Update:

Update:

Five minutes later, he screeches "ANARCHY" or some shit at the top of his lungs and runs back into the room, also at full speed. But, plot twist, this time I move before he gets elbowed.

When I asked why he did it again, he said "revenge" and elbowed me. In the face. Daintily.

I'm not sure how to feel.

MY BROTHER JUST SCREAMED "MEDS!" AND RAN HEADFIRST INTO MY ELBOW. HE THEN PROCEEDED TO FALL OFF THE SIDE OF THE BED AND SING THE FNAF THEME.

we then had to convince my mom to let me shitpost abt it on Tumblr.

The Girl In The Cargo Pants- Gender Switch of The Boy In The Black Dress

Sophie told her off behind the school She trembled as her friends made fun of her Femininity seems to hurt a lot The comments always get stuck in your head Hey

Her pastor said that short hair was for boys Preached it right in front of the church So she paced on the balcony as the clouds threw up and wept Cuttin’ her skin to get rid of the bad

You don't want to lie No, you don't wanna lie anymore About things that make you sad Things that drive you mad

The girl in the cargo pants How I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I wish she was dead The girl in the cargo pants How I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, tell all of your friends To drown her in misery

Nathan just laughed and walked through the halls Told stories about his friends and his wealth Runnin’ around in his fancy pants He told her of things she’d never have that amazing life she’d never have

You don't want to lie No, you don't wanna lie anymore About why you feel so bad You don't want to lie No, you don't wanna lie anymore About things that make you sad Things that drive you mad

The girl in the cargo pants How I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, I wish she was dead The girl in the cargo pants How I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, tell all of your friends To drown her in misery

She tried to erase her by just thirteen Because she couldn’t even walk out the door They all think she lied, but the Lord knows she tried To be something that they all would adore They hate what she is and they hate what she's not But hate is nothing new, you will see From the grave to the yard, how I wish that I forgot That the girl in the cargo pants is me

I Did A Photoshoot

I have many plushies. But today. Today I took pictures of my keychains. These are Kokomi (the Squishmallow Stingray) and Sebastian (the Plague Doctor in the shadows).

I love my keychains. I’ll post more plushie photoshoots later, too! I have many.

Love, Shroomie

So, we’re dogsitting my aunt’s miniature poodle-something-or-other. Here’s a conversation my sister had with her this morning.

Dog: *Barks loud af at the window*

Sister: Dido, don’t be racist.

Now I don’t speak dog, but there’s two explanations for this. 1, my nine-year-old sister can speak to dogs, or 8, and slightly more plausible, there was a black or otherwise culturally different person walking down the sidewalk.

I’m choosing to believe that my little feral cat of a gremlin sister can speak dog.

reblog if you would use any of the tags

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf