiled at you.

"was i— a burden?" fuck, you were supposed to comfort him! don't be selfish right now.

"no." he answered plainly. "none of this is your fault, it was my decision."

"h-hey, we're in this together, my—"

"stop—" he stopped you before you could even reach him. "please respect my wishes." he said.

"suguru, what's wrong, hm? come on, tell me. i'm sorry was i hurting you? am i being too much? if so, i'll change! i will!.. suguru just— please?.. you're all i have."

a sob left you when he shake his head left to right, you hate how he said those words that broke you and still embraced you to comfort you.

"i'm sorry, i really am but if this continues, i'm afraid i'll break."

"but i'm here, i would love to be with you. your problem is my problem, right?

"you don't understand, (name)."

"tell me, so i could understand." you muttered as suguru pulled away by holding your shoulders.

"you're being stubborn."

"but— you'll be back, right?"

"i don't know." he said as he took his gymn bag on the bed and you stood there, frozen on the ground, lips quivering as you cry. you don't even care if you look miserable in his eyes, because once suguru stepped a foot outside, you know it's all over.

suguru held the door knob on his hand, he wanted to look back but once he did it, it would break down the walls he built himself and would tell you that he didn't mean everything he said, but he couldn't just do that, suguru needs his time alone and it was for the best, for him, and for you perhaps?

"suguru." fuck. he cursed when you called him with your voice breaking, his hand on the door knob tightening. "remember that i love you, okay? if you need something, i'm here, always."

"yeah, thanks."

and it was finally over.

being emotionally attached, it was hard without him by your side. you used to wait for him so you could eat dinner together but now, you can only only stare at the leftover food on the table for hours until you didn't want to eat anymore.

you waited, day and night as you sit on the couch staring at the door as if miracle would happen and he would come in there. you've lost track of time, you think even reality. you couldn't help but wait for him.

none of your or his friends came by to ask if you were okay but you forced yourself to think that everything was all fine because suguru will be back, right? you know he would.

a month passed, you thought you were getting better. you started going out after locking yourself in your room but seeing people around you, you couldn't help but think of the days he was still beside you and decided to just come home. you weren't getting better yet. will you ever be? yes, you eventually will.

winter was your favorite season, you and suguru loved to cuddle with thick blankets around your bodies with a mug of hot choco with marshmallows.

how many months has it been? 7 months? it's not like you're counting. you're doing good now, but the memories were still there.

you were more than ready to see him again, in a high school reunion your old classmates held so you could celebrate christmas together. you hope he will be there.

"i can't find it!" you cursed, already searched every corner of your cabinet and the scarf he gave you wasn't there, you couldn't find it. another curse left your mouth and decided to just wear a random scarf from your cabinet.

-

"i love your hair! it looks so healthy despite being so long!" you closest friend among them, utahime said.

"ah well.." you were cut off when you heard voices from the entrance of the private room of the restaurant.

"they're here." utahime said as she stood up, welcoming your old classmates and your heart increased its pace as you heard a familiar voice.

as you recalled it, none of your friends except his best friend satoru and shoko knew you were dating back then since both decided to be private. his friends were very observant that they found it out themselves.

"yo!" a surprised gasp left your mouth when satoru threw himself on you, his arms around your shoulder as he flexed his blue eyes to you and then he brushed his slender fingers on your hair as you felt heat in your cheeks when he complimented it. "what a nice hair you have, it reminds me of someone." he said.

satoru cleared his throat at he sat properly beside you.

"oi suguru, you did not inform us that you'll bring your girlfriend with you!"

you didn't know if you were taken aback at the words you heard or the way satoru pinched your cheeks, forcing a smile to form.

"what are you doing, satoru?" you said as you caressed your burning cheeks that he pinched.

satoru was about to say something but you stopped him.

"it's fine." you said, mainly assuring yourself as you smile at satoru. it's already been 7 months after all. it would be a surprise if suguru doesn't have someone new knowing that he have the looks.

shoko sat to your opposite as they trap you in the middle.

"where the hell have you been these past months?" shoko said, trapping you on her arm as she grind her finger in your hair. you laughed in response as she finally released you. "so, how have you been?"

"good."

"doesn't look like it."

"i'm fine, let's not talk about it for now." you muttered. "let's enjoy this day."

"alright, talk to me if you need something."

-

being around with your old classmates, you noticed that satoru and suguru weren't in good terms. when did it happened? they were literally roasting each other the moment everyone sat on their own seats.

"they fought, 3 months ago." shoko whispered to you as if she just read your mind.

"what happened?" you asked as shoko shrugged.

"i only found them beating each other and when i was about to ask them, they left."

you look away from satoru and did not expect to see purple eyes looking at you, but he was quick to avert his gaze.

you gulped the lump in your throat as you stare at the same scarf you were looking for, wrapped around his new girlfriend's neck. her pink hair looking good with the pink with white tip knitted scarf. maybe it was just identical to the one he gave you, right?

-

the reunion was still a long way but you couldn't be in the same room with him anymore. earlier, you were too excited, even more than ready to see him again but now, you just wanted to be away from him.

"shoko." you yelled at your friend's ear, the loud sound of the karaoke draining your energy as shoko leaned her ear close to your mouth. "i'll be leaving now, i'm getting dizzy with the loud noise." you said as she prepares herself to stand up. "it's fine, i can go by myself, i already called an uber."

"are you sure?" she said as you nod.

you decided not to inform your other classmates anymore as you left the restaurant, your whole façade finally dropping as you quietly sob whilst covering your mouth.

what did you do to deserve this kind of punishment when you were just loving someone genuinely, was that a sin?

suguru's hair wasn't as long as you remembered it, instead it was cut the same length as his best friend. hair holds memories? what a bullshit phrase. now you just wanted to pull your hair out as you cry.

maybe you were the problem all along, maybe you forced him to something he didn't want and suguru got tired of you. that must be it. but if you were really the problem, you were willing to change, just for him to go back.

you thought waiting for 7 months was enough but do you have to wait more months? even years? of course, suguru was someone you already saw in your future, on the aisle as both of you exchange vows.

7 months has passed you still couldn't move on but suguru? he was there, with someone. he finally moved on from you. you just hope that the 4 years of being together was happy for him.

"hey." you were fast to wipe your tears as the person revealed himself.

"here." satoru said, handing you a handkerchief.

"what is this for?" you forced a laugh as you sniffed, accepting the handkerchief on his hand.

"you okay? i can take you home."

"thanks for the offer, satoru, but i already called an uber." you said as the surroundings went silent and silence made you cry even more.

"i'm sorry." you said, concealing your cries with a laugh as you wiped your tears with the handkerchief satoru gave you.

"why are you apologizing?"

"i look miserable, right?" you joked as you heaved a heavy sigh.

"i should really take you home."

"it's fine, it'll be fine later. i was just surprised." you said. "so, when did they?.."

"3 months ago." satoru answered.

"ah, is that so?" you asked as satoru hummed in response. "i'm happy for him." you said but your voice shaking.

"are you?" satoru teased as both of you laugh. "i'm here, you know." he suddenly said.

"stop joking like that, satoru. suguru is your best friend, i just couldn't betray him like that."

"i'm just joking." satoru said, placing his arm around you, caressing your hair with his hand.

your phone released a sound as you noticed that the uber was already near and satoru pulled away from you.

"thank you, satoru."

"of course. you still have my— and shoko's number right? call us if you need something."

"yeah, thanks again." you said as satoru ruffled your hair.

"there goes the uber." he said as the uber stops infront of you and you were surprised when satoru opened the front door. "take her home safely or i'll beat you up." he said.

"satoru!.. don't mind him mister."

"i'm just kidding." he laughed as you huffed in response. satoru watched as the uber disappeared on his sight as he released the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"so, you're starting your plan now huh?" suguru said as he appeared behind him.

"ha? what plan?" satoru rasped as he placed his hands inside his pockets.

"stop pretending satoru, we both know what you feel for (name). it's your chance now, you can take her, i don't care."

""suguru is your best friend, i just couldn't betray him like that." she said. see how she's still worrying for you? i wonder why an innocent person like her decided to choose a bullshit person like you." suddenly, satoru cheek was met by suguru's fist as suguru held him by his collar.

"say that again!" suguru said but satoru gave the same punch he received as suguru stumbled back a bit.

"hey!" shoko's voice entered their senses as she went between them. "the fuck are you two fighting for again!" shoko yelled but she was being ignored by the two men.

"did you know suguru, i am aware of my bad habits before in high school that's why i let you be with (name) even if it hurts me because i know you are the best for her, i didn't expect you to be like this, come on!"

"stop talking as if you know everything."

"i don't fucking care, i just know that if i had her first, she wouldn't be like this. she was crying, because of you! we didn't even know you broke up with her until we saw you with your new 'girlfriend'."

"then fucking take her!"

"oh i will! just watch, geto suguru."

suguru removed shoko's hand that was gripping his sweater as he wiped the blood on the side of his mouth before going back inside.

"gojo what the fuck?" shoko said.

"forget what you heard, shoko."

"you fucking dumbass! where are you going?"

"leaving this shit reunion."

satoru was supposed to be home but what was he doing in your front door?

he cleared his throat before knocking at the door but minutes already passed, there was no answer.

satoru slumped his shoulders deciding to just leave but then the door was suddenly opened a bit as you peeked.

"satoru? what are you doing here?" you said as you open the door to fully welcome him.

satoru's mouth agape as he looked at you with slightly widened eyes.

"oh this? lovely is it not?" you said as you brushed your fingers with your new short layered hair you cut yourself. you weren't even finished cutting it when you heard a knock on the door.

"yeah, suits you." he said.

"is that for me?" you said, pointing at the plastic of foods on his hands.

"y-yeah, uhm.. shoko wanted to give this."

"really? i'll thank her later!"

"no! i mean- i'll just say it to her."

"okay?.. want to go inside?"

"sure."

-

was cutting your hair made a difference? you think not because even if you cut it already, the pain was still there. maybe you weren't really getting better, maybe not all, not anymore.

I can smell plot twist. (ikaw na yan eh hilig hilig mo magplot twist nung sa tiktok ka pa nagpopost😝)

hoy medyo lang HAHAHAHA but 👀

I LOVE MEGUMI SM :((

✶ 𝗜𝗡𝗙𝗥𝗨𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗜 / FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

. 𝓟airing ─ fushiguro megumi × reader

. 𝓖enre ─ light angst, established relationship, he apologizes at the end

. 𝓒ontent warnings ─ megumi is lowkey an ass, dumb argument

. 𝓢ynopsis ─ the reason why you're arguing is stupid. megumi is too busy doing his stupid work on his stupid computer. he's stupid. and you feel stupid for crying.

. 𝓘ndex ─ masterlist, yuji version, yuta version

❛ 𝓖irl , you're the one i 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁

𝓨ou're the one i 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 ❜

things got heated quickly. you keep talking but megumi's not even looking at you, his whole focus is placed on the stupid screen of his stupid computer.

"are you even listening to me?"

megumi groans, annoyed, removing the headphones that were loosely hanging over his head. "what? what do you want?" he asks, his hands harshly rubbing his face before he looks at you, giving you that look.

your boyfriend often came off as rude and cold—impassive, and maybe even insensitive. except he wasn't. he cared about his loved ones deeply, he just had his own way of showing it. and they knew that. you knew.

regardless, never once did you think he'd point those unphased, frigid eyes of his—his thin brows hovering them like dark clouds—at you.

"you wanted us to spend more time together, isn't that what you said?" his gaming chair was fully turned in your direction now. he was sat, his whole body demeanor screaming nonchalance, and you stood there, in front of him, feeling like a child getting scolded.

"i told you i was busy, that i had work to do, but you insisted, so i told you to come over. and now you've been clinging and bitching for the past fifteen minutes. if you're not happy, you're free to leave!"

your breathing stopped along with your heart. everything went silent, you couldn't even hear the fan noise coming from his computer, and you could've sworn five minutes had gone by before the clock ticked again.

"shit, no, that's not what i meant-"

but it was too late, now. as soon as the words left his mouth tears were already streaming down your cheeks. to be honest, you only realized when your hand subconsciously wiped the salty drops away as you let out a quiet sniffle.

you wanted to come back at him, hit him with one of your sarcastic remarks like you always did, megumi wished you did too. but you didn't trust your voice enough to do that.

getting up warily, he attempted to reach for you, you took a step back, so he tried again, and all of a sudden you were in his embrace, with his fingers tangled in your hair.

"sorry, this is stupid. i didn't mean that," he muttered, caressing your hair. his voice low and his touch delicate, he feared anything he'd do would hurt you.

"...i'm stupid."

© aastrobliss, 2024

─ ✰ 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒.

— synopsis: 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔, the popular guy in your class, chooses to sit next to you, of all people. you've fallen head over heels, what happens next?

— warnings: highschool au! angst, fluff in the beginning, will not be writing a part 2, swearing, gaslighting, betrayal, just a bet troupe, gojo being a dick or everybody generally, 3.4k words!

— a/n: not my proudest work to be honest :( also tried another formatting lmk if u liked it! comments and reblogs r very much appreciated i will love u forever

"yo. can i sit here?" gojo satoru grins, effortlessly sliding into the empty seat next to you and making himself at home.

...huh? isn't that the popular guy who's usually surrounded by his friends? he's constantly the subject of admiration among the girls in your class, eliciting swoons and whispers of infatuation wherever he goes. confusion creeps in as you wonder why he didn't choose the empty seat next to suguru. there's no conceivable reason for someone like gojo, popular and charismatic, to opt for the seat beside you. you feel a sense of self-consciousness settling in.

nevertheless, you nod softly, though you're well aware the question was more of a rhetorical one. he's fashionably late, by twenty minutes, to be precise, unabashedly ignoring the scolding glares from your teacher about punctuality. instead, he buries himself in the deep blue plastic seat, sticking his tongue out when the teacher turns his back, letting out a huffy pout from the lecture.

nervously, you glance up from your notebook, cautiously stealing a peek at your new desk buddy. he's pretty─ real pretty, snowy white lashes adorning his pretty cerulean spheres, dainty fingers idly spinning a pencil out of sheer boredom. and as if kissed by the blush of a gentle sunrise, his lips possess a natural rosy hue, smooth and plump, belong to him like a delicate work of art. you wonder just how many kisses they've stolen. caught in a moment of admiration, you find yourself staring a tad longer than socially acceptable.

his eyes flicker, locking onto yours, and the realization hits you—oh, he caught you staring. shit. immediately, you break eye contact as you cough awkwardly. you swiftly attempt to play it off, pretending as if you were engrossed in examining the intricate texture of your silver-grey desk instead. your cheeks burn with embarrassment, and you hope he hasn't interpreted your lingering gaze as anything more than idle curiosity.

...should you say something? try to deny you were very clearly eye fucking him? he probably thinks you're a freak now. perhaps he sat next to you out of pity, and now he regrets it. out of sheer embarrassment, the words die in your mouth before they could ever leave, keeping your gaze glued to the floor as you refuse to acknowledge that his presence ever existed.

however, it appears that gojo won't let you suffer the embarrassment in peace. when your stern teacher turns away, he subtly slides a ripped edge of his blue-lined paper towards you, bearing a simple 'hi :)'. he's attempting a conversation, a surprising but welcome distraction from the awkwardness of being caught staring. an opportunity to salvage a bit of your dignity. now, the challenge lies in crafting a response that strikes the right balance.

would 'hey' sound too dry? but 'heyyyy' makes it seem like you're a little too interested. you opt for a casual 'heyy' with your black pen, scribbling the reply with extra caution to avoid prying eyes. as soon as the teacher is out of view, you subtly slip the note back to gojo. his lips curl into a slight smile upon reading your response.

two minutes pass by before you get a response. 'do you get this lesson? i'm soo lost..' accompanied by a small doodle of a crying suguru. you can't help but stifle a giggle; the drawing is poorly done, yet undeniably cute. the teacher swiftly turns around at the sound, prompting both of you to scramble and make it look like you're diligently focused on the lesson. the suspicious gaze lingers for a moment before the teacher returns to the whiteboard.

'maybe it's cause you missed like, half of the lesson.' you write back. he rolls his eyes playfully upon reading your retort, swiftly countering with a pout. "it's not my fault this class is so boring.'

'who said philosophy was supposed to be fun?' you reply. in response, gojo eagerly accepts the note, maintaining the subtle exchange of eye contact. 'hey, be nice to mr. aristotle, he's a great guy :(' he sends back. and thirty minutes seem to pass in the blink of an eye.

the bell chimes, signaling the end of the philosophy session and the need to transition to your next course. reluctantly, you stow your textbook in your bag, feeling a twinge of sadness at the realization that this amusing interaction might have been a one-time occurrence.

it's been a while since you've genuinely laughed. so when his ocean blue eyes latch onto yours with a genuine sense of hope, you quickly fold when he asks you if you're interested in sitting with him again tomorrow.

in those thirty short minutes, you learn three things about gojo satoru. firstly, you realize you've sorely misjudged him. he's not just another nepo-baby cheating his way through school; he's actually quite smart, smarter than he lets on. he's especially good in biochemistry, and he promises to help you study next time.

secondly, you discover that he loves sweets, just as you do. you both agree that kikufuku mochi is better than strawberry dango, and he even tells you about his favorite shop. maybe you can go together sometime.

and thirdly, he doesn't tell you this outright, but you learn that gojo is insecure. what strikes you the most is the glimpse of uncertainty you catch beneath his confident exterior. it's not about his looks or intelligence, but it's actually about his relationship with suguru. he's afraid to lose him, a fear that seems to drive him more than anything else. he overcompensates for his self-doubt. but you find that his flaws make him all the more pretty.

it's peculiar, the speed at which gojo somehow effortlessly integrates into your daily life. how he's feeling is how you're feeling, which is usually reflected on his friendship with suguru. if they had a fight, he'd be sad, and if everything was alright, he was too. but either way was okay with you, you just want to be there for him. what was once a dreaded fourth period now stands as the radiant highlight of your entire day.

despite the limited instances of verbal communication —perhaps a mere once or twice— the inexplicable truth remains: you've fallen head over heels for him. the simple act of passing notes with satoru becomes more than a routine; it evolves into the sole force that awakens you in the morning, the singular thought that propels you forward and keeps you going throughout the day.

and just maybe, the hopeless romantic within you fervently clings to the belief that his sentiments go beyond mere friendship. his actions seem to carry an extra layer of care, an attentiveness that extends beyond your platonic friendship. he notices the little things that escape the notice of others. it wasn't lost on him when you shed tears the other night due to the weight of stress; he went out of his way to procure your favorite candy bar, a sweet gesture aimed at brightening your spirits.

he took notice of your new haircut, expressing in a note that it frames your face nicely. he had comforted you when a classmate aimed a subtle insult your way, he wrote that the words of someone whose foundation didn't match their face shouldn't hold much weight. he even made an effort to be punctual for class, all to engage in the shared exchange of silly notes with you. and honestly, even if he didn't like you back, you'd be fine.

because your heart swells with gratefulness at the fact that he chose to sit with you. he wanted to be your friend even when nobody else did. you trusted and loved him with your whole heart, because that's what you believed he deserved.

so imagine your surprise when you overhear his conversation with suguru that day.

"just a day more, then you win the bet." geto groans, tossing his head back in exasperation. the two of them linger in the now-empty classroom, the echoes of other students long gone.

"yep, twenty four hours, then you owe me three hundred dollars." satoru sings, playfully nudging his best friend's shoulder. he's all sunshine and smiles, swinging his feet from the desk he's currently sitting on.

"and it wasn't even that hard. i just had to get 'em to fall for me." suguru rolls his eyes. "dude, if i was you, i would've tapped out the first week. how'd you manage to do it?" he huffs, clearly annoyed at the impending financial loss.

satoru mischievously grins. "just used my charm." he fluffs his hair with a smug expression on his face. "can't believe it worked so fast, though. they must be real desperate for someone's attention. all it took was for you to fuckin' pretend like you cared." suguru grouches, being a sore loser. you don't hear the rest, the notebook you had lost long forgotten.

a lump forms in your throat, a sensation of dread creeping up on you. you desperately want to believe he's not talking about you, but you can't shake the realization that to him, you were nothing more than a pawn in a bet— a tool used for his amusement. you're overwhelmed by a sense of stupidity, a painful realization sinking in, drowning every rational thought.

he never cared. you could fall dead at this moment and he wouldn't even spare you a glance. you should've known. why would he? you feel stupid for allowing him entry into your life, stupid for naively believing in his sincerity, and stupid for daring to love a heartless jerk who played with the fragile strings of your heart.

they're right. you are pathetic. you just blindly fell for the first person who gave, or rather, pretended to give a shit. a relentless ache throbs in your chest as you stubbornly refuse to succumb to tears over a boy— a resolution crumbling like fragile glass. despite your stubborn determination, an uncontrollable torrent of hot tears streams down your face, distorting the world into a watery blur.

the desperate yearning for someone to choose you, to envelop you in unconditional and pure love, had fueled your hopes. and for a fleeting moment, you believed you'd found it, only to witness your heart being ruthlessly trampled blue. clutching onto the tattered shreds of your dignity, half-broken and bleeding, you muster the strength to leave swiftly before they catch a glimpse of you.

the bitter taste of betrayal lingers in the air, each teardrop is a testament to the shattering of dreams, the dead hope that once soared. the yearning for a love that stands unwavering proves to be a mirage, leaving you grappling with the shards of a love that was never truly yours.

that day, you learn one more thing about gojo satoru. he's just like everybody else.

cerulean eyes, like pools of shimmering azure, flicker with concern as they scan the empty seat beside him. minutes stretch into eternity on the clock, each tick of the second hand amplifying the weight of his worry. nine twenty morphs into nine fifty pretty quickly, and he can't help but be a little annoyed. at this rate, you'll only get in twenty minutes of 'talking.'

you're always punctual—eight fifty-five on the dot. but today, the clock ticks on, and there's no sign of you anywhere. his brows furrow with concern, a nervous flutter dancing in his stomach. did something happen to you? the mere possibility sends a pang of anxiety through him, and he fidgets restlessly in his seat, unable to focus on the lesson before him.

yet, when his gaze shifts to meet suguru's, he swiftly masks his apprehension with an air of nonchalance, as if feigning indifference to your absence. but inwardly, his heart races as he anxiously awaits your arrival. when you finally walk in, he's already scribbling furiously on a piece of paper, filled with questions about what could have delayed you today. yet, as he extends his hand to pass you the note, his eager smile fades into confusion and disappointment.

you walk right past seat thirteen, your usual spot, without so much as a glance in his direction. instead, you approach a random girl and ask if you could sit with her. his heart sinks, a flush of embarrassment coloring his cheeks as a torrent of thoughts flood his mind. is something wrong? are you upset with him? he replays every interaction in his mind, searching for any misstep. but he can't find one. he's been careful to maintain the perfect facade when you're around. perhaps you simply forgot, he reasons with himself, attempting to quell the rising tide of hurt and confusion.

yes, that must be it.

...just a simple oversight.

"hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!! just wait a moment!!" gojo's voice cuts through the chatter of students eager to leave as soon as the bell rings. he grabs your wrist, his touch gentle yet firm, halting your attempt to blend into the rush. his heart races in his chest, the sudden surge of adrenaline making his palms clammy.

"um... you didn't sit with me today." he mumbles, the words coming out in a rush, his voice tinged with uncertainty. his fingers toy with the ring around his finger, his gaze fixed on the ground as he struggles to find the right words to continue the conversation. he doesn't like the way you're looking at him. there's a flicker of irritation in your gaze, a departure from the usual warmth and affection that he's grown accustomed to. normally, when his eyes meet yours, your cheeks tint pink, your pupils dilate, and you give him the cutest starry-eyed look. but not today.

"yeah," you mutter casually, your eyebrow raising ever so slightly. there's a certain coldness in your eyes that sends a shiver down his spine. you're about to leave again, but he moves to block the door, a frown creasing his forehead.

"did i do something wrong? i don't understand why you're suddenly acting so bitchy," he huffs, irritation lacing his voice. the words tumble out before he can stop them, frustration simmering beneath the surface. "no," you reply simply, your tone devoid of any emotion, as if you genuinely don't care. it stings his ego, leaving a sour taste in his mouth.

"you can 'use your charm' to make a new friend. since it's so easy for you, right?" you mutter, your voice trembling with suppressed anger. you promised yourself you'd hold it together, but the wound is still raw, etched deep into your mind as a flush of resentment rises within his eyes widen in shock, a pang of guilt stabbing at his heart. you heard that? no, no, no... he hadn't meant for you to be there. he had been so careful, or so he thought.

"i didn't mean it, i just-" he stutters, desperately searching for an excuse, but he knows it's futile. there's no chance you'd believe him now, would you? his heart sinks. he doesn't want you to hate him. "i was easy, right?" you laugh bitterly, each word dripping with sarcasm and pain.

"i hope that three hundred dollars was worth it. not that you even needed it, though. you think toying with people is fun? you're a dick, satoru, go to fucking hell." you hiss, your words laced with venom, cutting through the air like a sharp blade. "let me explain-" he protests, desperation evident in his voice as he tries to reason with you. but you're too angry to even consider it.

"explain? explain what?'" you explode, your voice rising with each syllable, oblivious to the judgmental glances of passersby. you scoff, tears threatening to spill over.

"i didn't mean it," he cuts you off, his own voice strained with emotion. "you're my friend, i just—" his voice cracks. "friends don't manipulate other people's feelings." you interrupt, your voice laced with venom as you spit out each word. you're aware you look like a mess, mascara staining your cheeks. "friends don't trick and hurt you on purpose!" you yell, tongue dripping with malice. "and here's the thing. you may be the greatest, satoru, but you will never, be enough. not for suguru, not for anybody."

you almost regret saying it. targetting his biggest insecurity. but then again, he deserves it. "how could you say that?" his voice is broken, quiet, as he mumbles it out as a whisper. the eyes that you once found so stunning suddenly look just like everybody else's. they well with tears, but are quickly blinked away. "you don't get to cry, satoru," you scoff, unzipping your bag and opening the front pouch.

you toss all the letters you've written in class, all the sticky notes, every single ripped paper, every little doodle, flipping your bag over and emptying it on the floor. every single heart fluttering moment you experienced seems so dead now. "you don't get to act like you cared. it's only fair, after all." you manage to muster, fighting to keep your voice stable. tears drip down your chin as your bottom lip trembles.

every step feels like a battle, a relentless tug-of-war between what your heart wants and what your mind knows is right. leaving him behind is like tearing off a piece of your own soul, but you convince yourself it's for the better— for your own sanity, for your own self-respect. each stride forward is heavy with the weight of goodbye, each breath drawn in a struggle against the ache in your chest. and as you finally turn away, a part of you dies inside, a piece of your spirit crumbling in the wake of shattered trust and broken dreams. you can feel his eyes on your retreating figure, the silent witness to your silent agony.

this time he doesn't try to stop you. and when you leave, gojo finally allows himself to cry.

today, gojo finds himself seated next to suguru, reclaiming his former spot from before the bet. yet, everything feels different now. the idiotic jokes his friends make just aren't as funny anymore. their presence is irritating to him. he laughs, but the sound lacks the same genuine joy it once held with you. he smiles, but it's a mere shadow of the radiant expression he wore in your presence. his heart may feel a fleeting sense of happiness, but there will always be a hole where you once were.

his so-called 'buddies' don't even notice that he's at his lowest point, and he can't help but think about the way you would've noticed immediately.

how you would've sent him a cute note with his favourite candy attached, because you kept them in your bag just for him, for these kinds of days. he feels so numb. he's always been so confident, yet he can't even muster up the courage to pass by your desk.

and he can't help but wonder what might have been if he had chosen differently that day, if his intentions had been pure from the start. would you two have gotten somewhere? he supposes that now, he'll never know the answer. his eyes cloud over at that thought, slouching back down into his seat.

he never had the chance to tell you how sorry he was, how he would take it all back in an instant if he could. he didn't mean to hurt you. he was stupid and careless. and yet, he tries to convince himself that he'll be okay. that he'll be able to get over you one day. one day, when he's married and has two kids, he'll look back at this and laugh. so then why does his heart feel so heavy? you're not suguru, it's true. but suguru never made him feel this way. and he's confused with his own feelings.

he doesn't know what love is.

he's only sixteen.

perhaps he'll never know. but for him, love was sneaking kikifuku mochi into class for you to share. it was sending you cat memes at three am in the morning, only for you to groggily respond with your own. it was doodling you in his notebook in his spare time. it was how what you were feeling was how he was feeling too.

you were right, it seems.

gojo satoru, the greatest, yet not enough to make you stay.

© KAEFFEINEE 2024. do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works on any platform.

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