Erica: Do You Think Normal Dogs See Police Dogs And Go "oh Shit, A Cop"?

Erica: Do you think normal dogs see police dogs and go "oh shit, a cop"?

Isaac: Whoa, do they???

Boyd: Does the police dog have its little vest on?

Derek: It's 2am. Go to sleep. Go the fuck to sleep.

young Peter gets the xth time arrested by Deputy Stilinski, who can't understand why nowadays Peter gets caught every time (since he fished a very wet Peter out of the fountain on mainstreet)

Well this turned out much angstier than I thought it would, anon! Whoops. 

(And you can check out all my drabbles over on AO3 in Word Soup) 

The End Chapters

There’s something in Claudia’s laughwhen he tells her that John doesn’t quite get.

“What?” he asks, jostling for spacein the tiny kitchen of their tiny apartment, and her smile grows. “What?”

She reaches past him to help herselfto a handful of the corn chips he just tipped into a bowl. Her eyes are brightand sparkle with mischief. “He’s got a crush on you!”

“What?” John scoffs, the color risingin his cheeks. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

Claudia laughs, and hooks her fingersthrough his belt loops. She reels him in for a kiss. “Who’s being ridiculous?You’re hot as hell, Deputy Stilinski.” She slaps him on the ass. “And you’reall mine too, and don’t you forget it!”

Forget it? John’s the luckiest manalive. Of course he’d never forget it.

***

The next week when John fishes a verywet, very dripping, very clingy Peter Hale out of the fountain on Main Street,he figures that Claudia very possibly has a point. Peter only seems to get introuble when John’s on duty, and he bites his lip when he’s being frisked  and pushes back in a way that isincredibly disconcerting. He’s a teenager.The kid’s only fifteen years old, for god’s sake, and John really can’t evenbegin to list the ways that’s creepy as all fuck.

“I’m getting pretty tired of this,Peter,” John says as he’s putting Peter into the back of his cruiser. “Watchyour head.”

Peter clambers in, his wet jeanssquelching. He pouts a little. “Don’t be such a killjoy, Deputy Stilinski.”

Then, when he knows John’s watching,he swipes his tongue over his lower lip and blinks slowly.

Dammit. Claudia was right.

John slams the door shut and climbsinto the driver’s seat.

He has absolutely no doubt that, ifhe asked, Peter would happily drop to his knees and blow him. Jesus. The mostsickening thing about that scenario is that somewhere there exists the sort ofpredator who would ask.

“You need to stop this nonsense, Peter,” he says sternly. “I’m prettysure your parents are getting tired of picking you up from the station.”

In the rear view mirror, Peter slumps against the back seat and rollshis eyes.

“And I’m getting pretty tired of it too,” John says. He holds Peter’sgaze. “I know what you’re playing at, and it’s not cute, it’s not funny, andit’s never going to happen.”

Something that’s almost like vulnerability flashes across the kid’sface, before he juts his bottom lip out in a petulant scowl and rolls his eyesagain.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Deputy,” he says.

He clearly does though, since he doesn’t cross John’s radar again formonths.

***

Keep reading

Imagine all the irritation when peter/sheriff and stiles/derek having a double wedding. "Would you mister stilinski marry mister hale?" // Imagine they send the wrong Hale to the sighning because they're late.

Bwahahahaha! 

“Listen,” John says later, unfastening his tie. “It’s just a clerical mix up, and it’s going to get sorted out after the weekend.” 

“Meanwhile, you’re married to my husband and I’m married to yours!” Stiles hisses. 

The mix up was only discovered after the joint reception. Luckily, because John knows otherwise Stiles would not have coped well with having to smile for the photos and play nice with relatives they haven’t seen in years with this hanging over his head. 

Peter wanders by, drinking champagne from the bottle. “So how do we do this? Stiles, are you sleeping in my suite tonight or should I come to yours?” 

“Peter!” John exclaims. “You’re not helping.” 

“I’m not here to help,” Peter leers. 

Derek sighs, and puts an arm around Stiles’s shoulders. “It’s just a piece of paper, Stiles. It doesn’t mean anything.” 

“Listen to Step-Daddy Derek,” Peter grins, and then chortles when Stiles throws him a murderous glare. 

“Dad!” Stiles wails. 

“Derek, take Stiles back to your room,” John says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And make sure he drinks some water! And Peter…” 

“Yes, nephew-in-law?” Peter smirks. 

John sighs. “You’re never going to let this go, are you? This is what the rest of our life together is going to be like, isn’t it? This is what I’ve signed up for?” 

“Technically, it’s what Stiles has signed up for.” 

Derek catches Stiles around the waist before he can actually punch Peter in the face, but i’s a near thing. 

“Go,” John says to Derek, and Derek hoists a protesting Stiles up into a fireman carry and left the room. 

“Well then,” Peter purrs. “Alone at last.” 

“Oh,” John deadpans. “We couldn’t possibly. Not while we’re married to other people.” 

And he heads for the bathroom and shuts the door. 

“John?” Peter complains complains loudly from the other side. “John, seriously? John?” 

John smiles to himself in the mirror. No, not seriously, but let him suffer for a while. It serves him right for being a dick. And if John didn’t have at least a few tricks up his sleeve for how to deal with Peter in dick mode, well, he never would have agreed to marry the guy. 

stiles: we have a problem.

derek: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps causing them.

has this been done already

where I needed you, and I need you still