Asajj Ventress: Why Do You Want Information On M-counts?

Asajj Ventress: Why do you want information on m-counts?

Omega: *I'm going to be sneaky and trick her into telling us.* It's for a friend! The Empire's after her and she thinks that's why.

Asajj Ventress: Oh really? What's this "friend" of yours like.

Omega: Oh you know... A kid, blonde hair, brown eyes, an amateur pilot, wanders off a lot, has a pet lurca hound, loves mantell mix, uses a bow, has a hard time staying out of trouble...

Asajj Ventress: Right. Well a high M-count means you're Force sensitive-

Omega: I'M A JEDI! :D

Asajj Ventress: *Sighs*

everyone is always like "Elle Woods is just like Ace Attorney" but no one ever says "Elle Woods IS an Ace Attorney"

Obi-Wan, still bald after the Rako Hardeen incident: I’m sorry for keeping you both in the dark-

Ahsoka: you should be!

Obi-Wan: -but it was necessary to maintain complete secrecy for this mission!

Anakin: what the hell is that supposed to mean!

Obi-Wan: dear one, you can’t keep a secret to save your life

Anakin: what do you mean, I’ve kept my marriage with Padme a secret for over two years now!

Obi-Wan:

Ahsoka:

Rex:

Cody:

Depa and Mace, absolutely not eavesdropping:

Ahsoka: actually, I’m not mad anymore, Master Obi-Wan’s got a point

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

edgeworth: "i suddenly can't remember..........."

this is for the last line challenge! rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).

i was tagged by @phoenixmetaphor (thanks bestie <3) aaand will tag (though there is no pressure and please feel free to ignore if you want lolol) @makaira-art, @aawrightworth, and @doctorsiren, who unfortunately has to suffer my tagging anyway because this is her prosecutor wright AU! he's been on my dash lately and has a fun design and also my trash brain was like "wait this is an excuse to draw a moody phoenix in a waistcoat, HELL YEAH". apparently i am imagining him having a dumb fancy chair in his office so he can pose dramatically in it when people come to see him