Hm. Great Success. Topic Changed And Though She'll Bring It Back Around Soon Enough. Holly Looks Up

                Hm.    Great    success.    Topic    changed    and    though    she'll    bring    it    back    around    soon    enough.    Holly    looks    up    at    John    (    as    much    as    she    could    ),    and    sighs.    Pads    of    her    fingers    remain    planted    on    his    jaw    for    a    few    moments    longer    before    she's    pulling    them    away,    though    she    stays    firmly    planted    where    she    is    in    front    of    him.    Holly    wouldn't    argue    if    he    had    decided    he    wanted    his    shirt    back    right    this    instant.

                "    Get    you    to    shut    up.    Kind    of    worked.    "

it takes him by surprise, but he doesn't fight it. one hand goes to her wrist to hold it in place on his jaw while the other lands on her hip, pulling her body against his. when she pulls away, teeth playfully nip at her bottom lip — forehead presses to hers in a rare show of domesticity. fingers dig into the white fabric of his shirt [ he has half a mind to rip it off of her, but he doesn't ] & brown eyes are glued to her. he knows he could get used to this, & maybe that fact alone is what scares him. he opts to shove that feeling back down, keeping their bodies pressed together instead. ❛ what was that for, kid? ❜

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲.

side blog to thehollyverse

                "    I    don't    know    what    fuckin'    goes    on    in    the    back    of    your    fucked    up    head,    Jimmy.    Cause    if    you    ask    me,    yeah,    you    probably    do.    "    He's    tapping    on    his    phone    a    few    more    moments    before    locking    it    and    sliding    it    back    into    his    coat    pocket.    Another    sip    of    his    warm    beer,    and    he's    leaning    back    against    the    chair.

                "    You're    shakin'    like    a    cornered    nun,    dude,    maybe    use    the    fuckin'    counter    for    that,    yeah    ??    "

Hefty snort and he pings up in his chair, bolt of lightning through him, power of Zeus type shit. "How's it a problem?" Spit from drunken mouth, snarled with little intention, "I get mine." His quaking leg had ruined the line he'd put out for Nick, so he was back to it, chop chop chop.

"You really that fuckin' horny man? I'd rather one'a them fuckin' -- hover-boards. Wiped a guy off one'a them e-bikes the other day, you know, with the fuckin' app? I dunno. Guy just came out'ta nowhere, before I knew it I'd grabbed him and thrown him under a moving taxi. Don't know what the fuck came over me." A mile a minute, he doesn't stop, the concussion hasn't cleared, but it's definitely on the back-burner, "you think I want to fuck a robot after that shit?"

                His    tears    wrap    their    hands    around    her    heart    and    squeeze    so    fucking    tight    it    hurts.    God,    she    wish    she    could    take    it    back.    Holly    doesn't    realize    she    has    a    problem,    though.    She    knows    she    drinks    a    lot,    and    does,    but    she    is    under    the    impression    of    'I    can    stop    any    time'.    That's    the    biggest    fucking    lie    to    herself,    to    Hugo    especially.

                Chest    rises    with    a    sigh.    Holly    throws    the    blanket    off    of    herself.    She    reaches    over    to    pick    up    the    empty    bottle    and    heads    to    the    kitchen    without    a    word.    She's    not    pissed    off.    At    least    not    at    him,    no.    At    herself,    absolutely.    More    than    he    would    ever    know-    because    she    hates    being    reminded    of    those    things    you've    worked    so    hard    to    forget.    She's    been    there,    done    that.    And    none    of    it    was    fun.

                Bottle    is    thrown    in    the    trash    now,    and    she    reminds    herself    to    empty    out    the    others    later    (    she    won't    ).    The    woman    wants    nothing    more    than    to    hug    him,    squeeze    him    tight    and    hold    his    head    to    her    chest    and    tell    him    that    everything    is    okay    and    that    she    means    no    harm    but    she    knows    it's    best    to    go    against    that.    Not    right    now,    not    when    she    reek's    of    her    own    sins.

                Instead,    Holly    moves    to    the    bathroom    that    Hugo    had    called    home    for    the    better    part    of    three    hours    and    strips,    turning    on    the    shower    and    hopping    in.    She    doesn't    care    much    that    the    door    was    left    open.    No,    but    this    conversation    was    one    meant    to    be    had    when    Holly    had    sobered    up    a    little    bit.

There were problems in every relationship. He knew that and was reminded of that sad fact of life by the little elderly ladies in his knitting circle— everyone has things that are raw and tender and loving someone meant allowing them to touch those places.

And sometimes it hurts. And sometimes they don't initially handle it with care. And sometimes they don't even realize how tender you really were.

Holly is being braver than him, shaking her head at his apology, not breaking in front of him due to how he shut her out, how she comforts him with her words— she may not think she was so good, but Hugo knew she was.

Even if he had been frightened— another day when this didn't sting so much, he might laugh at it. He had been so terrified, bad memories and associations flooding his senses...like Holly could harm him. Like she would think to do such a thing. That in her inebriated state she would stop loving him and turn into someone who hated him.

He thinks she should hate him for how he acted, no matter how valid the reaction may have been for what he's been through.

"...Yes, I did." Not entirely, but he had a hand in it. He didn't tell her. Didn't warn her. "I did not..." A hand runs down his face and he can feel how it still shakes. It's barely noticeable, barely felt, but against his lips, he can feel how the nerves beneath the skin jump.

"...I do not drink...because I am...afraid I will become something bad." Hugo starts, slow, soft, like any of the words he speaks might be the one to make him fall apart. "I grew up with someone who...drank and was cruel to me."

The empty bottle on the ground by her feet seems to mock him, the dim light still making it glint and reminding him of its presence. "When I smell it," He can feel a tear he didn't even know was forming slide down his cheek. "...I am reminded."

Hand wipes away the wet streak on his cheek, the heel of his hand digging into his eye, pushing back any tears that threatened to spill. "I don't...I don't want to be reminded. I have tried so hard to...to forget."

@filthystill | cont

                A    simple    I    don't    wanna    talk    about    it    would    have    been    acceptable...    but    it's    Jimmy.    Nothing    is    ever    that    fucking    simple.    It's    all    rage    and    violence,    even    when    faced    with    innocence    and    gentleness    and    kindness-    it's    a    wonder    he's    survived    this    long.

                The    yelling    catches    her    off    guard,    though    it    shouldn't.    Not    with    Jimmy.    No,    if    he's    not    got    a    kilo    of    coke    in    front    of    him,    he's    fucking    yelling,    it    seems.    It    does    shake    her    up    a    bit,    hands    raising    in    a    defensive    position.    He    hasn't    had    the    best    track    record    for    touching    without    malicious    intent.    Though    she's    inclined    to    believe    that    he    wouldn't,    not    today    at    least.    And    if    he    did    ??    Well,    at    least    she    could    be    useful.

                "    Hey,    Jimmy...    that's    not    how    I    meant    that-    "    Hardly    has    any    clue    what    she's    really    doing,    though    she    always    plays    the    mom    friend...    this    man    is    no    different.    She's    dealt    with    Nicks    drug    fueled    emotional    out    bursts    on    multiple    occasions,    though    she    always    knew    the    outcome.    Jimmy    is    a    fucking    wild    card.

                "    I-I    didn't    unzip    anythin',    okay    ??    It    was    just    a    question,    Jimmy...    I    was    just    checkin'    in    on    ya    is    all...    "

the half cannot truly hate what makes it whole.

a selective & low activity multi-muse with muses from the last kingdom, merlin, the wheel of time and more! oc and crossover friendly. written by vic.