The Funeral

The Funeral

It was the following Friday when Ethan and Jake attended Max's funeral. They had met many of Max's family members, though they didn't know them well. The arrangements were partly made by Carla, who required a high level of secrecy about the events that had taken place. She had arranged for the body to be placed in a closed casket without anyone seeing anything, and even bypassed the coroner so that no one would see what had become of Max. Ethan and Jake were trying their hardest not to think about that, though, as they couldn’t talk about it with anyone else at the funeral.

“It's so sad, what happened. I suppose a person wouldn't know they had some heart condition at his age,” a woman was saying. Jake wasn't actually sure who she was, but he acted like he did to prevent having to go through that awkward conversation when he really didn't want to.

“Yeah, it was pretty sudden,” he said. That much was true, even though the heart condition was fabricated.

“You and that other boy were his roommates, right? Is it hard, now that he's not in the house anymore?”

“Yeah, it is. It just keeps reminding us of him, so we’re having a rough time of it. Actually, we're planning to move. Everything here just is a bit of a painful reminder, you know?”

“Yes, I can understand that. Well, if you boys need anything, don't suffer in silence, okay?”

“Alright, thank you.”

Adrian was not at the funeral. He would have come, but he had decided to move away due to all the activity in trying to catch the original werewolf, which, unknown to the agents for now, was him. He didn't want to have any risk of being caught the next full moon. He was also Ethan and Jake's new roommate, so when they moved, they'd be moving in with him. They had all agreed that, under the circumstances, it would be best to live where Adrian went to college, that strange place where supernatural creatures were so commonplace they weren't even reported.

They continued interacting with the others at the funeral until nearly everyone had left, and the casket was lowered into the grave. Then they went home, packing their things. They had both put in their two weeks notice soon after Max had been shot, which meant they had to stay a bit longer still, but their landlord had been very understanding of their situation, so they were free to exit their lease agreement early – they only had to finish out the month.

Both of them were restless throughout the last week of work, not wanting to wait before leaving that place. Ethan had one last meetup with Andrew, who apologized again for his involvement in the whole thing. He gave Ethan a copy of his paper, which he had decided to write in an attempt at exposing the reality of the situation, and drew from early history to show that the modern conception of werewolves as dangerous was inaccurate.

“This is well-written, at least,” Ethan said. “I’m sorry we can't tell you any more about the organization, but I think it's better for everyone if we don't.”

“I understand. I don't think it would have helped all that much, anyway,” Andrew said. “The paper didn't do that well. The professor thought I didn't have enough modern sources to support the idea that werewolves were benign, and I couldn't exactly say ‘my cousin knows a werewolf'. Or knew, sorry.”

“I appreciate the thought, though,” Ethan said. They continued talking a bit more before Andrew ended up leaving.

Finally, the time came for them to take their packed cars to the road. Ethan was driving a moving truck with his car being pulled behind, actually, but Jake was driving his packed car. Ethan didn't trust Jake to drive a moving truck, and Jake didn't question him on it.

The trip was two days in total, the first consisting of about ten hours and the second eight hours before they crossed into their new home state. It wasn't immediate, but as they got a bit further in, they saw several supernatural creatures in the open. When they arrived at their new address, Adrian came out to greet them in a t shirt and jeans, and since it was part of the full moon cycle, he was in wolf form. It was odd to see him openly like that, but Jake noticed a woman with snake hair walking nearby, so clearly it was commonplace.

“Welcome, welcome,” Adrian said. “And again, thanks so much for letting me live with you guys. It'll be a nice change, I think.”

At that point, their fourth roommate came out of the front door, wearing a tank top and jean shorts, blond fur sticking out, and tail wagging behind him, though he seemed not to notice. He had the biggest, toothiest grin anyone had ever had as he ran towards them and hugged them before stepping back for a moment to greet them verbally.

“Welcome to Florida!” Max said. “How was my funeral?”

I have typically just ridden the wave and remembered that this is a cycle that happens, so it isn't that my work has gotten worse, I'm just in that stage of the cycle. Would love to know if there are better ways, though

Okay, Tumblr writers.

We all know how many, even most, of us periodically get maudlin about our work and our skills as writers and whether or not anyone even likes our work and what they like about it and whatever.

I am trying very hard to be less maudlin all over other people all the time, especially on social media.

So what are y'all's coping mechanisms for these periods? I'm in need.

The Epilogue: Carla

Carla had to do a lot of paperwork for this case. Most of it was fabricated. Some of it was fabricated with the help and permission of her organization, and some was fabricated by her without the knowledge of her organization. For example, the death certificate for Max was fabricated by her organization, standard practice in most cases. But the “use of equipment" form was filled out incorrectly, despite being for internal use.

They made their own bullets, and the materials were often expensive. Silver, specifically, was not cheap, so they discouraged its waste by requiring an account of how many silver bullets were used and whether or not any were recovered. Carla reported the use of one silver bullet, and that bullet was in fact gone. However, it had never been shot. A copper bullet had. They were easier to fudge the numbers on, as they were purchased. But they would count the silver bullets to verify her report, so she had left one silver bullet in that open space park somewhere. Someone might find it, sure, but it was mostly a novelty. She had other things she was worried about.

She was good at her job, right? She hadn't ever had someone get away. And it wasn't just werewolves, she'd dealt with a few other creatures in her time. And yet, despite the large amount of paperwork that said otherwise, Max had evaded her. Had been let go. What he'd said stuck with her, eating at her mind.

When she had been captured, she hadn't hesitated to join this organization. She'd been hunted by some awful person for who knows what reason, turned into a werewolf against her will, and here was an organization who could take away the werewolf curse. Turn it into something she chose. And on top of that, she'd be helping capture or kill those werewolves like the one who bit her.

But Max wasn't like that. He wasn't even like her. He hadn't chosen to be a werewolf, but he wasn’t bitter about becoming one, either. And he made her think. Max seemed to be a decent person, despite being a werewolf.

She had been a decent person, too, those six years that she had been a werewolf. She had never attacked anyone, never bitten anyone. She'd only tried to evade capture. She hadn't been a danger, and it seemed Max wasn't, either. If Max was to be believed, the werewolf who turned him was decent, too. She was having second thoughts about her job. The job she wasn't ever allowed to quit.

It was quite the pickle. But for now, until she could figure out what to do about these new feelings, she would have to continue her job as normal. And finish the paperwork and cover-up for the Max case. And she had every confidence no one would ever know that she had let the kid go.

After all, she was good at her job.

----

This is a little teaser on a companion to the novella. It is started, it is mostly figured out, but it is not done, and it is not the current project. It is also not lighthearted. It showcases the more serious and dark aspects of the world I created, including the dark underbelly of the organization Carla works for (who'd have guessed they were baddies, right?). If you liked Werewoof Undies, let me know! If you hated it, how'd you get this far! If you have suggestions for generalized improvements to my writing, let me know, if you have fanart PLEASE let me see it, and if you have any questions, feel free to shoot them my way.

Thanks for reading!

Losing the Love:

The evolution of stoic men, from Big John to Alpha Males

Toxic masculinity encompasses a lot of things, but one of the things it holds up as an ideal is Stoicism, defined as "the endurance of pain or hardship without the display of feelings and without complaint". This has been an accepted aspected of masculinity for generations, though of course there are exceptions, and we are in the process, societally, of deconstructing toxic masculinity. But Stoicism, I think, has an interesting trajectory when you consider how it has changed. It has gotten MORE toxic over time.

I don't know when Stoicism became the accepted norm for all men. What I do know is that there are a lot of older country songs that showcase stoic men. Sad ballads, mostly. Often featuring a Mysterious Stranger archetype, which is a rather stoic archetype by nature. Songs like Mr. Shorty, Tall Handsome Stranger, and Big John all feature these. Their portrayal, however, is noteworthy.

Take Big John as an example. Big John is a large, strong, silent, stoic man. And he's not from around here, he's a bit of a mysterious stranger. People only know rumors about him. And people are intimidated by him - "Everybody knew you didn't give no lip to Big John". It's implied he doesn't care about these people he works with - "And if you spoke at all, he just said, "Hi"" - people don't know him and he hasn't tried to get to know them. And the rumor, the one thing people know about him? He killed a man with one blow. But what's interesting is that even though he doesn't say much and doesn't show much emotion, he does actually care. He was fighting over a "Cajun Queen", but when he killed a man, he must have left because he might have faced charges for murder otherwise. And then, of course, he holds up a collapsing mine to save his fellow miners, to their surprise. They thought they were dead, until John solo lifts the collapsed beam to let them out. Now, they got out, and John didn't. He LITERALLY shouldered a burden without complaint to save them. This shows that he cared enough to save them. But he died himself. What a good stoic man, never showing any emotion. Other features of John are that he cared about others, and was stoic for their sake, and that this Stoicism is viewed as a sad thing. When they put a marker for John's grave, all they put is "Here lies a big, big man: Big John". The only other things they knew about him were rumors. They didn't know him personally except to recognize that he was strong. And his death is a tragedy, obviously. So it's this unfortunate stoicism. He doesn't get the girl, doesn't have friends, dies alone. It's a romanticization of stoicism, because he is a good guy for saving everyone, but it's sad because it destroyed him. It's not viewed as healthy for John at any point. And the other people in the song, who show emotion, are not demonized for it. Big John isn't better because he's stoic. He is a hero because he could and did save people. The stoicism is set dressing for a sad story to make it sadder.

Eventually, though, it became less about being stoic FOR other people, and more being stoic because it's bad to be emotional, then bad to have emotions. The difference? "I will shoulder your burdens, even if it kills me" is like a tragic heroicism, as in Big John's case. "I will make sure to shoulder everything so that you don't think I'm weak and deny me masculinity and a place in this society that prizes a certain kind of masculine person above all other people" has no love in it. It has no purpose. "Boys don't cry", in theory, should be about being the strong, stable influence in a situation where someone needs to be that. In practice, it became about being an emotionless gargoyle so that you don't lose status. Big John shouldered a burden so that everyone else could live - that is noble, heroic. If overapplied, it is harmful to the individual, but sometimes someone needs to be practical, stoic. Anne from Persuasion fills this role after Louisa hits her head. Despite this being an entirely appropriate time to be emotional, someone had to be practical and set their emotions aside to properly handle the situation. Anne fills this role, showing less emotion about her sister in law but making sure she was able to receive medical attention. In modern toxic masculinity, this purpose-driven stoicism is not what is held up as ideal. Instead, emotions are put down as weak and unrespectable. This helps no one, and instead harms the individual for no reason. This is more the Alpha Male version of stoicism.

Alpha Males (and Sigma males, their emo cousin) are somewhat of a pinnacle of toxic masculinity. For them, stoicism is fundamental to manhood, and means not only not showing emotions, but not having them. They shoulder burdens, not to lift them off of others, but to prove they can. For them, stoicism is a matter of pride. It means they're better than everyone else, because they aren't infected with a feminine trait: being emotional. Yep, there's the sexism. Being feminine? Bad. Because men are better than women, of course. So they manage to avoid all POSITIVE feminine traits and make themselves worse in the process. Emotions, falsely labeled feminine, are among these. This still harms the Alpha Male, even as it harms others. So rather than dying to save twenty men, they harm themselves so they can put down and demean others.

So stoicism isn't a bad thing in every situation. Constant stoicism is unhealthy, stoicism shouldn't be enforced with social punishment, and emotions aren't bad. However, saving others or helping others out is a good thing. Big John should probably have been less stoic most of his life, but he was a tragic hero for saving those men in a stoic way. Alpha Males have the worst possible version of stoicism. And the main difference, in my opinion?

The love has left stoicism. It used to be that the stoic man would save others, cared about people. Now caring about people is viewed as a bad thing. It used to be that you couldn't show emotions. Now you can't have them. It used to be a sacrifice, now it's a point of pride.

Counterpoint: Joel and Ellie, the Stoic Accidental Dad archetype. This is a modern thing that goes back to the older version of stoicism in some ways. The Stoic man, probably morally grey or an antihero in some way, accidentally becomes a foster parent to a child. Accidentally starts caring. At its best, this gives the stoicism its love back. Now they shoulder burdens for this child. Now they don't show fear or sadness so that the child can believe everything will be okay. Still, perhaps, not healthy for the individual, but it has a purpose. It shows the love of the stoic.

Sanc and Rowan

This is how Werewoof Undies came to be