Jjk Imagines - Tumblr Posts

You: Megumi?

Megumi: hmmm?

You: do you like elephant seals?

Megumi: nah, not really

Megumi: why?

You: so if I was an elephant seal, you wouldn’t love me? You’re such an assh☻le !

Megumi: are you been serious?

You: of course I am! You know what?! Don’t talk to me!

*5 days later*

Yuji: that’s why you guys haven’t talked or seen each other?

Megumi: yeah

Toji: wanna know something?

You: yeah, I guess so

Toji: every time I jump; my c♡ck hits my face

Toji: you got lucky; you have found yourself a man with a long and thicc c♡c-

You: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, DONT CARE!!!

You: yeah, I cleanse my house every week or so

Megumi: that’s cool, but why?

You: you never know; there could be dark energies left behind by visitors

*yuji walks into the room*

Yuji: what’s up guys what are you- what’s that smell? I can’t breathe! It burns my skin!

You: hmmm, it’s that demon of yours

Megumi: wow, you weren’t lying

Gojo: nah Megumi, you don’t love her…

Megumi: …that’s none of your business mop headass

Gojo: that’s foul 🥺

Megumi: look…I love her so much that…just looking at other b*tches it makes me vomit

You: Satoru! Where’s the formula?

Gojo: Formula? I ain’t no Mr.Krabs. Go look for it somewhere else, Plankton.

You: No, you dumbass! The baby’s powder milk!

Gojo: Ohhhh, I thought you feed the baby boobie milk?

You: …Satoru…please Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

Gojo: Hehehe, boobie milk(*≧∀≦*)

Gojo: What a lucky baby we have

You: if you want, we can watch the moon

Megumi: *looks at you and smirks* Nah, I prefer seeing you naked on my bed…

You: *shocked* Megumi! Where did all this confidence come from?

Megumi: I don’t know…wanna find out?

You: fuck, it’s so hotttt…

*nudges choso gently*

Choso: *snores softly*

You: why does he have to sleep so close to me? uugghhhh…

You: *looks at him and smiles as choso snores softly* ughhh he’s too damn cute

Choso: *moves slightly closer and grabs your waist* don’t push me away, darling *says in a sleepy voice*

You: It’s just that; your body heat is really hot, choso

Choso: *pulls away from you* okay, just wait.

*sits up and pulls his shirt off and tosses it somewhere in the room*

Choso: there, better? *cuddles close to you*

You: *blushes* uhhh, yeah

Choso: good, now go to sleep *kisses your neck softly*

Nanami: Excuse me, I gotta use the restroom.

Gojo: ooo, me too. I’ll go with ya :)

*In the restrooms*

Gojo: so, are ya gonna piss or shit?

Nanami: You do see me going to the urinals, right?

Gojo: so???

*Nanami proceeds to unbuckle his pants and do his business*

Nanami: *looking straight* Gojo? Where are you?

Gojo: R-right here *rises hand*

Nanami: *looks next to him and sees Gojo sitting on the urinal* What the Fuck!! What are you doing??

Gojo: What else would I be doing? I’m taking a shit.

Nanami: *disgusted* Uhhhh, I-I’m done.

You: come on, pls (＞人＜;

Sukuna: No!

You: ughhhh!!! Please!!! I’ll suck the living outta ya, daddy!! _:(´ཀ`」 ∠)

Sukuna: Bitch! You’ll suck the living outta everything!You depressing ass hoe!

*3am in the night wide awake*

You: Psss, Megumi? *nudges him* Hey, sea urchin head *whispers*

Megumi: Mmm? What? *rubs his eyes* what is it, are you okay?

You: Yeah, I’m good…

Megumi: …then why did you wake me up? *overall confused and annoyed*

You: *sits up and crosses arms* why haven’t you drop the mascara brand name?

Megumi: *sits up as well and looks dead into your eyes* …hmmm, I don’t know…maybe if you weren’t so god damn annoying…maybe then I would’ve considered giving you the name of it…*smiles and snuggles himself back to sleep*

You: *completely shocked* …wow, just wow

Megumi: *mumbles* shut up and go to sleep…*pulls your arm towards him and cuddles close to you* p.s. I don’t wear mascara. I was just gifted with beautiful long lashes, thanks to my parents. *mockingly says*

You: Pft, whatever

Gojo: What can i say? i'm charming and irresponsible (;

You: Huh? Irresponsible?

Gojo: Shit, autocorrect (:

You:...Satoru, we ain't texting. We're talking face to face \:

Megumi: …so you’re still not gonna talk to me?

You: *looks at him and rolls eyes*

Megumi: ughhhhhh!!! Fine, you win!!!

You: *arches brow in confusion*

Megumi: …shit, I suck at apologizes, so…..unfuck you or whatever…idk, just talk to me; please (T . T)

You: *smiles and giggles softly* hahahaha, you’re such a d♡ck…. *pulls him in for a hug*

Megumi: *hugs you tightly and inhales your sweet aroma* I am a d♡ck.

Kenjaku: So, you wanna go out?

You: No. I don’t like you. You have stitches on your forehead, weirdo.

Mahito: What about me? I can turn into whatever you want me to be (＾ｰ^) I can even turn teenagers into Barney :)) I have experience.

You: Ewww no. I don’t date curses.

*Choso appears out of anywhere*

Choso: Oh hey-

You: Heyyyy, Choso!! Awe, you’re so cute. Of course I’ll go out with you <3333

Mahito: I-I thought you didn’t date curses?

You: I don’t. He’s like half human or something. Plus, look at him. He’s just so cute with his Doc Martens.

* Choso just standing there with a confused face*

You: Kento, here me out, okay?

Nanami: Hmmm?

You: A 3 hour makeout session.

Nanami: …

You: Wait, I haven’t gotten to the best part. Plus, inappropriate touching.

Nanami: *sighs and undos his tie*

You: …or not…

Nanami: I never said no.

You: No, I just can’t…

Nanami: Oh darling, but why not?

You:..cuz, I’m a virgin…

Nanami: *gently holds your chin up to meet his gaze* Baby, I know that you’re physically a virgin but mentally you’re a wh♡re.

-Chilly Saturday night : 10:58 pm

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♡'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

~~ So he just dumped you cuz you weren’t “pretty enough”?

muttered Megumi. He took notice of how you made yourself look smaller; you were sitting on the grass, holding your knees close to your chest as you sniffed away your quiet cries.

“ Embarrassing, right” you whimpered, as you looked at the moon.

Your glossy eyes made it difficult to view the beautiful bright moon; that was above you, illuminating both you and Megumi.

Megumi wasn’t the biggest fan of comforting people; he felt awkward, especially when it came to relationship problems. Yet, he was here with you trying his best to help you out with your problem.

“Look Megumi, I’m sorry that I had to call you here at this time. Just to talk about how shitty my ex boyfriend broke up with me.” you sighed.

Wiping away your tears with your sweater sleeve and trying your greatest to sniff away any visible boogers on you. “Here, take this.” Megumi advised as he handed you a tissue.

You glanced away from moon to his face. He had a sympathetic look; an apologetic smile. You gave him back a half smile and reached for the tissue. You looked away from him to blow your nose. “Thanks, Megumi.” you sniffed. Putting the dirty tissue inside your sweater pocket.

“Do you always keep a tissue with you?” you inquired. Megumi just gave you a small laugh and added; “Yeah, cuz you never know when one your friends ends up getting dump by their stupid boyfriend.” You chuckled at his remark and stood up from where you were sitting at. Megumi stands up as well and stretches his limbs.

“On a serious note, I’m truly thankful that you came here at this time to keep me some company and hearing me vent about my shitty ex boyfriend” you stated. Megumi looks at you and takes a couple steps closer to you. You just stand there; observing how he takes your hands into his.

“I will become the lowest person to exist but I could give two fucks. A simp.” Megumi let’s go of one of your hands; only to caress your left cheek. You blush at his actions; you always had a mini crush on him but you always disregarded your feelings towards him. Obviously, cuz you had a boyfriend and well, Megumi was just a good friend.

You guys look into each other’s eyes. “A simp? I don’t understand you, Megumi.” you gave him a puzzled look.

Megumi signs and confesses, “You are a pretty girl. Just by looking into your eyes, I can see the beauty.” You’re left speechless, you didn’t know what to say or what to do. You never thought this would happen, not even in a million years.

Blinking a couple times, you notice how you’re crying again. They’re not sad tears but happy tears. Megumi gently wipes your tears away and pulls you in for a hug. You hold onto his embrace; taking in his aroma. Tears falling on his sweater; but Megumi doesn’t care. He’s been waiting for this moment. He hated seeing you with that douche bag of your boyfriend. But now, that you’re no longer with him, he can finally get his chance to be with you. It might sound greedy and selfish of his part but like he said, “I could give two fucks.”

♡*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♡'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*♡

♡ ♡ ♡˚✧₊⁎⁺˳✧༚ ♡ ♡ ♡

Nanami: This is what that three hour makeout session gets you, pretty girl

You: ngh, I-I just can’t take it, Kento *struggles to take his pretty c♡ck*

Nanami: *caresses your left cheek* You have to take my c♡ck now, baby. Tryin to make you feel good and make you c♡m, you understand me, right?

♡ ♡ ♡˚✧₊⁎⁺˳✧༚ ♡ ♡ ♡

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Gojo: Baby, can I ask you a question?

You: Uhh, sure, what is it?

Gojo: Let’s say I would to get a mullet-

You: Oh God, I know where this is going

Gojo: Don’t interrupt me, please

You: Geez, sorry (￣^￣)

Gojo: Like I was sayin; If I were to get a mullet, you maybe, let’s say; call me Mullet Daddy?

You: •_•

Gojo: So? Would you? ;)

You: Ughh, no. Actually, you would look hideous with a mullet ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

Gojo: (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀) that’s rude

Gojo: Idk man, she’s been kinda distant and just aloof

Geto: Hmm, well… she’s probably sad my dude…

Gojo: Sad?

Geto: Yeah S.A.D. SAD.

Gojo: I know what Sad means but what should I do? Comfort her?

Geto: *smirks* Yeah. Give her a shoulder to put her legs on (;

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Fuccck, toruuuu” moaning as Gojo kept hitting your sweet spot, with your right leg on his shoulder. “Yeah, you like that, my sad baby.”

You: Kento, baby can I ask you a question?

Nanamin: Knock yourself out

You: (dreamingly saying) don’t you ever think or dream of your “Dream Job”?

Nanamin: (deadpan look) Honey. I don’t dream of labor.

-☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆ -☆

Nanami felt bad for the bad response so he ended up eating her kitty (΄◉◞౪◟◉｀) to make her feel better:)