I Wish We Were Closer As A System,

I wish we were closer as a system,

Or I wish I was closer to my headmates.

I feel like all my headmates have relationships and friendships with one another, they hang out all the time, but I'm left out. We have P-DID and I'm the dominant alter, I can't leave this front, and so I've never been to headspace and its frustrating.

I wish I could just go join them, I don't want to stay out here alone until someone decides to join me, I want to join them. I find it unfair that they have the choice to leave while I struggle with all this, I hate it so much.

I love my headmates (platonically) but at the same time I feel jealous, jealous of how close they all are with eachother, of how much they might get to see eachother, of the fact that they often remember eachother easier when I struggle to remember all their names.

I feel guilty, I don't know why, I'm just guilty. Maybe it's because I can hardly remember their names, maybe I feel guilty because I feel like I'm being selfish.. I don't know

It just hurts. I want a closer relationship with them, yet the only headmates I've had a close relationship with are chara and Aries / kaz. Hell, I hardly talk with my own subsystem, I want to, but I hardly ever feel them, I can't even go into that headspace, if that one even exists

-zim / wally

Mind empty, I wish for fluffy blankets and sleep but also cuddles

Where the fuck is my partner? :(

-zim / wally

Personally we believe in system accountability, to a certain degree. For example; if an alter does something that harms another person, then the whole system should take accountability. But if am alter does something that isn't harmful to any other people but is a bit irritating or something, I don't think that necessarily requires system accountability. Idk if that makes sense, I'm very bad at wording my opinions, but I just wanted to bring it up because I'm bored

-cielo

TW basically just general system guilt and such

Can we please stop normalizing taking responsibility for other alters actions? Admittedly there are some alters in a system who enjoy taking on responsibility and it’s literally their job.

But that still doesn’t mean they have full control over any other alter in the system. At the end of the day an alters actions are theirs and theirs only.

I usually apologize on behalf of alters but I’m genuinely just tired of it. Especially when singlets expect that’s it’s some sort of moral duty to take care of other alters or clean up their messes.

I don’t want to. I already have to live with the consequences of someone else’s actions. Actions in which I had no say in or control over. I’m just tired of feeling guilty for something I didn’t even do.

Again all alters are individuals, all alters make different choices good or bad. I’m not gonna apologize for someone else’s mistakes. Sorry if that’s controversial lmfao

Honestly, on the topic of slurs I think we have mixed opinions, we don't mind if someone uses slurs to describe themselves or their friends playfully, but when it comes to describing complete strangers (even if playfully) we feel a bit uncomfortable with it. Like personally we'd rather not be called a slur, because we just don't like it, but we understand others don't really mind, so we like to keep a sort of "ask first" type opinion on it, you know?

-zim

LISTEN TO THIS !!!

LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

Aaaa we're like really bad at art and drawing bodies but we really wanna do art but at the same time we occasionally do a good artwork but then we hate it later and 😭😭😭😭 this is just me ranting BC I have nothing else to do rn

-zim