Thread Holly - Tumblr Posts

                Nails    pick    at    the    frayed    skin    of    her    fingers,    very    clearly    nervous.    Ever    since...    well    ALL    of    that    happening,    she    couldn't    handle    being    left    alone    for    an    extended    period    of    time.    It    was    too    much    for    her,    and    she's    finally    feeling    what    PTSD    she    should    have    felt    all    those    years    ago.    It    was    fucking    hard.

                Holly    swallows,    inhales,    chest    rises    and    falls    and    eyes    finally    catch    Lena's.    She    gives    a    nod    and    agrees    to    help.    It    gives    her    something    to    do,    to    not    feel    so    useless    as    she    often    had    nowadays.    

                "    Yeah,    where    d'you    want    me    to    start    ??    "

She’s    nimble    fingers. A    delicate    touch    on    harsh    tablets    as    she    scours    through    lyric’s    scribbles    and    sketches    to    match    the    two    symbols    at    hand. The    attic    itself    was    silent    aside    from    the    soft    shuffle    and    hiss    of    a    custom    made    grandfather    clock    in    the    corner. Outside    the    grand    stained    glass    window    the    sun    began    to    make    it    decent,    dropping    behind    the    trees    and    setting    its    sights    for    the    horizon. Lena    can    feel    the    air    shifting,    the    restless    curl    of    something    wicked    rising    in    the    distance. It    makes    her    stomach    cinch    and    her    brow    furrow,    as    her    nails    skim    each    line    over    and    over    again    trying    to    find    the    exact    match.

There    is    no    alert    to    holly’s    presence,    the    room    does    not    quake    nor    does    the    air    flip    or    shift. All    is    still    as    if    she    belongs    there    in    the    room    all    along,    it    is    only    when    her    pale    blonde    hair    is    caught    out    of    the    corner    of    lena’s    eye    does    she    start. Jerking    up    her    dark    eyes    wide,    she    can    feel    her    heart    stutter    in    her    chest    brows    rising    as    she    gives    a    curious    look    to    the    other    girl. She’d    left    her    in    the    kitchen    among    the    few    goods    laurel    had    abandoned,    and    the    cats    that    milled    around    the    property. Had    she    been    gone    that    long?    she    could’ve    swore    she’d    only    left    her    five    minutes    ago. Holly’s    answer    is    soft,    an    explanation    and    lena    can    only    give    a    softer    but    tense    smile. “    it’s    okay,    i    don't    like    being    alone    all    too    much    either. Do    you    wanna    help    me?    four    eyes    would    be    far    better    than    just    two.

@thehollyverse sent: " i hate being alone . " for Lena from holly!

                Does    she    look    at    him    ??    And    if    she    does,    does    she    smile    ??    Does    she    apologize    ??    Holly's    usually    good    at    these    situations,    but    never    has    she    dealt    with    something    like    this.    It's    strange    territory    she's    stepping    into,    but    she    does    hope    the    man    knows    she    means    no    harm    in    it.    Finally    she    does    decide    to    tear    her    gaze    from    her    phone    and    give    him    a    glance.

                "    I'm    sure    you're    very    handsome,    Philo.    "

                Though    she's    never    seen    his    face,    not    really.    Holly    looks    back    at    her    phone,    deciding    that    the    topic    at    hand    wasn't    something    they    needed    to    discuss    any    further.    She's    sure    he    doesn't    wanna    give    her    a    sob    story,    and    Holly    doesn't    want    to    sound    patronizing.    Finger    scrolls    at    the    screen    again.

                "    Oh,    look,    they    have    seitan.    "

He snickers— fun time is all the time with Philo! Apparently!

Once she's settled in, he's off. They cruise in his pickup— which you would think for a guy who is paid to kill people would be a little nicer or at least a newer model— towards the little vegan truck, which should be across town in the little strip of food trucks he frequents. "Maybe after we can visit one of the sweet food trucks. Get donuts or something; there's a space-themed one! Astro-nut." Terrible name, really. But it's there.

The topic shifts from bad business names to his mask and Philo chuckles. He gets a lot of questions about it, mostly from people on the street. Employers don't care what he wears so long as he does a job but everyone else feels pretty uncomfortable about it.

"I take it off to shower. And to wash it 'cause you can imagine how dirty it can get." He sniffs, shrugs. "But, uh, yeah I wear it all the time." Thumbs nervously tap at the wheel as he drives, unsure how to explain it without sounding...sad.

"I have issues with...uh, my face. Don't like looking at it. So...mask! Works really well for the job. And it's a conversation starter!"

                Hm.    Great    success.    Topic    changed    and    though    she'll    bring    it    back    around    soon    enough.    Holly    looks    up    at    John    (    as    much    as    she    could    ),    and    sighs.    Pads    of    her    fingers    remain    planted    on    his    jaw    for    a    few    moments    longer    before    she's    pulling    them    away,    though    she    stays    firmly    planted    where    she    is    in    front    of    him.    Holly    wouldn't    argue    if    he    had    decided    he    wanted    his    shirt    back    right    this    instant.

                "    Get    you    to    shut    up.    Kind    of    worked.    "

it takes him by surprise, but he doesn't fight it. one hand goes to her wrist to hold it in place on his jaw while the other lands on her hip, pulling her body against his. when she pulls away, teeth playfully nip at her bottom lip — forehead presses to hers in a rare show of domesticity. fingers dig into the white fabric of his shirt [ he has half a mind to rip it off of her, but he doesn't ] & brown eyes are glued to her. he knows he could get used to this, & maybe that fact alone is what scares him. he opts to shove that feeling back down, keeping their bodies pressed together instead. ❛ what was that for, kid? ❜

@holyfailed asked: [ MELT ]  for the taller muse to lean down so they can bury their face into the shorter one’s shoulder.  (ty/holly) from here

                He    has    a    long    way    to    travel    when    he    hunches    over.    His    forehead    presses    to    Holly's    shoulder,    hands    wrapped    around    her    waist,    and    she    smiles.    An    arm    rests    on    the    back    of    his    own    shoulder,    digits    of    her    other    hand    coming    up    to    thread    gently    through    his    light    hair.    Lips    spread    in    a    wide    smile,    heart    thumping    in    her    chest.    It's    the    umpteenth    time    he's    done    this,    but    it    never    gets    old    for    her.    She    loves    it.

                "    You    tired,    babe    ??    "

                They    act    as    if    this    is    common    knowledge,    like    everyone    knew    that    Johanna    didn't    care    for    this    shit,    but    if    Holly's    going,    then    they're    going.    And    maybe    it's    true,    and    everyone    else    knew    before    she    did.    The    woman    was    never    the    observant    type,    never    noticed    how    her    lover    looked    at    her,    catching    a    glimpse    when    eyes    searched    for    their    figure.    Though    she's    been    told    once    or    twice.

                A    hand    raises,    beer    in    her    grip    as    a    finger    lifts    to    point    at    her    own    chest.    A    questioning    look    spreads    across    her    face.

                "    Like,    in    an    innocent    way,    or    in    a...    bedroom    kinda    way    ??    "

@thehollyverse (holly) said: ❛ if this shit is not fun for you, what the fuck is fun for you? ❜

THEY STARE AT HOLLY LIKE SHE HUNG THE MOON & STARS: a glint of happiness in their eye that had become so rare in the last several years. smile twitching at the corner of their lips as a hand tucks holly's blonde hair behind her ear, gentle in a way that was reserved only for her. it was true, that the party raging around them in the clubhouse [ full of mayans, broken saints, & various other women alike ] wasn't johanna's idea of fun, but sitting here with holly? that's what was special. ❛ spendera tid med dig. you are my fun. ❜

* MEME, always accepting.

@s-unfleur asked: [ PULL ] for the shorter muse to tug the taller one down by the collar to kiss them. / holly + evil seth from here

                His    hands    had    been    stained    with    blood-    more    people    than    Holly    would    like    to    know.    Honestly    she    could    have    gone    her    whole    life    not    knowing    what    he    did    (    though    it's    hard    when    him    and    his    brothers    face    had    been    plastered    all    over    the    tv    and    news    papers    however    long    ago    ).    Sure,    he    was    an    asshole,    a    prick    who    cared    for    no    one    but    his    brother,    a    bank    robber,    a    man    who    didn't    give    a    shit    about    ANYONE.    And    yet,    with    Holly,    it    was    as    if    he    was    a    completely    different    person.    His    hands    were    washed    of    his    sins    in    the    holy    water    she    had    blessed    herself.

                Every    damn    time    he    had    left,    it    gave    Holly    a    panic    attack.    She's    unsure    if    he'd    ever    come    back    to    her    (    not    because    he    didn't    want    to,    but    because    other    people    had    different    plans    for    the    man    ).    Eyes    watch    as    he    checks    his    pockets    for    his    essentials,    but    her    hand    twitches,    and    fingers    wrap    around    the    black    tie    he    wore.    She    pulls    him    down    into    a    kiss.    Lips    press    firmly    to    his,    lingering    a    moment.    When    Holly    pulls    back,    she    lets    go    of    his    tie,    smoothing    it    out,    fixing    the    mess    she    made.

@s-unfleur asked: you seem really anxious. are you okay? / holly + evil richie from here

                What    gave    it    away    ??    Was    it    the    shake    of    her    leg,    the    chewing    on    the    skin    around    her    nail,    the    thousand    yard    stare    she    had    going    on    ??    Occasionally    she    was    able    to    hide    it,    though    if    anxiety    has    turned    into    paranoia,    it    was    much    harder    to    do    so.    Not    that    she    could    hide    it    from    Richie.    He    couldn't    read    people    well,    but    he    could    tell    when    they    were    lying.

                Elbow    rests    on    the    counter,    his    words    don't    stop    her    from    shake,    shake,    shaking.    Though,    they    do    seem    to    calm    her    down    a    moment.    Gaze    falls    upon    his    as    it    looks    as    though    she    had    been    pulled    from    some    kind    of    distraction.    What    isn't    she    fucking    anxious    about    ??

                "    Mm    ??    No,    I'm    fine,    Richie.    "

@s-unfleur asked: you know i'll always pick up. no matter what. / holly + evil seth from here

                Chest    rises,    inhale    in    through    nose    as    she    stares    at    him.    Even    when    he    had    been    high    on    heroine,    he    still    managed    to    answer    the    damn    phone.    Sure,    is    speech    was    slurred,    but    he    still    answered.    Holly    was    terrified    she'd    lose    him    to    an    over    dose.    When    she    heard    that    Sonja    had    helped    him    out,    it    had    felt    like    a    weight    was    lifted    off    of    her    shoulders.

                Holly    isn't    one    to    speak.    What    with    the    cocaine    she    somehow    got    addicted    to    (    it's    just    a    party    drug,    it's    not    an    every    day    thing    !!    )    and    the    alcohol    she    practically    drinks    like    water,    it's    a    wonder    there's    no    hole    in    her    nose    and    ulcers    in    her    stomach.    Though    Seth    hadn't    been    around    for    any    of    that,    he    was    off    playing    house    in    Mexico    while    she    was    fucking    stuck    state    side.    Holly    loves    it    here,    the    constant    check    ins    from    Richie    and    Santanico    made    life    a    tiny    bit    easier...    but    it    had    still    been    rough    without    him    here.

                "    I    know.    "    She    says,    finger    tapping    on    the    marble    counter    top.    Suddenly    she    runs    her    hand    through    her    hair.    "    I    know,    I'm    just    scared    one    day    you    won't.    "

                Well    now    she's    wondering    what    he    did    to    his    last    therapist.    The    fact    that    he    had    one    to    begin    with    was    astounding    to    her.    She    figured    his    therapy    was    drugs    and    fucking    and    beating...    maybe    someone    forced    him    to.

                Eyes    remain    glued    on    him,    assessing    his    next    moves    carefully    (    as    if    he    was    predictable    to    her    ).    Hands    still    held    their    place,    though    lowered    just    a    little    to    show    that    she's    eased    up.    Maybe    that'll    calm    him    down    too.

                "    Jimmy,    I    don't    think    anythin'.    "    Poor    choice    of    words    on    her    part    though    to    be    fair,    she    tends    to    flip    the    thinking    switch    off    when    around    Nick.    "    Just    calm    the    fuck    down,    alright    ??    You    want    another    drink    ??    I'll    go    get    you    another    drink.    "    Before    he    could    agree    or    deny    it,    she's    turned    to    move    towards    the    kitchen.    Better    to    escape    the    situation    than    escalate    it.

He had burst, plain and simple, she asked what was wrong with him, why he was the way that he was. You can either swallow your own tongue, choke, die, or you can scream, shout, begin assaulting the wall like an adolescent, boot through drywall, stuck, god, anger is so embarrassing.

"Well," struggling against the wall, trying to free himself, "fuckin' don't, alright?" Finally, free, he loved leaving marks, digging holes in the wall, spades for knuckles. Just something to say he'd been there. He'd fucked here. He'd killed here. He'd cried here.

"You think your my mommy? You wanna tuck me up in bed 'cos you love me? Get fucking real. Don't ask me that shit again, unless you want me to treat you like my last therapist."

@s-unfleur asked: [ GENTLE ] for the smaller muse to hug the taller one while they are seated so the taller one can hide their face against them. / holly + evil richie from here

                Arms    wrap    around    the    nape    of    his    neck,    Richie's    face    BURIED    in    her    chest.    He    likes    hiding    from    the    world    sometimes,    it    doesn't    understand    him...    but    she    understands    him.    Holly    likes    to    think    she    understands    him    very    well,    though    the    reality    is    that    she    never    will.

                A    hand    comes    up    to    run    through    pomaded    hair,    cheek    leaning    against    the    top    of    his    head.    Movements    pause    as    Holly    holds    the    man    closer.    She    feels    as    if    she    lets    go,    he    might    disappear    from    her    again.

                "    You    doin'    okay,    Richie    ??    "

                Holly    will    come    to    regret    her    own    actions    in    the    following    hours.    The    bruise    left    on    her    wrist    serving    her    as    a    constant    reminder    that    even    men    you    trust    will    hurt    you.    Though,    those    thoughts    will    only    come    when    she's    sober,    only    to    be    fucked    up    again    the    second    she's    able    to,    to    get    rid    of    the    thoughts.    But    for    now    ??    For    now,    she's    here    with    her    wrist    caught    in    his    grasp.

                It    was    an    immediate    reaction,    one    she    wishes    she    hadn't    acted    out    on    even    now.    Was    she    so    comfortable    with    the    man    that    there    wasn't    even    a    second    thought    behind    her    action    ??    Most    likely,    but    his    yelling    and    the    tight    grip    still    forces    tears    to    well    up    in    her    eyes    as    she    stares    at    him.    She    looks    shocked,    whether    or    not    it    was    due    to    her    action    or    his,    she    can't    tell.    Right    now,    she's    twelve    again,    and    her    grandmother    takes    the    place    of    Mikey.

                Eyes    blink    rapidly,    trying    to    make    her    grandmother    go    away    (    you    know    it's    bad    when    she    finds    comfort    in    the    man    who    just    yelled    and    grabbed    her    wrist    tightly    over    her    grandmother    ).    Holly    folds    in    on    herself    almost,    wrist    tugging    at    his    grip.

                "    Let    GO.    "

@thehollyverse (holly) said: [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face

there was a cacophony of drugs in his system, & maybe that's why he walked through the door ready to burn everything to the ground. if he'd been sober, they would've talked it out like adults. but neither were, & somewhere in the back of his head he wonders if it's his fault that she's been dragged down into this: day in, day out, sniffing white powder to numb everything . . . she would've been better off without him.

but that doesn't stop the anger when richie had mentioned sleeping with her in passing. conversation had stopped in its tracks then & there, his best friend's wide eyed gaze enough to make clear why mikey was so angry. barreling through the door like a man scorned, immediately in holly's face. never lays a hand on her, but oh was he close — no care that he had no room to talk, not when a mere few days ago he'd come home covered in marks put there by another woman [ whose name mikey can't even remember now ].

' you that much of a whore that you need to sleep with my best friend? ' practically screamed at her, no care for the way she flinches from him. when he's sober, he'll feel bad. the slap comes as a surprise: a sudden, stinging pain across his cheek & it takes his mind a moment to catch up & realize what she'd done. it's not enough to sober him up though, the coke & pills doing their part to only fuel the anger. hand grabs her wrist hard, too hard, she'll be left with a bruise that will make michael regret everything he's ever fucking done — ❛ the fuck do you think you're doing, huh? ❜

* MEME, always accepting.

                He    pulls    back,    eyes    finding    eyes    and    she    watches    as    he    lowers    his.    Sure,    Richard    could    lie    his    way    through    a    fucking    con,    but    with    things    like    this,    she    knows    he's    lying.    Only    because    Holly    knows    he    isn't    fine.    He    really    hasn't    been    since...    well.

                Brows    furrow    as    she    inhales,    head    tilting    just    slightly    to    one    side    (    was    it    genuine    curiosity,    or    a    tease    ??    ).    She    isn't    a    mind    reader,    but    Holly    is    smart    enough    to    put    two    and    two    together.

                "    You're    hungry.    "    She    states.

hands are glued to her hips, fingers digging into her skin just above the waistband of her skirt. breaths are slow, steady as he shuts his eyes. he doesn't remember the last time he was okay, mind a mess of broken pieces that he was still gluing back together. he doesn't burden her with it though, instead opting to listen to her heartbeat: like a calming drug, though it also sends a hunger pain through his body.

❛ i'm fine. ❜ that's a lie. fingers grip her tighter, almost strong enough to leave bruises in their wake. he pulls his head from her chest to blink up at her. ❛ just . . . ❜ he doesn't finish the thought, tongue wetting dry lips as his gaze settles on her pale neck: scars that had already healed only make the pale flesh more enticing.

                Holly    doesn't    resist.    In    fact    she's    awfully    malleable    when    he's    involved.    He    could    bend    and    break    her,    snap    her    in    two    and    shatter    her    heart    and    she'd    still    come    crawling    back    to    him.    Not    that    he    would...    well,    he    HASN'T    yet,    at    least.

                As    he    leans    in,    fingers    graze    against    his    skin,    thumb    stroking    at    his    cheek    bone    as    if    to    comfort    him    and    his    needs.    Holly    is    grateful    for    his    need    of    consent,    but    she    could    never    say    no    to    him.    Not    when    the    alternative    would    be    strangers,    other    women,    perhaps    ??    She    gets    a    little    jealous    from    time    to    time.    It    should    be    her    providing    this    for    him.

                "    Go    ahead.    "    Words    are    spoken    softly,    as    gentle    as    she    is.    Opposite    hand    coming    up    to    rest    on    his    chest    for    her    own    stability.    He    needs    to    feed    and    she    will    gladly    give    it    to    him.

something akin to a growl sounds in the back of his throat. & holly is promptly tugged until she falls in his lap, his face burying into the crook of her neck. fangs bare themselves, but he doesn't break her skin, not yet. a deep inhale & he's reminded that she smells [ & tastes ] like fucking HEAVEN. giving up being human is a small price to pay for having something so holy sitting in his lap.

perhaps he doesn't want to feed on her without her say so, or maybe he just likes to tease himself [ or a sickening combination of the two ] ❛ i need you. ❜ not sexually, no, nothing so carnal. in a much more primal way, as if he may turn to dust here & now if she denied him his sustenance.

                Even    if    he    didn't    intend    for    it    to    be    this    way,    she    felt    like    his    eyes    bore    into    the    back    of    her.    To    be    fair,    she    wouldn't    want    to    look    away    either,    were    the    roles    reversed.    There's    so    may    new    things    to    look    at,    he'll    have    to    learn    her    body    all    over    again    one    day,    when    she's    comfortable    enough.

                His    eyes    don't    bring    an    uneasiness.    In    fact,    she's    quite    used    to    it    now.    That    man    had    hardly    left    her    alone,    and    when    he    did,    it    was    in    the    dark    for    hours,    sometimes    even    days    on    end.    And    when    he    was    there,    he'd    stare    at    her.    Do    nothing    most    of    the    time    but    sit    and    stare    at    her.    It    brought    a    weird    comfort    to    Holly,    knowing    Hugo    was    watching.    It    was    her    new    norm,    and    he    had    brought    that    back    to    her.

                Hands    make    quick    work    of    changing,    pulling    her    shirt    over    her    torso,    pulling    her    pants    up    and    buttoning    them.    Boring,    mundane    things,    but    it    felt    nice    to    wear    normal    clothes    again.    Especially    something    that    belonged    to    her,    though,    she    supposed    that    those    loaners    were    hers    now    too.

                His    question    is    heard,    though    he    stands,    still    facing    the    bed.    She's    quiet,    hands    gripping    at    biceps    as    she    folds    her    arms    over    her    chest.    Teeth    chew    on    the    inside    of    her    cheek,    and    she    swears    she    chewed    so    hard    there    was    a    hole    in    her    skin    now...    though    she    tastes    no    blood.    There    isn't    even    any    feel    of    it.    Holly    shakes    her    head    no.

                "    I    can't    feel    anythin'.    "    And    she    forgets    for    a    moment    that    he    cannot    hear    what    she    says.    Holly    turns,    head    tilting    as    she    gets    a    good    look    at    him.    There's    another    shake    of    her    head    no.    

                "    No,    Hugo.    "    His    name    still    feels    foreign    on    her    tongue.    She    hadn't    said    his    name    in    months,    close    to    a    year.

Hugo has learned that why is a dangerous question to ask. Before her, he used to ask it all the time; why him? Why couldn't he have a normal life? A mundane, boring one— he would rather live with the monotony than the memories he harbored.

And then she entered his life, changing it completely. And he only ever asked why had someone so lovely fallen for him? Many times he felt he didn't deserve it while another part of him asked again; why not? Why could he not be happy now?

He doesn't want to ask again. It felt like tempting fate to start questioning things. They were allowed one beautiful romance and had been reunited despite hopeless circumstances. Even now, she may not look exactly as he remembered her, as she looked in the pictures of her in his study, but her touch feels the same. Colder, maybe, but he knows how Holly felt in his hands.

He can feel another sting in his eyes but he keeps his gaze firm. She didn't need to see him this way. She's been through enough without the added sorrow.

Even if her retracting from him stings more than the tears. For a brief moment of silent panic he wonders if she doesn't want o be near him. If whatever she's been through has made her afraid— afraid of others, maybe, he could understand that. But not him. Please not him.

Hugo only nods at her request, following behind at a safe distance, thinking it would be best to continue to give her space until...until what exactly? She got settled? He didn't know what that might look like now. Whatever this new life of hers was, he still wished to be a part of it.

Clothes are gathered. Borrowed clothes removed as Hugo stands in the doorway, head bowed to give her partial privacy— not fully, as he still worries if he looks away completely he may lose her— but even with his head down he could see them. The white lines across legs. The small healed nicks along bare feet.

Defensive wounds, like she had curled herself up to escape blows. Feet scars from running barefoot through harsh underbrush.

"Are you..." He exhales softly to steady his voice. "Are you in any pain?"

                The    shove    hurts.    Not    physically,    but    now    it's    her    turn    to    feel    as    if    he    had    just    stabbed    her.    She    asked    for    it,    did    she    not    ??    Her    exact    words    were,    in    fact,    let    go.    Hand    flies    to    wrist    immediately,    soothing    the    skin    that    feels    as    if    it    had    a    lighter    held    to    it.    It's    already    in    the    early    stages    of    a    bruise.

                The    tears    that    threaten    at    the    brim    of    her    eyes    finally    pass    the    precipice    and    stain    her    cheeks    as    she    forces    her    own    gaze    back    on    him.    It    wasn't    something    she    wanted    to    do    right    now.    This    was    something    she    wanted    to    deal    with    later,    but    Holly    knows    this    man    will    not    let    her    step    away    from    this.

                "    Was    I    usin'    you    for    coke    when    I    begged    you    to    come    save    me    from    my    ex    ??    Was    I    usin'    you    for    coke    when    I    spent    all    those    mornin's    makin'    you    breakfast    ??    Mikey    if    I    wanted    coke    that    bad    I'd    go    and    get    it    myself.    You're    just    too    fucked    up    to    see    that.    "

her tears don't even register in his mind. words fall on deaf ears, though his grip does loosen: just enough so it doesn't hurt. other hand takes hold of her jaw [ gently this time, though the rage still drives him forward ]. he was hurt, more than anything. maybe it was payback for what he had done, or maybe richie had planned all along to rip the rug from under mikey & have holly all to himself. neither thought was a welcome one.

brown eyes look at her with an overwhelming sense of BETRAYAL, heartbreak, self-hatred, fear of abandonment. everything combined into one sickening expression that could make someone think that holly had stabbed him straight through the heart. it would've been easier to stomach if she had. & he searches her face for something, anything, to tell him that she wanted to be richie with instead: & whatever he thinks he finds, he doesn't like. he laughs, incredulous, in some attempt to pretend that this wasn't happening.

rough fingers force her to look up at him, heart racing [ too fast, too fast, too fast ] in his chest. adrenaline courses right alongside the drugs. ❛ i've given you fucking everything. ❜ a place to live & a crippling coke addiction: how very kind of the man. the brokenness inside the man is clear in the way he shoves holly away from him, not too hard, but enough to get the point across that he doesn't want to touch her anymore [ not right now ]. ❛ you're just using me for the coke, aren't you? that all i was to you? ❜

                Maybe    they    wouldn't    exist    for    him…    but    for    Holly    it    was    still    very    real.    Still    making    the    white    powder    disappear,    drinking    the    alcohol    like    she    was    dying    of    thirst.    Seth    got    over    his    shit,    Holly    just    seemed    to    hide    it    better    for    longer.    Who    knows,    maybe    he'll    have    to    tie    her    to    a    chair    and    leave    her    there    for    days    too.    It    worked    for    him,    why    wouldn't    it    work    for    her    ??    (    probably    because    he's    gentler    on    her    than    everyone    is    on    him    )

                Hands    reach    for    his,    fingers    hooking    over    digits    as    eyes    shut    when    lips    press    to    forehead.    They    squeeze    a    moment.    But    at    the    mention    of    Richie,    they    snap    open    to    look    at    the    thief    once    more.    Holly    nods,    face    still    trapped    between    his    hands.    She    wont    let    him    leave    her    touch    just    yet.

                "    Yes.    "    It    was    more    reluctant    on    his    part.    They    had    better    things    to    do,    what    with    finding    Malvado.    Obviously    she    wasn't    privy    to    that,    just    some    more    jobs    is    what    she    was    told.    It's    okay,    Holly    didn't    want    to    know.    Though    what    she    does    know    is    that    Richie    loved    his    brother    enough    to    check    in    on    her.    Even    if    it    was    for    five    minutes.    Even    if    she    had    Nick.

                "    Did    you    have    fun    in    Mexico    ??    "    She    knew    it    wasn't    all    margaritas    and    sunsets    for    him.    Obviously    the    drugs    and    the    thieving    and    the...    whatever    the    fuck    they're    called.    Something    she    doesn't    want    to    be    involved    in.

he should've known that his shit would bleed onto holly. there was no way to avoid it, no way to compartmentalize aspects of his life. months spent in mexico, months spent shooting drugs into his veins while trying to forget the mess that had become of his relationship with his brother. it wasn't fair to expect holly to come out of it untouched. he doesn't like to talk about it, but it was an elephant in the room between them. hell, if he was given half a chance he might make a grab for the needle again: but he can't do that to her.

& instead of talking about it, he simply walks around the counter. gentle hands find a home on her cheeks to tilt her head up, keeping pretty blue eyes on him. somewhere along the way, he'd really fallen for her. something he hadn't thought possible after vanessa, but holly had managed to worm her way into his heart. that's why he's so determined to always make it home to her. even when things are falling apart, she's the one piece of sunshine he can always count on to still be there. despite their flaws, despite the world being hellbent on killing him, he wouldn't break his promise to her.

❛ i'm here now, baby. ❜ lips pressed to her forehead, fingers calmly tangling themselves in blonde hair. maybe if they don't talk about the drugs, it'll be like they never happened in the first place. it's a sickening kind of solace that he needs. ❛ richie take care of you? ❜ he knows the answer: the man would already be dead if he hadn't.

@dxsole asked: He's sipping his afternoon coffee a little too intensely. And he's quiet— well, Hugo is often quiet but he did seem to enjoy their morning chit-chats. Today it seemed he didn't have much to say— he only seems to ease up when he sees something moving in the corner of his eye. "Ah, have you seen Traugott?" It's said as casually as he could, seeing as he'd been silent for so long before. He nods his chin towards the rat that was now waddling in; Traugott had on a new sweater, a soft fuzzy green, and some sort of box tied up around his middle. Traugott, apparently, was none too pleased about being a ring bearer and made a sudden u-turn, making Hugo nearly choke on his coffee. "You might want to— get him," Although he's already stepping to grab the little troublemaker. "That's— that's for you."

                Finger    flips    page    after    page    of    the    book    she's    currently    got    her    nose    shoved    in,    hardly    paying    attention    to    the    dedicated    sipping    Hugo's    got    going    on.    Holly    can't    tell    the    difference,    not    when    she's    so    distracted    by    the    plot.    It's    a    good    book,    one    that    might    become    her    favorite.

                Finger    presses    to    ink    as    she    marks    the    spot    she    had    left    off,    eyes    following    Hugo's    own    gaze    to    see    the    fat    little    rat    waddling    about,    a    nice    fuzzy    sweater    wrapped    around    him.    It's    funny    to    see    the    little    box    sway    back    and    forth.    Book    mark    is    now    pressed    into    the    spine    of    the    book,    closing    it    and    setting    it    on    the    table.

                "    Why's    he    got    somethin'    for    me    ??    "    She    asks-    though    she's    sure    he    didn't    catch    that.    Holly    stands,    following    in    tow    as    Hugo    scrambles    for    the    rat,    and    in    a    sing    song    voice:    "    Traugoooootttt    !!    "

                She    knows    he    likes    to    yap-    like    the    annoying    younger    brother    she    never    had.    Well,    she    hoped    it    was    like    this.    Holly    grew    up    an    only    child,    she    didn't    have    any    siblings.    It    WAS    nice    distraction    though,    from    all    the    violence    and    trauma    she    was    constantly    put    through    day    in    and    day    out,    and    constantly    being    reminded    of    the    trauma    she    left    at    home.

                That's    not    entirely    true.    On    a    surface    level,    yeah,    he's    a    nut.    No    thoughts,    head    empty.    It's    FUNNY    though.    On    a    deeper    level,    she    knows    better    than    that.    She    knows    how    smart    he    truly    is.

                "    You're    LOSING,    Soap    !!    "

@thehollyverse's   holly   &   johnny   soap   mactavish   /   unprompted

“We’re gonna play the shut the fuck up game, you go first. Your turn!”

                    𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴   𝘪𝘴   𝘢   𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵   𝘫𝘰𝘩𝘯𝘯𝘺   𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘴   𝘰𝘯   𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦   𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯   —   it's   somewhat   expected   from   the   youngest   to   be   a   little   stupid.   he's   chosen   to   be   the   comedic   relief,   to   be   the   golden   retriever,   to   be   the   chaotic   one   everybody   expects   to   cause   trouble.

                    141   needed   someone   like   this   :   soap   is   sure   price   took   candidates'   personalities   into   consideration,   knowing   they'll   complement   each   other.

                    because,   in   all   seriousness,   mactavish   isn't   stupid.   he's   one   of   the   best   snipers,   a   genius   demolitionist,   the   youngest   to   join   SAS.

                    and   yet,   holly   sees   him   as   yapper   with   head   empty   of   any   thoughts.   and   maybe   that's   better   —   she   needs   that   kinda   distraction,   and   so,   he   furrows   his   brows   almost   conedically,   feigning   offense.

                    ❝   hey!   that's   unfair!   ❞

                    soap   protests,   because   he   doesn't   like   this   game.   façade   or   not,   he   really   likes   to   yap.

@s-unfleur asked: i can't be the only thing that gets you through the day. / chani + holly from here

                Sapho    stained    lips    twitch    upwards,    eyes    flickering    white    for    just    a    moment.    As    if    she    had    to    calculate    it.    Everything    was    calculated    for    Holly.    It    was    in    her    nature,    having    been    trained    to    be    the    one    thing    she    could    not    become    from    a    very    young    age.    And    even    where    she    failed,    her    father    still    saw    potential    in    the    girl.

                Maybe    there    was    one    or    two    other    things,    the    Sapho    juice    is    really    what    got    her    through    the    mind    numbing    meetings,    the    dullness,    the    monotony    of    it    all...    though    the    thought    of    Chani    still    did    wonders    for    her.    Fuck    Paul,    fuck    Duncan,    fuck    Gurney    and    her    father    and    Stilgar    and    every    other    person    she    knew    on    this    god    forsaken    planet.    And    fuck    the    Sapho.    It    was    Chani.

                "    No,    I    think    you    are,    my    love.    "

@s-unfleur asked: what we have is complicated, but it's good and real. / holly + chani from here

                Hands    are    folded    together,    lips    pulled    into    a    tight    line    as    she    thinks,    all    color    in    her    eyes    disappearing.    Holly    isn't    calculating    this    time,    no    she's    just    thinking.    About    the    situation    they're    in,    about    the    sietch,    about    Arrakis...    it's    all    complicated,    and    how    their    relationship    is    going    to    last,    she's    not    sure.    Surely    Holly    would    be    kicked    out    permanently    of    the    government    mansion    for    this...    her    father    wouldn't    be    happy,    but    she    would    be.

                "    It    is.    But    I've    never    been    happier.    I've    come    to    terms    with    the    most    likely    outcome    of    my    own    situation...    and    I'm    not    upset    about    it    one    bit.    Not    as    long    as    you're    there.    "