I Wish We Could Take Credit For This, Alas, We Cannot. On The Other Hand, I Might Send Them My Resume.

I wish we could take credit for this, alas, we cannot. On the other hand, I might send them my resume. I might not be a Rabbi versed in Dark Talmudic Arts, and my Aramaic might be a tad rusty, but I could probably figure it out. Plus, I'm comfortable working with clay: that's sort of necessary, no? It wouldn't do to have a golem if its terribly disfigured. Lastly I know how to ward off Gollum: throw potatoes at him! He wouldn't know what to do!

Best of Craigslist: Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.

WANTED:  One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.  We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!  Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for “precious”. This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only. 

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Amazing science art by Florida artist Megan Lee. Purchase prints here

The story of Sleipnir's first cousin

A man they call Buckaroo Billy

Found wild mares perked up his willy.

But Ma wished he'd date

A respectable mate,

So he settled down with a nice filly.

Yeast Infection

I once met a voracious strumpet 

Who'd shtupped pies, eclairs and a crumpet.

Hell, she'd even go

For some old pastry dough;

She'd surely find some way to hump it.

I've heard/seen some Telsa-coil-music, but so far I've seen nothing as impressive as this display. Rather than using a buzzing noise to punctuate the music, this musician/inventors Eric Goodchild and Steven Caton actually play the coils by "by modulating the number of sparks that emit from the coil each second," therefore "different tones can be produced by the coils."

The House of the Rising Sun" is an American folk song, though this particular rendition closely resembles the classic Animals cover.

Elegy to a few lost lines

My computer broke at work last week And ne'er before was poet rent: Despairing such prodigious loss Of verse that spanned a continent... ...or more. So many pages passed, So many trisyllabic turns of verse Were any even built to last? That I'll never know is worse...