sekallman - some aroace
some aroace

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Sometimes Figuring Yourself Out Can Suck. There Are Days I Wish I Could Have Crushes And Have The Regular

Sometimes figuring yourself out can suck. There are days I wish I could have crushes and have the regular teenage experience because sometimes I feel like an outsider. I can’t fall in love and I don’t wanna do the deed. I’m just tired of hurting. I got hurt and emotionally manipulated by someone at my school and I’m scared that history will repeat itself. I don’t want them to hurt anyone else. I’m tired of holding anger towards this person because I just want them to grow up and learn not to overstep people’s boundaries. I left them because I had grown up a bit and learned that I deserve better. They made me question everything about my identity. They did these non-consented cuddles, and I felt stuck. I love myself a bit more, but I’m sometimes a little lonely. This person put me down along with another person. I left them both. My friends that I have now, respect me and I love them and appreciate them for that. I’ve always wanted to befriend everyone, but the fact is, that little childish dream of mine can’t come true because not everyone will like me or want to befriend me, and the same is for me, as I have the same feelings for some people as well. Augghh...growing up also sucks! 

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More Posts from Sekallman

2 years ago

It’s really hard as an aromantic to try and find genuinely kind people (who won’t be attracted romantically). Though I think that this is just hard in general. 


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4 years ago

Hello, so this is for a webcomic that I’m going to make very soon (the first few pages will be out on webtoons but the 14th). If you like the very interesting plot that is given in these short 14 seconds please check it out on Webtoons, Tapas, and SmackJeeves. Also have a great day?


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2 years ago

I know! Though I do think that some of them might’ve had platonic crushes (”squishes”) rather than romantic crushes, but yeah romance doesn’t compute or make sense. It definitely seems subjective and varying on the individuals boundaries and then to add on top of that there’s also trauma and just one’s overall lived experience, though I do notice that some people will change their boundaries once getting to know someone as it can be a little awkward when getting to know someone in general. So yeah, basically I 100% agree with what you said above, as they don’t seem serious, but maybe they could be, not like I know.

It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like…”NONONO…I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono….I haven’t dated anyone…I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-…people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread…oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.


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2 years ago

It’s funny being somewhat extroverted and being aroace. I love it! I feel like a double agent.

Also the line between romance and friendship is so convoluted at this point that I really don’t see the difference. People kiss their friends. They make out with their friends. I mean people even fuck their friends. So where is the line. I’d say it depends on a) your boundaries, b) how you feel, and c) and where you’re at right now. Basically, all of it is subjective and I can’t tell when people are in relationships, so I always assume that they are friends cause I can’t tell. 

I know it isn’t the best to be “pal paling” people, but I wouldn’t deem it a bad thing. There’s barely any aro-spec representation. Everyone has a story to tell, and perhaps even through little things, you should share your story.

On a side note, I’m literally creating a story because I decided to create my own representation. First it was for gender, now it’s for ma sexuality and romantic orientation.


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2 years ago

Figuring out wtf my aro identity is...but like...I have an idea...I guess

Alright so I’m 100% certain I’m romance repulsed by well anything romantic irl (not that I could tell...thank the universe)....but also I’m 100% sure I absolutely love seeing some really well thought out romance stories...like sometimes they’re just so good and when they’re queer they’re even better. Sometimes though I do find it tiring to look at/read and would like to read an adventure story or a mystery story instead. What I don’t get is why some people like the toxic relationships...I guess I just don’t understand because there are some toxic relationships in my family...but yeah the healthy ones are just wholesome af. I usually find stories like heartstopper or skam (the original one though...haven’t watched the others) to be extremely wholesome...OH also Green and Gold...also the art style is just so soft.


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