-Summary-

-Summary-

Everything Clay does is out of love.

It's lowkey tiring putting up an "I don't care" front. I want to find someone not because I'm desperate for love myself but because I want to love someone else.

I want to go on cute dates, have in-depth conversations, and share memories with each other. To be with someone on an emotional level!

Have someone that I can be 100 percent real with. Not have to act like I above being in a relationship. In truth, I think that's part of the reason I'm still single now.

I have such big emotions and expectations that I don't want to settle for anything less. Maybe it's the countless romace books I read, but I don’t want to be with somebody just as a convenience. Loving someone else is kinda a crazy concept in the grand scheme of things.

Not to hate, but I feel societally "true romance" is dying. With the increase of alpha males or others putting down people for being "simps". Or the expectations of hookup culture. It sometimes feels like the odds are against me and my hopeless romantic heart.

All in all, I want to love someone who wholeheartedly loves me, too. Until then, I'll be ok even if I spend my whole life waiting.

I've just got to get something off my chest. I'd like to think I'm a girl's girl, but I just can’t contain my frustration anymore.

I, like many other black women, get my hair braided. But I think that there's an odd trend being normalized. That being unprofessional braiders. At this point, I'm just ready to cut my hair and call it a day.

If I have an appointment scheduled, I'm not the type to go off for them being late. Especially since I understand that they’ve got lives of their own and that not everything can go according to plan. However, it's become a routine problem...

If it's not them being late, it's them talking as loud as can be on the phone. Which yet again, I understand there might be an emergency, and you'd need to be on the phone. But just talking loud for the sake of it is not it.

Then you have the ones that are always wanting something. Do you have a rat tail comb, can I have some of your food, I ran out of gel. At this point, what do they have with them? Maybe every once in a while, asking me for something is fine, but nearly every time is far too often.

Or this "controversial" narrative that I need to come with my hair fully prepared. The whole reason they're over here is to do my hair. I've washed it and I'm ready to go. If I had time to detange and square off each section, I wouldn't need a braider.

Sigh... I'll get over it.

As far as what I believe, I like the fact they didn't choose the easy path of making him atheist. Even though I'm not religious, at the end of the day, I don’t think moral Orel is a show about bashing religion but rather the unhealthy dynamics that so offen go unnoticed.

Faith can be a great thing and help people out of dark situations, but on the other hand, it can be the very thing that leads people to them. Being able to separate these negative connotations of his family vs. Christianity as a whole takes a lot. Religion is so intertwined in Orels relationships. In a way, I suppose that keeping his faith would be the harder of the two options. He can't just blame people's bad actions based on their warped reality.

But then again, the probability of this actually happening, I think, is quite low. After everything Orel has been through, we see him grow less and less naive. I'm not going to say it was the sole cause, but just about every character blames their faults on something else as a guise to seem like a better person. The only one I think that truly owns up to it is Danielle, and he's got his own troubles with religion himself.

Orel starts as such a positive happy go lucky kid, but with the harshness of reality, he's not the same by the end. I don't see how he could get to such a state and not at least question himself a bit.

All in all, I don't know which I would have preferred, but I just have to be content seeing as the show has long since ended.

Maybe I'm just getting older or more introverted, but I truly have no desire to go out of my way to make friends. I either have them, or I don't, and either is fine by me.

Here's a drawing I made of Clay but upon closer expectation, I don't think it's giving "Clay" lol. On another note, I love the headcannon that he has curly hair but he just slicks it back.

Anyway, here's a fic about Clay and Danielle.

Here's another one of a sketch of Clay and Danielle. I just think it looks weird. Maybe it's the positioning of their heads and the connection between the arms to hands.