Thread Holly - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
@s-unfleur asked: i used to feel very alone. i was scared i'd always feel that way. / holly + chani from here
Hands grasp at Chani's, red stained lips spreading up into a wide smile. The grip she has is akin to a vice, TERRIFIED that if she were to let go, she'd lose her Fremen lover. She is, after all, a soldier. Holly was not meant for this, she was meant for meetings and political stances. A human computer at best, though Chani saw right through that.
" I did too... but I'm here. We have each other now, there's no need to be scared any more. "
@s-unfleur asked: are you going to be okay? / holly + paul from here
Chest rises, eyes fidning anything other than his eyes, or the prying eyes from the other side of the sietch. Holly gets it, it's extremely rare they ever have any outsiders here. Have there ever been any at all ?? Perhaps Duncan Idaho, he had been the only one in who knows how long. She doesn't particularly care to think about any of it at all.
The past twenty-four hours had been hard on all of them... Holly hadn't thought that the Harkonnens would drive them out of their home. A calculation she did not account for. God, she's so stupid for not even seeing it. Had she of, maybe she could have said something, maybe Leto would still be alive and they'd all be at the mansion and they could have defended themselves and-
" Yes, I'll be okay. Thank you, m'Lord. "
@dxsole | cont.
Patience is not her virtue- not when it comes to Hugo, anyways. ESPECIALLY when he's between her thighs, nipping at the sensitive flesh. It sends a gentle jerk throughout her body, and she's sighing immediately. He presses his lips fully to her core and that's when she's stopped caring.
Holly knows he can't hear her, she knows he likes to watch, but the moment she feels any sort of pleasure, she's laid down completely, back arching into the mattress. Fingers lace through his blonde hair and hips roll upwards into his mouth softly.
Holly can't help it when he makes her feel this good already, whines and moans spilling from her lips, and thighs trembling around his head, even if she tries to keep them spread apart for him. It's difficult when he's good at what he does.
Toes curl, eyes squeeze shut and she's rolling hips up into his touch once again. His name leaves her lips- even if he can't hear it, she still does it just for him.
Bill is flicked onto the counter when he makes no move to snatch it up. Holly moves for the bag she's left on the opposite side of the counter. She digs out the pack of cigarettes, pulling one out and shoving it in his direction, the other hand now digging around for the lighter.
It's all she has to offer, at least for now. The usual shit doesn't work on him- she can't base her self worth on the use of her body or how good of a house wife she is when he isn't like that. Doesn't fucking CARE. This friendship has been harder on her self esteem, and the drugs aren't helping. If Nick had half a brain he'd separate the two. But he doesn't.
" Man, I dunno, I'm just askin'. Take it. " She emphasizes her point again by making the same motion, shaking it in his direction. and as soon as the lighter is fished out, she offers that too.
Sucking the white tips of his fingers, tongue tucks itself in, and goes to sleep, while the rest of him comes alive to dance in the night. If we're being honest, if we're being real, it only lasts twenty minutes, a peak and a valley until the next hit, but if you really ply yourself, if you really do a lot, you can be flying high for days. It was in those days Jimmy did his best work. It was in those days we find ourselves now. A hard-earned break from calculated violence, to bask in the light of white fury, powdered good-times, to mar everything you see with infernal voice, forever and ever, for twenty minutes. They say time is relative, the nerds, but is it still relative when it's on fire?
"Course I want a smoke," he says after a while of letting the low beat wash over him, the noisy music he had on the speaker with over-kill bass, even on low all you could hear was thump, thump thumpthump, "kind'a question's that?"
@s-unfleur asked: being admired and being loved aren't the same thing. / holly + leto from here
Eyes flicker white, expression turning into that of a quizzical look. Translucent pupils fixate on the vase sitting out of place on the small table pressed up against the wall. Truly it did not belong there, but that's not why she had singled it out. Eye contact had been too painful the moment she realized that what her father felt for her had not been love. It had been exactly that, admiration of an object to be shown off. She can't imagine why.
Eyes return to normal as she finds her gaze falling upon the Duke. Head tilts to the side a moment, hands clasped in front of her waist. No, they're not here to talk about the mentat girl.
" I suppose you're right, my Lord. Do you find that happening often, with the people surrounding you ?? "
@s-unfleur asked: “You are no one’s property!” / holly + leto from here
Chest rises, expression softens. Her eyes turn in such a way that it's as if she's about to cry. Sure, her training required her to get rid of those emotions, to be able to give advice and guidance without prejudice and the thought of preconceived notions... but she failed it. That is the reason she failed to become what she had so desperately studied and trained for, for the first fifteen years of her life. And even though she had failed, a part of her still tries to push down those emotions, even if there was no need to anymore. A part of her clings so desperately to it.
The Harkonnens sure did a good job of making her feel as much. Like she wasn't a person at all- Glossu Rabban ESPECIALLY made her feel like nothing more than an object. He was an angry, small man and it showed in the way he treated people.
An exhale, through her nose. Holly stutters over the words leaving red and black stained lips. The very thought of finally being able to think and do for herself was not registering in her own brain. She cannot even fathom freedom at the moment.
" S-so, you won't be wanting to see me then ?? "
@s-unfleur asked: "I always want to look at you." / holly + leto from here
Fingers deftly find the thin fabric, pulling the iridescent gown over her head. Blonde hair tousled in the act, or was it his fingers wrapped around tendrils only minutes before ?? Smile tugs at lips, finding herself before the vanity so delicately decorated. Hand reaches for the brush that sat neatly in its place.
" That has gotten you into trouble on more than one occasion, I'm sure, my Lord. "
@s-unfleur asked: “You are so lovely.” / holly + leto from here
She never had this. Only the cruel hand of a worse master, and surely hearing damage came of it as well. It's a stark difference, night and day, even though he's told her to be free, be her own person, she still clung to the man as if she had no other option. Being his made her freedom taste sweeter.
" You're just sayin' that. "
Of course he's saying it. And she knows that he means it. The words sound so good on his tongue, his voice decorating every nuance and syllable of the compliment. She doesn't believe him, not really, but it'd be nice to hear again, and again, and again, even if it was a lie, because she never had this.
@profecier asked: we never talk about that night. + holly from here
The blue in her eyes disappear. Calculating, thinking, searching the databanks of her mind for any memory she had left of that night. It's not like she had forgotten them, though, she had wanted to. Every second of every moment of those hours were ingrained into memory. It was a blessing and a curse to have formal training of the mentat kind. In this case it proved a curse.
Though her eyes return to normal, she still does not look at Paul. Bad manners in the presence of a Duke ?? Perhaps. Though quite honestly at the moment she could not care any less. Its unlike her.
" Perhaps, my Lord- " She says, hands idly shoving objects into the Fremen made pack that Stilgar had offered her. No, she wasn't leaving... Holly had just needed a distraction from the things she had wished to forget. " There is a reason for that. "
@s-unfleur asked: "What I love, I want to control it." / holly + not-batista from here
Fear is the first emotion she feels. Likely it will be the only emotion she feels for now- it has been since he's taken control of the spice production on Arrakis. He has proven to be a very ruthless man, and from the moment he saw her, it seems as if he has made it his personal mission to make her life hell.
She swallows down the lump in her throat, heart beating so fast it felt like she might have a fucking heart attack. Those words wouldn't be the first lie he's told her, and surely not the last either. Were Holly not so frightened, maybe she'd laugh at them.
" But you don't love me, my Lord. "
@s-unfleur asked: “It’s a wonder you’re still alive.” / holly + stilgar from here
Throat dry, and she still manages to swallow. The living conditions were worse here than in the mansion. There she had never wanted for water. There she had no reason to fear the 'savage Fremen' that lived in the desert. There she was 'safe'. And yet, she'd rather be here in sietch Tabr, half dead. At least here she had a fighting chance. In all honesty, Holly is surprised her body wasn't fed to Feyd-Rautha's pets or killed by the hands of Vladimir himself. It really is a wonder she is still alive.
There's a wheeze, wincing at the inhale her body had forced. Her back had been turned towards the Naib, thumb idly grazing over the water ring he had so graciously given over to her just a few days prior. Maybe as a distraction, maybe as a gift, she surely didn't know.
Blue eyes find him over her shoulder, skin still purple and brown from where Glossu had decided to leave his mark. Another wheeze, another wince. The cool rock beneath her felt great on her feet, though. Maybe she should press her skin to it.
" I'm just as surprised as you are. Statistically speaking, I should be dead. "
Sighs leave lips with every press of his to pale skin. With every nip and suckle he makes on her delicate flesh. Were their presence not needed momentarily, she'd have him strip her once more right where she stood. Fingers gave up the brush long ago, now digging into his forearm gently, hanging on to the moment. The good thing about an eidetic memory is that she won't forget about it. Mentat training is a blessing and a curse.
Lips leave her neck, hands leave her waist and she's lulling her head back against his shoulder before he raises the brush to blonde hair. It's relaxing- never has she had her hair brushed by someone else before. Never had she been treated like a human before. Eyes close, an obvious sign of feeling safe enough to not be on edge around the man.
" I hadn't. I don't know what you're talking about. " The tone of her voice implies a joke- she isn't usually good at those.
his arms are wrapped around her in an instant, body pressed to her back as lips press against her temple. brown eyes meet blue in the mirror as he takes the brush from her small hand. arm lingers around her: protective, territorial, & loving all tied into one neat package. they have no other worries in the world so long as they're hidden away in holly's private chambers, & perhaps that's why the duke is as bold as he is. with no need to hide from prying eyes, no need to maintain secrets from the woman he still shares a bed with.
lips work their way down her exposed neck, teeth suckling a bruise onto the pale skin he finds: only for them to know about, & it'll drive him crazy until it fades. then finally his arms release her, as much as he doesn't want to. he runs the brush through blonde hair as if he's done this a hundred times before. soft & gentle, never pulling too hard when the brush snags on tangles. ❛ hm, i thought you hadn't heard anything. ❜ glances at her once more in the reflection, but the twitch of a smile on his lips is unmistakable.
@s-unfleur asked: we don't know each other well, but i'm here for you. / holly + stilgar from here
Those words feel like a punch to the gut. Why ?? He's offering his presence, his words of wisdom as sietch Tabr Naib, and maybe even as a friend... maybe it's because Holly felt like she knew the whole of him within those two seconds that she first laid eyes on him a few months ago. She doesn't have prescience, but Holly hadn't completely ruled out the possibility of them becoming lovers. It's still on the table even now... though then she felt as if they already were.
Holly hadn't ever felt like that. She only paid attention to it because it was a new feeling, a curious one. Her eyes had filled white upon laying them on him- and on his way out he had stopped for a moment to have a look himself. Maybe that's why it hurt... did he not feel it too ?? Was this one sided ??
" Thank you. Your presence is most appreciated as I heal and mend- " His presence is most appreciated regardless of what she had been doing. She only hopes to be able to call him a friend and something more in the future.
@s-unfleur asked: “If you die can I have your share?” / holly + jamis from here
Brows furrow, white replaces blue in her eyes a moment. She takes in his words, analyzing them as she would any other mans. Her body jerks with a short laugh, brows still knitted. Now there's a nod of her head- TRULY though, were she to die, who would it go to ?? Paul and Jessica, she assumes. The only people she knew well enough here.
" Uh, no. "
@s-unfleur asked: “Don’t be afraid.” / holly + stilgar from here
Holly is afraid. Sure, this is his way of life, he's used to it. Grew up in the sand, learning to walk with the proper rhythm, or lack there of, so he doesn't attract Shai Hulud. Wearing a stillsuit his entire life, learning to fight to become a better Fremen... Holly had none of those things. She sat in air conditioned rooms and never wanted for water or food or shelter. Never did she have to look over her shoulder wondering if she'd be dead next. Compared to him, she was spoiled rotten, and never had to fear once.
" Stilgar- " She says, rather loudly, though she closes the gap between them, looking up at the Naib. Hands come up as if to defend herself. Eyes, once blue, turn white.
" I am afraid, because there's giant worms out there in the sea of sand that I am unfamiliar with. " Blue eyes return once more, but she does not skip a single beat. " I'd like to not make a new home in the belly of that beast. I've never seen a creature so large, not with my own two eyes. So forgive me if I'm a little scared. "
@s-unfleur asked: you would always be welcome with me. / holly + stilgar from here
He doesn't understand it. Holly doesn't fault him for that. All his life he had his people. Holly had once thought she had found hers, only to later be disowned by them. She didn't have a heritage to call her own, and even if she did, she didn't grow up in it. How could she call that hers, truly ?? She couldn't relate to the Mentats, she couldn't relate to the Harkonnens, she couldn't relate to the Atreides or the Fremen, or even her own fucking father. But at least the Naib welcomes her with open arms.
A smile presses to lips- though sad internally, she tries her best to push that look down, as far down as she possibly could. Holly hated her emotions, when she has nothing else to offer -other than her body-, being overly emotional is not a good look.
" Thank you, Stilgar. Though I don't think your people carry the same sentiment as you. "
The small gesture has her heart pounding in her ears, hair standing on end. Holly winces under the stretch of fragile, purpled skin, though she doesn't object to anything he does or say. If she's wrong about the possibility her mentat mind had created, at least she'd have the touch to remind herself of what could have been.
Tongue juts out to wet at her lips, taking them in between teeth for a moment. She shakes her head. Holly, of course realizes that he is out of his element. She doesn't blame him, she is too. She appreciates the effort in kindness he puts forth as an act just for her.
" No, none at all. " Not technically the truth. Of course there's been the ones who whisper among themselves, pick up their food and move when she sits next to them... the stares... nothing different from Paul and Jessica's case, though at least they had each other. And the southerners were on their side. She had no one, except Stilgar. The man who gave her his own water just so she'd make it to the sietch. The man who gave her a water ring in case she thirst while he was not there. Though she hardly ever leaves his bed chambers anymore. It's safer in there than it was in the common areas.
Holly owes this man her life, it seems. She'll pay him back when she feels slightly better within the coming days, the only way she knows how. The only way that has kept her alive all those years.
" I've settled in quite nicely. " Small smile tugs at lips once more.
he doesn't know why he fought so hard to save this foreign woman that he'd only briefly met many moons ago. perhaps it's that those two seconds of eye contact way back then was all it took for her to worm her way into his heart, much akin to the way shai hulud tunnels through the sand. he'd given her his water, his water rings, went to bat for her when every other person in the sietch wanted her dead: he may not know her well, but he was the closest thing she had to a friend. it was a strange term to him, & didn't sound good on his tongue. maybe he itches for more, but doesn't desire to hurt her when she's still recovering from her ordeal. self-control was rare, but he exercises it.
finger tucks itself beneath her chin so he can examine how the bruises littering her delicate skin are healing. the touch is so small, yet it has him wanting more. he goes against his culture & doesn't pursue the feeling. hand drops back to his side & nods. a tiny gesture, blue eyes glued to hers [ he looks at her like a lion stalking a gazelle ] ⸻ ❛ you are healing well. ❜ it's like a relief, but it doesn't show in stiff posture. everything about the situation is far, far out of his depth. he never had been a gentle, caring man. ❛ i trust that none of my people have been giving you any trouble? ❜
Smile falls as soon as he catches her in the lie. Eyes look away, full of SHAME for a moment. It's not like her to lie, not on a larger scale, at least. Not really in her mentat nature... though a small one like this, she had thought, would have flown under the radar. Clearly not.
Holly hesitates for a moment, and it's very obvious in the way she reaches for his hand, only to pull back, but... the second time she reaches she follows through with the motion. Palm pressed to palm, other hand clasps on top of his, and finally eyes land on his once more.
" Thank you. " She says, low, under her breath. As if the words she spoke was for Stilgar, and him alone. They were, she wasn't thanking the whole of his people, no, she was thanking the ONE person who had saved her.
" I will do better to have my presence else where in seitch Tabr. "
he isn't blind to the way she's taken to hiding away in his chambers rather than treating the sietch as her home. & perhaps he should bring it up with her, remind her that he has opened his home to her for her treat it as her own. he doesn't allow himself to think about the days he wakes up with her small frame curled into him, or the way it always resulted in him venting the frustrations with another woman. he wants nothing more than to mark her as his own, keep her in bed all fucking day, but instead he only offers a very small smile of his own.
it's a lie, but he finds that he does not mind it. he'd listen to her lies over & over again if it meant hearing her voice. he can't wait for the next morning, when he can hold her sleeping body while she's none the wiser ⸻ when he can pretend, just for a moment, that she is his to keep & do with as he pleases. he longs for the day that he no longer needs to deny himself what he wants. she has a long recovery ahead of her & he will not push it before she's ready.
❛ is that why you hide all day? ❜ a genuine question, complete with raised brows. eyes linger on her lips too long, wanting nothing more than to take the moisture on them for himself: inherently selfish, yet always giving more & more for this girl he barely knows. he should stop staring at her like he wants to rip her apart. ❛ my home . . . it is yours now. ❜ very matter of fact, though he cannot begin to understand how out of place she must feel.
@s-unfleur asked: “Why are you so fascinated by him?” / holly + jessica abt leto c: from here
Holly stares. She's stuck now, wanting so desperately to run and hide and the feeling of bile swells up and into her throat- it burns. She'd take this feeling ten times over if that meant she was able to successfully evade this question. Holly knows there's no lying to a Bene Gesserit woman. There's no point.
" My Lord and Lady have treated me with such a kindness I have not had before. " It wasn't a lie, she was telling the truth. Just selectively. " Forgive me if I've forgotten my manners, I've not had this much freedom to think and act of my own volition. "