Five More Minutes,

Five more minutes,

I will watch the moon

for five more minutes

Pretend my pain

is washed away

by its gloomy light

reaching my teary eyes

I will watch it with ardor

as the ocean roars

drowning the sound

of my heart shattering

into million screaming pieces

that remind me of

the kisses I showered the wind,

thinking you're here

running your fingers

through my hair

Five more minutes

won't hurt me

so I will linger that long

Stare at the night sky

Count the stars

that twinkle and

lament those that

already consumed

themselves to dust

Savor the cool breeze

against my skin

Listen to the secrets

the ghosts whisper

in my ears: your name

bringing me back

all the memories

I refuse to bury

Five more minutes, my love

I will watch the moon

wishing you're somewhere

looking at it too

-katie, 23:53

the past is an old apartment

i try to visit

everytime i feel the need

to be reminded

of the times

love and happiness

were my roommates

-katie, 31st of July 2021

life f***d me so hard

now i am pregnant

at the mercy of fatigue

and morning sickness,

i dream of galaxies

far away,

of stars burning out,

of white holes emerging

entities from one dimension

to a newer, greener one

i conceived hope

from tears

my grey sky shed

here in my womb

a new possibility was implanted

i watch blood spots stain

the clean linen I wear,

remind myself of the gift

throbbing in my veins

life f****d me so hard

now i am finally pregnant

after years of being barren,

lurking in the dark woods,

marveling at the depth of

the wounds i try so hard

to conceal,

the wrist cuts gaping

like angry openings but never

allowed air to fill my lungs

i suffocate, shatter in the corner

grit my teeth, bite my lips

to keep me from screaming

silence is comforting they say

and i drank too much of it

isolated from the rest of the world,

i am a pariah

who crawl the earth,

taste the saltiness of my sweat,

swallow the dirt

i lure death to my private chamber

he evaded me

but from time to time he visits

the farthest

reaches of my memory

he is not mine to summon

i can only wish solace

from the swing of his sword

so life flirted with me

it was a magical moment

romance quickly blossomed from

my famished mouth,

a miracle mushrooming from

my aching breasts,

it urged me to believe love always wins

though i never had the chance

to taste victory no matter how fierce i called

its name from the void, love

is an illusion meant to

manipulate us in our most

vulnerable state

life used love to tame me

i was at its beck and call

i've lain on a bed of roses

for ten moons or so

woke at the light kisses of zephyr,

greeted by the warm strokes of the sun

i was happy until the waves grew

rough, devouring me

i fell unconscious from the blows

gained scars from the wars

i waged in my head

life f*****d me so hard

it was an excruciating night

i lost my pride

i lost my dignity

now i am pregnant

after enduring barrenness,

and frustration,

and pain

i am pregnant with faith

with hope,

with courage,

with new potentials

i harnessed from

the belligerent storms

the world sent

to prevent me from going home

-new beginning,

katie, 19:20

if i pass away,

my pen will mourn me longer

than my friends will ever do in a lifetime

it will sit cold on my study table,

its own bereavement fester

with the lifeless body buried somewhere

reeking of lost poetry

an ocean of mystery that seems

unsolvable now that the lead vanished

like smoke

it will try to recollect the words

it used to scribble

and the emotions they carry

it will marvel at the depth of the scars

that resonate on the seemingly flawless pieces,

how many times in a day did i survive

the pangs before i decided the culmination

of a barren life

such a tragedy that it could only lie there

thinking of the past as its yearning

to be held burns with the candlestick

-mourn me longer,

katie, 16th of July 2021, 16:45

"May the heart, in its exhaustion, remember to rest and indulge into the sweet memories of love songs resounding from its yesteryears.

These are the soft rambles that filled your mind as you lay awake in bed at the early hours of dawn. Those austere longings that snared your heart, relentless as the wind blowing on the trees, swift as the waves kissing the sand, tenacious as the rain chiming in with the beat of the music coming from your stereo, they are here—neatly scribbled and compiled into an anthology. These are your stories. The love notes you hastily jotted down at the last page of your high school textbook, the poems you composed during your weekend getaways, the letters you struggled to ink on stationeries while ardently wishing that one day, the love of your life will find and read them.

They are finally here. The long walks on the beach. The late-night conversations. The sultry kisses at the back seat of your car. The lingering glances. The love songs. The promises. The sweet nothings! They are all here, captured in prose and poetry. So, dear reader, bury your nose on the pages with utmost gusto. Whether you are a sojourner, a bold and willing settler, or a classic runaway in love, you’ve had your own share of sweet nothings, I am sure. Allow yourself to remember. Allow yourself to rediscover your youth, relive the love stories that ended, make peace with the pains they caused. Above all, allow yourself to breathe and celebrate the love stories that won over the years and stayed."

-Sweet Nothings,

Ana Grasya

Avail a copy through the following links:

Google Play - https://books.google.co.in/books/about?id=-xhmEAAAQBAJ&redir_esc=y

Ukiyoto All Versions - https://www.ukiyoto.com/product-page/sweet-nothings

Ukiyoto Philippines (for those in the Philippines only) - https://www.ukiyotophilippines.com/product-page/sweet-nothings

You are neither a battle nor a war I have to win every passing day.

You are my refuge.

You are my home.

(you are everything that makes me want to survive)

............

Hindi ka isang laban na kailangan kong harapin at ipanalo sa bawat araw.

Ikaw ang kanlungan,

ang nag-iisang tahanan.

(ikaw ang bawat dahilan kung bakit nagsusumikap mabuhay)

-katie, 20:27