Gotham Incorrect Quotes (includes Gobblepot) Mainly Made Using Scatterpatter

gotham incorrect quotes (includes gobblepot) mainly made using scatterpatter

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Oswald: *watching Jim sleep*

Oswald: look at him. I love him. He's my everyth-

Jim: *snores*

Oswald: I can't live like that.

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Jim: i lost the job.

Harvey, sighing: what did you do this time?

Jim: Loeb pointed a pencil at me and said 'there's an idiot at the end of this pencil'

Jim: so I asked which end.

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Harvey: treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Jim: killed without hesitation.

Harvey: no.

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Jim, raising his fists: fight me

Oswald, standing behind Jim, softly shaking his head: *mouths* do not

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Barbara: who's the scariest person you've ever encountered?

Oswald: Jim.

Oswald: it's terrifying how dumb he is.

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Oswald: compliment me

Jim: you have eyes

Oswald: nice

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Jim: in my defense, i was left unsupervised

Barnes: wasn't Harvey with you?

Harvey: in my defense, i was also left unsupervised

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Jim: i beg your pardon?

Oswald: then beg.

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Jim: *gets down on one knee*

Oswald: oh my god it's finally happening

Jim: *falls over*

Oswald: the poison is kicking in

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Oswald: look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Jim a little bit

Victor, holding Oswald's notepad: you doodled your wedding invitation.

Oswald: no, that's our joint tombstone.

Victor: my mistake.

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Harvey, waking up after getting knocked out: where are we?

Jim: in trouble.

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Jim: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Oswald: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Harvey: Smad.

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Harvey: I trust Jim.

Barnes: You think he knows what he's doing?

Harvey: I wouldn't go that far.

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Jim: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Harvey: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Jim: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Harvey: Good thinking.

(Part 2)

Harvey: keep that behaviour up and you’ll be sleeping with the fishes very soon.

Jim: (mumbling) I‘d rather be sleeping with the penguins

Harvey: ….what

Jim: I said what I said

i love how there's the genre of fix-it fic where the author goes into great granular detail of how our heroes manage to avoid or undo whatever character death or other unpopular choice occurred, in a way that abides by the laws of the fictional universe and definitely required a substantial plot outline, and then there are fix-it fics where the author just went "that's bullshit and didn't happen," and we as readers all go "agreed. carry on."

still gotham incorrect quotes (still includes gobblepot) thanks to scatterpatter's incorrect quotes generator

Ed: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Harvey: The car takes a screenshot.

Jim: For the last time, shut the fuck up.

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Ed: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Jim: You’re a hazard to society

Harvey: And a coward. Do twenty.

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Jim: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Harvey: The cow???

Jim: What?

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Harvey: if Jim and I were drowning, who would you save?

Ed: you two can’t swim?

Harvey: it’s a hypothetical question, Nygma! who would you save?

Ed: my time and effort.

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Jim: You have to apologize to Harvey

Oswald: Fine.

Oswald: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

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Jim: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Harvey: Just rip the bandage off.

Jim: It’s Oswald.

Harvey: Put the bandage back on.

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Harvey: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Jim: Harvey no.

Ed: Mistlefoe.

Jim: Please stop encouraging him.

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Oswald: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Jim: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Oswald:

Oswald: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

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Jim: Where are you going?

Oswald: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

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Harvey: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Ed, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Harvey:

Harvey: fsh

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Oswald: You love me, right, Jim?

Jim: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

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Jim: So that’s my plan.

Oswald: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Jim: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Oswald: It fucking sucks.

Jim: That’s not constructive criticism.

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Harvey: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...

Jim: You would eat yourself?

Harvey: I wouldn’t even question it.

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Oswald: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Jim: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions of the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Oswald: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

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Jim: You're right.

Oswald: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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Lee: quick, what's your type?

Jim: anyone who'll take me, honestly

Lee, desperately, as Jim bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Jim: Oh! B positive.

Lee: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Jim:

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Barnes, addressing the precinct: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Jim: But – that’s just a trash can.

Barnes: It sure is!

(Part 3)

gotham incorrect quotes + gobblepot (pt. 5) (this is starting to be a lot of parts) (based on scatterpatter's incorrect quotes generator)

Jim: So what’s for dinner?

Oswald, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.

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Bruce: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Selina: What's that?

Bruce: Remorse code.

Selina: I'm even angrier now.

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Jim: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside

Oswald:

Oswald: Jim, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...

Jim: *Sips coffee from bowl*

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Oswald, talking to Jim on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Jim: You bet!

Oswald: At what temperature?

Jim: 535.

Oswald: That's the clock.

Jim:

Oswald:

Jim: 536.

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Jim: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.

Oswald: Jim, that's a coma.

Jim: Sounds festive.

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Oswald: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

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Oswald: Okay, truth or dare?

Jim: Truth

Oswald: How many hours have you slept this week?

Jim:

Jim: ...Dare

Oswald: Go to bed.

Jim: I don’t like this game.

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*Jim and Oswald skipping stones on lake*

Jim: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Oswald, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

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Jim: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Lee: Oh, you’ve been?

Jim: Once. In Monopoly.

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Jim: Oswald...

Oswald: Oh no, 'Oswald' in b-flat.

Oswald: You're disappointed.

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Jim: *Accidentally hits Oswald in the face*

Jim: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Jim: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Oswald: What’s wrong with you?!

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Jim: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Harvey: *chugs entire bottle*

Harvey: It’s perfume.

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Barnes, going over Jim's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

Jim: Yes

Barnes: Okay... may I know what you create?

Jim: Problems.

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Selina: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Bruce: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Selina: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

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Jim: You know, not every problem can be solved with a knife.

Oswald: That's why I carry two knives.

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Oswald: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Jim: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

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Jim: I can explain.

Barnes: Can you?

Jim: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Liking a character that has litteraly no backstory is so fun because i can just... make up stuff. Like yeah, they have six sisters. They're a single child. Their favorite person is their mom. They have a horrible relationship with both of their parents. They ate grass as a kid. They were incredibly picky with food and never put anything but bread in their mouth. Their birthday is in november. They were born in july. They're turning twenty seven in february. You disagree? Canon doesn't. I can just say what I want, and I think that's beautiful.