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I know unicorns in modern media are kind of relegated to cutsie, MLP, rainbow plastic toys, or shitting rainbows, 'lets go to candy mountain' but man. I WISH more fantasy media would put them in unironically. There is so much symbolic and narrative potential in a creature that is, depending on your mythology:
A guardian of wild spaces, the embodiment of nature untouched by mankind's industry and greed. Fewer and farther between.
The ideal of "Purity" made manifest, elusive and powerful and hunted for fruitlessly by many a person. To kill. To actually kill. Living symbol of the oh-so-coveted Purity, not treated as a sacred thing to protect, or even predated for food to survive off, but a trophy for knights and lords to boast about.
So absolutely fierce and deadly that no one smart dared to fight it fairly. A gentle maiden had to betray it into resting in her lap so that a man could spear it while its guard was down.
Able to heal any wound no matter how severe - it promised miracles, if you could find one.
A creature who's magic vanished if it was captured or killed. In trying to take control of it, you destroyed it. Some things can only be given by free will, and no amount of personal desire or brute force can change that.
Hello!!!! No one gonna talk about this???
Southpark.AVI
Pairing: Male Y/N x Randy Marsh
Warnings: nsfw, gay, gay men, 9/11
Notes: I think this is really good so like & follow
One day I was on my $2000 gaming PC watching gay furry porn when suddenly I got an ad for a bizarre South Park episode. The ad was Randy spreading his hairy cheeks; I hit the jackpot! You know I clicked on it. It then took me to a website called “SlutPark.com” filled with many vile videos. Yummy! One of them had a thumbnail with the same image as the ad so I clicked it harder than the first plane hit the Twin Towers. The video started with a disclaimer that apparently this was a never seen before episode that was too explicit for television. The episode started with Randy in his room. He was slowly taking his clothes off. Once he took everything but his underwear off, it then cut to CARTMAN GETTING FUCKING DIED WITH A KNIFE BY SONIC.EXE OH SHIT! That was scary and turned me off! Hopefully Comedy Central will sue whoever made this into poverty. The fuckers behind knew many others like me find Randy really hot and would fall for this but it’s not my fault!
After that, the episode cut to Stan at a dinner table. He heard loud moaning noises. It then revealed that it was Randy jacking off to a photo of me Irl. That’s when I realized I had a chance. I used my #y/n powers to go through my screen and find Randy. Randy kissed me on the lips. His wife then walked in. She was more shocked than when I found out that Chris Chan just got bailed out of prison.
“Randy! How could you?” She screamed.
“Y/N is hot and sexy and I don’t love you anymore!” Randy exclaimed.
Randy was right and packed his bags and bought us a condo on the beach and we had 2 cats, no a hamster, and we got married. That’s really it. I don’t know what else to say. Go away now.
“Do you say this shit to other people? I don’t think that I could.” - Lizzo, “Coldplay”
Oh my gosh. This is worth the watch. I have nothing but love and respect for this woman.
Oh my gosh. This is worth the watch. I have nothing but love and respect for this woman.
“Blood For Blood”
Chapter 4
Pairings: ABO!ot.7 x omega!Reader
Warnings: mentions of death, grief, and an abusive relationship. Slow burn I KNOW but the heat will be coming next chapter👀
Word count: 6k
Synopsis: You are better off alone. That’s what you’ve told yourself for the past 13 years, living off a food source that has dwindled with each passing season. But when you hunt down a buck on someone else’s territory, you invite the attention and compassion—however unwanted both of them may be—of a rising Alpha. Determined to remind you what it is have a family, he makes a decision that could very well end his position as Alpha no sooner than it’s begun. The funny thing about staying in one place, though, is that now you’re forced to relive the nightmares you spent so long running from. And along with them come the memories of a debt that demands to be paid in blood.
This is my original content. Please do not repost or modify in any way!
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Your eyes opened at the same time your lungs filled with air, sending you upright with a jolt. All around you the forest was ablaze, great tidal waves of heat and embers, consuming everything in its wake. A sea of magma flowed above you, cloudless and barren save for the plumes of smoke carried on a hot wind.
But the ground beneath you was unsinged, as if the flames would not dare approach you. For a collection of moments, your mind was clouded in a haze, your eyes falling upon your body as if seeing it for the first time. All the wounds had closed up, but the blood remained; and as you stood, it trickled down into the earth. It was then you saw them; the runes he’d carved. And at the center were four stakes hammered into the ground; exactly where he’d tied you, his sacrifice. Bait to summon ancient, terrible magic.
Keep reading
Zuko is telling his grandchildren the story of how he and Katara fell in love.
Zuko: It was love at first sight.
Katara: You called me a peasant.
Zuko: I saved her from the pirates.
Katara: Seriously?
Zuko: I wrote her a romantic haiku about how she rises with the moon and I rise with the sun, and told it to her at dawn in a spirit oasis.
Katara: You blasted me into a tree!
Zuko: We had a date in a cavern lightened by crystals.
Katara: We were prisoners of Dai Li.
Zuko: Then we were separated for a while. I always thought it was because she had problematic relationship with her emotion...
Katara: WHAT?
Zuko: When we reunited she visited me at night.
Katara: ZUKO.
Zuko: A while after that we hugged at sunset.
Zuko: Of course, my sister had some troubles accepting her.
Katara: ...
Zuko: In the end I had to take a lightning for her.
Katara: At least you got something right.
You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.
Please for the love of the gods, please never stop, this is art!!!! I love everything in this this, the words, the gestures, the personality that distills every character is ungodly, Please please this is perfect!.
To all who read my reblog, please support this kind soul that has blessed us with this short story.
I hope the best for you!!! ❤️
Ody Does Math
“Good morning, teacher.” sang the kids, faces radiating vitality.
Indeed, it was a good morning. You can hear the larks chanting in the forest, oak leaves whispering secrets of the wind, and see the open fields bathing in the blazing sunlight casted by Lord Helios. Every bit of this scenery was calling for your attention.
But now is not the right time for that. Commented Athena, in her mind. Now is the time for their math class, and none of them can escape this fact.
So she simply nodded to their greeting. So far so good. She gave a quick glance around the classroom. Odysseus, her favorite student, seemed rather eager for the class. He’s doing good as always, Athena thought. Eurylochus, on the other hand, seemed quite unsettled. Curious. Is it because of his homework? Athena wondered. And as she set her eyes on the next student, she called:
“What are you doing there, Mr. Polites?”
She could see his panic alright. But soon as Polites reclaimed himself she heard him say: “Sorry, Ms. Athena. I was just trying to pack this bag real quick.”
“What for?”
“Er, Ms. Athena…I don’t suppose this is the right place to say—”
“What for, Mr. Polites?”
He sighed. “It’s for a friend of mine, really. Today’s his birthday.”
As he finished, Athena caught a glimpse of the mild blush on Odysseus’s face. It wasn’t hard to figure out what exactly was happening here, but she merely said:
“Well, in that case, I might as well congratulate this friend of yours with a ‘happy birthday’. Hope he gets to be a valiant warrior, a warrior of the mind. And yes, you may sit down, Mr. Polites.”
As everybody settled on their seats, Athena quickly chalked a line of Greek on the blackboard. It reads: ΣΤΟΙΧΕΙΑ ΓΕΩΜΕΤΡΙΚΑ (Elements of Geometry). As soon as she finished, she said:
“Welcome to today’s math class, everyone. We’ll begin with a discussion on a simple problem in your textbook. Now, please turn to page 43, and evaluate the problem quickly. I’ll ask for your ideas in a few minutes.”
It’s not hard. Thought Odysseus. Just some simple geometry. You draw a perpendicular BC at point B with half the length of AB, and…
“Mr. Eurylochus, if you may?”
Eurylochus’s hesitation was all written on his face. And his silence was loud enough to speak for his cluelessness. I should help him. However, it’s not my turn. Thought Odysseus.
Athena apparently noticed something. “Mr. Odysseus, if you may?”
“Yes ma’am. You need to draw a perpendicular BC…now we have an auxiliary right triangle ABC, right? Draw an arc with center C and radius BC intersecting the hypotenuse at a point D. Then draw an arc with center A and radius AD intersecting AB at a point, say E. Now E should be the golden ratio point.”
“Good job. Now prove it.”
”Prove it?” now it was Odysseus’s turn to hesitate, but he hoped that he didn’t show it. However, Athena was quick to pick up something…else. “Well,” he started, “all I gotta do is…huh, what’s this bag for?”
A look at Polites was sufficient to explain everything.
“Mr. Polites! You seem quite eager to hand the present out, I see. Why don’t you give Mr. Odysseus a hand, by proving this point E to be the golden ratio point as he claims?”
Polites was eager, alright. He stood up swiftly, and said, “May I have a chalk, Ms. Athena?” After a moment Polites finished the proof on the chalkboard, saving the day. Then Athena complimented both Polites and Odysseus, and the class moved on.
But Eurylochus was uncomfortable with the compliment that Odysseus had received. Geometry is his strong point alright, thought Eurylochus, but let’s just wait till we get to arithmetics.
…
And soon they got to arithmetics. But there were only 10 minutes left for the class. So Athena decided to give a little quiz.
“I have a challenge, a test of skills.” said Athena, “the problem is, are you all ready for it?”
All nods. Ok. “Then let us begin by introducing a geographic fact. This is Troy, 600 miles away from us if you travel by sea. Now suppose that a ship travels at a speed of 5.755 miles per hour without the wind, and it is heading from Troy to Ithaca in full speed, and when it is 2.8 miles away from Ithaca it takes a turn to Temesa, sailing through 290 miles in total, and from there to Aeaea 158 miles away. Suppose the ship sails in a uniform speed, without any wind. How long does it take in total?”
Odysseus could see their expressions clearly. He could see Eurylochus busy doing the calculations, which wasn’t a surprise at all since he was so good at it. I could use a good right-hand man like him. Odysseus thought. And let’s see how Polites is doing. He seems to be struggling with it, which is not a good sign…
But what are you doing, Odysseus?
He had no idea. To be honest he haven’t even figured out how a decimal point works, but he’ll do it anyway, after all he’s a warrior of the mind! What do those miles add up to? 420? 420 divided by 5.755 is…730, right? Wait that 730 looks so familiar…isn’t that twice as long as 365 days? My goddess, that’s a really long time!
“Mr. Odysseus, what’s your answer?” From afar, he could hear Athena calling to him. But this time, there is no more hesitation. He had found his confidence. He knew his result to be true, though somehow he doubted the validity. But he’s gonna answer it anyway, knowing that had it been wrong, the fault was not his at all, but Athena’s. She provided the data, didn’t she? So nothing can go wrong. Just you chill, just you stand, just you answer.
”Ma’am…it’s two long years.”
