Unlikelyherogirl - Let The Water In My Lungs

Just can't keep up...

All these years later and It still feels as though I'm running on a treadmill, everyone else below running on the earth. I can't keep up, going know where, working ten times harder. Stuck, watching everyone pass me by.

- Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

I hate how lost I feel...always invisible.

I can't tell left from right or up from down today...just drowning.

I wish I didn't feel this way. I have things I should be doing, I know it. Family is coming down this weekend and I'm not happy about it. I'm dreading the weekend. Dreading it.

Sitting here listening to sad music lol...I've never done that before.

Just feeling like I fail at everything and nothing will change...I hate it. I used to always believe everything will workout and I know as soon as this feeling passes, I'll probably believe it again. I just wish I could stop believing and I'd be living it. Talking about where I used to be, how things once were.

- Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

Life 1): Lost sight of so many things today...

There's no instruction manual that comes with life on what to do in each scenario.

Tonight I'm wishing there was. If anyone asks me why I search in books for great characters...it's because on days like these I wish I knew them. So then my life wouldn't feel so empty. I'd have someone to look to, ask...to just bounce my thoughts off of. Now I know how it important that is and whenever my friends need that I'm there. But that's just it, they call when they need some things. Which is rare. They're occupied by their boyfriends, other friends, their lives.

I can remember having so many friends. Few were great, but I knew a lot of faces. And now. It's all gone and I wish I could say I was the problem, that I'm antisocial or prefer to be alone (although lately loneliness I find comforting but only because it's what I know). But as time passed, everyone just left. It's weird as I remember people telling me about this happening to them, and I thought a lot of things but never the fact that people just forget you. They don't place the same value on you. I'm invisible. Making new friends right...if only. Maybe if there were people thrown in the vicinity of me like in highschool.

Just thinking of all the things that just disappear, slide through my fingers...turn to dust in the air....

- Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

I'm always invisible.

 Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)

I"m just loving how it seems everyone around met gets it immediately and I have to work 10x harder to get anything.

- Sequoia Red (via Sequoia Red)