Suguru Angst - Tumblr Posts

Into each life, some rain must fall.

Geto Suguru x Reader

Genres/Warnings: angst, the reader is in the same grade as GJ, GT & SK, and was injured very badly on a mission, slight(?) hints of depression and anxeity, after the village arc, reader is (kinda) introduced to Mimiko and Nanako, not proofread

Word count: 1.8k

Notes: this is just a very random idea that popped up in my head and, i wrote it in a haze. hopefully, you enjoy it<3

(P.S. english is not my first language and this is also my first fic ever, so i apologize for any mistakes beforehand!)

____ Two days.

That’s all it took to turn your world into a shamble. Two days were all it took to turn your life into a complete mess.

The whole Jujutsu community had been shaken to shambles in the past two days. Everyone was stunned, unable to fathom how such an incident could've occurred. That too, at the hands of one of their own. The higher-ups were left dumbfounded like anyone else but still chose to feign indifference.

It hit you like a ginormous wave, demolishing everyone and everything in its path—a wave you could only hope to have been a nightmare.

But it wasn't.

Shoko sat beside your bed, holding your hand with both of hers. You realized something was wrong the moment you saw her face. The cool-and-stoic Shoko looked upset for the very first time. You knew she was preparing what to say to you, choosing the best possible words to break the news.

"What's wrong?" You breathed before she could even say anything. Shoko sighed, her eyes falling back on your injury-laden body.

"Tell me, Shoko. I can see it all over your face." You tried sitting up straighter to see her face better, but the gash running through the majority of your torso set your whole body on fire with every little movement. To no avail, you were forced to lay on your side, limp and ailing.

"Don't move!" Shoko's eyes widened as she jolted to your aid. She helped you adjust yourself. She fell back into her chair as you grunted in pain, getting used to the shift in your posture. You could see her hands clenched in tight fists, her nails cutting crescents through the palm of her hand.

"It's…Suguru," she began. "The mission Suguru was sent on recently—they're saying he has massacred the whole village. He summoned his curses and massacred a hundred people. He's been sentenced to death by the higher-ups, but they can't find him anywhere…"

Shoko's words began losing meaning. She was still telling you about what happened, but her words seemed to blur together; you couldn't understand anything anymore.

Suguru wouldn't do such a thing, right? He would never hurt a soul.

Shoko must've noticed the distress settling on your face. Her hand rested gently on your shoulder, drawing you out of your thoughts. "I think if we are able to talk to him, things might clear up. We still don't know for sure what happened in that village."

You remembered how just two days ago he sat in Shoko's seat. Late at night, he quietly popped up at your door with a copy of your favorite book. You sleepily listened to him go on about his very "mundane" day and then read you to sleep. He must've left shortly after you fell asleep, for you woke with only a tiny note stuck to the book he left behind for you: "I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer."

That's when it dawned on you that Suguru had, knowingly or unknowingly, let you in on his plans before he went A.W.O.L. To you, what felt like a silly little, maybe even a little exaggerated, story of his recent missions was actually what his whole world was like in the past few months.

He was miserable. All alone.

And none of you could see it.

Nothing in the world seemed to matter anymore. You felt bile burning up in your throat. The weight sat heavy on your chest as you doubled over, gasping for more air. You had to see him. You needed to meet him.

"Have they been looking for him?" You manage to croak out.

Shoko stroked your back, trying to ease up whatever pain you felt, however little she could. "Gojo's been trying to find him before the higher-ups' do." Her voice was shallower and heavier, as if she was barely able to keep her emotions in check.

Everyone had already made up their minds about Suguru. They weren't looking for their student anymore. They didn't care about a kid they'd let astray. They never had. Suguru would only be made one of the two things if they found him; a criminal or a scrapegoat.

Much later at night, when everything was quieter, you snuck out of your room. Your wound barely hurt anymore since you found out about Suguru. Surely it wasn't anything that could compare to what he was going through, right?

Quietly, you slung your bag over your shoulders and made your way out of the institute. You couldn't leave even a slight chance of someone following you to Suguru, though you weren't sure he'd want to see you either. But you at least had to try.

Behind the Tokyo Institute of Jujutsu Tech, a tiny shack stood abandoned at the foot of the mountain. A local legend-- often the topic of many conversations among people, but it was never actually discovered until you and Suguru stumbled upon it by accident during a regular inspection. The seclusion of the shack made for a perfect, peaceful hideout. For the two of you, it was the perfect getaway. If he wanted you to find him, he'd be there.

And you were right. The lights in the shack were visible now that you were up close. You stood at the end of the makeshift entryway of the shack, trying to gather up the courage to finally face him. Your hands were clammy, no matter how much you wiped them against your side. You breathed in for a final time before knocking on the door.

It opened almost immediately, as if it were waiting for your arrival.

Suguru stood at the door. Disheveled and anticipating. He had been waiting for you. He grabbed your hand to pull you in and locked the door behind him. His breathing had obviously hitched as he whispered your name, almost as if he were reminiscing about the taste of your name. "I thought you'd... I wanted to see you one last time. I didn't know if you'd actually come."

His fingers laced with yours as the two of you stood stuck to the floor, unmoving. Both of you felt this insane amount of uncertainty. Sure, you had held hands with Suguru before, but it was always platonic. It was different—the way he held your hand this time. It was almost as if he wasn't sure of what to do next.

Was this how it went? Were you still his friend?

"Suguru," you began. "It's not true—what they're saying—is it? They're just trying to frame you for it. Right?" Your brows furrowed together as you looked at him, waiting for him to deny everything. For him to tell you that he was being wronged. That he was being framed.

But Suguru stood speechless. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. His grip on your hand loosened as his head dropped.

You felt confused and betrayed by his silence. It surged through you like a pain you had never felt before—your wound seemed like a mere scratch in comparison. But you couldn't let it show on your face. Not until you hear his explanation. "Suguru." You reached for his hand this time, holding it with a firmer grip. "Can you at least tell me what happened?"

And just like that, something visibly shifted in him. It was like a newfound trust that perhaps you wouldn't condemn him that much. Maybe—just maybe—you would understand why he did what he did. That you would comprehend his actions and why he did them. Suguru bent over, your body barely holding his as his knees gave out.

"I am just so tired of this life," he sobbed. His shoulder shuddered under your touch. "I'm so sick of living like this."

You braced his shoulders, trying to console him. "It's not too late yet, Suguru." You weren't thinking straight. You didn't even completely know what you were talking about. It only mattered that Suguru was breaking down in front of your eyes, and you couldn't do anything to hold him together.

"It's not too late to return yet." You pulled away slightly to finally look at his face. "Hmm?"

Suguru shook his head in disagreement. "I can't go back. Not after I... I did it. It is all true what they're saying. I'm a monster."

You felt the air knock out of your lungs at his confession. Now that you heard it from him, the realization finally sank in. Suguru had massacred hundreds of people.

There was no going back.

"Oh, Suguru," You choked on your words, not that you had any left. "What have you? No! I'm sure we can find a way. Gojo can. Right? He's the strongest." Your face twisted in fear and something else you couldn't quite pin.

Suguru called your name, pulling you out of your thought train. He was much calmer now, as if he knew nothing more could be done. The realization had set in for him too. "I can't go back anymore."

He stood up, pulling you along with him, and guided you carefully to the back of the shack. He lifted the room divider open just a little to reveal a glimpse of two little girls curled up against each other on the dusty couch. "I won't. Those people were monsters, no less than me."

You let out a gasp at the scene before you as he drew the curtain close again. "They're just kids. Like we were. Like they once were. So why did they have to live like that? What fault did they have?" He was barely keeping his voice even.

Your mind was sending you into a spiral. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. You swiftly made your way towards the front of the shack, where your bag lay, abandoned. Suguru followed after you, calling your name. Prying open the zipper, you pulled out some canned food, grabbing them in his hands.

"What are you doing?" He called after you, worry lacing his tone as he watched you pick up your empty bag, ready to leave.

"I need some time... to think, Suguru." You tried to keep your voice as unreadable as possible. How would he feel if you sounded terrified, repulsed, or anything at all? "I'll come by- I... Would I be able to see you again?" You stopped to look at him one last time, hoping he'd stop you. Hoping he'd ask you to stay just a little while longer.

He was hesitant. "I'm not sure." He looked as if he were stopping himself from holding onto you too. He'd be too selfish if he did that, right?

"Take care, Suguru." You whispered, choking back your tears and putting on your straightest face. Suguru only watched as you left, unmoving and unspoken. You'd just be a threat to him if you stayed, right?

No matter how close you were to him, he was still a criminal.

And you, a sorcerer.

all too well g. suguru

pairings: geto suguru x fem! reader (satoru x reader maybe?)

cw: lovers to exes, depression, i used suguru's eye color in the manga, angst, self-sabotage, fighting (satoru and suguru), mentions of blood, cutting of hair, i used suda manami for the plot sorry 😔, crying, a lot of cursing!

a/n: another angst fic hehe sorry :p

maybe you were the problem all along, maybe you forced him to something he didn't want and suguru got tired of you. that must be it. but if you were really the problem, you were willing to change, just for him to go back.

chp 001 - chp 002

how can a person love someone to the point that they couldn't live without them? how could a person like you love someone that you still couldn't forget about them despite being separated for several months already?

geto suguru was supposed to be your high school sweetheart, he was supposed to be the person you'll be with until you grow old. why did a simple argument ended everything? but was it really that simple?

graduating high school, you and suguru decided to stay at a same dorm, not wanting to get separated again. you've started to get to know him more. you found out the things he loves and hate the most. you still remembered when he told you he hates it when you're not around. but now, you wonder if that's still the thing he hates the most.

being in a 4 year relationship with suguru, you've got to know him better. you always notice little changes about his behavior, his attitude and if something is bothering him and you hate the fact that he hid his depression to you very well. he was all happy infront of you and you didn't even know that something was already wrong.

you only found out about it the night he ended everything. he told you he fell out of love. it was sudden, you couldn't even process the words he uttered not until he embraced you, both were speaking in hushed voice, scared that one might break if one raises their voice.

"i'm sorry, but it's best if i'm away from you." he muttered, still embracing you.

"why? am i bad for you?" you said, not returning his almost cold embrace as you lean your cheek on his chest.

"mhm.. i wanted to focus on myself for now." you were speechless and you kept telling yourself that you should say something but everything was stuck at your throat.

say something! you said to yourself.

you felt suguru arms slipped away from you as he stood meters away and smiled at you.

"was i— a burden?" fuck, you were supposed to comfort him! don't be selfish right now.

"no." he answered plainly. "none of this is your fault, it was my decision."

"h-hey, we're in this together, my—"

"stop—" he stopped you before you could even reach him. "please respect my wishes." he said.

"suguru, what's wrong, hm? come on, tell me. i'm sorry was i hurting you? am i being too much? if so, i'll change! i will!.. suguru just— please?.. you're all i have."

a sob left you when he shake his head left to right, you hate how he said those words that broke you and still embraced you to comfort you.

"i'm sorry, i really am but if this continues, i'm afraid i'll break."

"but i'm here, i would love to be with you. your problem is my problem, right?

"you don't understand, (name)."

"tell me, so i could understand." you muttered as suguru pulled away by holding your shoulders.

"you're being stubborn."

"but— you'll be back, right?"

"i don't know." he said as he took his gymn bag on the bed and you stood there, frozen on the ground, lips quivering as you cry. you don't even care if you look miserable in his eyes, because once suguru stepped a foot outside, you know it's all over.

suguru held the door knob on his hand, he wanted to look back but once he did it, it would break down the walls he built himself and would tell you that he didn't mean everything he said, but he couldn't just do that, suguru needs his time alone and it was for the best, for him, and for you perhaps?

"suguru." fuck. he cursed when you called him with your voice breaking, his hand on the door knob tightening. "remember that i love you, okay? if you need something, i'm here, always."

"yeah, thanks."

and it was finally over.

being emotionally attached, it was hard without him by your side. you used to wait for him so you could eat dinner together but now, you can only only stare at the leftover food on the table for hours until you didn't want to eat anymore.

you waited, day and night as you sit on the couch staring at the door as if miracle would happen and he would come in there. you've lost track of time, you think even reality. you couldn't help but wait for him.

none of your or his friends came by to ask if you were okay but you forced yourself to think that everything was all fine because suguru will be back, right? you know he would.

a month passed, you thought you were getting better. you started going out after locking yourself in your room but seeing people around you, you couldn't help but think of the days he was still beside you and decided to just come home. you weren't getting better yet. will you ever be? yes, you eventually will.

winter was your favorite season, you and suguru loved to cuddle with thick blankets around your bodies with a mug of hot choco with marshmallows.

how many months has it been? 7 months? it's not like you're counting. you're doing good now, but the memories were still there.

you were more than ready to see him again, in a high school reunion your old classmates held so you could celebrate christmas together. you hope he will be there.

"i can't find it!" you cursed, already searched every corner of your cabinet and the scarf he gave you wasn't there, you couldn't find it. another curse left your mouth and decided to just wear a random scarf from your cabinet.

-

"i love your hair! it looks so healthy despite being so long!" you closest friend among them, utahime said.

"ah well.." you were cut off when you heard voices from the entrance of the private room of the restaurant.

"they're here." utahime said as she stood up, welcoming your old classmates and your heart increased its pace as you heard a familiar voice.

as you recalled it, none of your friends except his best friend satoru and shoko knew you were dating back then since both decided to be private. his friends were very observant that they found it out themselves.

"yo!" a surprised gasp left your mouth when satoru threw himself on you, his arms around your shoulder as he flexed his blue eyes to you and then he brushed his slender fingers on your hair as you felt heat in your cheeks when he complimented it. "what a nice hair you have, it reminds me of someone." he said.

satoru cleared his throat at he sat properly beside you.

"oi suguru, you did not inform us that you'll bring your girlfriend with you!"

you didn't know if you were taken aback at the words you heard or the way satoru pinched your cheeks, forcing a smile to form.

"what are you doing, satoru?" you said as you caressed your burning cheeks that he pinched.

satoru was about to say something but you stopped him.

"it's fine." you said, mainly assuring yourself as you smile at satoru. it's already been 7 months after all. it would be a surprise if suguru doesn't have someone new knowing that he have the looks.

shoko sat to your opposite as they trap you in the middle.

"where the hell have you been these past months?" shoko said, trapping you on her arm as she grind her finger in your hair. you laughed in response as she finally released you. "so, how have you been?"

"good."

"doesn't look like it."

"i'm fine, let's not talk about it for now." you muttered. "let's enjoy this day."

"alright, talk to me if you need something."

-

being around with your old classmates, you noticed that satoru and suguru weren't in good terms. when did it happened? they were literally roasting each other the moment everyone sat on their own seats.

"they fought, 3 months ago." shoko whispered to you as if she just read your mind.

"what happened?" you asked as shoko shrugged.

"i only found them beating each other and when i was about to ask them, they left."

you look away from satoru and did not expect to see purple eyes looking at you, but he was quick to avert his gaze.

you gulped the lump in your throat as you stare at the same scarf you were looking for, wrapped around his new girlfriend's neck. her pink hair looking good with the pink with white tip knitted scarf. maybe it was just identical to the one he gave you, right?

-

the reunion was still a long way but you couldn't be in the same room with him anymore. earlier, you were too excited, even more than ready to see him again but now, you just wanted to be away from him.

"shoko." you yelled at your friend's ear, the loud sound of the karaoke draining your energy as shoko leaned her ear close to your mouth. "i'll be leaving now, i'm getting dizzy with the loud noise." you said as she prepares herself to stand up. "it's fine, i can go by myself, i already called an uber."

"are you sure?" she said as you nod.

you decided not to inform your other classmates anymore as you left the restaurant, your whole façade finally dropping as you quietly sob whilst covering your mouth.

what did you do to deserve this kind of punishment when you were just loving someone genuinely, was that a sin?

suguru's hair wasn't as long as you remembered it, instead it was cut the same length as his best friend. hair holds memories? what a bullshit phrase. now you just wanted to pull your hair out as you cry.

maybe you were the problem all along, maybe you forced him to something he didn't want and suguru got tired of you. that must be it. but if you were really the problem, you were willing to change, just for him to go back.

you thought waiting for 7 months was enough but do you have to wait more months? even years? of course, suguru was someone you already saw in your future, on the aisle as both of you exchange vows.

7 months has passed you still couldn't move on but suguru? he was there, with someone. he finally moved on from you. you just hope that the 4 years of being together was happy for him.

"hey." you were fast to wipe your tears as the person revealed himself.

"here." satoru said, handing you a handkerchief.

"what is this for?" you forced a laugh as you sniffed, accepting the handkerchief on his hand.

"you okay? i can take you home."

"thanks for the offer, satoru, but i already called an uber." you said as the surroundings went silent and silence made you cry even more.

"i'm sorry." you said, concealing your cries with a laugh as you wiped your tears with the handkerchief satoru gave you.

"why are you apologizing?"

"i look miserable, right?" you joked as you heaved a heavy sigh.

"i should really take you home."

"it's fine, it'll be fine later. i was just surprised." you said. "so, when did they?.."

"3 months ago." satoru answered.

"ah, is that so?" you asked as satoru hummed in response. "i'm happy for him." you said but your voice shaking.

"are you?" satoru teased as both of you laugh. "i'm here, you know." he suddenly said.

"stop joking like that, satoru. suguru is your best friend, i just couldn't betray him like that."

"i'm just joking." satoru said, placing his arm around you, caressing your hair with his hand.

your phone released a sound as you noticed that the uber was already near and satoru pulled away from you.

"thank you, satoru."

"of course. you still have my— and shoko's number right? call us if you need something."

"yeah, thanks again." you said as satoru ruffled your hair.

"there goes the uber." he said as the uber stops infront of you and you were surprised when satoru opened the front door. "take her home safely or i'll beat you up." he said.

"satoru!.. don't mind him mister."

"i'm just kidding." he laughed as you huffed in response. satoru watched as the uber disappeared on his sight as he released the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"so, you're starting your plan now huh?" suguru said as he appeared behind him.

"ha? what plan?" satoru rasped as he placed his hands inside his pockets.

"stop pretending satoru, we both know what you feel for (name). it's your chance now, you can take her, i don't care."

""suguru is your best friend, i just couldn't betray him like that." she said. see how she's still worrying for you? i wonder why an innocent person like her decided to choose a bullshit person like you." suddenly, satoru cheek was met by suguru's fist as suguru held him by his collar.

"say that again!" suguru said but satoru gave the same punch he received as suguru stumbled back a bit.

"hey!" shoko's voice entered their senses as she went between them. "the fuck are you two fighting for again!" shoko yelled but she was being ignored by the two men.

"did you know suguru, i am aware of my bad habits before in high school that's why i let you be with (name) even if it hurts me because i know you are the best for her, i didn't expect you to be like this, come on!"

"stop talking as if you know everything."

"i don't fucking care, i just know that if i had her first, she wouldn't be like this. she was crying, because of you! we didn't even know you broke up with her until we saw you with your new 'girlfriend'."

"then fucking take her!"

"oh i will! just watch, geto suguru."

suguru removed shoko's hand that was gripping his sweater as he wiped the blood on the side of his mouth before going back inside.

"gojo what the fuck?" shoko said.

"forget what you heard, shoko."

"you fucking dumbass! where are you going?"

"leaving this shit reunion."

satoru was supposed to be home but what was he doing in your front door?

he cleared his throat before knocking at the door but minutes already passed, there was no answer.

satoru slumped his shoulders deciding to just leave but then the door was suddenly opened a bit as you peeked.

"satoru? what are you doing here?" you said as you open the door to fully welcome him.

satoru's mouth agape as he looked at you with slightly widened eyes.

"oh this? lovely is it not?" you said as you brushed your fingers with your new short layered hair you cut yourself. you weren't even finished cutting it when you heard a knock on the door.

"yeah, suits you." he said.

"is that for me?" you said, pointing at the plastic of foods on his hands.

"y-yeah, uhm.. shoko wanted to give this."

"really? i'll thank her later!"

"no! i mean- i'll just say it to her."

"okay?.. want to go inside?"

"sure."

-

was cutting your hair made a difference? you think not because even if you cut it already, the pain was still there. maybe you weren't really getting better, maybe not all, not anymore.

Parallels are funny

I was never into anime when we were friends. I just wasn't a fan, until recently. I was watching a few different animes based on another friend's recommendations. Jujutsu Kaisen is the one I am referring to as I write this. I never thought about why Satoru Gojo's and Suguru Geto's relationship really affected me until I saw this piece of art.

Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto fit us so well.

The love, the intensity, the ending. One who would do anything for the other if they asked. One who kept the other in check while allowing them to feel truly free. One who was shining too bright to notice the darkness consuming the other. The one who had endless possibilities, and the one who wanted the impossible.

From freshman year to the middle of our junior year of college, we were inseparable.

Constant rides and study sessions. Doing homework, and practicing our pass-off music together. Those first few classes in our major were hard, but don't worry, I was there to always lend a hand when you needed it. Classes just kept getting harder. We both started to get busy and overwhelmed. I know you started to feel depressed when I was advancing in classes, and you were struggling with the same ones. I was there to support you as much as I could, but I had to keep going. I just didn't realize that I was leaving you behind. I thought you just needed more time, but you were focused on other things.

We were a duo- connected at the hip. Always together, never too far apart.

The friendship was innocent. Sharing laughs and having late night conversations. Small, drunk kisses that didn't mean anything, right? Cuddling and sharing blankets. Matching outfits and saying I love you. We talked about getting matching tattoos. I swore you were my soulmate. We shared so many late night drives. Remember when we went to the beach at midnight and didn't get back home until 4am? Yeah, I replay the video sometimes just to hear your voice.

Everyone thought we were dating.

That was so funny, right? Of course as best friends we shared locations, had specific nights just for us to get dinner, had sleepovers every weekend, and joked about why we haven't slept together, yet. Of course, as best friends we would push the limits of what other friends do. Of course, I noticed you were struggling, I tried my best to help you. It wasn't always what you needed, but I tried. -Did you notice my struggle? No? That's okay. I hid it pretty well.- Of course, I got upset when you started to use guys to make other guys jealous. I didn't want to see you play with people's emotions like that, but I also didn't know how to stop you. You couldn't see how it affected you. You didn't see the changes it made.

Some words were said- words I wish I could take back, but it's too late for that.

We didn't speak for quite some time after that. I left my final 'I love you' on your doorstep- a scrapbook of us. The times we did speak were brief and out of pure necessity. Until, one day you volunteered a comment on my performance. I was frozen. You didn't need to compliment me- I didn't need it, rather. This was a critique, but you offered me love, instead.

That was your final 'I love you.'

I know that many other people have experienced a friendship like SatoSugu, but I think we truly encapsulated it, unfortunately. From the intense friendship with wild adventures, to blurring the lines between friend and lover, to losing each other, and to, finally, saying our final 'I love yous' to each other in our own ways.

Just like Satoru Gojo's happiness around Suguru Geto, my happiness was so loud when I was with you that I could not hear your silence. I’m sorry Satoru- Suguru didn’t stay in this universe either. Maybe the next one. In this universe, I spent 3 years loving you, and, now, I will spend the rest of forever missing you. There is no curse more twisted than love.

You're not dead, but I will never see you again. Even if I did, you wouldn’t be the same. You are my best friend, and I was yours.

jjk masterlist

angst (a) fluff (f) smut (s) masterpost

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ series

shoganai in process

the Ishikawa heir had to enter the Tokyo Jujutsu High to prevent the prophecy that had haunted her family for over two hundred years from coming true. Little did she know that the triggers for the onset of the prophecy were closer than she could've imagined…

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ gojo satoru

losing myself (a)

memories of how you lost yourself trying to keep your best friend afloat.

right here (a) (s)

it was just one of those nights when you had to take care of Satoru since Suguru left…

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ nanami kento

back to shibuya (a) (f)

snippets of your life with kento after you both miraculously survived shibuya.

moving on (a) (f)

how was your life after nanami died?

more to come...

crooked memory

genre fluff, angst, major character death, mentions of blood

tags gojo satoru x reader, biker!gojo

summary gojo satoru loves you so much.

wc; 1.3k

reblogs would be appreciated, please do not plagiarise my work, or share it on any other social media platform!

you would risk absolutely anything to see your boyfriend — the boyfriend your parents forbade you from dating, the boyfriend everybody told you was a red flag, the boyfriend even you told yourself to not fall for. but god, was satoru gojo irresistable.

the sweetest boy you had ever come to discover in this short life of yours. how the loving words he told you melted off his tongue like honey, how his arms embraced you like a soft blanket, how his eyes were the most alluring sight to fall for. he was dream, and he was yours.

light taps against your window turn your head suddenly, to notice your boyfriend outside your house, looking up at you with another pebble in his hands.

“hi baby!” he cheers, and drops the pebble, beginning to climb his way up to your room as you open your window.

“you’re not supposed to be here, what are you doing?” you walk backwards, letting him into your bedroom.

“i wanted to see you, but your parents won’t let me in.” his smile blinds you, and he closes your window quietly. he takes off his shoes, and crawls into your bed.

“hey, i just changed the sheets, at least wear the sweatpants you left here.” you whine, and open your drawer, taking out his clothes for him to wear.

he smiles at the thought of you having his things, the thought of him being a part of you, everything of him is part of you. he can’t define himself without you. the girl who makes him who he is.

“okay, baby, anything you want.” he gives you a longing kiss, before changing into appropriate clothes.

the two of you curl up in your freshly changed sheets, smelling exactly like you. he lays on your side of the bed, which you allow because you know he loves the smell of your hair on the pillow. you’re facing each other, his hands trailing your face, and yours in his hair, a moment he wishes would never end.

“how’d you get here, i thought your parents weren’t letting you out of the house.” you finally speak.

“i snuck out! i found the keys to my motorbike and just got here.” oh, how this boy would do absolutely anything for you — he was smitten. he would walk naked through a blizzard if it meant getting to you.

you held his entire heart, his entire being belonged to you and you only — and he never forgot to show that. how could he? you consumed his existence, every waking thought of his was devoured by you. a world without you was a world without him.

“what are you gonna do if you get caught?” your eyes widen in panic, excuses of what to say flourish in your mind.

“don’t worry i won’t get caugh-“ the door opens, and satoru sees your parents, seething. he looks on your side of the bed, only to see that you’ve vanished, and reality slaps him in the face.

you’re gone.

“what are you doing here? i thought we told you to never show your face again!” your father lifts the poor boy up by his sweater, the sweater you got him for his birthday, and satoru worries that it’ll tear.

“honey, please let him go, don’t hurt him.” your mother interjects, pulling him away from satoru’s neck, to which he releases a gasp. “you need to leave, sweetheart. you can’t just sneak into our house like this for no reason.” she tries to reassure satoru kindly.

“i came here for y/n.” he feels the tears well up in his eyes, his bottom lip trembles as he tries to conceal the cry for help that’s about to explode on his expression.

“you know damn well she’s not here. and it’s all your fault you fuck-“ your father starts, and your mother places her hand on his chest.

“we know you miss her satoru, we do too. what happened to her was horrible for everyone, but you need to go home, we spoke to your parents, they said you weren’t leaving the house.”

satoru suddenly remembers everything, how he made you sneak out one night with him to go on a motorbike ride, the rides your parents always hated you going on. but you had done it millions of times before then, so you left, helmet in hand.

he remembers everything so clearly, how you begged him to stop going so fast, how it was too scary, and how he laughed and just said to hold on tight. he remembers your arms around his waist, how strong of a grip you had around him — he remembers how cold it was that night, the wind and the rain soaking your outfits. he remembers the oncoming truck and your screams before everything goes dark.

he remembers gaining consciousness shortly after, how your helmet screen is cracked, face bloodied, yet you still tried to reach a hand out towards him. he remembers how you tried to shuffle towards him, and him to you, before you eventually got slower, your arm lowering, and how you laid limp, only a few centimetres before him.

he remembers being in the hospital, waiting for you, asking the doctors, nurses, his family and friends about you, only to get the same answer each time — “she’s resting.” he remembers the day you died, the same day he got discharged from the hospital, and immediately went to visit you.

he remembers hearing the monotonous beep of the machine beside you, and how his world comes crashing down, how he begins to realise it was all his fault. he should’ve never made you sneak out on such a rainy night, he should’ve slowed down when you begged him to, he should’ve just stayed in your room with you that night like he had done before.

he remembers how weeks after your funeral, he got out of bed late at night, and decided to go to your house, your room, and climbing up your house to get into your room, because you had always kept the window open for him. he remembers going into your drawers to get his clothes out, before laying in your bed, muttering to himself, saying your name, calling you baby, all before he had gotten caught by your parents.

“i-i’m sorry, i know it’s my fault, i don’t know what came over me mr and mrs l/n, i’m sorry, i’ll go-“ he breaks out into a violent sob, before getting up and trying to leave through your window, only to be stopped by your father.

“stop.” satoru turns around, with eyes like a puppy. “stay for the night, you can sleep here.” and your father walks off, with your mother following suit, after closing the for satoru, and telling him sweet dreams.

your parents knew how much you loved satoru, how happy he made you, no matter how much of a bad influence he was. they knew how much he brought light to your eyes, how you would rather disappear forever than be in a world without satoru, because he defined you, and a world without him was a world without you. no matter how much your father disapproved of the gojou boy, he knew that satoru was always going to be the one for you, in this life and the next.

satoru sniffles, looking around your room, how cold and empty it felt. even if it was full of memories and photos and posters that represented, the room was shallow, yet so spacious and deep, all because it lacked you. satoru looks at the polaroids of you and your friends taped above your desk, and notices a press dried flower besides it, with a label underneath that wrote “first date with satoru <3”, and satoru breaks all over again. you consumed him, yet you weren’t around, and that was the worst part.

and it’s at this point, satoru absolutely knows for sure, a world without you, is a world without him.

a/n: sorry, kinda bad but i was listening to nomad by clairo on repeat whilst listening to this i think i definitely cldve worded this whole thing better

©️ tora-ken 2024

EACH TIME I COME HERE I AM ABUSED-

Would You Rather?

* *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: *ੈ✩‧₊˚ *✧

✰ ft. choso, kento, satoru, suguru, toge, megumi, yuji

note: they ask you WYR questions!

warnings: cursing, suguru angst, foreshadowing

I BLOCK MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS || MDNI

Choso

Kento

Satoru

Suguru

Toge

Megumi

Yuji