Rabbi - Tumblr Posts

I wish we could take credit for this, alas, we cannot. On the other hand, I might send them my resume. I might not be a Rabbi versed in Dark Talmudic Arts, and my Aramaic might be a tad rusty, but I could probably figure it out. Plus, I'm comfortable working with clay: that's sort of necessary, no? It wouldn't do to have a golem if its terribly disfigured. Lastly I know how to ward off Gollum: throw potatoes at him! He wouldn't know what to do!

Best of Craigslist: Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM.

WANTED:  One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.  We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!  Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for “precious”. This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only. 

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More Jewish sculpey projects.

Can't make a golem without a rabbi. Additionally, some pickles and gefilte fish for shabbos and a dreidel out of clay (unfortunately not good for spinning, favors gimel quite a bit)

The White Mask