*crying,

*crying,

screaming,

shaking,

throwing up,

puling out my hair*

it’s normal to have a huge crush on really like a 20+ fictional grown man right?

Bro did not just make a YTP

Southpark.AVI

Pairing: Male Y/N x Randy Marsh

Warnings: nsfw, gay, gay men, 9/11

Notes: I think this is really good so like & follow

One day I was on my $2000 gaming PC watching gay furry porn when suddenly I got an ad for a bizarre South Park episode. The ad was Randy spreading his hairy cheeks; I hit the jackpot! You know I clicked on it. It then took me to a website called “SlutPark.com” filled with many vile videos. Yummy! One of them had a thumbnail with the same image as the ad so I clicked it harder than the first plane hit the Twin Towers. The video started with a disclaimer that apparently this was a never seen before episode that was too explicit for television. The episode started with Randy in his room. He was slowly taking his clothes off. Once he took everything but his underwear off, it then cut to CARTMAN GETTING FUCKING DIED WITH A KNIFE BY SONIC.EXE OH SHIT! That was scary and turned me off! Hopefully Comedy Central will sue whoever made this into poverty. The fuckers behind knew many others like me find Randy really hot and would fall for this but it’s not my fault!

After that, the episode cut to Stan at a dinner table. He heard loud moaning noises. It then revealed that it was Randy jacking off to a photo of me Irl. That’s when I realized I had a chance. I used my #y/n powers to go through my screen and find Randy. Randy kissed me on the lips. His wife then walked in. She was more shocked than when I found out that Chris Chan just got bailed out of prison.

“Randy! How could you?” She screamed.

“Y/N is hot and sexy and I don’t love you anymore!” Randy exclaimed.

Randy was right and packed his bags and bought us a condo on the beach and we had 2 cats, no a hamster, and we got married. That’s really it. I don’t know what else to say. Go away now.

“Do you say this shit to other people? I don’t think that I could.” - Lizzo, “Coldplay”

I’m convinced Andre puts mind control bs in that ice cream cuz that’s the same man that literally tries to ruin your day every time you even speak to Cat Noir