Mha Chats - Tumblr Posts

Tsukauchi: Hello, Endeavor? Can you get either Hawks or Jeanist to answer their phone?

Endeavor: No. They’re sitting in my hot tub with my son Touya and loudly singing Bad Romance, and I am REALLY not comfortable interrupting that.

Tsukauchi: Seriously? You couldn’t come up with anything more convincing??

Endeavor: (puts him on speaker and steps outside)

Jeanist, Hawks, Touya: I WANT YOUR LOVE AND ALL YOUR LOVER’S REVENGE

Tsukauchi: Understandable, have a nice day.

Tsukauchi: You two look like shit. What the hell happened last night?

Jeanist: What happens in Endeavor’s hot tub…

Hawks: Stays in Endeavor’s hot tub.

Shouto: A face only a mother could love.

Touya: Yeah, cause she sure as heck ain’t loving yours.

Shouto: You’re so obsessed with Dad it’s pathetic.

Touya: You literally refused to use the entire left side of your body because it looked like him, and I’M obsessed?

Shouto: You’re an amateur, and your Prominence Burn sucks ass.

Touya: …you…

Enji: You’re both impressive in your own way, I love you equally, and I wish you’d stop hurting each other because neither of you deserves any more pain than you’ve already experienced.

Touya: What the fuck, dude?

Shouto: DAD??

Enji: Ahaha! I win at therapy! I’m the number one patient! No one can stop me!!! I HAVE CONQUERED MY MENTAL ILLNESS! TAKE THAT, PTSD!!!

Rei: All three of you need to be locked up. Like, right now.

Jeanist: What the fuck is going on here? Did I miss something?

Miruko: Well, All Might challenged Endeavor to wear fewer clothes than him to the gala, so now Endeavor is wearing his fire and is fully clothed with no clothes, All Might is in a bikini cursing the world, and Hawks is trying to find a fire extinguisher.

Jeanist: And no one invited me to the competition??

Miruko: THAT’S what you got from this??

Rei: Aw, who is that sexy snack- oh wait, ew, that’s just Enji from the back.

Enji: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Shouto: Oh my god, divorced people humor is THE CRINGIEST.

Jeanist: You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite Lady Gaga song.

Hawks: Pokerface.

Jeanist: Donatella.

Endeavor: 911.

Hawks: Oh Enji…

Hawks: Enji, I would like us to wear a matching costume for Halloween. And before you cuss me out, please, just keep an open mind…

Endeavor: Is it Sponge Bob and Squidward?

Hawks: How the FUCK did you know??

Endeavor: After years of loving you, I have finally cracked the code. Plus, we did Colonel Sanders and Chicken Nugget last year.

Hawks: You are the loveliest man in the universe. I adore you with my entire being.

Endeavor: You’re cringe, but I love you so much I don’t care.

Shouto: God, please, why am I here?

Shouto: I need that iced coffee. This morning, I walked in on my mom doing something absolutely vile and disgusting.

Deku: Was she cheating on your dad??

Shouto: I wish.

Deku: Was she… WITH your dad?

Shouto: No, she was doing a tiktok dance!

Bakugou: EEEWWWW!!!

Hawks: Hey Endeavor, I found All for One’s real weakness!

All for One: What, my support mask?

Hawks: No, you idiot. You come up with all your insults in advance! Endeavor, he can’t improvise!

Endeavor: Hey All for One! When you were born, your mom said, “I didn’t order a meatball!”

All for One: Why you…

Hawks: Ahaha, I was right!

All for One: I’m just gonna have to kill you.

Hawks: LO-SER!

All for One: I’m gonna take Hellflame.

Endeavor: You’re gonna take the L and a fourth-degree burn.

Hawks: (narrating later) And then he took the L and a fourth-degree burn.

Enji: Someone clogged the drain AGAIN! And I’m gonna see if the hair is red or white!

Shouto: Ha!

Natsuo: Why are you laughing, dumbass? You’re gonna get blamed either way.

Shouto: Oh.

Enji: …It’s a feather.

Natsuo: Stop bringing YOUR STUPID BOYFRIEND!

All for One: You probably have avian flu.

Hawks: Bro, you ARE flu. You are one giant germ.

Endeavor: Prominence burrrrrn 🤣

Touya: Oh, you think you’re funny? Make a joke.

Shouto: Dad’s attention.

Touya: I don’t get it.

Shouto: Of course you don’t 🤣

Touya: Son of a-

Shouto: …Endeavor?

Touya: Okay, you’re funny.

Rei: I think my husband is gay.

Best Jeanist: Oh my, that’s a twist! But I’m gonna need some proof.

Rei: See, watch. Enji? Jeanist and I are gonna shop at (wink wink) the lingerie store.

Endeavor: Have fun. Make sure to choose cotton, synthetics are bad for you.

Rei: Enji, I’m gonna go on a date with All Might.

Endeavor: Cool, bring me some takeout.

Rei: Enji do you wanna have sex??

Endeavor: I have to review my agency’s revenue stats, can this wait?

Best Jeanist: Okay, he’s gay.

Mineta: Okay Midoriya, if you had to go on a date with an old man, who would you pick? And don’t say All Might!

Deku: Endeavor.

Shouto: Say All Might. SAY ALL MIGHT RIGHT NOW MIDORIYA!!

Mina: I am going to blackmail all three of you with this video.

All for One: (regenerates and turns into a child)

Endeavor: 🔥🔥🔥

All for One: 🥺

Shouto: Bwahaha you think that’ll work on my dad? You absolute buffoon.

Endeavor: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Shouto: Flashfire Fist - Child Abuse! Plus Ultra!

Endeavor: Oh my god, Shouto, stop.

Shouto: Okay, carry on.

Shigaraki: Everything that comes out of your mouth is stupid.

Bakugou: Shigaraki.

Deku: Oh man, he fucking slayed you!

Bakugou: Deku.

Deku: Oh come on!!

All for One: I can’t look cool if I’m naked.

Hawks: Skill issue. Endeavor looks very cool when he’s naked.

All for One: What?

Endeavor: Hawks.

All for One: How do you know that?

Endeavor: HAWKS.

All for One: Are you guys, like, together?

Endeavor: Let’s get back to fighting!

All for One: No-no-no, I wanna hear this.

Endeavor: HAWKS!!!

Bakugou: What did I miss?

Jeanist: Edgeshot went inside your body, and Lemillion showed Shigaraki his ass.

Bakugou: I should have stayed dead.

Deku: Please, stand down, you can still be saved!

Shigaraki: …

Jeanist: He killed Katsuki.

Deku: I hope you like the taste of earth because that’s gonna be your last meal.

Shigaraki: Wait, what?

Deku: I’m gonna strangle you with my thighs and use your fugly bitch body as a floss for my ass crack while you’re dying.

Shigaraki: W-what?

Deku: I’m gonna strangle you like your parents wished they had, you pathetic little finger fungus. Come here, you disgraceful puddle of garbage juice. It’s time to face god.

Deku: Where are you going? You’re stuck here with me, you miserable meat factory. I’m gonna chop you up and put you in an air fryer.

Shigaraki: All for One, please pick me up.

All for One: I can’t, I’m in an air fryer!

Endeavor: Damn right you are!!

Shigaraki: We are fucked.