Of What Does The Fetus Dream?

Of what does the fetus dream?

Ballpoint pen on a manila envelope

Los Angeles 2014

I drew this at work when my wife was pregnant with our first child.

Egon Schiele

ball point pen drawing in my moleskine

Tierra Mia Coffee, Echo Park, 2016

I love Egon Schiele. I made this drawing after one of his self portraits while sitting in a little cafe called Tierra Mia Coffee in Echo Park, Los Angeles.

Btw, Tierra Mia Coffee serves a Mexican Style Hot Chocolate that is perhaps the best hot chocolate on Earth. It's so delicious. Rich and creamy with little bits of chocolate. Seriously.

It's a nice place to draw too.

Here's another drawing I did that same morning.

Egon Schiele

pen drawing in my moleskine

Tierra Mia Coffee, Echo Park, 2016

Thank you Tierra Mia Coffee. I miss that place.

.

black sharpie on bond paper

San Francisco 2003

I spent Christmas 2003 with some friends in San Francisco. They lived in this big two-hundred-year-old house that sat on the prison grounds of San Quentin penitentiary. It's a long story actually but what I remember most was the bed. The guest room of the house had this large old four posted wooden bed frame with the softest thickest most wonderful mattress I have ever slept on in my entire life. I will never forget the moment when I laid down and sank into the loving folds of that luxurious mattress. I felt embraced by softness, and I fell asleep as if floating on a cloud.

When I awoke the next morning I was amazed at the time. I had slept through the entire night without waking up once. I felt wonderfully refreshed.

After breakfast I sat down with my sharpie and drew both of these drawings in a single sitting.

black sharpie on bond paper

San Francisco 2003

He's holding out on us

Sean, my son.

He asks a lot of questions.

"Daddy," he asked me, "are cemeteries frightening places?"

I never know exactly where his questions are leading to but I certainly know his mother is afraid of cemeteries so I said,

"Yah.." and waited.

"Then why," he asked, "do people cry instead of getting scared?"

"Good question." I laughed and looked for a piece of paper to write it down on.

Later he came up to me and asked,

"Daddy, why did God even think it was a good idea to create mosquitos?"

We live in the Philippines.

"I have no idea why God created mosquitos." I answered him honesty, "In fact," I said, "I bet even God doesn't know why he created mosquitos."

We both started laughing and he said, "I bet if you asked God why he created mosquitos he'd be like, 'Gosh, why DID I create mosquitos?'"

Sean was playing Roblox while we talked and laughed.  He can do that.  His little fingers ran over his iPad screen directing characters while he spoke.  Kid energy.  Then he looked up and asked,

"Daddy, who created God?"

I kid you not.

That is a question I've been waiting for without any plans for a good answer.

"Sean," I started, "That's a very big question.  No one really knows the answer."

"What?" he was astonished. "Can you look it up on the internet?"

"Nah," I said, "it won't even be on the internet.  Nobody knows who created God."

"Nobody?" he asked in disbelief.

"Nobody," I replied.

"Not even God?"

"Well," I said, "I suppose God knows who created himself."

"He should tell people!" Sean demanded.

That one made my sit back in my chair and look up for a moment.  Not gonna lie, I had to agree.

"He probably should tell people." I said, "But he's holding out on us."

"Humph." Sean said with no small amount of displeasure. 

And then he went back to his Roblox,

Calbayog City  2023

Random hotel

colored pencils on paper

Los Angeles 2019

I keep having this recurring dream. In the dream I'm looking for a home to live in. I'm always alone in an unfamiliar city. As I search for a home I have a tired lost feeling. And then I wake up and I remember that I have a home. It's such a relief.

The other Random Hotel

colored pencil on paper

Los Angeles 2018

Beautiful things

Black sharpie on beige paper

Rosemead 2012

"Dream pretty dreams of beautiful things,

let all the skies surround you.

Swim with the swans and believe that upon

some glorious dawn love will find you"

Townes van Zandt

This drawing just came out of nowhere. Like a mystical gift, one day it just happened.