
37 posts
Sekallman - Some Aroace - Tumblr Blog
Sometimes figuring yourself out can suck. There are days I wish I could have crushes and have the regular teenage experience because sometimes I feel like an outsider. I can’t fall in love and I don’t wanna do the deed. I’m just tired of hurting. I got hurt and emotionally manipulated by someone at my school and I’m scared that history will repeat itself. I don’t want them to hurt anyone else. I’m tired of holding anger towards this person because I just want them to grow up and learn not to overstep people’s boundaries. I left them because I had grown up a bit and learned that I deserve better. They made me question everything about my identity. They did these non-consented cuddles, and I felt stuck. I love myself a bit more, but I’m sometimes a little lonely. This person put me down along with another person. I left them both. My friends that I have now, respect me and I love them and appreciate them for that. I’ve always wanted to befriend everyone, but the fact is, that little childish dream of mine can’t come true because not everyone will like me or want to befriend me, and the same is for me, as I have the same feelings for some people as well. Augghh...growing up also sucks!
I love how I started out writing a comic book, while thinking I must be cis and pan, and now that I’m nearing the end of it, I’m trans, non-binary, and aroace. Granted, before that I thought I was cishet, and kinda just denying way too many fucking things about myself. Upon admitting them through storytelling, I somehow feel much much gayer. This is probably because I feel more comfortable in my skin now. Thank you for my TEDTalk.
Alright so as an a-spec, trans, and non-binary person, I’ve taken it upon myself to create a story in the medium of comics. I’ve doin’ this for a while though, like 2 years...and HOLY SHIT!!! I feel as if I’ve grown with the characters, and I know how it’s going to end. I often find that my characters represent parts of myself rather than the people in my life. My goal is to finish it and post it on the internet, though I kinda already did, by posting the first ten pages. It’s gonna be two volumes, so as you can imagine, shit goes down. Granted, the first 20 pages are kinda rushed, but I wanted 228 pages max for the first volume, and I want the second to be 200. The main character, Noel (they/them), is non-binary and is figuring out their sexuality, so yeah :).
I’m so fucking aro and ace
A rant about being aromantic as well as asexual while being a teen
It sucks dude. I feel behind and a part of me doesn’t care, but another part of me is going, “WHY ME?!”. And some of it, at least for me, is in part due to trauma, and also lack of attraction. Sometimes I just wish I could feel something, you know. I also don’t want to be in a qpr with anyone, but I just want friends. The problem is due to trust issues I’m scared to hug them and stuff, so that causes me to get a bit touch starved, even though I could just ask. Everything is just scary. I do love my friends in the most platonic way and that’s it. They are truly wonderful people, but I wish I could...well fit in more sometimes. I know that it’s sappy and honestly not the best outlook to want to fit in, but I just wonder what it feels like to fit in, or perhaps everyone is just faking it regardless. I’m a bit sad and scared my friends will leave me for their partner(s), though I don’t think they would, as one of them is dating some peeps and they’re really chill and equally care and I guess I’m scared that I’m just not loved by my friends. I think they do love me and I have this tendency to give to much and never relax because I’m just a people pleaser. So overall, I’m just a lil’ lonely and sad and I wanted to rant on here because people seem pretty chill.
I know! Though I do think that some of them might’ve had platonic crushes (”squishes”) rather than romantic crushes, but yeah romance doesn’t compute or make sense. It definitely seems subjective and varying on the individuals boundaries and then to add on top of that there’s also trauma and just one’s overall lived experience, though I do notice that some people will change their boundaries once getting to know someone as it can be a little awkward when getting to know someone in general. So yeah, basically I 100% agree with what you said above, as they don’t seem serious, but maybe they could be, not like I know.
It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like…”NONONO…I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono….I haven’t dated anyone…I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-…people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread…oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.
It funny how I was able to accept that I was ace, granted I was in denial about it for some time. Then I realized I was aro and was like...”NONONO...I know I have no desire to date anyone, but NONONONONONONOnonono....I haven’t dated anyone...I don’t know what a crush feels like, let alone attraction!!! I’ve never had any fantasies!!! Wait-...people fantasize ABOUT ONE ANOTHER?!! I wouldn’t date any stranger or my friends!!!” and then I had the most funny thought at a certain point (before I knew the term aromantic) and it was, “Well maybe if I move countries I’ll be able to fall in love!!!!”, and meanwhile when romance/sex would show up in media I’d be like “Where is the plot?! Why did we lose the plot?! People actually want this?! WAIT-?! Do people act like this?!”. I also thought people were just deadass lying when they said they experienced crushes in kindergarten, which they probably weren’t lying. I will say though I do love food. I mean pesto is an absolute god. Chocolate is amazing (though if don’t like chocolate that’s cool too, same with any other food). But bread...oh my god! I love naan, rolls, and most breads.
Am I gonna talk about my aroace-ness again? Yes, yes I will
I fucking love being aroace. I may be a teen and others may be falling in love and doing the big sex (I find sex funny cause I don’t get it, but good for them). I am perfectly content with all my friends and I love them to the earth, the moon, the stars, the vast universe, and all the way back again. I love to hear their stories and their perceptions. I could gush over all my friends all day. I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with as much drama due to lack of interest and attraction. Also good for other aros who feel little attraction and good for aros who still want relationships, ya’ll do be swell. That about wraps it up :)
It’s really hard as an aromantic to try and find genuinely kind people (who won’t be attracted romantically). Though I think that this is just hard in general.
You know what’s better than romance and sex. Food. Garlic bread and cake coming my way.
It’s funny being somewhat extroverted and being aroace. I love it! I feel like a double agent.
Also the line between romance and friendship is so convoluted at this point that I really don’t see the difference. People kiss their friends. They make out with their friends. I mean people even fuck their friends. So where is the line. I’d say it depends on a) your boundaries, b) how you feel, and c) and where you’re at right now. Basically, all of it is subjective and I can’t tell when people are in relationships, so I always assume that they are friends cause I can’t tell.
I know it isn’t the best to be “pal paling” people, but I wouldn’t deem it a bad thing. There’s barely any aro-spec representation. Everyone has a story to tell, and perhaps even through little things, you should share your story.
On a side note, I’m literally creating a story because I decided to create my own representation. First it was for gender, now it’s for ma sexuality and romantic orientation.
The struggles real, am I right?
Being polyamorous while also being aroace has been the most confusing shit of my life. I just wanna vibe in a polycule and I want to feel cared for. I feel cared for my friends at the moment, so I’m okay now, but it’d be nice in the future, cause I don’t wanna live alone. I really shoulda known I was aro though....like the signs were so obvious...and ace even more obvious. I am glad though that I basically embody chaos at this point.
Things I shoulda known
I really should’ve known I was non-binary because I didn’t understand the binary at all, like I do, but it just was like a sock that never fit. When I did discover the term it made me a bit sad, but I had this huge wave of relief and was happy that I could finally be myself. All gender bathrooms are the best, no questions asked. Now onto my sexuality...I really shoulda known I was ace..I mean dude, I literally couldn’t say the word “sex” for years. I have a list of alternatives...quite literally. It’s funny cause one of my friends knew before I did. Now onto my romanticism...I never understood romance..but I was fully convinced that I was a pan/panro...I was really wrong. I hadn’t had well, any crushes (faked ‘em to a T). I found out I was demiplatonic and realized I have squishes on occasion (literally my besties...I love them so SO much...I wanna hang and talk philosophy with both of ‘em), and that I might not be as introverted as I thought. Imma get real existential real quick, but I really am grateful that in the little time that I’ve had on this planet, that I will never experience falling in love or sexual attraction because I’ll have a whole ‘nother experience than somebody else. I’ll change in different ways. My experience may not be common, but I’m grateful that I get to have it.
Figuring out wtf my aro identity is...but like...I have an idea...I guess
Alright so I’m 100% certain I’m romance repulsed by well anything romantic irl (not that I could tell...thank the universe)....but also I’m 100% sure I absolutely love seeing some really well thought out romance stories...like sometimes they’re just so good and when they’re queer they’re even better. Sometimes though I do find it tiring to look at/read and would like to read an adventure story or a mystery story instead. What I don’t get is why some people like the toxic relationships...I guess I just don’t understand because there are some toxic relationships in my family...but yeah the healthy ones are just wholesome af. I usually find stories like heartstopper or skam (the original one though...haven’t watched the others) to be extremely wholesome...OH also Green and Gold...also the art style is just so soft.
I dunno...some more rambles
So I’m aroace...pretty sure I’m repulsed by romance and sex, but like sometimes the romance is just fucking cute and sex scenes are just a bore...like dude....I’m lookin’ for actual plot (also sometimes when they come up I’m like...welp I guess it’s a death day). Anyways, I’m working on being romance and sex positive because I wanna respect other people, even if I don’t necessarily understand it. But also when I read loveless I didn’t necessarily know I was aroace...and I was like “I gotta experience some ATTRACTION!”...so I thought I was aroflux/aceflux and then I saw Jaiden Animations video and it finally clicked...but now I know why I thought many things were stange. HURRAH!!! Also a-spec peeps, have some cake or garlic bread or really just some food...cause food is legit.
My homies in the a-spec community
So I’ve been trying to educate myself on other’s experiences (i.e. alloaces, aroallos, and those who may be heteromantic/heterosexual a-specs). I consider myself aroace and I want to support both the ace-spec and aro-spec community with as much respect and gratitude because you are all beautiful. I’m working on being sex-positive instead of sex-negative, so that I can be both a better friend and person. I know that sometimes there’s well...gatekeeping from a-spec who try to invalidate those who may be aroallo or aceallo. For some they may not see those who are aroallo or aceallo as valid or real, which is an absolute lie (ya’ll keep going and walk with your pride). Please just let people exist. Another thing I want to talk about is that sometimes we disregard that you could be a cishet ace-spec or cishet aro-spec (also if you’re trans person who’s het and a-spec, you’re also amazing) and you know what ignoring those in the community is alienating. If you are het and a-spec...YOU ARE SO FUCKING VALID! And if you’re apl-spec that’s AWESOME!! Just know that you are a wonderous being that the universe will be grateful to have given you the experiences that you had!! Those experiences are beautiful canvases that you get to paint because no one can tell you what you should want!!
#aroallo #rant #aceallo #aromantic as fuck #asexual as fuck #aplatonic #a-spec homies #I hope nobody will get mad at this showing up in both aceallo and aroallo tag spaces #aro #aroace #aro positivity #ace #ace positivity
A lil’ story
When I was 11 there was some fortune teller that basically told me love life (which none)
He said that I would have a “lover” by the age of 14-15. And then he said I’d have one at 16-17 (I kinda forgot which one or if he said both). And one at 19.
Fortuneteller: Ah yes you will have many lovers
Me, an aroace in my head thinking: Huh...I haven’t any crushes yet...what’s it supposed to feel like? That’s not weird...right?
Later that year I went to a party...I think I was 12 then...and still nobody was “attractive”.
And I was just waiting and I heard two people telling each other that they liked each other and then one of them was absolutely pissed at me...and I was like “Oh I like said person”...except I did not...I was just really scared.
I continued to force crushes over the years, and I’m 16 now...and I feel absolutely nothing that people would call attraction. Every time I would tell people, like my friends, the “crush” would just go away (instantly if I may add) and I was like “okay...maybe next time?” but also “Uhm...is that normal...that’s not normal, right?”
Then covid happened and I was touch starved...and there was someone who was nice on the team (not gonna say...okay, but it was a sports team), and I thought: “Wow they’re so nice...maybe my crush won’t vanish!”. Then I told my friends and...it did indeed vanish. I did however want to become the persons friend badly...and that’s not going well, but if they see this...hi..can we be friends?
In conclusion, that fortune teller was talking out of his ass, excuse my language, but he was as I have no clue what a crush is supposed to feel like.
#aromantic #aromantic as fuck #this guy was dead wrong and I dunno why I believed him #Also he thought I was a girl, which...no I’m just non-binary #asexual #asexual as fuck #squish #I kinda wish I knew what aroace was instead of forcing crushes, but I’m glad I know now #aroace
Just a casual aroace doing really random ramblings :)
Hello there fellow people of the internet, I’ve recently discovered that I’m aroace and I dunno why I’m telling you this, but hi. Onto ramblings we go: Whenever someone talks about a romantic relationship I don’t get it, like good for you I guess. I guess I don’t understand, hence the lack of attraction...also it scares me that there are people my age who’ve done it (teens)...like WHAT?! That is probably due to my aceness...although I didn’t think I was ace for a year...until I realized that you can indeed be a disaster aroace. But also I only really understand platonic relationships and I’ve always had some amount of repulsion to kissing/”the deed” scenes...though I it doesn’t bother as much with the kissing scenes, but if someone were to kiss me...like bro...6 feet apart or farther please. Though then there’s some of my aegoness that confuses me and sometimes I do experience sensual and aesthetic attraction, but it’s worse when I get squish...those...those suck, but not in a bad way...but please let me be your friend. I really went from: “Huh I haven’t liked anyone, but I’m touch starved, so I’m just gonna pick someone who’s nice...but I must be pan.” (shoutout to all my panros/pans)....and now I’m like: “Yep...definitely aroace...kinda wish I knew this in middle school...but now isn’t a bad time...NOW TO WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE!”
#aroace #rambles #aromantic #aego #asexual #asexual as fuck #aromantic as fuck #asexual

Well...this was a prompt for inktober and I had way to much fun...and I dunno if anyone’s going to notice this because social media and artists don’t always work out well...especially now...anyways...my art style has changed a lot, but I like a lot better now...and I learned a thing or two about proportions and anatomy since the last drawings I posted. It’d be real cool if someone shared this cause that’s what I want my art to be for. To tell a story.
I dunno if anyone will see this..but hi...it’s been awhile.

Follow the story of two supernatural youngsters, Noel and Ezra, both descendants of the Contradii genus. Now what is a Contradii you ask? Well, read on to find out! A story centred around the teen years, family, some queerness and magic. Do you dare to turn the page? Read on adventurers! Updates every Friday!!! Interested in my work? Check out my other socials! Tumblr: @piroshki101 DeviantArt:@mushyeggplant Reading this will make your day better. #We're Screwed #webcomic #WEBTOON

Follow the story of two supernatural youngsters, Noel and Ezra, both descendants of the Contradii genus. Now what is a Contradii you ask? Well, read on to find out! A story centred around the teen years, family, some queerness and magic. Do you dare to turn the page? Read on adventurers! Updates every Friday!!! Interested in my work? Check out my other socials! Tumblr: @piroshki101 DeviantArt:@mushyeggplant Reading this will make your day better. #We're Screwed #webcomic #WEBTOON
Hello, so this is for a webcomic that I’m going to make very soon (the first few pages will be out on webtoons but the 14th). If you like the very interesting plot that is given in these short 14 seconds please check it out on Webtoons, Tapas, and SmackJeeves. Also have a great day?

I really just wanted to do something random, so I present to you a digital painting. Also you can follow me on DeviantArt @mushyeggplant
#space

Hello,
This is a character design that I’m going to incorporate into a story at some point. I’m also new here, but if you like my art or something, you can check me out on Deviant Art @mushyeggplant (I know it’s a bad username but I can’t change it :((). Have a great day!
#demon #oc #original_character #original #character #character_design #wings #angel #angel_demon