As The Door Closes Behind You And Clicks Into Place, You Sigh. Youve Made It Here. That Was Harder Than

As the door closes behind you and clicks into place, you sigh. You’ve made it here. That was harder than you thought. But today everything seemed hard. Maybe this day was especially hard, but maybe the whole week was hard. Maybe the whole year has been harder than you thought.

Reading this was cathartic.

I know that I told you this prior to now, but I read this late at night. A day where, strangely, it was the first time this semester where I went to bed at a semi-decent hour and had enough time to read this when I did. Maybe that’s also why I teared up as I read this, too.

I don’t want to analyze this too much because I feel like enough was already said, and especially with a piece like this, I'd rather just feel than think. But August, I sincerely thank you for sharing this with us. I feel like you were able to depict exactly what I and many others might be feeling right now, and even if it might not be a perfect parallel to one’s life, the sense of being exhausted and overwhelmed is a feeling that everyone has faced before. So, I thank you for being a comfort to not only me but to others on this vast platform. Thank you for being the reason for some of my brightest smiles and why I can find my heart beating just a little bit slower whenever I’m anxious. But, before I go, I’d just like to add in this bit:

And so he holds you in his arms with gentleness and just breathes with you. With every breath you take together he wills his love for you into his fingers that stroke your back in tender circles. You don’t know how long the two of you stand in the dark hallway, but after a while your breath starts to steady a bit and his warmth and the calmness he exudes warm up your tense muscles and adrenaline ridden nerves. Your cheeks, tired from a thousand forced smiles, start to relax and the cracks that stress has formed fill up with the comfort his arms provide.

Hugs to me, mean a lot. It's like the other person who is holding you is trying to keep you from breaking. Trying to gently hold and mold you back together with their comfort. But sometimes, it's okay to break in the arms of the people that you love because they’ll be there to hold and protect you until you are able to plant your feet firmly on the ground again. As this story was like a hug to me, I hope that my words can be a hug for you, August.

I’m not really sure how many people read my reviews, and I think that this might be the first time that I'm breaking and stepping out of this bubble between you and I, but for anyone else who may be reading this, I hope that you know that you are enough and that you’re enough. You're doing well, and I’m so proud of you.

Thank you so much, August for sharing this piece. I'm also very thankful for our friendship. Sometimes I feel like you can read my mind, and so you end up popping in whenever my late-night thoughts are anxiety-ridden, so I’m very grateful to have you in my life. I’m sending you so much love and hugs, my dear friend.

fragile | pjm

pairing: jimin x reader

summary: you’ve had a hard day and there is only one place you want to be right now.

wordcount: 681 words

genre/warnings: sfw, established relationship, hurt/comfort, slight anxiety and burnout/exhaustion

a/n: I needed a hug today, so here’s a small self-indulgent drabble. somewhat inspired by “fragile” by cooper & gatlin. barely edited and not beta-read.

masterlist

___

Your hand trembles a little bit when you reach into the pocket of your coat to get your keys. How you got from your office to this door will remain a mystery to you, the last 30 minutes a blur of streets and busses that your body navigated on autopilot. Your fingers find the keys and it takes another shaky breath to take them out and then another one before you use them to open the door.

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you tell me you love me, and i don’t know how to tell you “you’re hurting me.” i don’t know how to say “no” to the fall of your shoulders, to the weight of sighs, to the sea that threatens to spill from your eyes. I don’t know how to say “this needs to end” to the press of your kisses against my neck, the way you’ll draw out my defences and swallow them whole like you’re scared i’ll run away if i stay quiet.

because the moment i build a wall and draw a line, you come back with bombs and battalions: i watch your edges soften, hear the exhaustion you paint over with confidence, and see the your eyes say things your mouth never would. i witness my resolve crumble to rubble, a graveyard of broken determination.

because when you say i love you, it sounds like “don’t leave me.” 

i don’t know how to. 

- love letters i cannot send #17

[!!!!!!]

Shanna!! Hi!!!

This morning, I actually woke up with the urge to read another story of yours, and I didn't want to ignore it because it’s been a while since I’ve read something of yours, and I wanted to send you some love. Now, it's not Halloween, but it is spooky season (i.e., finals), but I think it was a bit ironic that I chose this fic of yours to read when there are like five others that are sitting and waiting to be read. But, I think that it’s because this is the story that made each week last year a bit more bearable, especially during school. Now, I'm here reading it right as I'm slowly climbing up the ladder to the pinnacle of the semester where everything is starting to get a bit more stressful, so I’m really happy that I had the chance to sit down and read this earlier this morning.

Reading chapter 8 from Jimin's perspective was a bit nostalgic for me tbh, and very enjoyable. I don't exactly remember if Jimin's thoughts toward the main character were shown before this moment, but being able to get inside of his head and learn exactly where his feelings lied and the intensity of them was really nice to read. The moment where he was in the car with her, and he offered his shirt, and then he was like, “He didn’t have anything to give you, even if he wished he did.” made my heart sort of go...🥺. Why’d you have to put that in there, Shanna?!?! My feelings got hurt before I even had breakfast.

But it’s okay though, because afterward, you realize that he wanted her and wants to build a relationship with her….And then...you broke my heart again when you wrote how it would be worth it if Jimin made her happy even if she was with someone else by the end of the night. (Shanna, I want to hug you, but also cry because that HURT!!!) And then at the end, there was that scene which made my mind go sjdjskkskakak, so overall, it was just a lot of back and forth with my emotions and me going, “Shanna, you genius brain!”

Anyways, thank you so much Shanna! I always enjoy every story that you put out. I hope that you’ve been doing well. And I’ll be cheering you on during NaNoWriMo!🥳💕

Raise the Barre (Halloween: Jimin’s POV)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: Underage drinking, sexual tension, Y/N’s skirt is short

Word Count: 4,107

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.  

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Whereas the difference of age would carry less weight with time, the burden of his view of you would not. How could he ever see you as anything other than his best friend’s little sister?

Jizz! Hi, my love. I’m actually pretty excited to be here right now. Not just because of this story (which was so fluffingly-is that a word?-phenomenal), but because I was able to read something of yours for the first time and write to you (and this will definitely not be last. I’m stoked to read Exchanging Heat btw)

So...You start off with the opening of Pandora’s box, a moment of no return. And it’s captivating because as readers, we’re starting off at the climax. Where everything is pretty pivotal for the characters and the plot, and now we’re going down this slope of finality thinking, “what’s going to happen next?” now that her feelings are out in the open now. Reading how the main character was banging her head into the pillow after everything was said and done (and- can I take a moment to pause and tell you that that was such a cute and cheeky way of confessing. Goodness I love her),  basically describes the reaction I, and maybe others, have had to every embarrassing moment we all may have had at some point. Like, moments where we could be right on the edge of sleep, waiting for our dreams to take over and the night to surpass, and then out of nowhere, BANG! You remember the day when you had a mental breakdown right in front of a hot dog place while listening to Beyonce, and other college students could see you blubbering and sniffling right in front of them (not...that that has ever happened to me..haha…) But this was endearing, and I found myself smiling quite broadly when I envisioned that scene. 

This story also reminded me of a crush that I had when I was in high school. I don’t have a brother, so he wasn’t precisely a brother’s best friend, but he had that aura to him. And I think that’s why I like the quote that I highlighted above so much. It’s because even though you may be a few years younger, the yearning to be looked at and accepted as something other than maybe “cute” or a “friend” makes you feel trapped in a box that you possibly never wanted to be set up around you. Because instead of “cute”, you might want to be called “beautiful” or maybe even “sexy.” And instead of a “friend”...well, that’s more of a personal choice, but you at least want to have the fluidness of being able to be considered more, you know?   

“That punk knew I’ve been in love with you for years, years, and now you’re telling me that he knew you liked me back?” He laughs menacingly, shrugging off his blazer. “Oh, he is in for it.”

Your jaw hits the floor as your soul floats up into space. “He–you–wait, what?” 

The humor in this story is so great. And when it came to the moment where the characters and we as readers realize that Namjoon had been keeping that secret for the longest of times, I gasped with them! It was a nice surprise to have, but I’m shaking my fist at Namjoon for keeping them away from each other for so long (I wonder why?)

Just like that your surroundings fade away, leaving you with just the sensation of his plush lips on yours. He presses into you like he means it, his demeanor much more serious than it was moments before as he holds your face firmly to his own. You don’t even have it in you to register your disbelief; instead you just melt into him, your sweatshirt-clad body squeezed flush against his well-dressed one.

Ah, this was part was so cute and fluffy, and my heart is so warm now. Thank you so much Jizz for writing this. Your story Camellia made me really happy, so I’m very thankful for you and your writings. I can’t wait to read more from you! Sending you lots of love, Jizz💕

Camellia | KSJ

Part of my Flower Collection [series masterlist]

Author: jin-fizz [masterlist]

Flower: Camellia

Genre: fluff, older brother’s best friend, idiots of course

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader

Rating: PG-13, SFW

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2k

(A/N): Seokjin’s installment of the flower series. I’ve given up trying to get my tags to work so this series is now just for my friends I guess. As always I hope you guys like it <3

Camellia: These impressive, lush flowers were beloved by the Victorians who gave them the meaning “my destiny is in your hands.” Tailor the flower’s color to your relationship: White camellia should be given to someone you like, pink camellia is for someone you miss, and red camellia is best for a significant other.

You feel like an absolute fool, a clown, a dummy. Lying prostrate on your bed, you let out a loud groan. Supid!

What kind of idiot confesses to their longtime crush by leaving a bouquet of white camellia in front of his apartment with nothing but a note that reads, “My destiny is in your hands.” -y/n”, like you’ve just leapt out of a soap opera and landed right on his doorstep?

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Little One (M)

Jung Hoseok Oneshot

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes​

•••> Summary: You find yourself in a position where you must choose between certainly addicting or below-average satisfaction for the rest of your life.

•••> Pairing(s): Hoseok/Reader

•••> Requested by Anon: “Hey I was wondering if you could possibly do a Hoseok smut oneshot and like hes a super dom? Love you 💜”

•••> Word Count: 6.41k

•••> Rating: 18+

•••> Tags: smut | ceo!au(?) | office!au | Hoseok!AU | Strangers to Lovers | Dominant!Hoseok | Submissive!Reader | 

•••> Warnings: smut, slight impreg!kink, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, mention(s) of masturbation, slight choking/strangulation, spanking, dirty talk, slight mention(s) of BDSM, dom/little one relationship, hobi is filthy, but he’s also respectful, cursing, pining, mild stalking?, alcohol use

Copyright © 2020 ilikemesometaetaes. All Rights Reserved.

Thank you for the request, anon! Sorry, it took me like a week to get it done, but here it is! I hope you enjoy :) I didn’t go back and edit it so please excuse any mistakes.

~#~

The light from the chandeliers of the ballroom dimmed as the night came undeniably closer to its end.

The event was organized by your company- a Friday evening to relax and celebrate the closing of another fiscal year. The flurries of snow that dusted the sidewalks outside the venue served as a reminder that the year, in itself, was coming to an end too.

Smooth, Christmas-themed jazz music acted as a factor in your sleepy demeanor, relaxing you into a comfortable glow of warmth despite failing your mission.

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“What power do you have?”

Part of me feels like I should have known that the upscale of events would have led to the main character doing this. Her loyalty and devoutness toward the people she resides with within their kingdom is like none other, and this has been shown repeatedly. But, I was still shocked by the outcome of everything nonetheless. I remember when I read the previous chapter, I thought that maybe she would find a way to steal food in bulk or something from the palace, but this...I’m a bit speechless, to be honest, and it comes from knowing both the lengths that she would go through to protect the people within their kingdom when technically they are not hers to protect and the reason why she would do such a thing in the first place.

“The only man who could make such an entrance and demand every ounce of your attention.”

Though this came from the mc's viewpoint, I feel like the same could be said for Yoongi toward her in this instance. He was there for her, armed at attention, once he heard the news, and I feel like if anyone had dared to stop him on his way to her, they would have been given the harshest of glares or possibly even dismissed from their positions. Now, was he furious because of the news? Of course. But was he also worried for her and annoyed by her actions? Most definitely. Sometimes what we really feel isn’t exactly always what is expressed on the outside, and I know that at that moment, he was just scared that maybe there was something worse happening. Something that would have led to her not waking up at all, and because the anniversary of his mother’s death was only a few months prior, I understand why he wouldn’t want to lose another person who is so close to him so soon.

What the main character did was admirable, even if it was quite dangerous, and I can honestly see both sides of this conflict between her and Yoongi. She only wants to protect and care for others, but she was a bit headstrong in doing so which is why Yoongi was upset. And even though I know he wouldn't hurt a hair on her head, just seeing the words he said written on ink was a shock because you know how much she truly means to him. Her health and life impact his own whether he knows it or not, or even if he might not have shown it in the best of ways in this instance. I hope that they’re able to move past this and are able to think of a way to help their people in this famine together.

Thank you so much, Rain for this beautiful chapter. I actually read this the day you posted it, but it just took me such a LONG TIME to write to you for absolutely no reason. But, I’m glad that I did today. I’m wishing you lots of love, rest, and no stress as we fight to finish this semester. Love you so much, my dear friend. Thank you for making me so happy💕

january 1870.

what can you do? what power do you have?

pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader genre: angst, drama words: 1.3k warning: this drabble contains a form of disordered eating.

moonlit throne index. this is drabble 28. start from the beginning?

“…uinyeo-nim…! …ease wake up…!”

“Can…hear us?”

The world comes back to you somehow piece by piece and all at once.

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