Even If He Didn't Intend For It To Be This Way, She Felt Like His Eyes Bore Into The Back Of Her. To

                Even    if    he    didn't    intend    for    it    to    be    this    way,    she    felt    like    his    eyes    bore    into    the    back    of    her.    To    be    fair,    she    wouldn't    want    to    look    away    either,    were    the    roles    reversed.    There's    so    may    new    things    to    look    at,    he'll    have    to    learn    her    body    all    over    again    one    day,    when    she's    comfortable    enough.

                His    eyes    don't    bring    an    uneasiness.    In    fact,    she's    quite    used    to    it    now.    That    man    had    hardly    left    her    alone,    and    when    he    did,    it    was    in    the    dark    for    hours,    sometimes    even    days    on    end.    And    when    he    was    there,    he'd    stare    at    her.    Do    nothing    most    of    the    time    but    sit    and    stare    at    her.    It    brought    a    weird    comfort    to    Holly,    knowing    Hugo    was    watching.    It    was    her    new    norm,    and    he    had    brought    that    back    to    her.

                Hands    make    quick    work    of    changing,    pulling    her    shirt    over    her    torso,    pulling    her    pants    up    and    buttoning    them.    Boring,    mundane    things,    but    it    felt    nice    to    wear    normal    clothes    again.    Especially    something    that    belonged    to    her,    though,    she    supposed    that    those    loaners    were    hers    now    too.

                His    question    is    heard,    though    he    stands,    still    facing    the    bed.    She's    quiet,    hands    gripping    at    biceps    as    she    folds    her    arms    over    her    chest.    Teeth    chew    on    the    inside    of    her    cheek,    and    she    swears    she    chewed    so    hard    there    was    a    hole    in    her    skin    now...    though    she    tastes    no    blood.    There    isn't    even    any    feel    of    it.    Holly    shakes    her    head    no.

                "    I    can't    feel    anythin'.    "    And    she    forgets    for    a    moment    that    he    cannot    hear    what    she    says.    Holly    turns,    head    tilting    as    she    gets    a    good    look    at    him.    There's    another    shake    of    her    head    no.    

                "    No,    Hugo.    "    His    name    still    feels    foreign    on    her    tongue.    She    hadn't    said    his    name    in    months,    close    to    a    year.

Hugo has learned that why is a dangerous question to ask. Before her, he used to ask it all the time; why him? Why couldn't he have a normal life? A mundane, boring one— he would rather live with the monotony than the memories he harbored.

And then she entered his life, changing it completely. And he only ever asked why had someone so lovely fallen for him? Many times he felt he didn't deserve it while another part of him asked again; why not? Why could he not be happy now?

He doesn't want to ask again. It felt like tempting fate to start questioning things. They were allowed one beautiful romance and had been reunited despite hopeless circumstances. Even now, she may not look exactly as he remembered her, as she looked in the pictures of her in his study, but her touch feels the same. Colder, maybe, but he knows how Holly felt in his hands.

He can feel another sting in his eyes but he keeps his gaze firm. She didn't need to see him this way. She's been through enough without the added sorrow.

Even if her retracting from him stings more than the tears. For a brief moment of silent panic he wonders if she doesn't want o be near him. If whatever she's been through has made her afraid— afraid of others, maybe, he could understand that. But not him. Please not him.

Hugo only nods at her request, following behind at a safe distance, thinking it would be best to continue to give her space until...until what exactly? She got settled? He didn't know what that might look like now. Whatever this new life of hers was, he still wished to be a part of it.

Clothes are gathered. Borrowed clothes removed as Hugo stands in the doorway, head bowed to give her partial privacy— not fully, as he still worries if he looks away completely he may lose her— but even with his head down he could see them. The white lines across legs. The small healed nicks along bare feet.

Defensive wounds, like she had curled herself up to escape blows. Feet scars from running barefoot through harsh underbrush.

"Are you..." He exhales softly to steady his voice. "Are you in any pain?"

                Holly    will    come    to    regret    her    own    actions    in    the    following    hours.    The    bruise    left    on    her    wrist    serving    her    as    a    constant    reminder    that    even    men    you    trust    will    hurt    you.    Though,    those    thoughts    will    only    come    when    she's    sober,    only    to    be    fucked    up    again    the    second    she's    able    to,    to    get    rid    of    the    thoughts.    But    for    now    ??    For    now,    she's    here    with    her    wrist    caught    in    his    grasp.

                It    was    an    immediate    reaction,    one    she    wishes    she    hadn't    acted    out    on    even    now.    Was    she    so    comfortable    with    the    man    that    there    wasn't    even    a    second    thought    behind    her    action    ??    Most    likely,    but    his    yelling    and    the    tight    grip    still    forces    tears    to    well    up    in    her    eyes    as    she    stares    at    him.    She    looks    shocked,    whether    or    not    it    was    due    to    her    action    or    his,    she    can't    tell.    Right    now,    she's    twelve    again,    and    her    grandmother    takes    the    place    of    Mikey.

                Eyes    blink    rapidly,    trying    to    make    her    grandmother    go    away    (    you    know    it's    bad    when    she    finds    comfort    in    the    man    who    just    yelled    and    grabbed    her    wrist    tightly    over    her    grandmother    ).    Holly    folds    in    on    herself    almost,    wrist    tugging    at    his    grip.

                "    Let    GO.    "

@thehollyverse (holly) said: [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face

there was a cacophony of drugs in his system, & maybe that's why he walked through the door ready to burn everything to the ground. if he'd been sober, they would've talked it out like adults. but neither were, & somewhere in the back of his head he wonders if it's his fault that she's been dragged down into this: day in, day out, sniffing white powder to numb everything . . . she would've been better off without him.

but that doesn't stop the anger when richie had mentioned sleeping with her in passing. conversation had stopped in its tracks then & there, his best friend's wide eyed gaze enough to make clear why mikey was so angry. barreling through the door like a man scorned, immediately in holly's face. never lays a hand on her, but oh was he close — no care that he had no room to talk, not when a mere few days ago he'd come home covered in marks put there by another woman [ whose name mikey can't even remember now ].

' you that much of a whore that you need to sleep with my best friend? ' practically screamed at her, no care for the way she flinches from him. when he's sober, he'll feel bad. the slap comes as a surprise: a sudden, stinging pain across his cheek & it takes his mind a moment to catch up & realize what she'd done. it's not enough to sober him up though, the coke & pills doing their part to only fuel the anger. hand grabs her wrist hard, too hard, she'll be left with a bruise that will make michael regret everything he's ever fucking done — ❛ the fuck do you think you're doing, huh? ❜

* MEME, always accepting.

@s-unfleur asked: “You’re welcome, by the way.” / richie + seth

                "    I    HAD    it,    Seth.    "    Richard,    in    fact,    did    not    have    it.    Clearly    he    was    struggling    with    the    man,    although    quite    larger    than    even    he    was.    The    chair    over    that    mans    fucking    dome    was    well    welcomed,    though    Richard    could    never    give    his    brother    a    thank    you.    Not    when    his    ego    was    hurting    like    this.

                "    I    coulda    killed    him.    "

@vi0lnt asked: " YOU'RE LIVING ON BORROWED TIME ALREADY. " viktor romanov + yelena belova,

                Funny    how    she    thinks    he    cares.    The    man    truly    does    not.    The    only    thing    he    has    ever    given    a    shit    about    TRULY    was    his    mother    and    his    money.    Maybe    the    rest    of    his    family,    but    those    two    came    before    them.    Whether    or    not    he    is    dead,    it    doesn't    really    matter.    Well,    considering    he's    come    close    many    times    and    he's    not    sure    he    actually    can    die,    he    seems    to    live    life    to    the    fullest    these    days.    Doesn't    care    too    much    what    anyone    has    to    think    about    him    any    how.

                "    Yeah    ??    Don't    care,    really.    Find    someone    who    does,    ya    ??    "

@vi0lnt asked: " I HAD SOME THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF. " nicolette walsh + sonny corleone,

                "    Oh,    aye.    "    She    starts.    Arm    folds    over    her    chest,    a    hand    holding    a    cigarette    between    digits    as    she    stares    at    her    nails    on    that    hand.    Nick    pretends    not    to    be    bothered    by    it,    though    it's    clear    as    FUCKING    day.    She    claims    she    isn't    one    to    anger    easily,    but    being    left    out    is    a    sure    way    to    get    her    there    quick.    A    serious    case    of    FOMO,    unfortunately.

                "    And    ya    decided    t'leave    me    outta    it,    dinnit    you    ??    "