Knowledge Pt.1

Knowledge pt.1

check out the other parts here!

Summary:

The story begins the same for everyone, on the day of the ceremony, one of the most important for all the kids who take part in it every year, and Michelle will not miss the opportunity to leave behind a faction that she did not feel belonged to her.

On her journey, however, she will encounter someone who will make her initiation feel like hell.

Pairing: Eric Coulter x reader

Word count: 3.3k

"Wake up, or you'll be late," a woman with short bobbed hair entered Ellie's room, opening the blinds to let in the morning rays. She stood, hands on hips, wearing a displeased expression. "What were you up to last night? I heard you come back late, too late."

"I was with Anne," Ellie stretched, trying to awaken her still-sleepy muscles.

"Always up to something, you two," the woman continued to complain as she left Ellie's room, closing the door behind her and yelling for Ellie to get ready for the Test.

"Good morning to you too, Mom," Ellie thought as she rose to begin dressing, opting for a simple white suit with a black turtleneck to wear underneath.

She took a quick shower to fully wake up and paused to look at herself in the mirror. Her long brown hair framed her pale face, caused by the little time she actually spent outdoors during the day; she preferred the night.

She left her hair down that day, the sky covered with dense clouds and the wind blowing strongly as she stepped out of the house, tousling her hair.

As she exited the building, she was greeted by Anne, who approached her with a big smile, jumping onto her and wrapping her arms around Ellie's neck. "Hi, Ellie!"

"Hi, Anne. I see you're in a good mood," despite their conversation from the previous evening, Anne seemed like her usual self, tears replaced by a big smile.

"There's no point in moping, don't you think? And besides, we still have the whole day to spend together," she said, starting to walk, trying to catch up with the rest of the group of Candors.

Ellie adjusted her jacket, feeling chilly. "You're right, this might as well be the last one."

Anne tried not to let what her best friend had just said affect her; the smile was in danger of fading the more she thought about it. Their separation was inevitable, she knew that well, but it didn't hurt any less.

They quickened their pace and finally joined their companions, who were chatting animatedly among themselves, ignoring the two girls nearby and casting glances in their direction.

Neither of them let the comments they overheard about themselves sway them, walking with their heads held high until they reached the building where they would take part in the test.

"Everything will be alright," Ellie whispered into Anne's ear, seeing her agitated; she was nervously biting her cuticles.

"It's just that... Ellie, what if the test says I'm something I don't believe I am?"

Ellie looked at her with a touch of pity; anxiety consumed her from within every time they had an important event, and the Attitude Test was the most crucial day of their lives.

In contrast, she was calm; her hands tingled from the long wait that would lead to The Choosing Ceremony, her only chance for escape.

"You don't have to choose what the test tells you, you know that," she replied, joining the queue with her peers, observing the boys and girls from other factions doing the same.

Anne spoke to her, but if she were honest, she wasn't listening; she had become lost in watching the different groups of youths join their respective lines. It was a beautiful sight to see five distinct lines, neatly separated by five different colors.

Slowly but steadily, the line moved, letting hundreds of boys and girls from all factions into a massive hall with seats for each of them; a woman dressed in blue with a tightly pulled chignon stood in front of a blackboard, her gaze stern as she watched the youths enter.

Once everyone was seated and silence fell over the room, the woman began to speak, explaining the history of their city, the utility of the Attitude Test, and the importance of the Choosing Ceremony. These were crucial for maintaining order within their society.

But Ellie wasn't exactly paying attention; a notebook on her thigh and a small pen in hand, she doodled random lines on the paper; she didn't care to pay attention, she just wanted lunchtime to arrive so they could start with the tests.

That was her only thought for the next few hours, with the woman's voice in the background and Anne beside her continuing to nibble at her cuticles.

A bell signaled the end of the long lesson, prompting the students to split into various small groups for lunchtime. She and Anne took a table apart from the others, away from any other group to spend some uninterrupted time.

"Was the lesson that boring?" Anne asked her, nibbling on a piece of meat, having no appetite.

Ellie shrugged, continuing to eat. "A bit, it's stuff we already know," she said with her mouth full, looking at Anne. "These lessons are pointless."

Anne looked around the lively cafeteria, sighing before pushing away the plate in front of her. "If I eat anymore, I'll vomit."

They fell into silence until five volunteers, each from a different faction, entered the cafeteria to call two students at a time. The redhead began to fidget more, her hands trembling as she watched her peers leave the cafeteria to take the test.

Ellie took her hand, running her thumb over the back of it to try to comfort her. It pained her to see the person closest to her in such a state of anxiety, but alas, Ellie was the last person capable of consoling anyone.

"I can't do this," Anne said, holding her head in her free hand. Her palms were starting to sweat, and Ellie tried to ignore it so as not to make her feel worse; she was disgusted by having her sweaty hand on hers.

The ten students remained inside the rooms for just over five minutes each, some longer than others, and in no time, the second set of students was called.

The cafeteria was now engulfed in silence, each student engrossed in thoughts about their future. Would they leave everything behind just because the test gave them a different result from their original faction?

Almost ten minutes later, the volunteers emerged again.

"For the Candor, Anne Bishop and Ellie Black," the Candor called before returning to the corridor from which he had come, expecting the girls to follow him.

With great calm, they got up, leaving the cafeteria to finally make their way to the rooms where they would take the test. Anne didn't let go of Ellie's hand until they were standing in front of two separate doors.

"Good luck," Ellie whispered to Anne as they entered their respective rooms. The door closed immediately behind her, leaving her alone with a woman dressed entirely in black.

The room was completely covered in mirrors with a chair in the center, the woman was typing something on the computer without showing any sign of having seen Ellie, who stopped to observe her.

She was an Asian woman with long black hair and clothing typical of the Dauntless faction, perhaps the sleek black jacket was too big for her. Ellie noticed a tattoo on the back of her neck but couldn't make out what it was, her hairs was on the way.

The woman turned around, a fairly serene expression on her face. "Nervous?" she asked, smiling at her. "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt."

"No," Ellie replied, still standing.

The woman gestured for her to take a seat in the chair. "Make yourself comfortable, I'll be with you in a second," she said, returning to enter data into the computer.

Ellie observed the room, her image being reflected multiple times, creating a strange optical illusion.

"My name is Tori," the woman said, turning towards her with a reassuring smile and a curious gaze. "I've never seen a Candor so quiet before."

"There's a first time for everything," Ellie replied quickly, irritated by the phrase that had been repeated to her her whole life. She looked ahead, ignoring the glare Tori sent her way.

"Now I'll attach these. They'll allow me to see your choices," Tori said, attaching two suction cups to Ellie's temples. A slight shock passed through Ellie's body. "Drink."

She handed Ellie a small cup containing a slightly blue liquid, its consistency resembling that of water. Perhaps Tori sensed her insecurity and wanted to reassure her that it was harmless, but Ellie took a deep breath before bringing the cup to her lips and swallowing the liquid.

In a few seconds, she felt a strange sensation, like dizziness, before closing her eyes and reopening them; she immediately noticed how the room had changed, the Dauntless woman had disappeared, and the room had widened.

The simulation had begun.

She rose from the chair she had been sitting on to inspect the room and noticed how the door had also changed, but when she reached out to touch one of the mirrors, a voice interrupted her.

"Choose!"

Ellie spun around abruptly, but when she tried to figure out who had spoken, she was met only by her reflection. When she turned back again to touch the mirror, she found two different pedestals in front of her.

One displayed a slice of cheese, while on the other rested a dagger. Ellie immediately reached for the dagger; it would be useful in various situations and objectively much more useful than a simple piece of cheese.

In an instant, the pedestals disappeared, leaving the room empty again.

Ellie observed the dagger in her hands, the cold blade against her palm sending shivers down her spine. What would happen if she even lightly pressed the blade into her palm?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a fierce growl, and a large dog with froth around its mouth began to charge at her; she stood still, waiting for the dog to come close enough to defend herself and, if necessary, attack.

"Oh, a puppy!"

Another voice chimed in, but this time, when Ellie turned, a little girl dressed in white stood behind her. She observed her for a few seconds, completely forgetting about the dog that was about to attack her.

However, at her feet, a whimper caught her attention; a puppy.

She looked around; the fierce dog from before had disappeared, replaced by an adorable puppy. She bent down to pet it, noticing out of the corner of her eye how the little girl was slowly approaching.

She shifted her gaze from the puppy for a second, just in time to see the little girl's happy face contort into an expression of fear. The growl returned, and when she looked back at the dog, she saw how the sweet puppy had turned back into the fierce dog from moments before.

The latter lunged at the little girl, but Ellie stopped it in time by throwing herself onto it and plunging the dagger into the animal's body. She closed her eyes; she didn't like the idea of hurting an animal regardless of its actions.

But she didn't feel the dagger hit anything, and when she opened her eyes, she noticed she wasn't in the room full of mirrors anymore, but rather on a bus, an old man reading the newspaper next to her.

Ellie immediately noticed the image of a man on the front page, with a caption calling him a brutal murderer.

The man reading the newspaper lowered it, eyeing the girl and narrowing his eyes. "Do you know him?" he asked, pointing to the man's face on the front page, his voice trembling.

Ellie had never seen him before, yet there was something familiar about him, like an invisible thread connecting them. She wanted to answer him, to tell him that maybe she had seen him somewhere before, but she stopped herself before a single word escaped her mouth.

She couldn't.

She decided to ignore the man, looking straight ahead and ignoring his pleas.

The man's pleas turned into distant lament, and Ellie closed her eyes, reopening them immediately after. She was back in the initial room, Tori next to her, observing the computer screen.

"The Test gone well" Tori removed the suction cups she had previously placed on Ellie's temples, returning to the computer to input more data. "You've been identified as Dauntless. I hope to see you in a few days."

She turned towards Ellie, smiling and gesturing that she could leave the room.

Ellie didn't linger on the chair any longer than necessary, leaving as soon as she was given the green light. She stood still in the hallway for a few seconds, hoping to encounter Anne, but a volunteer urged her to leave to make room for the next group.

She was ushered out through the back door where various youths from different factions were talking among themselves, some happier than others. She tried to scan the crowd for her best friend but without success; it was as if she had vanished into thin air.

She attempted to wait for her for several minutes, even an hour, but eventually, bored and likely assuming Anne had left without her, she headed home.

During her journey, the sky clouded over and a few drops began to fall, but she didn't seek shelter, too lost in her thoughts.

Dauntless? Could she really be one of them?

Her heart began to beat fast in her chest; she knew she would be leaving her faction, but the idea that the day had finally arrived filled her with a strange anxiety.

The unknown worried her; she was aware of the challenges of initiation among the Dauntless and wondered if she would be able to pass it.

She hurried home as the rain began to intensify, the sky growing darker, and she needed to see Anne, to know how she was and especially what her result had been.

The rules were clear; it was forbidden to reveal the result of the Attitude Test, but the two friends had sworn to tell each other at least.

When she arrived home, she was relieved to notice that her mother was still at work, so she took the opportunity to leave the house again and take the elevator to Anne's floor. In less than five minutes, she stood in front of Anne's apartment door and knocked, patiently waiting for a response.

The door opened shortly after, but it wasn't Anne who greeted her; instead, it was her mother. Her expression changed, a genuine smile appeared on her face. "Oh, hi Ellie! How are you, dear? Come in!"

The woman made space for her to enter. "Good morning, Mrs. Bishop. I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

"I'm good, dear. How did the test go?" Mrs. Bishop gave her a warm hug, a small part of her old faction never left her.

"Good, I'm happy with the result. Have you seen Anne?"

The woman's expression darkened, the smile fading. "Uh, she's in her room. I don't think she's happy with the result. She came home early because she wasn't feeling well during the test," she whispered the last part to avoid being heard by her daughter, who had returned home in tears.

Ellie thanked her before heading towards Anne's room. Some of their photos were hung on the door; she stood still, observing them for a while, reliving the countless memories that would be lost in less than twenty-four hours.

Ellie knocked, and shortly after she opened the door, closing it behind her.

Anne was shattered, her face covered in tears as she hugged the pillow and didn't even look at Ellie when she entered. Unsure of what to do, her friend glanced around, feeling slightly uncomfortable seeing her best friend in tears and being unable to help her.

Trying to regain some composure, Anne sat on the bed and wiped away her tears. She made space on the bed for Ellie, who gladly sat down, putting an arm around her shoulders.

And that's when Anne burst into endless tears, burying her face in Ellie's shoulder. Ellie began to stroke her back to provide some comfort.

It's unknown how long they stayed there, with Anne crying and Ellie thinking about the Choosing Ceremony that would take place the next morning. She glanced down to see her friend lying down, using her legs as a pillow.

When Anne managed to calm down, she got up to go to the bathroom, and shortly after, she returned with a still-red face and clothes wrinkled from the position she had been in.

"I guess it didn't go very well, I imagine," Ellie whispered, trying to be as tactful as possible, and she sighed with relief when she saw that Anne sniffed without falling into tears again.

"Amity, my result," Anne said, looking at the floor and continuing to nibble on her cuticles.

Ellie nodded. "Dauntless."

Anne gave her a small smile. "It wasn't hard to figure out."

"I could say the same about you," but Ellie's words seemed to hurt Anne somehow, causing her eyes to well up again

"Anne, are you okay?"

Ellie approached her again, but her friend recoiled when she tried to touch her arm. "Yes, I just felt sick during the test. That's all."

"Are you sure, I—" 

"Can you just go, please?" Anne's tone was sharp, catching Ellie off guard. She had never received such treatment from her best friend before. Sensing her mistake, Anne closed her eyes. "I need to think..."

Ellie left without giving her a chance to finish her sentence, irritated by her behavior. She always tried to do her best for her, to comfort her even if she wasn't capable of it, and the fact that she was being dismissed like that when she was just trying to help bothered her a lot.

She returned home to seclude herself in her room, hoping her mother would leave her alone until dinnertime, but luck was not on her side that day. In fact, when she closed the door behind her, she saw her mother sitting at the table in the living room.

Her gaze lifted as she saw her only daughter entering the house in a hurry, a un-happy expression on her face as she tried to avoid eye contact with her.

"How did the attitude test go? Are you pleased with the result?" Despite her feigned interest in her daughter's affairs, she couldn't deny she was curious about which faction her daughter belonged to.

"Well, goodbye," Ellie replied, slamming her bedroom door shut, bidding her mother farewell for the last time. The next day, she would have to go to work early; many of her colleagues would be absent due to the Choosing Ceremony to accompany their children.

And Ellie would wait until late at night to have dinner, wanting to avoid as much contact with her mother as possible, knowing she would try to get her to reveal which faction she had chosen.

She would find out the next day, from the whispers in the corridors after the Ceremony, but she didn't want to give her mother the satisfaction of knowing before everyone else, especially seeing that content little smile knowing she would be rid of her.

She hated to admit it, only Anne knew what she felt towards her mother; she hated her, hated her with all her being, but despite that, she harbored a love for her that she couldn't even put into words.

She always tried to appear worthy in her mother's eyes, even unintentionally, but it was as if everything she did was wrong and branded her as the family's shame, the black sheep tarnishing her father's name.

And that's how Ellie fell asleep, still fully dressed and with tears in her eyes, thinking about her best friend, about what she would leave behind by choosing the Dauntless the next day.

Perhaps it was her time, her opportunity, and she wouldn't let anyone ruin that day for her.

Not even someone she considered a sister.

Omg i need capther 4😭😭😭

you ask and you receive!

Knowledge pt.4

check the other parts here!

Summary:

The story begins the same for everyone, on the day of the ceremony, one of the most important for all the kids who take part in it every year, and Michelle will not miss the opportunity to leave behind a faction that she did not feel belonged to her.

On her journey, however, she will encounter someone who will make her initiation feel like hell.

Ppairing: Eric Coulter x Reader

Word count: 6k

"You've got quite a nasty bruise," remarked Sunny as she sat down beside her on the bed, later that evening after their first training session. "You're lucky it's not broken."

"It hurts," Michelle said, still holding the ice pack against her cheekbone. The icy sensation kept her awake. She had just woken up from a long nap after returning from training.

"Did you go to the infirmary?"

"No, Four checked it," Michelle recalled Four; he had stayed back to assess the damage, having seen the hard hit she took. He commended her agility and speed in dodging blows, encouraging her to continue improving those aspects of her technique.

But she lacked strength. If she had attacked Eric, she would have lost immediately.

"Hmm..." Sunny got up to climb onto her own bed, bidding her goodnight.

Michelle lay awake in bed, staring at the cot above hers, listening to the snores of some of her comrades. She wasn't sleepy at all.

She remained lying in bed for what felt like an eternity, waiting for her comrades to fall completely asleep. She didn't want any of them to rat her out for leaving the dormitory at night.

When she felt like everyone was asleep, she waited another five minutes to be sure; then, from under her pillow, she took out the photo of her and Anne, tracing her best friend's face with her fingertip.

It had only been a day since they parted ways, yet it felt like an eternity.

She quickly got up and grabbed her boots, not putting them on right away to avoid making noise. She opened the metal door very slowly and slipped out, donning her boots and covering herself against the cold with a leather jacket.

The corridors were completely empty that night, like the days to come. It had become Michelle's routine to sleep after training and then spend the entire night training on her own.

She found it easier to train when no one was there to bother her, and she was lucky not to find anyone else training at night, or she would have gotten into trouble in no time.

And she didn't want to be face to face with Eric again, who, after their sparring on the first day of initiation, had finally left her alone. It was as if she didn't exist anymore, and she was grateful for that. His attention was the last thing she wanted.

She didn't know why Eric had decided to stop tormenting her, making snide remarks about her incapability and weakness, and maybe it was better that way. Eric himself wasn't pleased with such an order, received from higher-ups.

He had to leave her alone, let her follow her path.

During that first week, Michelle found herself spending more and more time with Sunny, a ray of sunshine in that cold, dark place. Having a friend had helped her a lot, especially with her little aiming problem.

She had improved at shooting, finally managing to make critical hits on the target. Nothing extraordinary, but it was better than how she had started a week earlier.

However, that night someone joined her in the gym, scaring her to death when they spoke.

"Isn't it a bit late?" Lauren's voice made her jump, causing the Dauntless leader to chuckle. "You're always so lost in thought that you never notice me."

"You're quiet, it's different," Michelle replied, watching her approach, dressed in heavier clothes.

She didn't know whether to go back to training or grab her things and leave; she was just waiting for Lauren's reaction to know what to do. But when the woman started taking off the extra clothes, she was almost surprised.

Lauren approached her, now wearing only leggings and a long-sleeved shirt. "You're weak."

Michelle rolled her eyes, returning to hitting the punching bag. "I hadn't figured that out," she replied sarcastically, annoyed at how obvious it was.

She trained every afternoon and every night, yet she couldn't put on muscle; all her comrades were starting to get stronger, more defined, while she remained stagnant.

Lauren smiled before moving closer to the punching bag to look her in the face. "The fact is, you don't eat enough. For breakfast, you just have a cup of coffee, for lunch, you stay light because you're afraid of feeling sick in the afternoon, and often you skip dinner in the evening."

She kept hitting the bag, her knuckles and arms throbbing with pain, but she gritted her teeth and kept going. She thought about Lauren's words and had to admit she was right.

She slowed down her punches, eventually stopping to look at her, expecting some advice or something of the sort. Lauren immediately realized she had her full attention and smiled.

"You need to eat more, have more substantial meals, otherwise you burn more than you eat. You should gorge on meat, in short, eat as much as you can, and for breakfast, go for eggs maybe."

Michelle was used to eating little even when she was in her old faction; she and Anne preferred to grab food and move to a less crowded place, so they could carry less food with them.

She nodded, turning back to look at the punching bag and then at her knuckles, bleeding. The only reason the bag wasn't stained with blood was because of its black color.

"Come on, I'll show you how to wrap them properly," Lauren took her by the arm, dragging her towards one of the benches scattered around the gym.

As the woman got up to fetch the wraps, Michelle turned her head to gaze at the sky outside the windows, still as black as pitch. It must have been around four in the morning.

Lauren returned shortly after with a small white box and knelt in front of her; she took out a white bottle, cotton, and the wraps from it.

"It's going to sting," she warned before dipping the cotton into the bottle and dabbing it on Michelle's knuckles. Michelle gritted her teeth and closed her eyes; she felt her hands catch fire, but fortunately, the sensation didn't last long.

With great care, Lauren cleaned her knuckles with the disinfectant before taking the wraps and, showing her the most effective way to do it, wrapped them around her knuckles. As she handled the wraps, she glanced at her stealthily, wondering why they wanted her to be kept under observation.

She would never disobey orders, but she wondered why she, of all people, was important. Unlike her, Eric was anything but pleased with the orders, annoyed by the obligation to leave her alone.

She couldn't understand Eric's behavior; he hadn't always been like this, yet now his greatest pleasure was to make people around him miserable, showing off his superiority at every opportunity.

"There, all done," she whispered when she secured the wraps to ensure they wouldn't come loose during the day. Lauren stood up, dusting off her knees, and took a seat beside the girl, giving her a light shove. "Listen to my advice, eat more."

Michelle nodded again without taking her eyes off her wrapped knuckles.

She was grateful that the fights hadn't started yet; she wouldn't stand a chance against anyone. She was fast, able to avoid getting hit, but that wouldn't earn her any points.

Remembering something Lauren had said to her one of the first times they spoke, she turned to her, catching the woman a bit off guard with her ice-blue eyes. She had never noticed it before.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, I'm here for that."

"Will you help me become stronger?" Lauren was confused by that question, and Michelle clarified, "I can't win if I'm just on the defensive."

The woman smiled at her more than before and got up from the bench, heading towards the mat. "Come?"

Michelle followed her onto the mat, standing in front of her, waiting for instructions, but Lauren had something else in mind.

"Let's pretend we're fighting. I won't hit you. I just want to see what tactics you have and how you move." Lauren took a fighting stance, and Michelle immediately copied, bringing her hands up in front of her face.

They started circling the mat just as she had done with Eric, waiting for an attack, and soon after, Lauren lunged at her. Michelle noticed the slight lunge she made before actually throwing herself at her and dodged it.

They went on like this for a good ten minutes, with Lauren attacking and Michelle staying on the defensive until the leader called off the fight.

This time, Michelle didn't feel out of breath. Sure, she had gone easier than with Eric, but she was pleased to notice that at least her stamina had increased.

"You're good, but you're right. If you only stay on the defense, you won't win." Lauren observed her for a moment before creating a plan in her head. "Try this: you're quick, use it to your advantage to hit critical points like the throat or temple."

Lauren approached her. "Now I'll show you how to do it, and you have to try it on me, okay?"

Michelle nodded and watched Lauren's movements, trying to copy them immediately afterward. Unsuccessfully, however.

They continued to train, but she began to get frustrated finding herself on the ground over and over again. She huffed, getting up for the hundredth time and getting into position.

"Think of something that pisses you off or someone you want to smash in the face," the leader tried to encourage her.

Michelle closed her eyes and thought of something that annoyed her, so much so that she hated it. It didn't take long for Eric's image to appear in her mind, telling her she couldn't do it, that she was a liability and a waste of resources.

She opened her eyes and nodded to Lauren to start, the woman in front of her glad to see something different in her eyes.

Lauren lunged at her, and with speed, Michelle dodged the blow, attempting to strike back at her temple, almost succeeding. "Better, keep it up!" Lauren encouraged her.

This time, Michelle took the initiative, attacking Lauren's defense, trying to hit her throat, but only managed to strike her stomach, causing her to step back.

They circled on the mat for a bit before Lauren returned to the attack, landing blow after blow and only managing to hit Michelle's shoulder once. However, Michelle didn't give up and countered, hitting her abdomen and blocking her blows.

In a moment of distraction, though, Lauren managed to sweep her feet out from under her, tripping her.

Michelle stood there, tired and sweaty, trying to catch her breath.

"That's better. Once you eat more and build muscle, you could really become one of the best among the transfers," Lauren said, sitting down on the mat, exhausted from the workout.

It had been a while since she sparred with someone so fast. It was hard to block her blows, let alone land one unless she was distracted.

"Pay attention to your feet too, otherwise you'll end up on your ass," both girls laughed.

“Why could I be one of the best?” It was a legitimate question that had come to mind as soon as Lauren mentioned it, and Michelle straightened up to look her in the face, her muscles sore.

Lauren sighed, pushing her hair away from her face. “The guys I train with assume that just because they're Dauntless-born, they have a guaranteed spot here. But you have good technique, you're a natural force.”

Michelle blushed at the compliment and looked down, fiddling with her fingers.

“How are you doing in the rankings?” Lauren asked her.

"Tenth," Michelle said, turning to look at the board on the wall. Thankfully, her name wasn't below the red line; for now, they were only based on results from pistol training.

But it made her anxious to be so close to the red line, it was the last safety net, and one mistake would be enough to drop her below.

"Not bad, especially considering you started from scratch," Michelle shot her a glare; she knew those weren't good results, she didn't want to hear nonsense. Lauren raised her eyebrows.

They remained silent for a while, and when Michelle turned her head, she noticed the sky beginning to lighten. She got up from the mat to grab her things and head back to the dormitory for a well-deserved shower.

"It's been a pleasure. If you ever need to train again, you know who to ask," Lauren grabbed her belongings too and left before Michelle, closing the doors behind her. Michelle wondered what she was doing out at that hour dressed like that.

It wasn't her business, and as she had come to understand during that week, it was better not to pry into other people's affairs. She decided to take all the time in the world to return to the dormitory, not wanting to face everyone else just yet.

She decided to take a different route and found herself in one of the corridors overlooking the Pit. The shops were all still closed, naturally, but she noticed the tattoo parlor was already open, its lights on.

Deciding to pass by, she walked past the staircase that would lead her down to the Pit and then back to the dormitory. She stopped in front of it and saw movement inside, the same man who had helped her find the gym on the first day of initiation.

Michelle paused to look at the designs on display. She didn't realize the man was approaching the entrance until she saw him standing beside her out of the corner of her eye.

They silently observed the drawings for a while. "Do you like them?" he asked without shifting his gaze from the window.

"They're not my style, but they're nice," Michelle replied.

"Do you want to take a look inside?" the man moved towards the entrance, glancing back to see if she would follow. He smiled when she joined him after a second of hesitation. "I'm Tyson, by the way. We never properly introduced ourselves."

"Michelle."

"I know, I've heard about you," his tone was amused as he glanced at her, but Michelle seemed not to appreciate it. "Don't worry, only good things. Except for the punch you took from Eric on the first day."

Tyson laughed, and Michelle ignored him, moving away to approach one of the many columns where several designs were hung. They were beautiful; she got lost in observing them one by one, but only a few were to her liking.

She wasn't particularly fond of the designs themselves; she preferred geometric shapes, interweaving lines, or similar things.

Tyson joined her. "Do you want one? It's early, but I could make an exception for you."

Michelle looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Lauren and Tori weren't kidding; you're not much of a talker, huh?"

He started to walk away, somewhat disappointed that he couldn't seem to have a conversation with the girl, but her voice stopped him. "If I draw something for you, would you tattoo it?"

Her question was unusual; he had never had anyone want to tattoo something they had drawn before, but he nodded. "Do you have something in mind?"

It was her turn to nod. "I'll be back in a few days."

When she reached the dormitory, it was probably around seven in the morning. Most of her companions were already up and having breakfast, but when she went to take a shower, she encountered Tina trying to dry her tears in front of the mirror.

Michelle hesitated, contemplating if sneaking away before Tina noticed her would be a good idea, but the girl turned towards her, looking at her. 

Tina had red and swollen eyes, her face twisted in a sad expression, and she sniffled occasionally. Saying that Michelle felt uncomfortable would be an understatement.

It was embarrassing, and she decided to move towards the showers, hoping to avoid the impending conversation, but she didn't have time to undress and turn on the water before Tina's voice distracted her.

"What am I doing wrong?" her voice was interrupted by sobs and crying. Michelle leaned her head against the shower door before turning towards her, trying to figure out what she wanted her to do.

"I do, I do everything for him! And he treats me like this!" she started crying again, and feeling guilty, Michelle approached. Tina quickly hugged her and cried on her shoulder.

Michelle stood still for several minutes before someone else entered the bathroom, luckily, it was Chloe. The girl always had the need to show off and help anyone in trouble to improve her image, and things hadn't changed at all.

When she saw Tina in tears, she reached her, forcefully pushing Michelle aside. "What did you do?" she accused, turning towards her and stroking Tina's hair.

"It's not her fault," Tina managed to say through tears.

Michelle didn't stay to watch the scene unfold and immediately stepped under the hot water jet, cursing as she remembered the wraps. She removed them and winced as the sensation of the water droplets hit the open wounds. It wasn't pleasant.

Fortunately, Michelle heard Tina's complaints fade away from the bathroom, indicating she would have the chance to get ready in peace.

She wished she could stay under the hot water jet for hours, but she remembered Lauren's advice to have a good breakfast, so she forced herself to step out and get ready. She put on simple black sweatpants, comfortable shoes, and a hoodie, knowing that today they would start hand-to-hand combat.

She braided her hair into two loose braids and hurried out of the dormitory, reaching the cafeteria in a few minutes. Every muscle in her body was on fire as she tried not to bump into anyone while wrapping her knuckles in motion. They were still bleeding, and she didn't want to mess around, especially not while eating with the smell of blood in the air.

When she arrived at the cafeteria, she scanned the room for Sunny and soon spotted her, sitting with Four, Max, and another initiate she had never talked to before. She joined them and took a seat next to her friend, who greeted her with a big hug.

"There you are! I was wondering where you were; you weren't anywhere when I woke up," her cheerful tone made Michelle smile as she grabbed scrambled eggs and, of course, her usual cup of coffee.

Four looked up upon hearing Sunny and glanced at her friend next to her, confused, wondering where she was, and especially why she was out of the dormitory when it wasn't allowed. He shrugged it off, maybe he had misunderstood.

He didn't stay long to listen to the guys' conversation and grabbed his things to head to the training quarters, finding Eric already there. He was standing in front of the whiteboard, engrossed in something.

Eric slightly turned his head upon earing Four entering, then returned his gaze to the whiteboard. "They're odd, one won't be fighting today," Eric said simply when Four joined him, maintaining a certain distance.

That made Eric smile.

Four glanced over the pairs Eric had created, and when he reached the end, he saw Michelle's name alone. He furrowed his brows and turned to Eric. "Why Michelle? There are initiates worse than her."

"Because she's not capable, she lacks strength, and the sooner she fights, the sooner she'll end up below the red line, which the higher-ups don't want, and you know that well, Four," his tone was serious as he spoke without looking at him, standing straight, still irritated by the orders that had been strictly given to the two of them, Lauren, and Max.

"No, I don't know. I've seen less capable people than her, and we both have seen how capable she is," he insisted.

Eric turned towards him, a displeased smirk on his face as he took a step closer. He was slightly taller, just enough to assert dominance. "Because I've decided so, don't contradict me, Four."

When Michelle and Sunny reached the quarters, they were surprised to see some of their companions already there, positioned in front of the blackboard near the mats.

"They must be the pairs, come on!" Sunny grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her in front of the blackboard, and indeed, she was right; there were the pairs for the day.

Arlo - Connor Patrick - Thomas Bowie - Andy Chloe - Max Tina - Sunny Michelle -

Michelle?

Furrowing her brows, Michelle turned to find Four, ignoring Tina's arrival; she walked away from the group to join him on one of the benches, but before he even looked up, he responded.

"It wasn't my choice," he said.

"It was mine," Eric's icy voice sent shivers down Michelle's spine, and she immediately stiffened. "Consider it a favor. Now, join the other initiates."

Turning to look at him, she clenched her fists, imagining punching him in the nose. Still tense, she nodded and walked towards her companions, trying to ignore the anger his presence alone stirred within her.

He was insolent, arrogant, and above all, he was a jerk.

She was relieved to know it wasn't just her perception; Tyson had told her some stories about the young leader when he was an initiate as she spent the morning in his shop. Tyson's company was one she was starting to appreciate more and more as the days passed.

"So? You're not fighting?" Max asked when she took a seat among them, arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

She shook her head.

"How come?" Max smiled, and Michelle wished she could wipe that smirk off his face; his inability to be serious for five minutes straight was exhausting.

"I fight tomorrow, we're odd," Michelle simply replied, taking a seat on the floor, ready to endure hours of combat without being able to participate.

On one hand, she was grateful; she had the opportunity to study the fighting style of all her companions, which would help her a lot when it was her turn. But the fact that she, of all people, had been chosen to sit out among them gnawed at her.

It hadn't been Four's decision, but Eric's.

Was it another way of telling her she was incapable? Did she really suck that much? Didn't she deserve to be there with them? Was she not up to their standards?

The more she thought about it, the more she felt tears welling up at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. But she couldn't wallow in self-pity, not with Chloe staring at her from across the mat with an air of superiority.

She would prove to everyone that that was her place. Not theirs.

"Arlo and Connor! On the mat!" Eric shouted, grabbing the attention of the two boys.

They took their places on the mat facing each other, and Arlo seemed much more prepared than Connor; he had a confident air and a stance ready to attack. Although his muscles weren't well-defined, Michelle could see them as he brought his hands up to his face.

Connor, on the other hand, seemed almost awkward in front of him, his cocky and impertinent demeanor from when he was with his little group of friends nowhere to be seen. Michelle smiled at seeing him struggle.

"Begin!" Four signaled the start of the match, and the two boys began circling the mat, waiting for one of them to strike first.

They went on for a good five minutes, and Eric's expression became increasingly bored and frustrated, playing with the piercing on his lip as if to entertain himself somehow.

Michelle had to admit that small action was quite attractive.

When she refocused her attention on her companions after Sunny nudge her with her elbow, she saw Arlo take the first step, closing the distance between them. This caused Connor to retreat and go on the defensive.

"We're not at the playground, let's go!" Eric huffed, and the two boys glanced at him for a split second before turning their attention back to each other.

Arlo closed his eyes for a fraction of a second before reopening them and landing a blow to Connor's face, which he barely parried by bringing his arms up to shield himself. They began grappling, with Arlo on the offensive and Connor on the defensive.

Arlo lunged at him, trying to bring him down, but Connor managed to grab him around the waist and, despite being shorter, he managed to hurl him across the mat.

"Go, Connor!" Chloe cheered, clapping her hands.

"Keep it up!" Patrik chimed in.

Michelle watched them, still somewhat envious that she had never been able to be friends with them when they were kids. But that didn't matter now; she would prove herself to be better than them.

"You'll regret this," Arlo gritted his teeth, getting back up and charging at Connor.

They resumed exchanging punches, occasionally attempting to take each other down without success. Arlo was stronger and taller, but Connor seemed to have better balance and was thinking more with his head than with his fists.

They remained on the mat for half an hour, and just when everyone thought the match would go on indefinitely, Arlo began ruthlessly attacking his opponent after taking a nasty right hook to the face.

He grabbed Connor's head from behind his neck, forcefully bringing it down to bash against his knee. Connor's nose immediately started bleeding, and he brought his hands to his face to try to stem the flow of blood, but Arlo showed no mercy.

He continued to strike wherever he could, targeting the protected face, stomach, and sides. Anywhere he could land a blow.

"Enough! I surrender!" Connor exclaimed, falling awkwardly to the ground after a vicious punch to his left temple.

Michelle observed his fragile figure curled up on the mat, staining it with blood from his undoubtedly broken nose; then, she shifted her gaze to Arlo, standing next to him, looking down at Connor with empty eyes. He was panting, his face flushed as he watched drops of sweat fall onto the mat.

"What a mess," Michelle whispered, and Sunny turned to look at her, tearing her eyes away from the battered boy in front of her.

"Yeah, I didn't think they'd make us fight to this extent."

"No, I mean the mat," Michelle emphasized, realizing that her friend had interpreted her statement differently.

"Do we have to fight like that too?" Tina, who had sat down next to Michelle, leaned forward to look at Sunny, waiting for an answer. The brunette shrugged.

Michelle thought about how stupid Tina had been to fill herself with earrings and get two piercings at that stage, the only physical one among the three. She would find herself receiving punches from Sunny in a couple of hours, and the girl wasn't stupid; it was obvious that she would target those sensitive areas.

Two Dauntless boys carried Connor to the infirmary. He hadn't lost consciousness, but the blow to his temple had been strong enough to rob him of his balance for a while.

The next two fighters got on the mat without waiting for someone to call them, and only now did Michelle realize what her friend was talking about. Patrik was really big.

In that short week, he had managed to put on an impressive amount of muscle, and Thomas swallowed nervously. Despite this, he showed confidence.

"Begin!" Eric exclaimed, starting to walk around the mat.

Michelle thought that this fight would also last half an hour like the previous one, but Patrik wasted no time and attacked Thomas without giving him a chance to react. He was fast and strong.

Thomas took blows to the throat, making him gasp for breath and stagger. Patrik grabbed him by the arm to pull him closer, elbowing him in the nose, causing more blood to drip onto the mat.

With his left foot, he made him fall and got on top of him, blocking every attempt at defense. Patrik started hitting him in the face, punch after punch, until Thomas stopped trying to defend himself, leaving everyone with a lump in their throats.

"Why doesn't he stop it?" Tina whispered, and Michelle turned to look for Four, but when she didn't see him, she looked for Eric.

What she saw didn't sit well with her at all. Eric was enjoying himself.

"Now that's enough," his voice was almost cheerful, light, very different from before when Connor had withdrawn from the fight.

Four arrived from behind them and bent down to help Thomas, his face disfigured due to swelling and blood, but surprisingly the boy refused assistance and, staggering a bit, got up and headed towards the infirmary on his own.

"Try not to fall into the abyss!" Eric teased, observing Thomas's unstable figure as he moved away from the scene.

"What a jerk," someone whispered in her ear.

"Indeed," Michelle replied to the unfamiliar voice and saw the boy who had sat with them at breakfast. She couldn't remember his name, it was something like Brownie though.

The aforementioned boy got up and got on the mat, soon joined by another boy whom she had never spoken to.

"Who's that?" Michelle asked Sunny.

Sunny turned to her friend, then back to the two boys. "Oh, I think it's Andy? If I'm not mistaken, he was an Erudite with me."

"You don't remember if he was with you?" Tina chimed in.

Sunny shrugged. "I think so, but he was always with the Dauntless. He always hung out with them at school, and if you notice, during meals he's always sitting with them."

"Hmm."

"When you're ready," Four initiated yet another fight, and this time Andy wasted no time. They were both lean but with some muscle, the only physical difference being that Bowie perhaps had about twenty centimeters more than his opponent.

Andy was skilled, but one thing Michelle noticed was that he looked at the point he wanted to hit before striking. However, Bowie seemed unable to grasp his strategy and showed great clumsiness in trying to block the attacks.

She noticed the difference between the first two fights, especially the second one, and this one; here, they seemed like two boys training, fighting against each other without exaggeration, whereas before it seemed like if Eric hadn't ended the fight, one of them would have ended up dead.

Bowie managed to block some blows and even land one himself, but with a quick move, Andy managed to make him lose balance, and when he fell, he hit his head hard on the ground.

"Ow," the boys standing still watching the fight exclaimed.

Bowie grabbed his head with his hands, rolling onto his side. He cursed in pain, and Andy, still standing, turned to look at Eric behind him; the blond nodded at him.

Andy turned back and with a kick to the temple, he knocked out his opponent, celebrating his victory as some of his Erudite friends applauded for him.

Two more Dauntless carried away his limp body. Michelle watched the boy's body being taken away, realizing only now that she would end up below the red line by force, probably becoming the twenty-second with zero points.

Her hands began to tremble at the thought of having to really give her all to make it to the top; initially, she didn't think it would be too difficult, she could easily win by following Lauren and Four's advice, but her fellow initiates were brutal.

She feared the moment when she would have to face Patrik or Arlo, who seemed the most brutal.

She was fast, but their strength was too much to ignore.

"Max, Chloe, on the mat!"

Chloe arrived confident, chest out and head held high, and Michelle hoped with all her might that she would get her ass kicked, and so it was. She managed to put up a good fight against Max, knowing where to strike while the boy acted on instinct, blindly.

But when Max managed to grab her, it was her end.

Chloe got up unsteadily, covering her face, crying. Max's punches had been strong, too strong against her delicate face, and Michelle couldn't hide a satisfied smirk seeing the girl's disfigured face.

It was time for the final showdown, almost three hours after the training began, and it was Sunny's turn to take her place on the mat.

"Good luck," Michelle said, watching her friend rise, who turned to smile at her.

Tina's smile, however, vanished when she realized she would actually have to fight against a friend. "Ready?" she asked.

Sunny didn't answer, waiting for the start of the match. Eric ordered them to begin, and Sunny started circling.

Tina looked worried, her movements uncertain. With each move Sunny made, Tina went on the defensive, ready to block any blow. Sunny struck first, and her opponent covered her face, leaving her abdomen exposed.

And Sunny struck right there.

Tina doubled over, screaming, and soon the gray shirt she was wearing began to darken around the belly button area; she lifted the shirt, exposing the belly button piercing, which was bleeding.

She looked at Sunny with a hurt expression. "What the hell!"

"Stop playing around!" Eric grumbled, annoyed, watching the two girls. Sunny briefly turned to look at the young leader, and Tina took the opportunity to throw a punch.

Sunny recoiled immediately and began hitting Tina, who was too weak to defend herself. She had no defense technique, just raising her hands in front of her face, leaving all other areas exposed, and Sunny repeatedly hit her left ear.

The girl fell to the ground, screaming in pain. Sunny stepped back, continuing to hop around to stay ready in case the girl got back up, but Tina seemed to show no signs of getting up.

Sunny relaxed, lowering her fists and looking at Four, who had moved to her side. "What should I do?" she asked him.

Four sighed and indicated to Max, who was watching the scene angrily, to help him lift Tina up.

"The fight isn't over," Eric said, remaining where he was, his arms as usual crossed over his chest.

Michelle hated to agree with him, but what had just happened couldn't be considered a fight; a couple of punches, and it was over?

"Don't you think it's time to end it?" Four said through clenched teeth as he gently lifted the girl.

"If she can't get up on her own, she can consider herself out of the initiation."

"It's not fair!" Max exclaimed loudly, receiving a deadly glare from Eric, who laughed in his face.

"Not fair?" he laughed. "Your little friend can't make sensible choices, and you think it's fair to let her win?"

"No, but-"

"No buts!" When Eric shouted, everyone fell silent, even the other initiates on the other side stopped to watch the scene from afar. "Either she gets up, or she's out. Her choice."

Eric remained impassive.

Four let go of Tina's arm, making sure she didn't fall to the ground badly, and walked away from the scene. Even Max, with much reluctance, stepped away from the mat.

Tina, still on the ground, sobbed. She tried to pull herself up, very slowly, and Sunny watched, waiting to see what to do.

When she got back on her feet, she wiped away her tears with her sleeve and got back into an attacking position. She lunged at Sunny, but Sunny blocked her, hitting her again on the ear where she had already made her earrings bleed.

Tina fell onto the mat, bringing an end to the fight.

Knowledge pt.10

check here for the orther parts!

Summary:

The story begins the same for everyone, on the day of the ceremony, one of the most important for all the kids who take part in it every year, and Michelle will not miss the opportunity to leave behind a faction that she did not feel belonged to her.

On her journey, however, she will encounter someone who will make her initiation feel like hell.

Pairing: Eric Coulter x reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Michelle struggled to piece together the hazy fragments of the previous night while the pain in her head intensified. Her disoriented state made it difficult to grasp the reality of her situation. When she finally dragged herself out of bed and ventured to the cafeteria, the noise and chaos only exacerbated her discomfort.

Her eyes scanned the bustling room for Sunny, hoping for a familiar face amidst the clamor. She found Sunny at a table, surrounded by others she vaguely recognized. As Michelle approached, she prepared herself for the disapproval she anticipated. Instead, Sunny greeted her with a knowing smile, which only deepened Michelle's confusion.

The table’s occupants included Four, who appeared absorbed in a conversation with a girl about something related to the Wall. Bowie, with his tired eyes and somber expression, sat beside him. To Michelle’s surprise, a familiar face she couldn’t quite place joined her at the table.

“Good morning! The sun is shining, and I heard you finally woke up,” the guy said cheerfully, giving Michelle a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Don’t torment her,” Tyson said, taking a seat to her left and offering a polite greeting to his companions. “Rough night, huh? Where did you disappear to after a certain point, darling?”

Michelle was about to respond when Sunny interrupted. “So, you came to the party? I didn’t see you.”

“Yes, that might be my fault, sweetheart,” he said, leaning in closer and throwing an arm around Michelle’s shoulders. “I found our dear friend here trying to sneak away without even stepping foot into the party. Drink water, lots of it. It’ll help with the headache.”

Sunny’s smirk widened as she watched Michelle, who now felt an uncomfortable sense of self-consciousness. The combination of her headache and the attention made her increasingly uneasy. “What?” she croaked, her voice still rough from sleep.

“I wanted to fill you in on what you missed last night,” the guy continued. “We thought you had either hidden away in the dorms or, worse, in the gym. But it seems you had an equally interesting evening.”

At those words, the guy to her right, who had been chewing on his eggs, turned to her. As he realized what Sunny was referring to, he almost choked on his food, unable to suppress his laughter.

Michelle glanced between Sunny and the others, her confusion growing. “What? What’s going on?” she demanded, her voice rising in frustration.

Sunny’s grin was now almost playful. “Oh, just some fun details about the party and your eventful evening,” she said cryptically.

Michelle’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and she tried to piece together what had transpired. As the fragments of memory began to surface, she hoped that the information she’d missed could help her make sense of the bewildering situation she found herself in.

Tyson's chuckle only added to Michelle's growing sense of dread. "Well, let’s just say whoever you spent the night with left a mark," he said with a smirk. As Michelle’s confusion deepened, Tyson pointed to a spot on her neck, which seemed to radiate an inexplicable sensitivity. "Your prince charming left a nice hickey here and here."

"And you told me there wasn’t anyone interesting, yet…" Sunny teased, her tone light but her gaze scrutinizing. "Anyway, nice to meet you, Sunny," she added, turning to the two men beside her.

"Tyson."

"Axl," the man who had been with her the night before replied. Michelle’s memory of him began to crystallize, but it was still clouded by the haze of her recollections.

At that moment, her focus shifted from introductions to the sudden awareness of the marks on her neck. Her hands flew to the area, and she tried to piece together what had happened after their intense kissing session. The realization that the previous night had been more real than she had initially thought hit her with an unsettling force. 

She scanned the cafeteria discreetly, hoping to spot the person in question, but he was nowhere to be seen. The tension in her chest tightened.

"Looking for someone?" Four’s voice cut through her thoughts, causing her to jump. The table fell silent, and Michelle’s gaze met his. The intensity in his ocean-blue eyes made her feel as though he was piercing through her defenses, seeing every hidden thought and fear.

Four knew. And he was judging her.

"Uh, I’d say that’s exactly it. Our Michelle is looking for her knight from last night," the girl’s playful comment did little to ease the tension. "Everything okay?"

Four’s penetrating stare felt like an accusation. It was as if he believed she had committed a grave mistake. "I warned you. Now it’s up to you," he said cryptically before standing and leaving the cafeteria with what Michelle assumed was Lauren.

The weight of Four’s words sank in like a crushing wave. Michelle’s heart raced. "What’s he talking about?"

Sunny’s expression shifted to one of concern as the atmosphere in the room grew dense, almost suffocating. It felt as though the air had been sucked out of the cafeteria with Four’s departure, leaving Michelle gasping for breath.

"Nothing. He was referring to nothing," Michelle said quickly, trying to mask her worry. She grabbed a serving of scrambled eggs and placed them on her plate, attempting to divert attention. "What did you want to tell me?"

Sunny’s confused and worried expression vanished almost instantly, replaced by a look of keen interest. Her eyes sparkled as she leaned forward, resting on her elbows. “Don’t you notice anyone missing here at the table?”

Michelle looked around, her gaze searching for the missing individuals, but she didn’t spot anyone out of the ordinary. When she turned back to Sunny, the latter rolled her eyes with a hint of impatience. “Tina and Max.”

Michelle glanced around again, realizing with a start that Tina and Max were indeed absent. They weren’t sitting at any of the nearby tables, nor did she recall seeing them in the dorms.

“Are they the ones from last night?” Axl asked, nodding toward Sunny. Sunny confirmed with a nod.

But Michelle’s focus was abruptly shifted when the cafeteria fell silent. The sound of boots confidently marching across the room cut through the low hum of conversation, drawing everyone’s attention.

She turned to see Eric walking in, and what she saw made her breath catch in her throat. Eric Coulter was sporting a black eye and a split lip; his usually neat blonde hair was now disheveled, and dark circles marked his eyes. The sight of him was more intimidating than usual, not in the way that stirred strange sensations within her but in a way that demanded respect and silence.

He exuded a deadly aura.

“Yes, exactly them. Michelle, hey!” Sunny snapped her fingers in front of Michelle’s face, pulling her out of her stunned silence. “That was a spoiler, by the way.”

“What happened?” Michelle asked in a whisper, trying to stay discreet amid the tension in the cafeteria.

“Last night, after you left, your companion started a fight with one of the guys because, apparently, the guy looked at him the wrong way,” Tyson explained, his tone light but serious.

Axl chuckled. “He was completely hammered. You could smell the alcohol on him from a mile away.”

“So basically, after Eric came back, he and Four tried to break up the fight because things were getting out of hand. But Max? Max wasn’t satisfied with just getting beaten up; he lunged at Eric when Eric tried to pull him away, and that led to a full-blown fight between the two,” Sunny continued, her voice low.

“Max didn’t stand a chance. He was knocked out within the first minute, and if it hadn’t been for Eric’s friends holding him back, Max would’ve ended up dead on the Pit floor,” Sunny said, casting a quick glance at Bowie, who still looked troubled. “They ended up kicking Max out of the faction, making him factionless. Tina tried to stay behind, begging the leaders to let him stay, but it was no use.”

“It was entertaining, I’ll admit,” Axl said with a smirk. “But I’ve got to head out. Inspections in twenty minutes.” He gave Tyson a friendly pat on the shoulder and left, his seat now vacant.

Sunny took the opportunity to move closer to Michelle, sliding into the seat Axl had vacated. She rested her head on Michelle’s shoulder, her demeanor a mix of comfort and curiosity.

“So now they’re both factionless,” Tyson said, his gaze shifting from Eric to the two girls. “One thing I’ve learned since I’ve been here, long before Eric arrived, is that you shouldn’t get involved with him.”

Michelle fiddled with her food, her thoughts swirling. She felt a mixture of confusion and curiosity. “I don’t like him.”

“Nobody likes Eric, sweetheart,” Tyson quipped with a hint of humor.

“But you’re his friend,” Michelle said abruptly, her tone carrying an edge of seriousness.

Tyson seemed to consider her words for a moment before responding with a gentle smile. “Nobody is friends with Eric. We tolerate each other. He’s useful to have around and not stupid—he’s just hotheaded and a lot worse in many ways. His company can be pleasant, but no one considers him a true friend,” he said, glancing over at Eric. “No one has any real relationships with him. Not even Mia. That girl has been chasing after him since she arrived. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day we find her at the bottom of the chasm.”

Michelle followed Tyson’s gaze, observing Eric with a new sense of wariness. The faint bruises on his face only added to his intimidating presence.

“I don’t understand,” Sunny said, shaking her head as she looked at Tyson. “How does he have all this power? Why?”

Tyson sighed, a subtle hint of something deeper in his expression. “Eric is a soldier, and soldiers are liked by those in power,” he said, his words carrying a weight that Michelle and Sunny couldn’t fully grasp.

The days drifted by, leading up to the second phase of initiation, a module Four had warned would be the toughest. Michelle found herself lost in thought, unable to escape the disquiet that had settled over her.

No matter where she was—whether clutching a photograph of Anne in her dorm, standing on the faction's rooftop in the rain, or working out in the gym at night—Eric's absence was a constant weight on her mind. He hadn’t so much as glanced her way since that night, and perhaps that was for the best. Four and Tyson were right: Eric was dangerous. His cruel game of intimidation and the near-violent incident with Max had shown her just how perilous his influence could be.

Eric’s demeanor had shifted noticeably. The mocking smirks and casual arrogance had faded, replaced by a rigid, authoritarian presence. As the start of the second module approached, he seemed increasingly distant, spending less time within the faction.

Despite her efforts to avoid him, Michelle couldn’t help but search for Eric whenever she had the chance. Sunny, ever observant, noticed Michelle’s growing preoccupation.

One evening, as Michelle prepared to head to the gym, Sunny stopped her at the door.

“Would you tell me if something was bothering you?” Sunny’s voice was soft, almost hesitant. Michelle glanced at her, her concern evident, and nodded, pretending not to notice the full weight of Sunny’s gaze.

The corridors had grown colder with the onset of winter, and Michelle wrapped her jacket tighter around herself. It had been a while since she’d had a moment alone, a chance to lose herself in silence.

Upon reaching the gym doors, Michelle heard the muffled sounds of someone training. Peering inside, she saw Lauren, engrossed in her workout on one of the punching bags. Lauren’s expression hardened as she caught sight of Michelle, and without a word, she turned her back, focusing on a bag on the far side of the room. It was evident that the once-cordial relationship between them had soured.

Confused and feeling uncertain, Michelle decided to focus on her own workout, leaving Lauren to her space. But as Michelle pounded the bag, she felt Lauren’s gaze fixed on her back. The distraction was unwelcome, particularly with the stress of the upcoming initiation, Tyson’s warnings, and Eric’s unsettling behavior weighing heavily on her.

After a few minutes, Lauren cleared her throat. “I know Four warned you, but please be careful with Eric. He’s not someone you want to get involved with.”

Michelle stopped abruptly and turned to face Lauren, her confusion evident. “What do you mean?”

Lauren sighed, rubbing her face in frustration. “Four saw you the other night when Eric was following you. He decided to investigate and told me about it. I just want you to be aware.”

“It was a mistake,” Michelle interjected, her voice firm as she tried to deflect the concern.

“What do you mean?” Lauren asked, her tone a mixture of curiosity and concern.

Michelle hesitated, then admitted, “I wasn’t thinking straight. I just wanted to understand him better. It’s not like I wanted to get involved with Eric.”

Lauren’s expression softened, though worry remained. “Understanding him isn’t worth risking yourself. Eric’s reputation isn’t just because he’s a jerk or a bully. There’s something darker, more dangerous about him.”

Michelle sighed as she slipped on her jacket, acknowledging that her plans for a workout had been derailed. Instead, she headed towards the roof, where she could be alone with her thoughts. The idea of explaining her actions to Lauren felt too personal, too intimate. She wasn’t ready to share the details of what had happened, even though Lauren’s support was unwavering.

Despite her intent to be alone, Lauren was not easily deterred. She grabbed her belongings and followed Michelle up to the rooftop. "If you know, why did you do it?" Lauren’s voice carried a mixture of concern and frustration.

Michelle hesitated, struggling with her thoughts. Eric had made the first move, but if she were honest, the alcohol had played its part, blurring her judgment and amplifying the electric charge between them. But acknowledging that felt like making excuses.

When Michelle remained silent, Lauren grabbed her wrist, only to have Michelle shrug her off. “Michelle… it’s for your own good.”

“I already said it was a mistake,” Michelle retorted, her voice sharp as she leaned against the rooftop railing. “It won’t happen again.”

Lauren’s expression softened, and she stepped back slightly but remained nearby. “I hope so. You have potential; it would be a shame to waste it on someone like him.” They fell into a contemplative silence, gazing out at the city and the distant outlines of the other factions, savoring the quiet of the night.

“Ready for tomorrow?” Lauren’s question cut through the silence, sending a shiver down Michelle’s spine. The mention of the second phase of initiation triggered a wave of déjà vu. Michelle turned to Lauren with a pained expression.

“For— for the second phase?” Lauren asked, her voice tinged with uncertainty at Michelle’s reaction.

Michelle swallowed hard, her eyes brimming with tears as the weight of her emotions hit her. She took deep breaths, trying to steady herself before responding.

“No, how could I be?” The words felt heavy, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. The thought of her last moments with her best friend brought a pang to her heart. She wondered about Anne—where she was now, how she was faring, and what she was doing.

Michelle and Lauren spent the remainder of the night on the rooftop, waiting in silence for the first light of dawn. The conversations and warnings from Four, Lauren, and Tyson felt like pieces of a larger puzzle that Michelle struggled to piece together. She knew she had to stay clear of Eric, despite the dangerous allure he presented. It was clear that her safety was at stake, and she needed to tread carefully.

As dawn broke, all the initiates were summoned to a sterile room. The space was stark and unwelcoming, with chairs lined up against the walls, each one designated for an initiate. Two doors stood at the far end of the room, marking the beginning of what promised to be a grueling day. Michelle took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever lay ahead, knowing that the challenges of the second phase were about to unfold.

Four entered the room after them, his authoritative presence commanding attention as the initiates settled into their seats. “Welcome to the second module, the mental phase. It’s a departure from the physical trials you’ve faced so far, and it will test you in ways you don’t expect. This is the most exhausting part of the initiation, even though it’s not physical.”

He moved to stand in front of one of the two doors. “We have divided you into two groups to expedite the process.”

At that moment, the door across the room swung open to reveal Eric. “You will confront your deepest fears in the shortest time possible. You will be scored as in the first module, and those who fall below the red line will be eliminated.”

Eric’s gaze swept over the room with an intimidating intensity. “Only a few of you will make it into the faction. Another ten will be excluded. There is no room for error.”

Four positioned himself in front of the remaining door, pulling out two slips of paper from his pocket. He handed one to Eric, who read it aloud.

“Sunny.”

“Marcus,” Eric followed, calling out a boy Michelle recognized as one of the Dauntless-born, who entered the room after the blonde.

An uneasy silence settled over the room as the initiates awaited their turns. Some paced nervously, while others closed their eyes, trying to find calm. Michelle found herself caught between these two reactions, struggling to mask her own anxiety. She glanced at the clock on the wall, willing time to move faster.

Sunny emerged less than ten minutes later, her face etched with a look of near terror. Michelle started to approach her friend, but Sunny walked past her as if she were invisible, exiting the room without a word.

“Angela,” Four called out next.

Michelle’s concern for Sunny deepened, wondering what could have caused her friend to look so haunted. She felt a strong urge to follow her but decided against it, choosing instead to wait for her own turn and to find Sunny later.

After another fifteen minutes, the second door opened, revealing Marcus, who was assisted out by two Dauntless members. He looked as if he had seen a ghost—pale as porcelain, cheeks wet with tears, eyes red and vacant, and hands trembling uncontrollably.

“Connor,” Four called.

The boy rose with encouragement from his friends, and Michelle leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling to calm her nerves.

As time dragged on, Michelle pondered what her own fears might be, how she would confront them, and what she might see. The constant opening and closing of the doors, along with the shifting emotions of the initiates, did little to ease her anxiety.

By now, only a few initiates remained in the room, including Michelle—just one other girl and the remaining five boys, none of whom she knew well.

This time, both doors opened simultaneously, allowing the last two initiates to exit, visibly shaken. Michelle strangely hoped to be called next to end the torturous wait, but her name was not called again.

Two hours had passed since she last moved, her muscles aching from sitting in the hard wooden chair. Michelle glanced at the clock and, within five minutes, saw the door to Eric’s room open once more. This time, the boy who entered did not come out. Michelle looked up as Eric, still focused on the slip of paper in his hand, called her name.

“Michelle.”

Before she could react, he turned back into the room.

With great caution, Michelle stood up and entered the room with slow, deliberate steps, closing the door behind her. The room was stark and clinical, its white walls reminiscent of a laboratory. At the center was an armchair with the same apparatus she had seen during the Aptitude Test.

Eric was hunched over a computer next to the chair. The tension between them was palpable, a heavy silence hanging in the air. Michelle bit the inside of her cheek and moved forward, reluctantly taking a seat in the uncomfortable chair, ready to endure whatever came next.

The silence, usually something Michelle cherished, felt oppressive and unnerving now. She wished for any sound, even an insult, to break the suffocating quiet.

“It’s just like the Aptitude Test,” Eric said coldly, his fingers cold as they connected the wires to her temples, sending a series of small electric shocks through her skin.

He picked up a syringe from the table, giving it a slight shake. “Instead of drinking, we’ll inject the serum this time.” He grasped her wrist to steady her arm, and Michelle had to look away as the needle pierced her skin.

“Fear of needles? Pathetic,” he murmured as he withdrew the needle.

The serum felt cold, almost icy, and left a numbing sensation in her arm. But that feeling quickly faded as Michelle’s vision blurred, her consciousness slipping away under the serum’s effects.

When she opened her eyes again, her heart skipped a beat. She was disoriented, unsure of where she was. Struggling to stand, her legs trembled beneath her.

The room around her was cloaked in darkness so complete that she could barely make out her surroundings. A rustling sound behind her made her jump, and she let out a small scream. Instinctively, she moved backward and bumped into what she assumed was a desk.

Michelle tried to steady her breathing, her heart pounding with fear. The darkness seemed alive, and another noise from a corner of the room made her hyperventilate. There was something, or someone, with her in the room.

Desperate, she began to search the desk, her hands scrambling over every surface until she felt something round and short. She fumbled for a switch, and the flashlight flickered on weakly.

The light revealed an office-like setting, but its weak beam was almost useless. Michelle tried to adjust the switch, but it was no use. “Damn it!” she shouted in frustration.

Stepping out of the office, she found herself in a long, dark corridor. Her heart raced, each echo of her footsteps amplified in the oppressive silence. The corridor stretched out endlessly, and she could feel the weight of her isolation pressing down on her.

She had to move forward, driven by a mix of fear and determination. Each step felt heavier than the last, her anxiety mounting as she tried to make sense of her surroundings and figure out what awaited her next.

Taking a step forward, Michelle heard the rustling noise from behind her again. When she turned around, the sound was still there, more insistent. Panic surged through her, and she began to run down the corridor, the flashlight’s beam dimming with each passing moment.

Tears brimmed at the corners of her eyes as she spotted a control panel at the end of the corridor. Desperate to reach it, she sprinted faster, her breath coming in ragged gasps. The rustling noise grew louder, more ominous, as the light from her flashlight flickered and then went out, leaving her in suffocating darkness.

Each footfall felt like a mile as she ran, the control panel seeming to retreat with every step she took. Her heart raced, pounding in her ears, drowning out everything else.

In the pitch black, she extended her hand, feeling her way along the wall. She braced herself for a collision but kept reaching forward, fingers trembling as they searched for the control panel. Just as she felt something brush against her shoulder, the lights flared on, momentarily blinding her.

Michelle collapsed to the floor, curling up into a tight ball, trying to find solace in the fetal position. The harsh, bright lights made her eyes water as she clung to the ground, overwhelmed by the ordeal.

A hand suddenly grabbed her arm, jolting her from her disorientation. She flinched, her body tensing as she was dragged across the cold tile floor. The hand was firm yet gentle, guiding her away from the control panel and the nightmarish rustling sound that still echoed faintly in her mind.

She struggled against the grip, but when she looked up to see her attacker, she was surprised to see the silhouette of her mother. “Mom?”

The woman glanced briefly at her before continuing through what Michelle recognized as the central headquarters of the Candids. Strangely, the place was deserted.

When they reached a door, her mother shoved her inside, making her fall to the ground in front of a group of people. As Michelle looked up to see who they were, she only recognized a few of her mother’s colleagues.

Eric, watching the scene unfold on the screen that showed what was happening inside Michelle's mind, was immediately intrigued to see Jeanine Matthews among the people.

He glanced at Michelle in the chair before turning his attention back to the screen, curious to know if this was some sort of memory and whether it was connected to why Jeanine seemed so interested in her.

A man with red hair, dressed in a suit and tie, nodded to the woman behind him. She took a seat next to a woman Michelle recognized as Jeanine Matthews.

Michelle stood up, carefully adjusting her clothes and surveying the people before her.

“Ellie Black, don’t worry,” the man said, offering her a smile as she approached. “We just need you to answer a few questions for us, okay?”

Her mother glared at her for not responding, and Jeanine stepped in, noticing the young girl’s defensiveness. “Calm down, we don’t want to hurt you. We just need you to tell us everything you know about your father.”

If Eric was intrigued before, now he was thoroughly confused. The way they were speaking to Michelle seemed almost condescending, as if addressing a small child. A sudden realization struck him—this was indeed a memory, likely a traumatic one. The woman he assumed was her mother was able to drag her around effortlessly because, in this memory, Michelle was very young.

Michelle’s demeanor—hugging herself and looking distrustfully at the strangers—reinforced the idea. Even Jeanine appeared different, seeming younger.

“Do you know anything about his disappearance, Ellie?” asked the red-haired man.

Michelle remained silent.

“Answer!” her mother hissed, her face twisted in anger.

Jeanine approached her, gently stroking Michelle’s face with a tender expression. “If you tell us what you know, we might be able to find him. Bring him back to you,” the red-haired man cleared his throat slightly, and Jeanine silenced him with a sharp look. “Please be a good girl, Ellie.”

Michelle’s eyes welled with tears, but she remained silent, not even nodding. Jeanine’s smile faltered, and she stepped back, signaling the two men who moved in to restrain Michelle by her arms.

“No! No! Mom!” Michelle cried out as a third man retrieved a long syringe from a briefcase and injected the transparent liquid into her neck while she struggled desperately.

The onlookers watched impassively, as if waiting for something. Michelle’s discomfort quickly escalated into pain, causing her to sob uncontrollably.

“Another dose,” ordered the red-haired man.

“No... no,” Michelle pleaded through her sobs, but the third man prepared another syringe.

Eric watched as Michelle writhed in pain, restrained by the two men. He was puzzled by the unfolding scene, trying to understand what her fear could be until his gaze fell upon the syringe on the table beside him.

As Michelle’s cries grew more desperate, Eric could see that this wasn’t just a fear simulation—it was a vivid replay of a traumatic memory. He observed her face twisted in anguish, her body trembling uncontrollably as the second dose of the mysterious liquid was administered. The entire scene seemed to revolve around a deep, unresolved fear from her past, one that was being painfully relived.

Eric’s attention shifted back to the screen, trying to discern the details of Michelle’s memory. The sterile office environment, the authoritative figures, and her mother’s plea—all pointed to a significant and distressing event in her childhood. He noted how Michelle’s entire demeanor, her frantic movements, and her pleas were indicative of a child in intense fear.

The red-haired man, standing with an air of cold authority, spoke up again. “Ellie, if you don’t cooperate, this will only get worse. You know how this works.”

Michelle’s body was trembling violently, her tears flowing freely. Her mother’s expression was a mix of frustration and resignation. Jeanine Matthews, observing from a distance, seemed to hold an air of detached concern, as if this was a necessary, albeit uncomfortable, part of a broader plan.

Eric’s thoughts raced. The injections, the coercive techniques, the specific mention of her father’s disappearance—everything was piecing together into a disturbing picture. It was clear that Michelle was reliving a moment of profound fear and helplessness, a memory tied to her father’s unexplained disappearance.

As Michelle’s screams of agony grew softer, a determined look began to form on her tear-streaked face. With a painful effort, she managed to stop her sobbing, focusing all her energy on resisting the injections and the overwhelming fear. Her body shook with the effort, but her eyes were now filled with a steely resolve.

With a sudden burst of strength, Michelle broke free from one of the guards holding her. She staggered away, her legs weak but her willpower fierce. Her mother’s face, once stern and commanding, now reflected confusion and concern. The red-haired man’s eyes widened slightly, clearly surprised by Michelle’s unexpected resistance.

The room’s atmosphere shifted, the oppressive fear momentarily giving way to a glimmer of hope. Michelle’s focus sharpened, and despite the pain from the injections, she managed to grab hold of a nearby object—a metal lamp left on a desk. Using it as an improvised weapon, she swung it at the nearest guard.

The impact wasn’t perfect, but it was enough to create a momentary distraction. The guard staggered back, giving Michelle a precious opportunity to make a break for it. She darted towards the door, her breaths coming in ragged gasps. The dimly lit room was now a blur of shadows and uncertainty, but Michelle’s determination guided her steps.

Michelle jolted upright from the chair, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she collapsed into the corner of the room. Eric, initially taken aback by her sudden movement, quickly refocused on the computer, entering the simulation data with a practiced efficiency.

Without turning his gaze, he spoke, his tone carrying a hint of detached admiration. “You took longer than expected, but you’ve set a new record.”

Michelle finally looked up, her eyes meeting Eric’s. What he saw in her gaze shocked him—an icy coldness he had never seen before. It was not the usual apathy he had come to expect from her, but something far more chilling. The intensity in her eyes reminded him of that night, the night when the stakes had been so high.

For a moment, Eric felt a wave of unease wash over him, even tho he masked it. The coldness in Michelle's eyes seemed to strip away any pretense of normalcy, revealing an undercurrent of something darker. The silence between them stretched, heavy with unspoken understanding.

Eric’s eyes flickered briefly over the data on his screen before he turned his full attention back to her. “You’ve done well,” he said, but his voice lacked warmth. “Now, let’s see how you handle the aftermath.”

Michelle, still reeling from the intensity of her simulation struggled to compose herself. The experience had been more than just a test; it had uncovered fears and memories she had long tried to suppress. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart and regain control.

Eric’s eyes remained fixed on her, his expression unreadable. There was a tension in the room, a silent acknowledgment of the personal and emotional boundaries that had been crossed. Despite his coldness, Michelle sensed a faint trace of something else—curiosity, perhaps, or a reluctant respect for her perseverance.

Michelle rose slowly, her movements stiff and strained. She left the room without uttering a single word, her silence heavy with unresolved emotions. Eric watched her go, a deep conflict stirring within him. He clenched his fists, the weight of what he had just witnessed pressing down on him.

After a moment, Eric stood up, determination set in his features. He left the room swiftly, his mind racing as he made his way to contact Jeanine Matthews.

Knowledge pt.5

check out the other parts here!

Summary:

The story begins the same for everyone, on the day of the ceremony, one of the most important for all the kids who take part in it every year, and Michelle will not miss the opportunity to leave behind a faction that she did not feel belonged to her.

On her journey, however, she will encounter someone who will make her initiation feel like hell.

Pairing: Eric Coulter x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Michelle was nervous at the thought of facing the combat the next day. After witnessing what some of her peers were capable of, she felt somewhat intimidated. She hoped to be paired with someone relatively weak to train with.

Lauren was skilled, very skilled, but she didn't fight to win.

It must have been shortly after 7 pm when Michelle reached the tattoo shop where Tyson worked. Unlike the previous mornings when it was closed, this time it was open to the public.

The place was bustling with Dauntless eager to get a tattoo, and as she made her way through the crowd, she tried to find him near the stations.

To her surprise, however, she found Tori busy working on a tattoo for a girl she had never seen before. The woman looked up as she saw Michelle approaching and offered a brief smile before returning her focus to her work.

"Hey, Michelle. Nice to see you here. Have you decided to get a tattoo?" she spoke slowly, too focused on the tattoo.

It seemed to resemble a snake, although from where Michelle was standing, she couldn't clearly make it out.

"Let's say I have," she replied, taking a seat on one of the nearby stools, clutching the notebook she had recently purchased in her hand.

She had already started jotting down some ideas, hastily and without anything specific in mind. Getting a tattoo was more complicated than she thought; she felt very uncertain about certain aspects, knowing that such work would later be permanently inked on her skin.

It had to be perfect.

"Any ideas? Tyson told me you were working on something. Everything okay, Mia, go to the counter and book the last session," Tori spoke to the girl sitting on the chair, who got up and greeted her monotonously.

Michelle watched the girl leave with a dismissive air.

"Never mind her, she's always like that," Michelle's attention was once again drawn back to Tori, who was now setting up the station for a potential new client. "So, let's see?"

Michelle opened the notebook and showed Tori the various doodles she had made. The woman examined them carefully, occasionally making comments. The style was one she had never seen before, and she quite liked it.

"These are really beautiful, unique," she said, passing the notebook back to Michelle. "Which one would you like to do? So I can start making the stencil."

Michelle flipped through the pages until she reached a drawing that Tori hadn't seen before; she had stopped earlier.

She handed the notebook back to Tori, who carefully observed the intricate lines and details within. At the center of the different lines was the symbol of the Dauntless.

Tori furrowed her brows; the pattern seemed familiar to her, yet she couldn't recall where she had seen it before.

"It's like a map of the place, and the symbol marks where the Pit is," Michelle explained, watching Tori's reaction. The woman's eyes widened slightly as she realized the different corridors leading to the Pit.

"It's...wow," she said, genuinely amazed. Slowly, she tried to trace each tunnel, and indeed, Michelle's drawing was accurate. "Do you want this?"

Michelle nodded, and with her permission, Tori went to make a photocopy of the drawing and then create a stencil. She returned shortly, handing back Michelle's notebook. "Give me one, maximum two days, and you can come to get it done. Where would you like it?"

Michelle pondered for a moment. Her arms were too small to accommodate a tattoo of that size; it wouldn't have the right impact.

"Back," Michelle replied.

"I'll let Tyson know," Tori responded before bidding her farewell to attend to a new client who was patiently waiting beside the station, holding a sheet with the design he wanted to get tattooed.

Michelle returned to the dormitories after briefly stopping by the cafeteria to grab something to eat, trying to follow Lauren's advice as much as possible. She ate a couple of hamburgers and a side before heading to the dormitory for a shower, taking advantage of the fact that everyone had gone to dinner.

The warm water relaxed her muscles, and the smell of sweat quickly washed away, replaced by the scent of cleanliness.

She tried to be as quick as possible to get some sleep; she was undecided whether to go to sleep now as usual or actually use the night to rest. The next day, she would have to face one of her peers, and she didn't know what would be wiser.

Michelle riflected on Arlo and Patrik's fight, the memory of the sound of their fists against their opponent still fresh in her mind. She had to be as prepared as possible; sleeping wasn't an option.

She slipped into bed, closing her eyes and falling asleep for what felt like an eternity, but something disturbed her sleep, causing her to wake up abruptly. When she turned to check the time, she noticed the clock was nearing midnight.

She got up very cautiously, trying to figure out what that sudden noise had been, but not noticing anything particular, she assumed she had imagined it, still half in the world of dreams.

She quickly changed into her clothes and slipped out of the dormitory. The dimly lit corridors at night made her feel a bit anxious; it was true. The occasional blue light that illuminated them was not enough to make her feel safe. She remained stiff-backed, ready to block a possible attack.

As she walked away from the dormitory, she heard another noise similar to the previous one.

She hadn't imagined it then.

It was the door of her dormitory opening and closing. The unmistakable creaking made Michelle flatten against a dark wall, not knowing who it could be at that hour. She heard whispered laughter fading away from the corridor where the dormitories were located. She was puzzled by this. Who were they? What did they want? Would she get into trouble if her absence was noticed?

Ignoring such concerns, she quickened her pace toward the gym accommodations, reaching them in record time to avoid whoever might be in the corridors.

As she did every night, she was relieved to find the gym empty, devoid of life, allowing her to train in peace. She wrapped her knuckles as Lauren had taught her and began hitting the bag for hours, ignoring the burning sensation in her arms.

She needed to be strong, to improve her standing.

She was the only one with so few points; everyone else had already fought, causing them to either rise or fall in the rankings. She, on the other hand, had only fallen, placing her below the red line.

She was no longer tenth; she was eighteenth.

She would have to work her ass off to get back to the top, but she promised herself she would make it. She would do whatever it took to climb back up.

Everything.

"Do you ever sleep?" Michelle jumped in place, hearing a voice from the other side of the gym. She spun around to see who it was, not recognizing the voice. She relaxed when she saw Four entering with a duffel bag.

She shrugged at his question, Four must have figured out her routine. "Lauren told me I'd find you here. You should rest, Michelle," Four said, more as advice than an order. His voice was gentle, as if he genuinely cared about her and her well-being.

"I'm rested," she replied, averting her gaze from his blue eyes.

Four clicked his tongue against his teeth, placing his stuff on a nearby bench. "Come here."

Michelle stopped punching the bag and turned to see what Four meant. She saw him standing on the combat mat, patiently observing her.

Confused, she approached.

"Show me what you can do," he said, getting into an attacking stance, followed immediately by her.

Four lunged at her, trying to grab her, but Michelle followed Lauren's advice and threw a lateral punch to his temple, making him step back.

He gritted his teeth at the impact but quickly recovered, continuing the sparring with her. Once again, he was surprised by her agility and speed. She dodged his blows with ease, and she had improved since the first time he had seen her spar with Eric.

She had refined her technique, attacking instead of always being on the defensive. But Four was good, better than her, and after twenty minutes of exchanging hits, he managed to bring her down.

"Watch out for—."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," she replied, irritated, getting back on her feet. It was the same problem that Lauren had pointed out to her several times: she couldn't focus on attacking and protecting her feet at the same time.

She assumed an attacking stance again, and it was her turn to launch herself at the guy in front of her, putting him in serious difficulty. Michelle landed several blows to his chest, legs, and even one to his throat, managing to regain the upper hand.

But what she didn't know was that Four was holding back, reducing the force of his blows. He wanted her to improve, to make her better, but without hurting her.

He had to admit, though, she was good. She knew what to do, and it was incredible how she could predict almost every one of his moves. She had potential.

And that's when it occurred to him that perhaps the reason they needed to keep an eye on her was precisely for that, for her potential abilities; a member like her was necessary within the faction.

But it couldn't be just that.

Nearly an hour passed before Michelle started to tire, causing her to lose concentration and allowing Four to bring her down, equally exhausted.

Michelle relaxed on the mat, staring at the ceiling when she felt Four sit down beside her, handing her a water bottle.

"It's still early, it's not even three yet. You should go rest," he said.

But Michelle shook her head, getting up and heading back to the punching bag, ignoring Four's bored look. Why was she so stubborn, he wondered?

Four had to admit that he admired her in a way. He saw determination in her eyes and knew she would make her way through the initiation; she hadn't started off on the best foot, but there was time.

He watched her train for a while, then left via the rooftop, leaving the girl to her thoughts.

Unlike Four, Michelle was confused about why he had come there, only to leave after sparring with her. It couldn't have been just for her; otherwise, he wouldn't have arrived with a duffel bag and left via the rooftop instead of returning the way he came.

As she punched the bag, she felt weak, as if her punches, despite all the determination she put into them, were too feeble. She felt restrained, as if something was holding her back from pushing beyond her limits.

She couldn't give it her all, she knew, but she didn't know how to break through that mental barrier.

She kept hitting the bag repeatedly until she couldn't feel her arms anymore and until the sun began to lighten the sky, illuminating the room. She stopped, exhausted, but she was starting to love the sensation. The burning of her muscles was becoming a feeling of comfort for her.

She quickly headed back to the dormitory to take a quick shower and then go to the cafeteria for a hearty breakfast, but her plans didn't go as smoothly as she thought.

As she approached the iron doors of her dormitory, she began to hear a rather loud commotion coming from inside. When she opened the doors, she understood the reason for the agitation.

The entire room was covered in a black dust that had not only stuck to the walls but also to all the initiates present there. She saw Chloe almost in tears as she noticed that the strange substance didn't come off easily from her body, and Michelle looked for Sunny, who was sitting on her bed with a resigned expression.

She reached her as quickly as possible, ignoring the confused looks and unpleasant comments from her peers.

"Why isn't she dirty? She must have something to do with this!"

"It must have been her, for sure!"

"Where the hell was she? Why is she clean?"

When she stood in front of Sunny, the girl smiled at her despite her downcast face. "Funny, huh?"

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know, we woke up and suddenly found ourselves covered in this strange powder. It doesn't come off easily, it stains," he showed her his arm, which was no longer black but gray.

Michelle looked around, watching her desperate companions trying to get the substance off themselves.

On the other side of the room, Chloe observed Michelle with hatred and suspicion. She wondered why she was outside and especially if she had organized this prank, a way to skip the sparring that would take place in a few hours.

"You think?" Connor whispered next to her, glancing between her and Michelle.

"Come on, bro, you can't tell me something smells fishy here! She was outside the dorm, she came back just in time to see all of us covered in this stuff, and she's clean," Patrick continued to vigorously rub his face with a wet cloth to try to get rid of the residue.

Chloe huffed, "I agree, it's too much of a coincidence."

The dormitory doors swung open again with such force that they slammed against the wall, drawing the attention of all the teen present. They turned to see who had entered with such vigor, and the room fell into a deathly silence as Eric strode in, followed by Max and Lauren.

He looked around, his expression furious. "Can someone explain what happened?" he said very slowly.

He was trying to restrain himself from shouting at everyone and punishing them for this prank. He was even tempted to make them all Factionless after this. He had never seen anything like it in three years.

No one answered the question until Chloe, convinced of her theory, stepped forward.

She was scared to speak to Eric, especially with his current mood, but she swallowed her fear and began to speak, her voice slightly trembling. "We woke up, and the room was like this, covered in this substance, and..."

"And?" Eric raised an eyebrow, unsatisfied with her explanation. He wanted a culprit, someone to punish for this action.

Chloe glanced in Michelle's direction, who immediately understood what was about to happen. Michelle paled, realizing the trouble she would be in within seconds. She had no way to defend herself.

It was her word against at least three of theirs.

"Michelle was outside the dorm, she came back just in time to see us covered in this stuff... and she's clean," Chloe insisted.

Eric's head turned slowly to find the girl in question, and when he did, indeed seeing her completely clean and dressed for training, he smiled.

Shivers ran down ers spine as she saw his smile. It wasn't a good start.

"Oh really?" His tone was strangely light, cheerful, and Michelle swallowed the lump forming in her throat. What would happen to her?

Before Eric could speak, Max intervened. "Do you have any evidence that it was Michelle? Besides her absence from the dorms?"

"No—" Chloe tried to speak and continue her accusation, but she was interrupted by Lauren.

"Then let's not point fingers at anyone, I believe Michelle has a valid alibi for tonight, right?" Lauren turned to Michelle, expecting an answer, and the girl nodded. "Good, then we'll check her alibi now and then we'll see."

"I don't think that's necessary, it's quite obvious," Eric said, annoyed. "Get up, come with me."

Michelle didn't immediately get up, and the boy looked at her, the smile gone. "Now!" he shouted.

Michelle stood up abruptly, following the blond boy out of the dormitory, hoping that at least Lauren would join them. She kept her head held high as she followed Eric along a series of different corridors until they reached a door on the right.

Someone was following her, she heard footsteps, and she fervently hoped it was Lauren and not Max. She needed someone for support.

Eric opened the door for her, gesturing for her to enter, and feeling very uncertain, she stepped inside, trying not to turn her back on the boy for too long. Inside was a long table with several chairs, and what made her most uncomfortable was how unnervingly calm Eric was.

"Sit down," he ordered, and Michelle complied, taking a seat as far away from him as possible. But of course, the boy had no intention of letting her off so easily and approached her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Michelle saw Max and Lauren enter, which made her feel a little better. How could she testify to her innocence? She would have to ask Four to testify for her.

Max approached them, a serious and bored expression on his face. "Michelle, let's make things clear. Did you do this?"

"No."

"Do you have a way to prove your innocence?"

"Yes."

"How?" Eric asked sharply, convinced that hers was a falsehood.

"Four."

The three leaders looked at each other in confusion.

"Explain," Eric ordered, ready to catch Four in an inquisition and dismiss him.

"I was training, he arrived too, we sparred, and then I returned to the dormitory," Michelle began, unconsciously playing with her cuticles.

Max observed her bandaged knuckles and glanced at Lauren, who nodded and left the room.

However, Eric wasn't satisfied with her brief explanation. "Why were you outside the dormitory in the middle of the night? You know it's forbidden, or do I need to remind you?"

"I was training," Michelle simply replied, trying to remain as calm as possible, not wanting to get agitated and give Eric any satisfaction.

She wouldn't play his stupid game.

"And why?"

"To improve."

Eric clicked his tongue against his teeth. "Oh, because you know you're weak and incapable? Hmm, I can accept that even though I warn you how useless it is in your situation."

Michelle remained still, silent, as she absorbed the young leader's criticism in front of her. She had to try not to be influenced by his words; they were baseless cruelties and she shouldn't give them weight.

He was a jerk, an asshole, selfish, and arrogant. She wanted to smash his face in more and more with every inch he approached her. They were face to face, at the same height, his gray eyes against her blue ones.

Max watched the scene from outside, intrigued.

Their staring match was interrupted after a couple of minutes when the door of the room opened, letting in Lauren and then Four, who seemed anything but happy to be there. Eric straightened up, shifting his attention to his peer, ready to hear what he had to say, but Max spoke up first.

"Four, we've called you here to testify that Michelle was in the training dorms all night. She said you were together at some point," his tone was monotone as he spoke to the boy, Eric beside him crossing his arms, waiting for his response.

The boy briefly glanced at Michelle before returning his gaze to Max's eyes. "Yes, that's true" he said.

Max nodded, perhaps a little unconvinced, before letting them both go their separate ways. But it wasn't him who was most bothered by the situation; it was Eric, who watched Michelle's back as she walked away as if he wanted to plant knives in it.

When the door of the room closed behind them, Michelle released a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, stopping in the corridor to try to understand what had just happened.

Was someone trying to blame her?

"Everything alright?" Four turned back, not hearing her footsteps.

She nodded, resuming walking as if nothing had happened. She had promised herself not to show weakness to anyone, not even Four; his kindness towards her made her suspicious, the way he interacted with her was different from how he did with others.

"We'll find whoever is behind this tasteless joke, you don't have to worry about Eric," he assured.

"I'm not worried," she lied, a big one at that. Eric's hostility towards her was unfounded; she had done nothing to antagonize him other than blocking his blows during training.

But was that really enough reason for him to hate her? As a leader and coach, he should have been proud of her, happy to see that an inexperienced initiate was able to put up some challenge.

They walked in silence through the long corridors until they reached the dormitories again, where the boys were cleaning the strange dust off the walls, their skin speckled with gray patches.

Chloe's excitement faded when she saw Four return with Michelle, still intact, ordering her to go take a shower and then go help the other initiates clean the room.

She was grateful; she hadn't had the chance to change out of the clothes she had trained in that night, and she felt sticky all over, a light layer of persistent sweat on her skin.

"Keep cleaning, when you're done, meet us in the gym!" Four said before leaving.

Chloe threw the rag she was cleaning the floor with to the ground and angrily approached Michelle, grabbing her shoulder and forcefully turning her around before delivering a punch to her cheek.

Michelle whimpered, touching her face. It was the same spot where Eric had hit her earlier in the week, and the bruise hadn't completely faded yet.

"You're sleeping with Four, aren't you?" Michelle stopped to stare at the girl with wide eyes, incredulous to hear her words. "You break the few rules we have, pull this stunt, and still nothing happens to you. You even skipped the fight yesterday, what a coincidence!"

The room fell silent, and Sunny joined Michelle, standing by her side. "What the hell, Chloe?"

"No, I'm not talking to you!" Chloe was furious, pushing Michelle again, and Sunny intervened to stand between them, receiving a slap from Chloe. "Tell me, who? Four or Eric? Huh?"

Michelle looked at her confusedly and smiled, then laughed lightly. Sunny turned to her sharply, never having heard her laugh before. "Chloe, I'm not the whore here," she said, still holding her hand to her cheek.

"What do you mean?" the girl said through gritted teeth, her eyes frantic as she glared at her with anger. Connor and Patrik approached their friend, passing by the group of boys who had formed a circle to watch the argument between the two former Candor members.

Chloe knew exactly what Michelle was referring to. They were no longer in their old faction, but if anyone were to expose that information, her reputation would be permanently stained. Not to mention the trouble it would cause for the other person involved.

Michelle smiled even more, and the brunette next to her shuddered slightly. Her smile, at that moment, seemed sadistic. "You know very well," Michelle said.

Chloe remained silent, straightening up and returning to her original position, not wanting Michelle to reveal that secret out of spite. What worried her the most was one thing: how Michelle could be aware of what had happened during that school year.

"Stay quiet, and we won't have any problems," Chloe said, turning her back to Michelle, effectively putting an end to the small spectacle that had unfolded.

As the crowd of students dispersed, Sunny turned back to Chloe with a puzzled expression. "What have happened to make her react like that? She seemed ready to pounce on you until you mentioned that!"

"She slept with a teacher to pass the year" Michelle replied simply, heading off to finally take a shower. She left her friend behind, mouth agape, as she contemplated the revelation.

Michelle had stumbled upon the secret by chance, her curiosity leading her to the rooftop of their school where she caught them in the act. She wished she could wash her eyes out with bleach to rid herself of the memory.

If the secret were to come to light, it would undoubtedly spark the most scandalous uproar their faction had ever witnessed. Michelle, however, had resolved to keep it buried, seeing no advantage in its exposure. On the contrary, she feared repercussions for herself, for once again venturing into forbidden territory.

Even as she turned the faucet, the echo of their voices from the adjacent room persisted, but she pushed them to the back of her mind. What lingered, haunting her thoughts, were Eric's words—spat with such venom and malice that they cast a shadow of doubt over her very being.

She knew she had to demonstrate her superiority to all. Yet, the path ahead seemed strewn with obstacles.

After finishing her shower, Michelle joined her companions to help with the remaining tasks. They had already completed most of the work before they headed to the gym, almost two hours later than usual.

Upon their arrival, Four and Eric were already present, standing in front of the board with the names of those who would be fighting that day. Everyone was there, even those who had taken a beating the day before.

"Run three laps as warm-up, then come back here!" Four instructed the boys, who started jogging around the room.

Before joining them, Michelle approached the board to check who she would be matched against for the upcoming fight. She drew close to the board under Eric's watchful eye, who observed her with almost disdain.

"Scared of ruining that pretty face?" Eric's hand shot out unexpectedly, catching Michelle off guard as he took hold of her chin to inspect her face, smiling at the fresh bruise. "Oh, it's already ruined. What a shame."

His tone was sarcastic, and Michelle hated the sensation she felt when his hand touched her face. She wanted to rip his hand away, yet at the same time, the warmth it left behind was something she longed to feel again.

When Michelle saw who she was matched against, she scowled. As much as she couldn't stand Tina's shrill voice, at that moment, she wished she could smash someone's face in. Why not the girl who had punched her a couple of hours earlier?

"I want to fight Chloe," she said, looking Eric straight in the eye, who raised an eyebrow, smiling.

"Do you really think you have a say in this?" he chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Michelle contemplated begging him, maybe it would work. "Please," her voice was barely a whisper, and the young leader's smile faded as he straightened up from where he was leaning against the wall.

"What was that? I didn't quite catch it," he said.

"Please, Eric," she said louder, and he observed her, noting her clear eyes and the bruise on the side of her cheek that had broken a few blood vessels in her eye.

He considered her request; she wasn't asking to back out of the fight but to change opponents. He would have said no to anyone else, but his old Erudite mind immediately grasped her purpose.

He arched his lips into a smirk, watching Chloe jog to the other side of the room. It would be amusing to see Michelle take her frustrations out on her companion, especially after accusing her of being involved in the prank.

He turned to look at the initiate in front of him before giving her his back and changing the names on the board. When he turned back, he didn't find Michelle; she had left after getting what she wanted.

"In the center!" Eric yelled, gathering all the initiates. He decided to make a small change to the list. "Chloe and Michelle, on the mat."

Four, who had joined him, looked at him. "That's not the pair or the order," he said, watching the two girls take their positions.

"I don't care," was all Eric said, keeping his eyes fixed on them. "It will be entertaining."

Four looked worriedly at the pair before resigning himself to the situation and watching the match unfold. He couldn't do anything if Eric said otherwise.

The two girls faced each other, Chloe ready in defense, confident she would win the bout. She threw the first punch, but Michelle dodged it, grabbing her wrist and pulling her towards her, causing Chloe's fist to collide with her own face.

The girl stumbled back, holding her bleeding nose in her hands.

Michelle felt a surge of satisfaction; striking her opponent's face had given her a sense of fulfillment she had never experienced before. She brought her hands up to her face, ready for a response from her adversary.

Chloe didn't take long to compose herself and launch herself at Michelle, blinded by anger. How dare she behave like this towards her?

For a while, Michelle continued to dodge her blows, careful to observe every move Chloe made. Before attacking, she moved her fingers, as if realigning them after each strike.

She dodged a blow to her temple, but Chloe still managed to catch her off guard, sweeping her feet out from under her. Chloe pounced on her, pinning her to the mat and starting to repeatedly strike her in the face.

Eric smiled at seeing the girl on the ground, finding it ridiculous how it had all ended up like this, while Four walked away, not wanting to witness the scene. It would be hard to get out of that position, especially if the opponent kept hitting you in the face.

"Come on, Michelle!" Sunny cheered, and Michelle, determined not to be overpowered, gathered all her strength. Despite the throbbing in her head, she managed to free one arm and strike Chloe in the throat.

The girl stopped hitting her, rolling to the side with the sensation of suffocating. Michelle seized the opportunity and threw herself on top of her, pinning her down.

Now it was her turn to strike; she felt nothing, a loud ringing filled her ears, her vision was blurred, and her head pounded, but she kept hitting her, harder and harder.

Chloe's hands tried to push her away in every way possible, but by now Michelle had only one thing in mind: to finish it.

It felt as if she were watching the scene from outside herself, unable to stop, but what worried her the most was that she didn't want to stop. She would continue until the last breath left the girl's lips beneath her.

"That's enough," Eric said, observing the scene, Chloe now unconscious on the mat.

He was pleased with what he had seen; he hadn't expected such a reversal, but his almost happiness was cut short when he saw Michelle continue to strike Chloe.

"Initiate, I said enough!" he raised his voice, and Michelle stopped, still not taking her eyes off Chloe's almost unrecognizable, inert body.

She looked up, watching Eric, who nodded for her to move away from the girl. She obeyed, getting to her feet and wiping the blood from her nose with the sleeve of her hoodie.

She was short of breath, and a strong metallic smell invaded her nostrils. Blood.

She left without saying a word to anyone, and no one said anything to her, not even Eric, who let her go.

"I told you, she's capable," Four said upon his return, now worried not only for her well-being but for what she might become.

He had witnessed the final part of the match and saw how Michelle struck Chloe, with pure fury and hatred.

"She's dangerous," Eric said, watching her leave, a smile on his lips. "I don't mind."

That was the beginning of the end for Michelle.

MATERIALIST

-Eric Coulter

Knowledge: Prologue, pt.1, pt.2, pt.3, pt.4, pt.5, pt.6, pt.7, pt.8, pt.9, pt.10, pt.11

-Four

Hi! Could you write a Carlisle x Fem! Or GN! Reader in which Carlisle knows that he and reader are mates but he doesn’t know just how to explain it to reader without freaking her out? It can be angsty or fluffy.

You don’t have to if you don’t want to but thank you for reading this💖

Stay hydrated!!

yes, no problem at all!

You're my half | Carlisle Cullen

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x reader

Warnings: angsty with happy ending, post new moon.

Word count: 1.2k

It was once again that I found myself standing in front of his house, even after struggling to accept his true nature. For the first few months, I couldn't even bear to watch him at work, trying my best to avoid him.

But it was only when he disappeared for months without telling anyone that I realized how important he was to me; I missed his touch, his cold lips on mine, and his gentle caress that I never would have connected to a vampire.

I hid my trembling hands in the pockets of my jacket, trying not to show my anxiety. He had called me, saying he needed to talk to me about something very important and fundamental to our relationship.

I didn't even have time to knock on the door before Carlisle appeared before me in all his beauty. He became more beautiful every time I saw him, like an angel with his blond hair, pale skin, and flawless complexion like porcelain.

The first time we met, I already knew what our destiny would be; it was a strange sensation, I had never felt something so strong for someone I didn't even know.

"Hello, sweetheart," he moved aside to let me in, placing a hand on my back to guide me into the living room. "How was work today?"

He kissed the top of my head gently. "Good, dear. Donna was so worried about your absence," I said sarcastically, mentioning the nurse who continuously flirted with Carlisle in the hospital as if I weren't standing right there.

Carlisle chuckled. "Forget about her. You're here, and you're the only woman I want."

He said the last part with a slightly melancholic look, which made me worry a bit. It took me a moment to notice his unusual demeanor; he seemed a bit distant, and within me, a fear grew that he might leave again.

"Come here," he took my hands and led me to the couch, sitting down beside me. "There's something important I need to talk to you about, love."

Was he going to leave me?

I settled on his couch, watching him carefully, seeing him for the first time in distress. He always had the right words, ready to talk about anything with anyone without any trouble, yet now he seemed troubled.

I remained silent, patiently waiting for him to speak. He averted his gaze from my eyes, looking down at his now free hands, fidgeting nervously.

"I honestly don't know how to begin… It's complicated for me, for us, and I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to stay with me," he started, his voice hesitant.

"What do you mean, Carlisle? Has something happened?" My voice must have been filled with concern because Carlisle lifted his eyes to meet mine, smiling slightly and taking my hands in his.

"No, sweetheart, nothing has happened," he reassured me, massaging the back of my hand with his thumb. "You know, remember, the first time we met?"

I looked at him, puzzled. "Uh, yes, very well," I chuckled. "Why?"

Carlisle sighed, though he didn't really need to. "Do you remember what you felt? What you still feel for me?"

"Where are you going with this?" He was only confusing me more.

He looked away again, his gaze shifting elsewhere. "It wasn't a coincidence, it wasn't the typical love-at-first-sight that everyone talks about, but it has something to do with my nature."

I continued to watch him, nervous and perhaps a bit uncomfortable on the couch. He was making me worry; I had never seen him like this, not even when he confessed to being a vampire.

"We vampires, living for eternity, need someone to be with us for eternity. To not be alone. Each of us has someone out there in the world who is like a lifelong companion, a mate."

I didn't understand where he was going with this, I couldn't see where the problem lay.

"And you are that person for me," his voice was low, almost a whisper, and my confusion deepened. I was happy for him, especially if I was that person.

Then I realized that if I was that person, his mate, he would have to turn me to stay with me. I could die at any moment, even returning home after this conversation.

"So, uh, you'll have to-"

"No, if you don't want to, it's fine," he interrupted hastily. "But that's not what I wanted you to understand. It's reciprocal, as you are my mate, I am yours, and…"

"And?" I became impatient, perhaps finally understanding what he was trying to tell me.

"I'm sorry for making you call off the wedding with Thomas, it wasn't my intention. I tried to stay away from you as much as possible knowing you were engaged, I didn't want to ruin your life."

The realization of what he had just told me hit me like a slap in the face; now it all made sense, there was an explanation for why all the feelings I had for Thomas had vanished into thin air after years of engagement.

It had been him, unconsciously, but it had been him.

I let go of his hands, drawing them back and rising from the couch to walk around a bit. I needed to relax; my heart was pounding in my chest like crazy. It couldn't be possible.

I loved Carlisle, but before him, I would have had a perfect life. I would have gotten married, grown old with grandchildren running around my house, and died knowing I had lived my life to the fullest, with Thomas.

But with Carlisle, oh things would be very different. My life had been turned upside down; I would have to stop living to have a happy life with him. I wouldn't have what I had grown to love.

"Love…" Carlisle tried to take my hand to pull me closer, but I stepped aside.

"Uh, no, give me a moment."

"I'm sorry, I tried to keep you away," his voice was full of sadness as he looked at me, also standing now.

I felt manipulated in a way, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to be angry with Carlisle; it wasn't his fault, and I loved him too much to see him in a different light.

He remained still, watching me until my heartbeat calmed down and my thoughts stopped racing in my head. As much as I hated that I left Thomas because of Carlisle, I couldn't imagine a different future now.

I had learned to love the man before me, to accept the fact that he was different from me and that his family was anything but normal. Carlisle was there for me; he would do anything for me, and I would do the same for him.

I looked into his eyes before stepping closer to him, letting myself be enveloped by his arms. I closed my eyes against his chest, listening to the silence caused by the absence of a heartbeat.

"I wouldn't change anything if I could go back," I said softly.

He kissed me on the forehead. "I love you," he whispered into my hair.

"I love you too, Carlisle."