Perpetual-enjine - My Gentle Arsonist - Tumblr Blog

Hawks: Hey All for One, are you single?

All for One: Yes, will you go out with me?

Hawks: Ew, no.

All for One: Then why did you ask if I’m single?!

Hawks: So I can make fun of you. Obviously. What did you think was going to happen?!

Enji and Rei just being friends after their divorce

Hawks: You’re not gonna believe what Enji did today.

Jeanist: Oh my god, tell me.

Hawks: So last time I made fun of his stupid car. And he said next date he’d pick me up in a more suitable vehicle.

Jeanist: And he showed up in a fancy muscle car?

Hawks: A garbage truck, Tsunagu. He pulled up in a fucking garbage truck to pick me up.

Jeanist: …

Hawks: I love that man.

unmute

Shinsou: Tell Endeavor you love him or turn yourself in.

Dabi: Where are the handcuffs?

Should've sent shinso to fight dabi, man does NOT shut the fuck up

Hawks: You burned my wings, so I fucked your dad.

Dabi: HOW is that a fair exchange?!

Hawks: You’re right.

Dabi: So you do see reason.

Hawks: That’s two wings. I need to fuck him again. Enji? Enji, sweetheart?

Dabi: SON OF A BITCH

[david attenborough voice] despite the clear size difference, the small mate is the dominant one who looks after and protects the larger mate and their brood.

the face hawks makes after eating out enji

Shouto: Dad, I’m dating Shigaraki.

Endeavor: What?!

Shouto: (deadpan) We want to get married.

Endeavor: WHAT???!

Shouto: Just kidding, I failed math.

Endeavor: So then why are you giving me a heart attack?!

Shouto: (still deadpan) I was worried to tell you, and I asked for Midoriya’s advice. He told me to start with something fake and really bad so that math would seem inconsequential.

Deku: (panicked) I didn’t mean THAT level of bad! You’re nuts, Todoroki!

Shouto: (still deadpan) Runs is the family, Midoriya.

Toga: Sad Man’s Death Parade!

Endeavor: One-Armed Man’s Wicked Left Hook!

Toga: Well fuck.

Hawks: A troll, an incel, and a pervert walk into a bar.

All for One: And?

Hawks: And the bartender asks, “Your usual, All for One?”

All for One: What the fuck?!

I’ve just realized 😂 that typically Hawks keeps his wings fairly relaxed when not using them

But then in a bunch of panels where he’s in front of Enji…

He’s preening by showing off his wings. Take this how you will lolol 😆

Enji is dedicated to taking things slow with Hawks. Until his hand slips a little too low and he finds out about the tail feathers. Anyone’s sense of self-discipline would have broken at that point. Honestly.

———

Finally a new endhawks fic

All Might seems quite interested too 🤣🤣🤣

This picture cracks me the hell up because A) Enji, who the hell let you wear that outfit and B) Hawks is fighting for his little gay life trying to look anywhere except that bulge 😂😂😂😂😂

Hawks:

day 10, you know what it is!:

so i'd revisited chapter 245 and was tickled to see that endeavor locks himself away to read the book hawks gave him, like, immediately after receiving it.

(and he regards it so awkwardly after hawks leaves. "okay" what, my guy?)

yeah, he suspects something's off right away, but he only starts wondering if hawks couldn't communicate freely with him once he's already chillin in his office (there are doylist drawing/paneling-related explanations behind this, but the watsonian result is just so funny and good!). so, what, he hadn't even thought "this must be very urgent" or "hawks needs my help" when he beelined to his office, without explaining anything to anyone, and left his interns (and Very Important son) waiting for him? a guy he knew for maybe a cumulative day and fought beside once reappears acting weirder than before (but he's always weird, right?) and enji tunnel-visions on his book recommendation?

it's emphasized that he literally has more pressing things he has to do, but nope, hawks was out-of-sorts so now we have to be on the case for what, among the bajillion explanations, could possibly have been the cause. (since the last time they spoke, endeavor expressed his concern about hawks investigating the nomu, so he is primed to be a little extra worried. but that fact, believe it or not, still does not help beat the allegations.)

a shapeshifting villain attempting to impersonate hawks wouldn't have made it 10 seconds in front of this guy, istg. enji really stumbled head-over-ass into his first decent acquaintanceship with someone (who happens to be oppositely but equally as emotionally immature as him) and stumbled out of it lowkey obsessed and with an eternal soul-bond or something, i dunno.

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

Shigaraki: These heroes are so unserious. Look at Lemillion.

All for One: Reminds me of the time Jeanist pantsed me.

Shigaraki: Wait, for real? Is that why you almost killed him?

All for One: That’s exactly why.

Got you an Endeavor to go with it

people in fanfiction are so good at identifying v specific smells. I literally struggle to identify vanilla when I’m sniffing a candle labelled “VANILLA” how are these kids getting woodsmoke, rain, mint, and a whiff of byronic despair from a fuckin tshirt

new trope alert i guess

Let’s just all agree that he randomly did it in the bathroom with kitchen scissors when he was super drunk, he regrets it and is growing it out

As much as I wanna hear your opinion on how my hero ended, I desperately wanna know how you feel about Aizawa's haircut

WHAT THE FUCKKKK

SCREEA,MING G WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM-

All for One: Now that I’ve monologued at you for half an hour, are you impressed by my greatness and totally infatuated with me?

Hawks: One, the only man I am infatuated with is Endeavor. He is wonderful, and brave, and, regardless of your regeneration, still hotter than you.

All for One: Oh.

Hawks: Two. You are a pathetic self-absorbed sadist whose only claim to fame is torturing other people for nonsensical goals.

All for One: Oh…

Hawks: Three. I was just stalling for time, you are an idiot, and Endeavor is standing right behind you.

Endeavor: Knock-knock, who’s there? It’s Prominence Burn.

All for One: Oh, shit.

He stepped on Bakugou and exploded

the fact that throughout all 430 chapters of my hero academia horikoshi didn't show a single glimpse of deku's dad is the funniest thing he ever did. he was never important. we can make up whatever fate we want for him and nobody can refute it. i propose that he stepped on a landmine and exploded

Op MeowMeow

I actually like it!