Mha Spoilers - Tumblr Posts

To be deep or silly in today's MHA thought, that is truly the question. I missed yesterday, and it's late, which usually makes me philosophical, but I can't get this thought about the OFA vestiges out of my head so maybe they'll end up combined, who knows?

Lizzy's MHA Ramble of the Eve: How long could the vestiges of OFA see what Deku saw??

Like we see as early as season two that they're boogieing creepily in the background during the sports festival arc, but we don't ACTUALLY meet them until around season five, I think? The way Yoichi talks to Deku in that episode with the first flashback, it makes it seem like they've been monitoring him for a while. Plus, when Banjo meets Izuku, he talks like he's been watching the fight. So it seems like they've been watching him for a bit at the very least.

All that to say, can you imagine how unsettling that must've been for him to come to the realization that seven people have been watching every single thing he's done for the past year. I don't know about y'all, but I appreciate my privacy. Obviously Izuku is not an introvert like me, but still, I don't think anyone would appreciate knowing seven people can/potentially have been watching them every moment of the day.

Anywho, I totally think at least a few of them took to yelling at him like a dad at a football game on TV. Do you think they like, placed bets on what he'd do in certain situations? Or whether or not like, Bakugo would use a particular insult on someone? I like to imagine it'd go something like this:

Banjo: Ten bucks says Bakugo calls him a shitty nerd today.

Shimura: We literally don't have money in here, why would anyone take you up on that?

Yoichi: (Playing magical mind-scape Uno or something, idk, with Kudo or Bruce) Besides, he's getting better! Izuku's said so himself.

En: Midoriya would still sing Bakugo's praises even if he set his own mom on fire and did it while screaming "Deku is a fucking moron!!" I don't think Midoriya's opinion is ever valid when it comes to him.

Hikage:...my money's on damn extras.

Shimura: Again, we don't have money, we don't even eat, what the hell are you betting with??

Banjo: Look, there's only so long we sit ominously on our fancy little thrones waiting for him to figure shit out before we start to loose our non-existent minds, let us have this.

I don't know what this is or where it came from, but I've been thinking about Yoichi a lot lately as I compile my thoughts/rambles about him and All for One for a later post, so I think it was born of the little threads that didn't fit in anywhere else.

I sent this to my brother because he’s the one who got me into MHA, and I’d like to reenact our conversation for everyone.

Me: *send the picture*

Bro: YES PLEASE

Bro: Stupid meme heroes

Me: If I were saved by someone named the Rizzler I’d just do throw myself back at the villain

Bro: What if the hero was also named the sizzler

Bro: *Rizzler

Me: Then I’d just find a cliff

And I’d have no regrets, Deku was really out here doing the Lord’s work by keeping those names off the streets.

The frustrating thing about MHA having fantastic heroes and villains is that you want the heroes to win, but also, you want the villains to, but they can’t both and, like, hm, but the villains are kinda in the wrong morality wise but they have some solid points–and mostly you just think they’re cool–but you love most of the heroes just as much and I want my son to be so happy since that’s what he deserves and it’s…a lot. Mixed emotions. Lots of feels. I just want everyone to succeed.

See this is what happens when I don’t sleep at night.

Honestly, I have yet to read/see a solid AU where the villains win, but most of the heroes survive and we get to see the world under their control. How is this a solution to the aforementioned problem?? I have no idea, I’m still figuring that part out. I’d imagine it’d be dark, but as long as it’s done right I might be okay with that.

Anywho, I need a nap. Maybe the solution will come to me in my dreams.

Someone explain to me why this is what made it really hit that Tomura is dead.

you ever think about how spinner stares at shigaraki's gaming profile that reads "last online: 8 years ago" hoping it will show that he's online again?

because i just saw that on tiktok and i'm actually not okay!!!

Today’s MHA thought is brought to you as I watch the livestream of the Wisdom Saga from Epic the Musical. Go take a listen, I’m sure it’s gonna be great.

Honestly I have no transition into today’s thought so we’re just gonna move along here we go.

Lizzy’s MHA thought of the night: Yoichi and All for One’s relationship and why I think it’s brilliant.

Let it be said, All for One is a fantastic villain. I think he’s well written in the sense that I absolutely, positively, HATE him. He is an absolute asshole and he has very little reason to be. Does he have a tragic past? Ehhh, kind of? But I would argue that he started screwing people over in the womb, so I have a hard time feeling bad for him when it kinda seems like a lot of his issues were his own doing. But that’s why I like him, because he doesn’t have that super sympathetic backstory and he doesn’t have much of a reason to be an asshole other than “I want to win and see people suffer :D”. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a sympathetic villain (see my posts on Touya and Toga) but I also love to see a villain that is just evil for the sake of being evil.

However, I don’t doubt that he probably has some kind of personality disorder, plus he did have to entirely raise himself, and if we pile the theory that quirks influence personality on top of it, you don’t get a pretty picture. It’s an interesting look at the nature vs. nurture debate in a world like this. It was a perfect storm of genetics and circumstances that made All for One, a terrible turn of events to be sure.

And yet, despite being twins, Yoichi doesn’t turn into a psychopathic maniac. It’s honestly wild, and a kind of psychological circumstance that fascinates me. And, let's be honest, it's not out of the realm of possibility that AFO is partially to thank for that. After all, he took care of Yoichi like, straight out of the womb. However, what gets me more is their relationship.

It’s messy, it’s toxic, and it’s a little weird, but it’s so unique because we rarely see it done like this. It’s codependency at its worst, more so on All for One’s side, though he’d never admit that.

It really begs the question, why? Why was All for One SO obsessed with his brother? By all accounts, his brother only ever stood in his way and screwed with his plans. He was a hindrance, even when they were kids, so why keep him around?

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. I think a part of it is Psychological Reactance (which I talk a bit about in my post on Toga), basically, it’s a common reaction in humans when you tell them they can’t do or have something. It’s often rooted in control, we don’t like to loose control of anything, and so we automatically act out to make sure our control is preserved. It’s emotional and behavioral, and we know All for One LOVES his control just as much as he loves his quirks.

And you know what else he loved? He loved Yoichi, and in a way he could never love anyone else. And maybe Yoichi loved him too, I think he did, but he loved him enough to tell him he was utterly wrong even when his brother wouldn’t listen. So, here’s this one thing he genuinely doesn’t want to loose because it’s the one thing he can never replace and it wants to leave?? Excuse???

Here’s what I think, I think Yoichi was the only thing he ever really lost control of.

Yes, I think his twisted sense of love had a part in him chasing his brother across generations, but I also think All for One could not handle the idea that he lost control of something he actually cared about.

We see in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs that our most basic needs above physical are relational. Family, friends, safety, belonging, those aren’t things that are plentiful when you’re a dictator. Yoichi was there with him from the beginning, he fulfilled that need in some capacity.

We’re all afraid of losing things, especially those we love the most, it’s human nature. No matter how powerful you are, you can’t substantiate real human connection.

The day All for One lost Yoichi was the day he lost the only genuine relationship he had, it’s not surprising he spent the next few centuries trying to get it back.

…

I had fun with that one! Imma do one one Yoichi one of these days, because I love him and he deserves it, but for now I’m gonna go enjoy the Wisdom Saga and plan out a little Yoichi one shot I’ve had bouncing around in my head for a while.

I felt like being emotionally destroyed today, so I watched the dub of episode 151 of MHA. I don't know what it is about Izuku's face when he comes careening out of the sky like a fucking warhead and sees the state of the fight but it gets to me every single time in both languages. He looks positively haunted and it makes me want to cry, my poor son. Anywho, to recover, I decided to go rewatch 136 and 137, which are my favorite episodes of the entire goddamn series and I realized it's high time I do a little rant about them.

This is mostly for me because, again, I don't have anyone to rant about this with and I have got to get these emotions out of me somehow, but I hope someone else finds it enjoyable!

Welcome to Lizzy's MHA Evening Ramble: Why MHA episodes 136 (Deku vs. Class A) and 137 (A Young Woman's Declaration) are what really show us the impact Izuku has had on the people around him (specifically Class 1-A).

Honestly, I don't have much science to back up this post. There's not really a psychological reason behind why these episodes slap, but they do and I'm gonna talk about it.

You see, for better or for worse, everyone in Class-A has a different and unique personality. That much is obvious, I know, but that also means each of them have different things that impact them. Think about it, what means a lot to one person doesn't so much to another.

And yet, despite that, every single one of them had something to say to Deku. Every single one of them. For some of them, it was as simple as helping them organize their notes. For others, it was something he said or did that has followed them through the entire show.

"Meddling where you don't technically have to is the essence of being a hero, right?"

Izuku said that one time to Tenya. One time. But that, accompanied by his actions that night, became the corner stone of what Tenya strove to become.

They all voted to go after Izuku–not even voted, they all just got up and went. No second thoughts, no questions, they just went. They literally slapped a GPS out of Endeavor's hand so they could find him. They were not about to take no for an answer, not even from Izuku himself. It's insane, honestly, that one person managed to impact a group so deeply they'd risk everything to bring him back to their class.

I think a lot of the time, we think of difficult or unhealthy relationships as those where you give and give and give and the other person refuses to the same. No one really tells you what to do when someone you love dearly is giving so much it's hurting them, but they refuse to receive. It's an odd situation, but one I love seeing explored.

Could they have just let him go on his own? Fight by himself because that's what he wanted? Yeah, they totally could've. But they didn't, because they knew if the roles were reversed, Izuku wouldn't have thought twice about hunting them down. They weren't victims, they didn't want to be protected, they wanted to kick ass at his side.

They didn't do it out of heroism or even necessity I'd argue, they did it because that was their friend and they'd be damned if they let him suffer alone.

Still, despite that, Izuku wanted to protect them and he was so, so scared to lose them. It makes sense, in a sad, twisted way, that he would rather keep them locked away behind a wall and fight alone than let them stand at his side. He was haunted by the shit the people around him went through because of Shigaraki and AFO. It's far easier to blame yourself for things than it is to admit that it wasn't your fault and, sometimes, nothing could've done would've changed the outcome. I have no doubt it would've felt like he killed them himself if he went back and something happened, and the thought of that was far more terrifying than any threat to his own person. Of course he wanted to fight alone, he didn't want to fathom the possibility someone else would get hurt because they were around him.

But that wasn't for him to decide.

Sometimes, we forget a relationship goes two ways. It was dangerous for them to be there, sure, but that was a choice they made. A choice they wanted to make. They couldn't make him let them help, but he couldn't make them go away either. I have no doubt that if he got away that day, they'd have followed him to the ends of the earth until he gave in.

It's also easy to forget Izuku is just a kid. He's sixteen, barely in high school. Ochaco says as much when she pleads with the crowds to let him in. Her voice cracks as she begs this group mostly made of ADULTS to let a boy rest inside the walls of his own school. He probably doesn't physically know how to deal with these kinds of emotions yet (the frontal lobe, responsible in part for our emotional reactions to situations, doesn't fully develop until around 25/26, and even then research suggests it's never really fully done). It probably makes perfect sense to him that the best course of action is to be alone, even if it seems stupid to us.

We all need support at any age, but especially during those teenage years. Those are vital years of development as the mind develops and starts to take shape. Izuku has been beaten, traumatized, and terrified, it's no wonder he seems to be making such irrational decisions.

No kid should be carrying the weight of the entire goddamn world on their shoulders at that age and, of course, no one could've predicted that AFO was going to accelerate the process and force Deku to face him, but that doesn't make it any better.

However, that's the great thing about having friends, families, and partners, they come alongside you in those times and help you navigate this crazy new situation. They pick up the things you can't handle because they want to. Sometimes, they just stand next to you. Sometimes you have them lean on you for support. And, sometimes, they shoulder up next to you and carry you for a bit so you can catch your breath.

Because that's what you'd do for them.

Whenever I watch these episodes, I'm reminded of that scene in Lord of the Rings where Frodo thinks he can't go on and Sam says, "I can't carry the ring, but I can carry you!" I think this has similar vibes.

They couldn't carry One for All, but they could carry Izuku, and they were determined to do at least that.

An Exercise In Futility

(This is a snippet of a little one-shot I've been working on between assignments about Yoichi and AFO because I've been inspired by several works about them recently. It's set in a semi-alternate world where Yoichi has a terminal lung condition and hasn't quite realized that his brother is a complete psychopath on the rise to power yet. They are brothers, but AFO (named Hisashi here because I got tired of just writing him as 'brother') is a few years older than Yoichi in this piece. I don't think there are any necessary warnings yet, maybe just talk of terminal illness and potential death, but there will be later if I post the rest of it. So, for now, enjoy!)

...

Futility was a funny word, one Yoichi was well acquainted with, even at the ripe age of sixteen. 

Maybe that was because it was one his brother, Hisashi, had been fond of. He had a habit of slipping it into half of the monologues he went on, the ones that made Yoichi’s eyes glaze over and his mind wander. When he was younger, he used to keep count of how many times his brother slipped it into conversation. He stopped as soon as he reached the two hundreds and realized the word wasn’t going anywhere like some of the others had. 

“It’s just an exercise in futility, brother,” He’d say. “Look at them, they don’t realize how useless their struggling is.” 

And then Yoichi would smile and nod as he sat on the edge of his brother’s massive desk and kicked his legs, wondering if he’d ever be tall enough to reach the floor. He’d learned growing up with Hisashi that the man rarely wanted his actual opinion, just an ear to listen as he ranted about the state of the world. Yoichi was good at that. It was the least he could do for his older brother, his sole caretaker after all.

But more likely than that, it was because he heard it a lot at his practitioner’s office, not to mention at the plethora of specialists he’d been dragged to over the years. It was funny, his brother never seemed to like it coming out of anyone else’s mouth but his own. The look on his face when the doctors told him over and over again that there wasn’t anything that could be done to cure Yoichi, just make him comfortable, wasn't an expression Yoichi wasn’t particularly fond if.

"It's pointless, I'm afraid." Was how one unfortunate doctor had put it. His brother had immediately dragged him out of the office, glaring the trembling doctor over his shoulder. Apparently, the specialist had gotten his medical license revoked soon after and Yoichi never saw him again.

After that, he’d learned to tune the medical staff out too, staring at the floor as he swung his socked feet back and forth over the edge of the exam table like he did at home as his brother took in every word the medical professionals spat at him.

To be honest, he saw the visits as more of a formality than anything these days. For all his talk of futility and his supposed knowledge of the subject, Yoichi’s brother really didn’t seem to comprehend it when it came to Yoichi’s condition. He was dying, all the quirks in the world couldn’t prevent that, but he just didn’t seem to get it. It was almost like he expected Yoichi to live forever, which was ridiculous even for him. Still, the way he spoke of the future made it seem like he saw himself at the top of the world, with his sickly little brother at his side until time came to a stop and the world just...ceased to exist.

But, based on Hisashi's current attitude, he'd probably expect he could just change that with the snap of his fingers too.

It was exhausting, honestly, but at least with his brother getting busier and busier at the office he’d been able to wheedle his way into going by himself–and by that he meant getting dropped off at the hospital and wandering the halls for an hour while his appointment was supposedly happening, then going to the receptionist and setting up a “follow-up” appointment, which he’d cancel as soon as he’d shown his brother the card. A part of him felt kinda guilty for the deception, but the rest of him was just tired of being poked and prodded every two weeks before being told the same things over and over again.

And that’s where he was today, making his slow but steady laps around the hospital while he waited for his “appointment” to finish and he could go home.

(Part 2)

Every few days I remember that MHA is technically over and we don’t have very many episodes of the anime left and then I stare at a wall and wonder if I’m gonna cry about it or not.

It feels like a silly thing to cry over, it really does, especially as a grown ass adult, but it’s a story that kind of…grew up with me. I was a teenager when I started it, and I’m an adult now as it’s finished. It feels like a reminder that my childhood has truly come to an end, that nothing goes on forever but sometimes I wish it would.

Like, logically, it can’t go forever, and I think if it went any longer with the existing story arc it would probably start to severely deteriorate, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to miss seeing my son every week on Saturdays.

There will always be other stories to dive into, all with their silly fandom shitposts and weird ass ships, but this one holds a special place in my heart as one that saw me grow up and become a semi-functioning member of society.

…But we still have a few episodes left, it’s not time to get sentimental yet or I will not be able to stop.

An Exercise in Futility (Part 2)

Not entire sure where I plan to go with this, but the pen calls to me and who am I to deny her?

(Part One)

Some days Yoichi felt good enough to take the stairs, but unfortunately the awkward shuffling alone was already proving too much. After the second time around, he’d been forced to plop down in one of the puffy, plastic chairs and catch his breath. In his mind, he could hear his brother scolding him for pushing himself, but he knew his struggles probably had more to do with the fact he’d neglected his morning medications and therapies. Soft coughs rocked his chest, and with a trembling hand he reached up to rub it.

To be fair, he had fully intended on continuing any prescribed treatments at home when he’d started skipping appointments–it was one of the only ways he could convince himself to go through with the lies–but after a few weeks the piles of pills and heavy masks had seemed less and less appealing. 

So he’d just…stopped.

Thankfully, his brother hadn’t seemed to notice yet. The last thing he wanted was another freak out and hospital stay like he’d had earlier in the year. The scars on his chest still ached whenever he thought of the incident, urging him to rub over the freshly healed marks. Hisashi hated that particular habit of his, resorting to physically pulling his hand away whenever he did it within view of the other. Yoichi was never sure why the scars seemed to bother Hisashi more than they did him, but he’d stopped wearing the low cut, loose shirts he’d favored after he caught his brother staring at the thin, white marks with that look on his face one too many times.

Yoichi didn’t remember much of the most recent scare. He’d been in bed when it’d started, chest aching as it often did, and he’d gotten up to get some water. The next thing he knew, the toilet was painted a deep shade of red and Hisashi was at his side, gripping him like if he let him go he’d just disappear as he screamed through the manor. The rest of it was a blur, but the several months he’d spent in the hospital afterwards were burned into his mind forevermore. The wailing machines, the constant surveillance, and the lack of freedom to when pee by himself made him shutter more than the pain ever did.

He’d never say it to anyone out loud–least of all Hisashi–but after the last incident, he’d told himself that if it were to happen again he’d just let himself go. 

Yoichi didn’t want to die, per say, but he didn’t want to live either, especially not like that.

Being sick was exhausting. 

His watch buzzed, drawing him from his thoughts. Lifting it, he found Hisashi’s name displayed across its face. 

The car is waiting outside when you’re done, don’t forget to have the receptionist give you a copy of the notes from today. 

Yoichi smiled wryly, sending a little thumbs up and an “almost done!” for good measure. He sat for another minute or two before easing himself up from the chair and shuffling over to where his favorite nurse, Helga, sat behind her station. She smiled as he approached, grabbing a pen out of its holder, an appointment card at the ready. He smiled back, giving a half-hearted wave.

“How’s my favorite nurse today?” He rasped, leaning against the edge of the station for support.

Helga giggled. For a seasoned nurse well into her career, she had the laugh of a middle-schooler who’d been approached by her crush. “Yoichi, baby! It’s good to see you! How’re you feelin’? Your appointment go okay? You here for my autograph again?” 

“Sure am,” he quipped, “got the pen ready for me?”

She nodded, “you know I do. Whatcha got for me today?”

“November 18th, at 2PM.” He replied easily.

“You got it.” She was already neatly transcribing the information onto the little piece of cardstock. “I keep telling you the lovely lads and ladies over in Dr. Millard’s office would be happy to write this down for you, baby, you just gotta ask when you make the appointment.”

“Sure, if I actually made an appointment, I’m sure they would.” He thought to himself, instead choosing to say. “Yeah, but then I wouldn’t have a reason to come see you, would I?”

“You don’t need a reason to see me, baby, you know that! I’m always happy to say hello to my favorite patient.” She hummed, neatly signing the bottom of the card with a little flourish and a smiley face. “But there you go, I’ll see you in two weeks, okay? Oh, well, hm, no maybe I won’t…”

Yoichi’s heart jumped a little, but he swallowed his panic and smiled. “Oh? Why not?”

“My actual baby is getting married! We’re traveling up north for the wedding, so I’ll be out for a few weeks, but like I said, everyone else would be more than happy to help you!”

Yoichi nodded, pulling his lips into a little smile as he resisted the urge to sigh. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Helga left for good. There was only so long he could use the “I lost my reminder card” excuse with the other staff. Eventually, someone would look him up in the system and realize that his last actual appointment was six months ago and he’d canceled every single one since. Then they’d call Hisashi, since his older brother was technically his legal guardian, and all hell would break loose.

Yoichi couldn’t risk that, he was already pretty sure his brother was starting to suspect something–Hisashi always had been frustratingly good at reading him–so Yoichi had to make sure he had no reason to do so. Next time he’d have to bite the bullet and actually schedule a real appointment, then cancel it as soon as he’d opened the reminder text in view of his brother. That was usually enough to quell any suspicions Hisashi had.

He thanked Helga, wishing her the best and congratulating her on her kid’s marriage before making his way down to the ground floor and out the door.

An Exercise in Futility (Part 3)

(I'm wondering if I should just bite the bullet and post this on AO3 when finish it because it's already at like 4k words and I don't think Tumblr can handle that 😅)

Part One, Part Two

The sky was a deep, gloomy gray, bathing the world in a thin layer of rain and ice. The resulting cold hit him like a block of ice to the throat, drawing several prominent coughs from deep in his lungs. 

Thankfully, he didn’t have to tolerate it for long. Hisashi’s black sedan sat just under the awning, shielding him from the downpour that had started not long before his pretend appointment. Wrapping his arms around himself, and sped over to the car and hopped in the back seat, hacking quietly into the back of his hand. The leather of his seat was already pleasantly warm when he got in, it was almost like climbing into a preheated oven. It waved away the cold, shoving it out as Yoichi yanked the door shut behind him.

As he reached up to grab his seatbelt, he found himself fumbling with the strap. Despite only being in the elements for a total of ten seconds, he was still trembling, cold eating away at him as he drew his oversized coat a little tighter around him.

His hand was still plastered over his mouth, flecks of discolored phlegm coating it. He resisted the urge to groan at the sight of it. Reaching into his pocket, his heart froze as he was met with just fabric. After a few seconds of patting frantically, it dawned on him that he’d left the one piece of medical equipment he’d continued to use on his bathroom counter that morning. He didn’t have time to panic, however, as an inhaler was pressed into his shaking hand. He jumped, eyes widening as he looked up to see Hisashi staring at him with that special kind of intensity he gained when he wasn’t sure whether or not Yoichi was in danger.

“H-hey–” Yoichi managed, his weak attempt at a smile devolving into a fit as he doubled over, spitting up a particularly thick piece of mucus out into his hand. 

Hisashi shook off his loose grip on the inhaler and instead brought it to Yoichi’s mouth himself and using his free hand to brace the back of his brother’s neck. He paused his wheezing just long enough for his brother to administer the inhaler, holding his breath for several consecutive seconds to let the medication do its job before he exhaled again. Hisashi, however, wasn’t satisfied until he’d taken two or three more inhales and was no longer actively choking on his own oxygen.

Yoichi took a shuddering breath as his brother leaned over and secured his seat belt while he recovered. He frowned down at his hand, sticky with phlegm, and started rooting around in his bag for a kleenex or some form of tissue. He was already off to a bad start, he didn’t need Hisashi seeing the faint speckles of what was probably blood on his hand.

But, for better or for worse, his brother was already on top of it, handing him one of the fancy handkerchiefs he kept tucked into the pockets of all his suit coats. Yoichi cringed as he dirtied the soft, silky piece of fabric, but he did feel a lot better after cleaning the sick off himself. Strategically folding it, he shoved it into the pocket of his coat before turning to face his brother with an actual smile.

“Hi!” He croaked. “I didn’t know you were coming to get me today.” 

Hisashi looked him over slowly before answering. “I realized you neglected to bring your inhaler after you left and figured it would be better if I brought it myself. I also wanted to be sure you got the notes from the doctor this time, since you always seem to forget, little brother.”

Yoichi’s heart started beating a little faster as he smiled, sheepishly replying. “Yeah…I guess I do that a lot, but can you blame me? They always tell me the same thing every time, it’s not like I can’t remember it long enough to tell you.” He straightened up, adjusting imaginary spectacles on his nose and began reciting. “BP–118 over 79, 80 BPM, FEV1–62%–”

“Only 62%?” Hisashi interrupted as he turned up his nose. “That’s rather low, even for you.”

“Shit.” Yoichi thought. He must’ve mixed up the numbers from before he had his last hospitalization. Thankfully, a lie sprung into action before he’d even finished panicking. “Yeah, the doctor said that’s normal since it got cold all of a sudden, nothing to write home about, but obviously he’ll check on it again next time.”

Hisashi hummed, and Yoichi tried not to fidget under his brother’s gaze. After a few uncomfortable seconds, his older brother let out a quiet sigh and gestured for the driver to take them home. Yoichi resisted the urge to sigh as well, instead blowing a few strands of white hair out of his face as he tucked his legs under himself. A quiet ding from Hisashi’s phone drew his brother’s attention, but with his free hand he took a travel mug out of the cupholder and handed it to Yoichi. 

The sleeve was still hot, warming the tips of his fingers as he cradled it to his chest. He gave it a little sniff, catching a faint whiff of mint. Taking a cautious sip, he found the liquid to be pleasantly warm, as always. He would’ve liked it to be a little hotter, but alas, he had taken a while to get settled, so it was his own fault really. Leaning back against the seat, he tucked both his legs up to curl into a ball on the seat. Hisashi glanced over at him, eyebrows pinched. Yoichi smiled, waving as he took another sip. 

“Thank you, brother.” He hummed. “It’s perfect.”

Hisashi nodded, looking back at his phone as he held out a hand. Yoichi stared at it for one second, then two, but his brother didn’t say anything, just crooked his fingers. After a few more seconds of nothing, Hisashi leaned over the middle seat without breaking his attention from his phone and reached into Yoichi’s coat pocket, rummaging around. Coming up empty handed, he leaned even further to dig into the other pocket, pulling out the reminder card. Yoichi let out a quiet “ohhh” before taking another sip of his drink, watching his brother right himself and bring the piece of cardstock back.

 Hisashi’s eyes jumped from his phone to the card, back to his phone again. The corners of his lips turned down ever so slightly, and he held the card a little closer to his face, squinting at it. Yoichi froze, drink halfway to his lips. He frantically tried to recall whether or not he’d missed anything. Helga was always incredibly thorough, but could she have forgotten a detail? No, there really weren’t any details to miss, so what could’ve set his brother off?

“Breathe, Yoichi.” Hisashi said absentmindedly before setting the card down and picking up his inhaler. 

Yoichi sucked in a sharp breath, sitting up straight. “Sorry.” He waved away the offered inhaler, “s’ fine, I don’t need it.”

Hisashi held it out anyway, gesturing for him to grab it.

Yoichi couldn’t hold back his sigh, but resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “really, big brother, I’m fine, it’s just a little cough–”

“Yoichi.” Hisashi narrowed his eyes, cutting him a look as he pushed it a little further. 

The message was clear: “Do it, or I do it for you.”

Yoichi swallowed, shrinking away as he cradled his drink to his chest. The two brother stared at each other, but the younger knew he’d already lost. Face twisting into a frown, he thrust out his hand with palm up. Hisashi let out an airy chuckled, setting the device in Yoichi’s hand and gently closing his fingers around, giving them a little pat. Yanking his hand back, he shoved the inhaler between his lips and took in a dose. Holding his breath, he slowly counted as the medication sat in his lungs.

Hisashi watched on, waiting until he was sure Yoichi had actually administered it before he spoke. “I’m coming with to your next appointment, I have some concerns that I want to address with your practitioner–”

“I can do it!” Yoichi jumped, practically spitting the drug back out as he clambered to sit up straight. “I…what are you concerned about?”

“That was only five seconds, little brother.” He scolded. “You’re supposed to hold it for ten. Try again–”

“–But–”

 “Now.”

Something about his tone made Yoichi want to stamp his foot, but he settled for a half grunt and the eyeroll he’d suppressed earlier. He was well aware he was being a little pendulant, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. However, another stern glare from his brother had him obediently taking another shot of his inhaler, folding his arms over his chest as he gestured for his brother to speak while the medicine went to work.

Hisashi drew his answer out another few seconds before he replied. “I don’t like how tired you’ve become lately. I can barely get you out of bed in the morning and half the time you’re back in it before the sun sets. It can’t be a normal side effect, and if it is, then it’s time to change medications. Not to mention, your coughing is getting worse, don’t think I haven’t seen the blood–Yoichi Shigaraki do not open your mouth prematurely again, let me finish–or heard you tossing at turning at night. It's excessive, and I’m no longer confident in this specialist’s ability to treat you. But, I want to see their incompetence with my own eyes first before I move you elsewhere…”

Yoichi’s heart sank. He thought he’d been doing well at keeping the harsher side effects of his illness hidden, but he understood he should’ve known better than to expect Hisashi to be oblivious to his declining state much longer. Honestly, it was a full-blown miracle he’d been able to carry on with the deception as long as he had. And, to think, it wasn’t even the staff who gave it away, it was Yoichi’s own negligence in continuing his treatments.

“There’s a new doctor here in Japan I’d like to get you into actually. I began vetting him during your last…visit, and I think he may be just what you need to see some improvement–”

“What’s the point.” The phase slipped out before Yoichi even realized he’d been thinking it. 

In fact, he didn’t know he had said it out loud as he let his attention drift out the window, eyes tracing the raindrops as they trickled down the glass. They were approaching the manor, having just passed through the oversized gates that guarded the estate. Honestly, they were less of guards and more decorations. Hisashi had said so himself, apparently the official who had lived there before them had a wife that adored the delicate white columns and glassy beading, however impractical it was. Still, despite proclaiming its uselessness, his brother kept them for some reason. Yoichi couldn't fathom why, his brother was always so practical, and they were just big, pretty, ornately designed pieces of metal that would probably tip right over if you pushed them hard enough.

Just like Yoichi.

“…what did you say?”

I absolutely love MHA, no doubt about that, but sometimes I really need to NOT THINK ABOUT IT like a healthy functional adult.

Today for instance, I had to take a Chemistry exam today and the entire time I’m trying to count significant figure and remember wtf the difference between a solution and a compound is my brain is just – IZUKU MIDORIYA IS THE NINTH WELDER OF ONE FOR ALL, A CRYSTALLIZATION OF POWER, IT’S NO SURPRISE HE’S THE MOST IMPORTANT ASSET IN THIS BATTLE.

…like I get that one Instagram reel you saw yesterday set it to some jazzy music and the line is cool as hell but COME ON can we please focus.

An Exercise In Futility - Part Four

(My college chemistry class decided to kick my ass these past few weeks, so I haven't had much time to write, which sucks, but whatcha gonna do? Finally got to sit down and go to town with this one, so I hope a few people enjoy!)

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

TW: Suicidal Ideations and Terminal Illness

-

“…what did you say?”

And there it was, the reminder that Yoichi had, in fact, actually uttered the very thing he’d sworn to keep a secret to the only person he’d never wanted to tell. The car rolled to a halt in front of the house, but Yoichi couldn’t even wait until it had fully come to a stop before he was unlatching the door and jumping out. Hisashi’s panicked squawks were drowned by the pounding of his own heart. He made for the front door, leaving behind nothing more than a muttered, “nothing, sorry,” to placate Hisashi’s demands for an explanation.

Throwing the door open, he barely made time to kick off his shoes before speeding down the hall to duck into his room and yank the door shut behind him. For a moment, he considered dragging a chair in front of it, but he knew there was little that would stop his big brother should he decide that he was coming in, least of all a tiny chair.

Looking around his room, a wave of exhaustion hit him and he let himself wilt like the sad little flower he was. The room smelled stale, even though he’d just been there that morning. The curtains were half drawn, letting in patches of gloomy light to catch on the dusty floor. Yoichi couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt up to vacuuming…or really anything other than a simple tidy…and it showed. 

His jacket slid right off his boney shoulders and landed in a heap on the floor. Shuffling over to his bed, he faceplanted, wriggling forward to bury himself under one of the many blankets piled on his bed. He knew Hisashi would be along momentarily, he never was one to let things go, but for a moment he just wanted to pretend everything was fine. 

Because it was. It was fine. Eventually, he wouldn’t have to do this anymore.

“Yoichi.”

He jumped, just slightly. He hadn’t even heard the door open, but Hisashi probably hadn’t even bothered to open it. Grabbing the edges of his comforter, he dragged it further over his face until the only thing he could see was darkness. Maybe, just maybe, if he stayed completely still and silent Hisashi would think he fell asleep and leave him alone. 

No dice. A quiet sigh echoed through the room, footsteps padded closer before the bed dipped next to him and a hand settling on his back. Yoichi curled further in on himself, pressing the blanket over his face to muffle his sniffling and dab at the tears with the corners of his eyes.

He wasn’t even sad, per say, just offput that he’d blurted his biggest secret like it was nothing. He was pretty sure his eyes were just leaking because they didn’t know what else to do. He wasn’t upset, but his back hurt and his lungs ached and the room was altogether too loud and too quiet, and Hisashi was mad, he could tell, he didn’t need to see him, and, and…

Two hands slid under him, pulling him from his stupor to realize that he’d started to full on sob, tears rolling down his face. Hisashi hefted him up, blanket and all, cradling him close like he’d done when Yoichi’d had one of his many emergencies. He used to do it when they were kids too, long, long ago when they were forced to wander the streets, constantly on the lookout for their next hot meal. Yoichi was never able to move fast enough to satisfy his brother. He always tried, but was left gasping and panting within minutes. Even at a young age, Hisashi had always indulged him briefly before doubling back to heft his younger brother into his arms with a wry smile on his face. If Yoichi didn’t know any better, he’d think that his brother enjoyed being forced to carry him, like he sped up just to tire him out quicker.

But Hisashi wouldn’t do that. Hisashi wanted him to get better, not worse.

“Yoichi.” 

More minutes had trickled by, lost forever in Yoichi’s mind, and he really had to come back down to Earth now. Hisashi’s grip on him was borderline uncomfortable, and he had taken to lightly shaking his brother while feeling his forehead. Yoichi squirmed, nose scrunching into a frown. Hisashi let out another sigh, relaxing his fingers just slightly as Yoichi opening his eyes. Hisashi eased him up and Yoichi tried to scoot to sit beside his brother, but he still wouldn’t relinquish his hold.

“Yoichi. Talk to me.”

Yoichi shook his head, mumbling. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“There most definitely is something to talk about. You seem to be under the impression that there is ‘no point’ in pursing your good health, and that is an egregious falsehood I intend to correct right now.”

Yoichi folded his arms over his chest, determined to bore a hole in the carpet with his gaze. “Will you put me down if I agree to tell you?”

He could his Hisashi frown out of the corner of his eye, but set the cocooned Yoichi delicately next to him on the bed. “…Was it that doctor? Is that why you’ve been so sullen lately? Did he tell you something? Yoichi, if he told you something about your health I need to know.”

“He didn’t.”

“Yoichi–”

“–that is my name and you are wearing it out–”

“–what did he say to you? Or was it that nurse that always signs your cards? I never liked her, the way she spoke to you was so incredibly unprofessional, I’ll speak to her superiors–”

“Helga didn’t say anything. The doctor didn’t tell me anything, Hisashi.” Yoichi snapped, throwing the blanket off himself. “He hasn’t told me anything for months. No one has.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because I haven’t been going.” Yoichi shrieked, jumping to his feet, the blanket falling from his shoulder. “Because I haven’t gone for months.”

“Why–?”

“Because it’s stupid and pointless, I’m stupid and pointless, and before you ask no one had to tell me that! I’m not an idiot Hisashi, every single professional whose ever took so much as one look at me has told me the same exact goddamn thing, that I’m not going to live past my twenties. Hell, maybe not even my teens! I could keel over literally any day now–God knows I can’t keep up with the army of pills they want to shove down my throat at every turn–and no matter how hard you try to ignore it, that’s just the truth. Not even you can change it, big brother, I'm dying. Slowly, but I am.”

Yoichi paused to take a breath, furiously wiping tears from his eyes.

“And I’m fine with that, okay? I’m fine with dying, I really am. This isn’t even really living anymore–and don’t try to tell me it is, there are some things you just don’t get–so what’s the point? All I do now is slow you down, I slow everyone down, and I’m tired. I’m tired of being sick, of the hospital visits, the doctor’s appointments, of the pills and the masks and the inhalers…”

Yoichi finally looked up to meet his brother’s gaze.

“…I’m tired of being alive, Hisashi, I can’t do it anymore.”

I was watching part of the episode of Assassination Classroom where the kids all give each other code names and I was like "wouldn't it be funny if the league of villains did that", so here we are.

Now "Lizzy," I hear you say "they have villain names, why would they need code names"? And to that I say, leave me alone. I just watched today's episode and wanted to sob, let me have my fun. >:(

(Also, technically, in that episode the fun was that everyone else picked the codenames so we operating off that).

I feel like this would be born of a bet that went horribly wrong or just them joking around and then it became serious. Like, they had some undercover mission to do and were like "hey, since everyone like, knows what our names are now, we should probably get like codenames". Actually no, Toga and Twice said that, the rest of them said it was ridiculous but they were so insistent they put it to rock paper scissors and the others lost. So they all picked out codenames for each other:

Dabi: "Daddy Issues" (he almost flambés the entire hideout, because he totally doesn't and people aren't supposed to know about his super secret stuff, but in reality it's not that deep and Spinner put it in because he thought Dabi just looked like someone who'd have them).

Tomura: "Gotta Hand it to Ya" (Everyone but Tomura thought it was hilarious, no one cares it's not practical)

Spinner: "Brain AFK" (He would take offense that, but at least it's not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle)

Kurogiri: "MOOOOOOM" (All o's and caps included)

Compress: "Hey kid, wanna see a magic trick" (Again, no one cares it's not practical so Compress just goes with it and waits until it eventually gets shortened into something that can actually be said quickly on coms)

Twice: "Needs Therapy" (Anyone could've taken this, but they felt it fit him best)

Toga: "Stabby the Human" (Most of them don't get the reference, but it's fine)

I can just imagine them running around, murdering people and just doing what they do but the whole time it's just:

"Gotta Hand it To Ya?"

"..."

"Gotta Hand it To Ya? Do you copy?"

"What."

"...Y'know, I seem to have forgotten what I was gonna say, silly me."

"I swear if you pull this shit one more time Daddy Issues isn't gonna be the only thing you have–"

I don’t know if it’s this way for anyone else, but watching the anime after reading the manga still feels like this whole different experience. Like I read the manga of Toga’s/Ochaco’s fight and it was like sad, yeah, but after watching the anime episode it just, it actually hits yk?

Like she’s gonna die, it’s over now.

It’s all almost over.

…That realization hurts more than I wish it did. As much as I say things like “literally sobbing over here”, I’m not a media crier. Like the only piece of media that has ever made me shed tears was HXH, but I think when the dub comes around, this season is gonna have me crying.

I know that fandoms in general get a bad rap, and yeah, the MHA fandom had/has its issues, but honestly it’s been one of my favorite parts about watching this show and one of the reasons I’ve stuck around. It’s amazing to get to see what everyone else sees, how they envision the ending, how they wanted to see it play out.

The ending of MHA wasn’t perfect, but honestly, I don’t think a franchise of this size could ever come up with a 100% satisfying ending, and that’s okay. But that opens a door, I get to come here and see a thousand different ways it could’ve been for free. I get to see people inspired by those who don’t even exist.

It’s hard to explain how I feel about this show and this fandom without sounding cringy, but what the hell, no one knows who I am so fuck it. Everyone here? In the MHA space? I got one thing to say to you:

Y’all are great, y’all are talented, and y’all deserve the world, I mean that. I hope I keep seeing you in this space, that we can keep creating crazy shit to make each other laugh and cry.

Thanks everyone, it’s been a fucking blast and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Okay but can we talk about the amount of electrolytes (sodium specifically) that Bakugo must need to consume to exist??

Weird thing to fixate on, I know, blame my degree, but think about this: His quirk relies on his ability to sweat, which means the more he sweats the more he can use it. The main thing you lose when you sweat is water and sodium, the longer you sweat, the more those leave your body, that's common sense. Sodium helps you retain water and maintain the fluid balance inside and outside your body, which is why you see it hanging out with water so much and why it's such an important electrolyte that gets lost easily. Yes, technically, you also lose magnesium and potassium, but you lose less of those in sweat than sodium.

Most people don't actually need to supplement electrolytes, even those who exercise regularly, (this is excluding those with illnesses, just considering the average person here), you can get what you need from plain water. Even some athletes don't necessarily need to, it tends to depend heavily on how long you exercise, which is why you see people who do ultramarathons or ironmans downing them. There's ways to test whether or not you actually need them, but suffice it to say, more often than not, just drinking normal water is perfectly fine.

But Bakugo?? There's no way that boy doesn't burn through sodium like it's a fucking competition.

See, the key to whether or not electrolyte supplementation is needed is often found in how long you exercise for, as well as the environmental conditions. Say, if you're exercising outside in the spring for like, thirty minutes to an hours, just water is going to be all you need. Contrast that with a hero course student who likely exercises excessively, multiple times a day, every day, and has a quirk that relies on sweat. That is a recipe for ✨disaster✨ and you know what I don't see on his, or LITERALLY ANY OTHER HERO'S, costume??

A WATER BOTTLE.

I don't care if it ruins the aesthetic you're going for, dude, get a freaking water bottle and some little electrolyte packets before you pass out. How have any of these kids not thought of having some form of water on them while hero-ing?? Like y'all gonna be out on patrol for HOURS without any source of hydration? What a great way to die!

Honestly though, how many times do you think Bakugo just keeled over as a kid? Like dehydration can be a sneaky little shit, and with a quirk like that I'm sure they became besties.

Honestly, I wonder if he does actually carry electrolyte drinks and packets around with him because of that. Like, Izuku had to drag his ass back home too many times while they were out playing as kids and he got tired of it so he spent forever researching different electrolyte brands and sleuthing out which had the best water to sodium to sugar ratio (because you do want some sugar in your electrolyte drinks, the sodium uses it as a quick transport to get where it needs to go) for optimal rehydration. And now he's like, hyperaware of the symptoms and anytime his classmates look even a tiny bit like they might be dehydrated he just storms up and starts throwing electrolytes at their face like:

"DRINK YOUR WATER YOU IDIOTS, DO YOU WANT SURVIVE THE FUCKING LEAGUE OF VILLAINS JUST TO DIE OF DEHYDRATION?? THAT'S FUCKING PATHETIC. SIT DOWN AND DRINK THAT BEFORE YOU PASS OUT, DUMBASS."

All while violently shaking a water bottle with the electrolyte powder to shove down their throat.

Aggressive love, yk? At least he's trying.

I keep getting assaulted by pictures of Ochaco and Toga at every turn. Nowhere is safe anymore. Batten down the hatches everyone it’s only getting worse from here. 🫡

An Exercise in Futility - Part 5 and Beyond

In honor of Season 7 ending, I finally sat down and got this piece finished and posted to AO3! Feels really weird after years of just lurking and reading on there, to finally have a fic to my name, but that's beside the point. Those who have read parts 1-4, you can scroll down to “…I’m tired of being alive, Hisashi, I can’t do it anymore" and of from there!

Like I said over there, I have a few ideas for how to continue this AU, but I don't know if I'll do anything with them yet. So, for now, enjoy this!

An Exercise in Futility (6299 words) by LizzyScribbles Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Sensei | All For One & Yoichi | First One For All User Characters: Yoichi | First One For All User (My Hero Academia), Sensei | All For One Additional Tags: Yandere Sensei | All For One, Platonic Yandere, Chronic Illness, Terminal Illnesses, Suicidal Thoughts, Just general AFO being a creep, shocker I know Summary: Futility was a funny word, one Yoichi was well acquainted with, even at the ripe old age of sixteen. 

Just as you were about to give in to the demons in your head, forcing you to drown in their despicable words, you heard it. The distinct sound that you'd recognise even if you were six feet underground.

You heard the unmistakable coo of your husband. Your Keigo. Your mate. At first, it got lost in the storm wreaking havoc in your head,  but the more your focused on it the more it got louder. Unable to ignore it, not that you would, you surrendered yourself to the mushy feeling it brought. Sometimes it stunned you, the power a simple coo held over you. To you it signified that you were not alone. You'd never be alone as long as Keigo could help it. Your spring sunshine that always chased away the storms.

The more you came to the more you felt it. Surrounded by the sweet sounds your husband made to calm you and in turn calm himself as well. The sweet and goey coos and chirps , that had your heart singing out of joy no matter how many times you heard it.

As you focused, you noticed you were carefully tucked away in his arms, almost glued to his chest as Keigo rocked back n forth , while coos , chirps and pretty clicks spilled out of him like a waterfall. If it were up to him, he'd nestle you in his heart,  hide you from the terrors of the world and of the mind. That you had no doubt about.

Overcome with the sudden emotions , you raised your hands to cradle his face. As you rubbed your nose across his, you find yourself wishing that could answer those pretty sounds of his with your own. To be able to convey your feelings with your own set of melodies but alas, you could only hope that you're able to get your feelings across through other means. But as you gaze upon his honey eyes you know that your love reaches him all the same.

your sweet spring sunshine.

Just as you were about to give in to the demons in your head, forcing you to drown in their despicable words, you heard it. The distinct sound that you'd recognise even if you were six feet underground.

You heard the unmistakable coo of your husband. Your Keigo. Your mate. At first, it got lost in the storm wreaking havoc in your head,  but the more your focused on it the more it got louder. Unable to ignore it, not that you would, you surrendered yourself to the mushy feeling it brought. Sometimes it stunned you, the power a simple coo held over you. To you it signified that you were not alone. You'd never be alone as long as Keigo could help it. Your spring sunshine that always chased away the storms.

The more you came to the more you felt it. Surrounded by the sweet sounds your husband made to calm you and in turn calm himself as well. The sweet and goey coos and chirps , that had your heart singing out of joy no matter how many times you heard it.

As you focused, you noticed you were carefully tucked away in his arms, almost glued to his chest as Keigo rocked back n forth , while coos , chirps and pretty clicks spilled out of him like a waterfall. If it were up to him, he'd nestle you in his heart,  hide you from the terrors of the world and of the mind. That you had no doubt about.

Overcome with the sudden emotions , you raised your hands to cradle his face. As you rubbed your nose across his, you find yourself wishing that could answer those pretty sounds of his with your own. To be able to convey your feelings with your own set of melodies but alas, you could only hope that you're able to get your feelings across through other means. But as you gaze upon his honey eyes you know that your love reaches him all the same.

your sweet spring sunshine.

Spoil MHA Chap. 429

I hate Horikoshi