"Wow, The New King Arthur Movie Is A Fresh Take On A Boring, Overrated Old Legend! It Is So Gritty And

"Wow, the new King Arthur movie is a Fresh take on a boring, overrated old legend! It is so Gritty and Realsitic and the characters aren't Boring Goody Two-Shoes Knights in Shining Armor, which is TOTALLY unheard of, automatically making it So Original!"

T.H. White: Lancelot is bisexual and in love with both Guenevere and Arthur, also he's ugly as a monkey and has sadistic tendencies he's deeply ashamed of, and his whole motivation for becoming the Best Knight Ever is that he's been wallowing in self-loathing ever since he was a child. Both Mordred and Agravaine have an incestuous obessession with their mother, mainly born out of Morgause's emotional manipulation and abuse. Also, Mordred is an albino with some big Issues, but also a charimastic political leader, a nationalistic Scostman and the trend-setter of Camelot. Merlin literally defies the rules of temporal progression by existing, and his relationship with Nimue isn't al that bad. Kay exists, and so do Sir Ector and Sir Pellinore and Palamedes and the Questing Beast. It's raining anti-totalitarian political allegories and social discourse, Hallelujah!

Marion Zimmer Bradley: Morgana is a sympathetic (Wiccan-)Celtic priestess, and she didn't actually plan to have Arthur's kid. Morgana is Mordred's mom but Morgause still exists and she's the one who raises him. Arthurian women are important and deserve POVs.

Phyllis Ann Karr: There is a sad lack of Kay sass. To fix this, Kay investigates a murder mystery with Mordred in order to save Guenevere and sasses people while he's at it.

The Librarians: What if Galahad was immortal and lived in a modern setting as a middle aged guy fighting against supernatural threats and preventing the Apocalypse-or-something-like-that-at-least with his younger colleagues all the time?

Once Upon a Time: Okay but what if MORALLY AMBIGUOUS ARTHUR

Fate/Stay Night: Okay but what if GENDERBEND ARTHUR IN MODERN SETTING

Camelot 3000: Okay but what if REINCARNATED GENDERBEND IN SPACE

Mordred, Bastard Son: What if gay

The Knights of Camelot series: Seconds that^

Merlin - L'enchanteur désenchanté: Vivian dropped out of magic high school when a Viking got her pregnant, but then she finds love again with Merlin, who's supposed to teach Lancelot how to find the Graal. Morgana helps Vortigern fight Arthur because she's still bitter Arthur likes Guenevere better than her. Lancelot gets briefly turned into a girl. Nothing makes sense but it's okay, kind of.

... and these are just the first ones I could think of off the top of my head tbh

an incomplete list of unsettling short stories I read in textbooks

the scarlet ibis

marigolds

the diamond necklace

the monkey’s paw

the open boat

the lady and the tiger

the minister’s black veil

an occurrence at owl creek bridge

a rose for emily

(I found that one by googling “short story corpse in the house,” first result)

the cask of amontillado

the yellow wallpaper

the most dangerous game

a good man is hard to find

some are well-known, some obscure, some I enjoy as an adult, all made me uncomfortable between the ages of 11-15

add your own weird shit, I wanna be literary and disturbed

Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched “Poison Boots” and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chino’s foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking “How many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for me”. 

“One explanation for Guenever, for what it is worth, is that she was what they used to call a ‘real’ person. She was not the kind who can be fitted away safely under some label or other, as 'loyal’ or 'disloyal’ or 'self-sacrificing’ or 'jealous’. Sometimes she was loyal and sometimes she was disloyal. She behaved like herself. And there must have been something in this self, some sincerity of heart, or she would not have held two people like Arthur and Lancelot. Like likes like, they say – and at least they are certain that her men were generous. She must have been generous too. It is difficult to write about a real person.”

— The Once and Future King by T.H. White, writing what may be one of the finest defenses of a female character I’ve ever read in a novel

when you fail a persuasion attempt in an rpg: