Carlisle Cullen Angst - Tumblr Posts

Hi! Could you write a Carlisle x Fem! Or GN! Reader in which Carlisle knows that he and reader are mates but he doesn’t know just how to explain it to reader without freaking her out? It can be angsty or fluffy.

You don’t have to if you don’t want to but thank you for reading this💖

Stay hydrated!!

yes, no problem at all!

You're my half | Carlisle Cullen

Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x reader

Warnings: angsty with happy ending, post new moon.

Word count: 1.2k

It was once again that I found myself standing in front of his house, even after struggling to accept his true nature. For the first few months, I couldn't even bear to watch him at work, trying my best to avoid him.

But it was only when he disappeared for months without telling anyone that I realized how important he was to me; I missed his touch, his cold lips on mine, and his gentle caress that I never would have connected to a vampire.

I hid my trembling hands in the pockets of my jacket, trying not to show my anxiety. He had called me, saying he needed to talk to me about something very important and fundamental to our relationship.

I didn't even have time to knock on the door before Carlisle appeared before me in all his beauty. He became more beautiful every time I saw him, like an angel with his blond hair, pale skin, and flawless complexion like porcelain.

The first time we met, I already knew what our destiny would be; it was a strange sensation, I had never felt something so strong for someone I didn't even know.

"Hello, sweetheart," he moved aside to let me in, placing a hand on my back to guide me into the living room. "How was work today?"

He kissed the top of my head gently. "Good, dear. Donna was so worried about your absence," I said sarcastically, mentioning the nurse who continuously flirted with Carlisle in the hospital as if I weren't standing right there.

Carlisle chuckled. "Forget about her. You're here, and you're the only woman I want."

He said the last part with a slightly melancholic look, which made me worry a bit. It took me a moment to notice his unusual demeanor; he seemed a bit distant, and within me, a fear grew that he might leave again.

"Come here," he took my hands and led me to the couch, sitting down beside me. "There's something important I need to talk to you about, love."

Was he going to leave me?

I settled on his couch, watching him carefully, seeing him for the first time in distress. He always had the right words, ready to talk about anything with anyone without any trouble, yet now he seemed troubled.

I remained silent, patiently waiting for him to speak. He averted his gaze from my eyes, looking down at his now free hands, fidgeting nervously.

"I honestly don't know how to begin… It's complicated for me, for us, and I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to stay with me," he started, his voice hesitant.

"What do you mean, Carlisle? Has something happened?" My voice must have been filled with concern because Carlisle lifted his eyes to meet mine, smiling slightly and taking my hands in his.

"No, sweetheart, nothing has happened," he reassured me, massaging the back of my hand with his thumb. "You know, remember, the first time we met?"

I looked at him, puzzled. "Uh, yes, very well," I chuckled. "Why?"

Carlisle sighed, though he didn't really need to. "Do you remember what you felt? What you still feel for me?"

"Where are you going with this?" He was only confusing me more.

He looked away again, his gaze shifting elsewhere. "It wasn't a coincidence, it wasn't the typical love-at-first-sight that everyone talks about, but it has something to do with my nature."

I continued to watch him, nervous and perhaps a bit uncomfortable on the couch. He was making me worry; I had never seen him like this, not even when he confessed to being a vampire.

"We vampires, living for eternity, need someone to be with us for eternity. To not be alone. Each of us has someone out there in the world who is like a lifelong companion, a mate."

I didn't understand where he was going with this, I couldn't see where the problem lay.

"And you are that person for me," his voice was low, almost a whisper, and my confusion deepened. I was happy for him, especially if I was that person.

Then I realized that if I was that person, his mate, he would have to turn me to stay with me. I could die at any moment, even returning home after this conversation.

"So, uh, you'll have to-"

"No, if you don't want to, it's fine," he interrupted hastily. "But that's not what I wanted you to understand. It's reciprocal, as you are my mate, I am yours, and…"

"And?" I became impatient, perhaps finally understanding what he was trying to tell me.

"I'm sorry for making you call off the wedding with Thomas, it wasn't my intention. I tried to stay away from you as much as possible knowing you were engaged, I didn't want to ruin your life."

The realization of what he had just told me hit me like a slap in the face; now it all made sense, there was an explanation for why all the feelings I had for Thomas had vanished into thin air after years of engagement.

It had been him, unconsciously, but it had been him.

I let go of his hands, drawing them back and rising from the couch to walk around a bit. I needed to relax; my heart was pounding in my chest like crazy. It couldn't be possible.

I loved Carlisle, but before him, I would have had a perfect life. I would have gotten married, grown old with grandchildren running around my house, and died knowing I had lived my life to the fullest, with Thomas.

But with Carlisle, oh things would be very different. My life had been turned upside down; I would have to stop living to have a happy life with him. I wouldn't have what I had grown to love.

"Love…" Carlisle tried to take my hand to pull me closer, but I stepped aside.

"Uh, no, give me a moment."

"I'm sorry, I tried to keep you away," his voice was full of sadness as he looked at me, also standing now.

I felt manipulated in a way, but at the same time, I couldn't bring myself to be angry with Carlisle; it wasn't his fault, and I loved him too much to see him in a different light.

He remained still, watching me until my heartbeat calmed down and my thoughts stopped racing in my head. As much as I hated that I left Thomas because of Carlisle, I couldn't imagine a different future now.

I had learned to love the man before me, to accept the fact that he was different from me and that his family was anything but normal. Carlisle was there for me; he would do anything for me, and I would do the same for him.

I looked into his eyes before stepping closer to him, letting myself be enveloped by his arms. I closed my eyes against his chest, listening to the silence caused by the absence of a heartbeat.

"I wouldn't change anything if I could go back," I said softly.

He kissed me on the forehead. "I love you," he whispered into my hair.

"I love you too, Carlisle."