PHONING... Carnival.

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ soobin's song ] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief, though the beating in your chest was still as fast as ever.

“Um… Soobin!” You said a bit loudly, almost like a cheer.

“I win!” Soobin said causing Yeonjun to roll his eyes with an annoyed huff, watching as he made his way toward you.

The ride attendant quickly got the both of you situated and gave a thumbs up before moving onto the next passengers.

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent.

As the ferris wheel raised, Soobin sat comfortably, seemingly without a care in the world and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

His calm demeanor was a contrast to everything around you, the excitement of the lights below taking up your attention.

Even though he was introverted, he did so well at huge events like these. You’d almost be jealous if you didn’t admire him so much for it.

Soobin’s eyes were focused on you, your eyes sparkling with the reflection of the colorful carnival.

“What can you see?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” You turned to him, only to find him staring at you with a look that almost seemed like he was lovestruck.

Rather than answering his own question, he looked down and began retracing your footsteps throughout the night over the landscape, as if he was following a map.

In truth, all he could see was remnants of you.

In the gentle sway of the carriage, he nudged you, pointing down toward the carousel the group had previously been on.

From high up, it looked so small yet you could still hear the gentle chimes if you focused hard enough.

And if you closed your eyes, you could still see all the small details on that horse.

“I’m really glad I came with you guys,” you started swept up in the moment.

The lights down below began blur with a magical glow over the shared space.

“I’m glad that you’re here, especially.”

Soobin’s eyes widened a bit behind his glasses as he fixed them with a smile. “Yeah?”

Maybe it was the enchantment of the lights down below or the stars above, but your mind had been yelling at you to come clean to him in the moment.

The scariest part of the moment wasn’t him but how unwaveringly certain you had been in choosing him.

“I like you.” You mumbled, words carried on the breeze between you.

In the moment of vulnerable honesty, he responded with a hum.

“Well, I love you.” His voice was nothing but kind and certain. Your eyes widened, quickly turning to face him in surprise at the sudden confidence.

Soobin laughed, his admission breaking the serene silence as you were carried higher, above the world below, over the rainbow lights.

“You had to one up me?” You asked, nervous if he was joking.

Soobin gave you an almost judgemental look, sensing your apprehension in believing him.

“I'm not asking for a grand declaration of love back. If you just like me a little, that’s fine.”

Embarrassed, you looked away. He smiled, putting his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer.

“I'm not asking for promises or tenure, I just want you to know that you’re the hand I reach for at my breaking point.”

In the way he wanted to become your home; you had become his island. A place of solitude he could wander to when seeking comfort.

“I reach for you too,” you started quietly. “I think you’re just better at words than me, but I do love you too..”

“I’m not good at words, at all actually.”

“Dude, you just recited like… some romantic poem or something as a confession!”

Soobin stared off into the distance, lips jutted out slightly in thought before he shrugged.

“Hm? I don’t think it sounded like anything too special, it was just the truth.”

Burying your face into his shoulder, you refused to look at anything else as you sighed.

This made him chuckle again as he began pointing things out to you to get you to look down.

The small sights of couples play fighting and your friends conversing down below somehow calmed your aching nerves.

In truth, it had been to calm the both of you down.

Even if he did a good job at not showing it in the moment, the internal freak out he had on ground in the wake of being picked by you had shook him quite a bit.

Not that he would admit it, the last thing he needed was you making fun of him.

Regardless, the words he had been waiting to tell you for however long had finally been spoken, a wave of contentment washed over him.

Soobin, who would always speak your name with gratitude, knowing it was the mantra of his soul.

Forever grateful to know you in any way you would allow him.

The man who would leave markers for you at every turn so if you had ever gotten lost, you would know where to return to.

Soobin who could find pieces of you in everything that caught his breath.

Somehow, you had never felt more loved than you did at this moment.

“Y/N, you’re special to me in ways that I can’t describe. You are love at its most inexplicable.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ beomgyu's song. ] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief. Beomgyu swayed back and forth on his heels, clapping his hands together.

“One, two…” he began counting down dramatically, motioning for you to hurry up as people behind him waited.

Shooting him an irritated glare, you reached over the chainlink and grabbed his hand. The action quickly made him stop and a wide satisfied grin made its’ way onto his face.

“Hah!” Beomgyu shoved the stick of cotton candy he had been holding in Yeonjun’s hand as the boy took it with a confused look before shrugging, taking a bite from it.

Stepping forward, the two of you step onto the gondola as the attendant begins to follow the safety measures.

“Hey, Y—”

“Gyu, if you start tweaking on this ride when we get up there I’m flinging you off and then myself.”

Beomgyu’s wide smile fell and he blinked slowly, hands clasped together. “Oh!”

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent, the ground falling away beneath and butterflies beginning in your stomach.

“I wasn’t going to, what I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted is that it’ll be fine. This is like, the second safest ride after the carousel and you did fine on that.”

The carnival buzzed with excitement below as the sounds blended with the lively atmosphere.

You let out a huff, turning toward him. “That’s a kid’s ride.”

“And so is this! Ta-da!”

“Right. Thanks, Beomgyu.”

The same mischievous grin never left his face and you found yourself more focused on him than the strange jumps in your heart.

Despite your nervousness, you couldn't help but laugh, grateful for Beomgyu’s lightheartedness.

It was obvious he was putting up his usual act to entertain you but you found yourself appreciating it as a nice distraction.

"Thanks for always making me laugh, at least.” you said, voice filled with gratitude as you swung your legs back and forth.

He noticed the motion and let out a sigh of relief, grateful that he had managed to calm you down enough that you were seeming more comfortable.

He flashed you a boyish grin, eyes sparkling. "Anything for you, Y/N~”

You cringed at the high pitched voice he put on as he puckered his lips towards you, shoving him away with a choked laugh.

The quick distraction seemed to lose your focus as the ferris wheel reached its peak and your nerves seemed to resurface.

Beomgyu was quick to notice and reached out, placing a hand under your chin and turning your face to him.

"Don't worry, Y/N. I'm right here with you," his voice was soft and comforting and you almost felt nauseous at how gentle he had been.

The whole time, even with getting swept up in the rush of the night, he always seemed to hold himself back for you when he knew you needed it.

“Yeah, right. You’re always here aren’t you?“

“Always for you, that’s why I’m your favorite.”

“Hm… are you?”

“Would I be here if I wasn’t?” His voice was teasing, although it sounded like a genuine question.

“I guess not.” It came out in a mumble, you not wanting to fully confess that he had been right.

“You’re always on my mind, that’s for sure.”

Hearing this, Beomgyu gave you a curious look before confidently grabbing your hand in his and holding it up in front of you. “All according to plan, then.”

This time it was your turn to give him a confused look, tilting your head to the side slightly. “What do you mean?”

He smiled, “I always want you to think about me. I want there to be some tiny particle of thought that always holds a piece of me, just like how you’re always on my mind.”

Every word was the truth— Beomgyu knew that the world wouldn’t end if you had slipped out of his life but he was sure it would stop turning entirely.

You had come to fit in his life like a recurring dream, unknowingly invading his every thought like he wished he could for you.

Even when only an arm's length away—it felt like you were somewhere else, in your own world entirely. He would reach out and touch you, only for his hand to come up empty.

You almost felt sick from how flushed you felt, eyes searching for any sign of a joke but only finding a look of pure sincerity. Any mischievous glint before had completely melted away.

“You think of me?” You asked, almost breathless.

“Obviously, I do. I love you.”

You felt a wave of warmth wash over you, all you could focus on was how breathtaking Beomgyu had looked.

In the moment there was no humor in his voice, just genuine affection. It would almost be alarming if you hadn’t known him as well as you did.

There wasn’t any need to question it, his love was always there just bubbling underneath the surface. Maybe he just expressed it in his own way.

“I do too.”

“Think of me, or love me?”

“Well both… obviously.” You said, mocking his tone from moments earlier.

Your heart was pounding in your chest at the admission as you noticed the way his gaze softened while he looked at you. A way you’d only seen in your daydreams.

As you rise higher and higher, the carnival below seemed to be drowned out even with how bustling it had been.

The sounds of laughter and music faded to the background and all you could focus on was the sound of the wind and the gentle creaking of the wheel as it turned.

Without hesitation, Beomgyu brought your hands held up between you to his mouth. You smiled, embarrassed as he placed a gentle kiss to your knuckles.

The cute moment didn’t last long before he gently bit down on your hand, causing you to jump and pull it away from him as he snickered.

“What is wrong with you?” The seat shook slightly due to you jumping and you found yourself quickly grabbing onto his arm, clinging onto him.

“Are you crazy?”

“Crazy over you~”

“…Yuck.” A quiet laugh left your lips, shortly followed by a deep breath as you calmed yourself for the final time.

Despite the fact that your seat had stopped shaking, your grip on his arm stayed the same.

The wheel began its descent as the two of you sat in a comfortable silence, the soft chiming music below slowly coming back into focus.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“I hope that little by little, you find yourself thinking of me, until you wake up one morning and realize you can't think of anything else, because I’ll always be here.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ Break My Heart Again.

The only thing that could ruin your nights with Taehyun was the harsh reality that peeks in with the sun the morning after.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 2k ✧ angst

The morning sun gently filters through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the room as you sit at the table across from him, sipping on a steaming cup of coffee. The air was filled with a sense of calm and tranquility, the lingering warmth of last night still palpable between you.

The crease by his eyes when he smiled at you before looking down toward his phone almost had your head spinning and if you weren’t seated, you swore you could have fallen over.

There was a quietness to the moment, the only sound being the gentle hum of the coffee maker and the occasional clink of your ceramic mug against the tabletop.

The mug in front of him sat unmoved, half empty as remnants of spilt coffee dried on the rim with the time it remained untouched.

As you took another sip of your coffee, you stole a glance at Taehyun, the same small smile playing at the corners of your lips. Something in the way he leaned into the palm of his hand had you mesmerized. Your best friend, Taehyun, ever the beauty.

Maybe that was what it was that made you head over heels for him: that sense of familiarity in the way you looked at each other, a silent acknowledgment of the connection you shared.

One night, after all of the longing glances shared there had been a moment when the two of you crossed the line of friendship into something more. Not friends anymore but not quite lovers.

Nothing felt like yours anymore after that. Every little thing that defined you; the small sentimental trinkets he had gifted you from his travels, your car keys that had now become lonely with the departure of your apartment key. The pin codes and passwords you memorized like the back of your hand, always knowing he would be there to meet you on the other side.

They all felt like you, at one point in time. Your spare apartment key that had been thrown on his own keychain for when he would come over for sacred friend dates was now used only in the late night. Eventually, the pin codes you had memorized for him during the day faded from your mind as he made sure to meet you at the door, quickly punching it in himself to sneak you in late at night.

And more than anything else, your phone number— the one he boldly asked for that night you met, amidst a sea of your friends, under a sky of talking satellites and glowing stars. You hadn’t missed the look of surprise on their faces, especially Beomgyu’s as his eyes peered up at you from behind his cup.

Across the table, Taehyun looked up from his phone incessantly again and returned your smile. There was a warmth in his gaze, a silent reassurance that despite the fleeting nature of your encounters, the moment was one you both savored. It was in his eyes that you had found that shred of hope you desperately clung to like a kitten stuck up a tree.

As you continued to drink your coffee, you found yourself lost in thought, reflecting on the events of the previous night. Despite the uncertainty of what the future may hold, there's a sense of contentment in knowing that for this brief moment in time, you were exactly where you were meant to be.

The sun casted long shadows across the room as you sat together, lost in your own thoughts.

Taehyun had always felt like home, maybe it was the years you had spent getting to know each other and memorizing his most unnoticeable habits but you could never imagine a day going by without thinking of him.

Though you always knew that was love, it began to feel like a curse.

The peace was broken by the scratch of his chair against the floor, excusing himself from the table as he wordlessly made his way to the sink. The sound of cold coffee being poured down the drain had you swallowing as you watched him place his cup in there.

The air of familiarity he carried with himself in your apartment began to make you feel sick. He was your best friend yet when he was here, this place was almost like his second home.

With a quick ‘see you later’ and a gentle kiss to your forehead, he was off and suddenly you had lost your appetite.

Something that should feel so sweet, saved for the person you wanted to cherish so carefully instead felt like a mark of shame.

You were sure that he pitied you— that must have been it as any kind of affection outside of the bedroom began to feel like pity.

There were times where you had shared moments and everything felt right. Long before this arrangement began and you never spoke out loud of your admirations, his hands felt much more sure of their actions.

A part of you wanted to tell him not to bother coming back if he couldn’t admit that there was something— but that idea of giving up on him was somehow worse than pretending you were fine being just friends.

The first time you had broken up the arrangement, it proved difficult to remain friends. Knowing glances and brushing touches, it was hard to pretend he didn’t know you more intimately than anyone ever had.

The worst thing yet, your number would always belong to him. Buried somewhere deep in his missed calls, collecting dust, you knew that it would always be there. You could never bear to get rid of him.

Even with the amount of rust accumulated between the lines of communication, the memory of all the words exchanged seemed to keep them from ever being completely severed.

Once you had told him to leave you alone completely. Despite knowing that was the last thing you wanted, he decided to respect your wishes with a gentle kiss to your wrist and no goodbye. The worst thing about Taehyun would always be how gentle he was, how he always knew the right thing to do to hurt you so deeply.

Hurting you was never what he wanted, even if you could never understand that. Maybe your mind would try and convince you that it was true but in the end, he would always be a mystery.

Unsurprisingly, it had been you who broke that promise you begged him to keep as you contacted him through one of your friends. It wasn’t your proudest moment but with Kai being more than willing to help you rekindle your ‘friendship’, you couldn’t find it in yourself to refuse, even if it was selfish.

As happy as he was to hear from you, Taehyun felt much more concerned. These swings in your mood had become more and more frequent and he found himself a bit distressed. Despite the rational part of his brain wanting to pry and get you to admit the truth, he decided to let himself remain cautiously optomistic for the two of you.

You weren’t ever aware of Taehyun’s feelings for you, selfishly you were too wrapped up in your own mind and anxieties to ever notice.

The first time you had gotten a glance of how he felt was the first night you had found yourself in his bed since the silence. Lying on your stomach with your feet in the air, your eyes were glued to the tv as his hand found its’ way onto the back of your thigh, stilling your movements.

“You know I would have answered you, right?”

The sincerity in his tone had you furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, a pit growing in your stomach at the idea of another argument. Even while knowing he would never argue with you on purpose, you were unfortunately growing increasingly aware of your own ability to cause arguments.

“…Huh?” Hesitantly you pushed yourself up, turning towards him on your knees. His hand fell to the bed as you looked down at it, still extended toward you despite your skins new absence.

“Those months we stopped talking. You called me.”

The pit in your stomach tightened for a moment as the embarrassment hit you, your face heating up.

“I thought you deleted my number?” You asked, nervously reaching out for his hand. His touch was enough to comfort you.

“No matter how many times I erased you from my phone, I’d still recognize your number.”

A wide smile made its way onto his face and he let out a small laugh, seemingly growing shy. The slight purr behind his laugh had you smiling yourself as you moved closer.

“Yeah?”

“Of course, because it’s an extension of you.”

Even though there was nothing particularly romantic about that sentence, you found yourself unfortunately aware of just how in love with him you were and the growing possibility that maybe, he had felt something for you as well.

The series of twos and ones he grew to memorize like the dips of your waist and the curves of your hips, despite your minds’ constant attempts to remind you there was no feelings behind that memory game he seemed to play, you found yourself clinging to the idea that there was.

To you, memorization was the purest form of love.

Taehyun’s hands pressed into the small of your back was now something you would remember forever, similarly to the scent of the room you’d first met when the world seemed to tilt on its’ access.

Numbers that were reminiscent of two contented cats, curled together like a pair of speech marks.

It was that time of night where the city seemed to quiet down and all you heard were the chirping of bugs outside as you stared down at the table. A porcelain plate, its’ intricate designs only disgraced with a cold slice of half-eaten pie.

Despite wanting to, you couldn’t find it in yourself to eat the rest of it. All you could think about was how much better it had tasted when he was across from you.

The second time you had caught a glimpse of how he felt had also been the second time you had broken off the arrangement.

Your head fell into your hands with choked out sobs, a feeling a shame and disgust at the overwhelming feeling of love. Surely, that was the worst feeling among all.

The guilt was not even close to being able to combat the love you had for him.

Even with the pathetic show of distress you found yourself in, his hands broke you down as he pulled you into him gently.

“If I can never hold you or kiss you again, I can live with that.” He said.

The sentence alone broke your heart but even still, your grip on his shirt tightened as you buried your face into him deeper.

Too caught up in your sobs, you didn’t notice the shaky breath he let out before continuing, “but I can’t stand the idea of us not speaking again…”

You tried your best to calm your breathing, wishing that he would just say what you wanted to hear. After all of this time and distress, if he could just finally say it: everything would be okay.

That was what you convinced yourself, at least— blaming him was better than acknowledging the truth. It was both of your faults: you were both just too afraid.

“Can you at the very least, allow me that one thing? I never want to go back to the time before I met you.”

With that, his hands that seemed to break you down held you like water in his hands. The words felt healing, even knowing that you were slipping through the cracks.

Yet even with how painful you knew it would be— knowing you’ll never truly get over him, when you looked up to see the sadness for the first time in his own eyes, you agreed.

It wasn’t his fault, it could never be his fault because no matter how many times you said the arrangement wasn’t working: you were always the one who ran back to him.

After that night, it wasn’t long before you were calling him with mascara running down your face after crying over how you miss him or showing up outside his dorm with lipstick smudged from some drunk douchebag you couldn’t bother to remember the name of.

And with the hurt and concern in his eyes making you shiver under his gaze, you’d pull him in and his own heart would stop as the realization would hit him all over again of what he had started back then never truly stopped.

You wondered what would go through his mind if one day he had dialed your number to find it had been disconnected.

There were one too many times you’d considered the act, running away to some other city where you couldn’t run back to his arms. That self-destructive dance the two of you seemed to find yourself trapped in because being something was better than nothing.

You wondered if his imagination would race with thoughts of what new city you had run to and who was sharing your bed if not him.

Something that could be fixed with three words seemed so unsolvable to the two of you like a rubiks, refusing to make the next move due to fear of complicating it more.

Taehyun wasn’t one to make reckless decisions but when it came to you, he found himself regretting being too prideful to admit how he felt in the beginning.

When you agreed to be friends with benefits, he silently found himself clinging to the hope that you liked him as much as he had liked you, because regardless of what he had said: all he wanted was you.

Maybe if he had been honest about the relationship he wanted back then rather than trying to find some middle ground, you wouldn’t have grown to feel he was disingenuous.

Similarly to how Taehyun changed what was yours, you had taught him how much of your lives were interchangeable, how little was truly his as well.

Not only someone else’s— your ring tone, his songs, your words, his proposition and your broken heart. Those were the things you inherited by choice or by chance.

And it was never your choice to love the other.

So until one of you gains the courage to break the cycle of yearning in silence or impossibly falls out of love between the sheets, you’ve agreed to drink your coffee in the mornings and allow the other to break your heart once more.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ Café au lait.

A new face visiting your favorite café haunts you for days afterward as you imagine what could have been if you’d said anything. Little did you know that he was experiencing just the same.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 2k ✧ fluff

There was this man who drove you crazy— a man that you knew absolutely nothing about aside from the way his eyes widened behind the rims of his glasses and the dimples he had when he smiled at you.

This man who drove you absolutely mad, to think he saw you— as his eyes passed over you and if only there had been some small mishap in that pivotal moment.

A spilled drink, a stumble through the door—his hand reaching out to steady you and it would have happened.

In the perfect world in your mind, it happened.

And in this perfect world, a whole new world would have opened up like a vortex to swallow you both into blissful delirium. The smile he gave you would be one of pure love and in that moment, in his mind, everything had clicked— you were the one he could never let get away.

But that didn’t happen. Instead, you turned away, out of shyness or indecision and by the time you turned back to stutter out an introduction, he was gone.

The first and only time you had ran into him, you were in a rush to leave carrying a tray of drinks for you and your friend as your phone continued to buzz in your pocket with questions of your whereabouts.

Barely holding onto the tray in your arms, one side tucked under your chin for extra protection you reached into your pocket to check the screen.

(11:35 AM) Na-gyung ♡: Tourney starting soon!!

There, stumbling about in frustration as you attempted to unlock your phone, you failed to realize the tall figure walking directly towards you.

Instead of the two of you walking into each other and causing a head-on collision outside of this quiet cafe, the worker behind the counter quickly took notice of the impending incident and cheerfully called out a warning.

The two of you looked up from your phones, startled and locked eyes standing right in front of each other.

His eyes cast down towards you and he gave you a small smile, weaving around you with a quick apology as he made his way to the counter to place his order.

His eyes kind behind thick rimmed glasses, you somehow had decided in that moment that those eyes were the ones that you wanted to wake up to every morning.

How ridiculous you were to believe in love at first sight.

Unlike him, you stood for a moment mentally cursing at yourself for almost running into him. And then mentally screaming at yourself for how attractive you found him.

Berating yourself for how desperately you wished that worker was instead focusing on the bubbling foam in their hands rather than the chime of the bell.

Later that day, you tried to explain the encounter to Na-gyung as she gave you a small laugh and a dismissive wave of her hand while reaching for her coffee.

“Sounds like you missed your ideal man… sorry! That’s a bummer, Y/N. But hey, at least you have your café au lait.”

There was no way to explain it without sounding completely unsound, you were sure of that as she put her headphones back over her head with a laugh and straightened her back, focusing her energy to the game she was playing for.

Too distracted by the man you had seen then, you sat back and watched the colors flashing on her monitor, mind drowning out the chatter around the both of you.

There was no way to explain it and yet, it was all you thought about.

That click you felt when your eyes met his, like the switch of a train track, transporting you for one miraculous moment, to what could have been.

Even though the ride to the convention hall had you drowning in imaginary scenarios with this man you knew nothing about, wondering if it was some sort of cosmic sign— reality was quick to intervene and with a shake of your head, you told yourself to stop chasing shadows.

Thoughts of him popped up every now and then, passing faces on the street that seemed the slightest bit familiar had you turning back.

You wondered if he had thought about you too, conveniently giving yourself an excuse to wonder about him more.

Giving yourself the benefit of the doubt and allowing yourself to imagine that this stranger had fallen as deeply into you as you had him.

You were sure what you felt was real— and you found yourself subconsciously always listening for that click.

Imagining it was the sound of your fate beckoning or somehow the voice of your destiny.

Eventually, you decided that it sometimes would only call once.

Meanwhile, Soobin leaned against the wall of the practice room, doing his best to steady his breathing after the intense choreography the group had to endure.

“Tired already?” Taehyun asked with a slight amusement to his voice. Soobin shot him a glare and he just laughed, patting him on the shoulder.

Yeonjun seemed relieved that their practice was over as he made his way to him, wiping some sweat off of his face.

“You’re not too tired to go out, are you?”

Soobin shot him a look as if to ask if he was insane, his heart beating out of his chest. The five of them had been practicing almost everyday between any scheduled appearances or meetings that they had, barely affording them any time to go out.

Normally, Soobin didn’t mind being busy as much using their fans as a source of encouragement or energy but these days he found himself growing a bit resentful at this busy schedule.

Not for any particular distaste for his job, he was forever grateful to be where he was and do something he was so passionate about.

It was because of you.

Whoever you were, that was. He’s seen thousands of faces, some more memorable than others but none as indelible as you.

The split second that he saw you, the bell chiming behind him as you both froze in front of each other at the call of caution.

The brief eye contact and the way your eyes widened as he gave you a small, awkward smile.

And though the moment happened in a flash, for him it felt as if time had frozen altogether and in that split second he had memorized every feature of yours a million times over.

He found himself thinking back to you, wanting to see you again for whatever strange reason.

Soobin had gone back to that cafe a few more times after that, never finding you but somehow always feeling as if he had just missed you.

The perpetual motion of a spinning ballerina trapped inside a music box.

The gentle tune of a piano, delicate fingers pressing down on every key.

A complete stranger who had made the most devastating impression on him simply from existing.

You were the zigzag in his straight line, something new thrown into his life to keep him on his toes.

The absence in his direction.

Anytime the bell would chime, any greetings called would fall on deaf ears as his eyes scanned the area only for him to be faced with the slight disappoint.

“Excuse me for asking but— you always seem like you’re looking for someone.” The girl behind the counter said hesitantly as she worked to make his drink.

Soobin looked up from his phone beside the counter, eyebrows raising a bit in surprise.

Then, his cheeks heated up with the embarrassment of being caught in the act of daydreaming.

“Sorry! I wasn’t trying to call you out or anything— actually, there’s this girl that comes here too around the same time so I was just wondering if…”

She paused, focusing on placing the top securely onto the cup.

Soobin opened his mouth to answer before a yelp sounded behind the girl, the boy behind her calling for as he quickly grabbed paper towels from under the counter.

“You— seriously, Jake?! The milk frother again?!”

The girl handed him his drink with a rushed apology behind spinning on her heel and going to help the boy who gave a nervous chuckle, standing back from the mess to let her take over cleaning.

Since then, Soobin had gone back whenever he had the time hoping that it was you.

Overtime, reality began to sink in as he found himself questioning why he had gone back in the first place.

If he saw you, what would he even say?

“Yo! Earth to Soobin,” Yeonjun shoulder checked the taller boy, successfully bringing him out of his fit of disassociation.

Beomgyu snickered, “he’s probably daydreaming again about cafe girl again.”

“Was not—” the defensive tone was clear to all of the guys as they shared knowing glances toward each other and Yeonjun just laughed as Soobin shrunk into himself.

Letting you slip up one day in a conversation with him, Beomgyu hadn’t let him live his infatuation down.

It wasn’t that he thought it was childish— even though they both knew it was, he was simply entertained to see Soobin so passionate about a stranger.

There was a few times Beomgyu had gone himself, searching the patrons for someone who fit Soobin’s description of you but none seemed quite perfect enough.

“Well, whether you were or not… I’m feeling like an iced americano. Why don’t we go to that cafe that you’re definitely not obsessed with?”

“Very smooth, Yeonjun.” Taehyun added.

That was how he found himself walking in, his members trailing behind him like some sort of posse.

The large cafe now felt much smaller and he began to realize just how much attention they had garnered being so close together.

The chime of the bell behind him went unnoticed as he engaged in conversation with his members tiredly, running a hand through his now freshly washed hair.

“I’m not saying that you’re an obsessed loser, what I am saying is—“

“Uh, Soobin—”

“I’m not obsessed, it’s just— actually, no. I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

“Have to? No. Do I want you to? Well, yes!”

“Soobin—”

“I gotta side with Beomgyu on this one, I never thought of you as some hopeless romantic, y’know? Your dedication is definitely cute, though.”

“What? I’m not— it’s not cute, it’s just… I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just—”

“Soobin—!”

Growing annoyed at his older friend’s bickering and blatant ignorance of him, Kai finally nudged Soobin to gain his attention and motioned toward the line they had previously occupied.

Begrudgingly, Soobin’s eyes trailed to where Kai had pointed only to freeze for a split moment.

And all over again, he remembered exactly what you were.

You were every turn taken when racing through a hedge maze, against the setting sun.

You were the tide that came in and out, like the breath of the wounded. The blood that flowed between his heart and head.

The book that was not yet written, the sentence that was not scripted.

You were the words he wished he could have said that day.

There tiredly rubbing your eyes, you gave your order and stepped aside with eyes cast down as you typed away at your phone unaware of the people around you.

Unaware or uninterested, he couldn’t tell. What he could tell was how exhausted you seemed, yet even in that state you were just as distracting as ever.

Maybe it was just because it was you.

And how you were standing there, in front of him. After slipping just out of reach so many times, he was finally looking at you again— and you were so, so beautiful.

All those times he thought about seeing you again, thinking over everything he could say and only coming up empty at the thought of your eyes alone.

Finally in front of him— no longer a sad reflection of a dream once lost, he realized why his heart had sent him to search for you in every street.

He realized he didn’t want to go a day without your smile. Without telling you things and hearing your voice back, no matter what you said.

Then, that first day searching for you had arrived and with it, the disappointment. It was so damn hard but the next was harder.

That sinking feeling of disappointment every time he had walked in was gone— it had gotten worse, and he was convinced he wasn't going to be okay for a very long time.

To experience all of this over a stranger, he was sure he had gone completely mad.

To lose you wasn’t an event— it didn’t happen once. It happened over and over again, every time he scanned for you in those walls only to come up with nothing but the lingering scent of your perfume.

He lost you every time his eyes trailed that familiar menu; knowing in his heart his order would never change.

Standing and studying it to buy some time as if that would somehow will you to appear behind him.

Whenever that one song he remembered from that day played on the cafe’s playlist, or when he would hear that bell chime all over again.

To lose you— to lose something that was never his in the first place.

But he wanted you to be. Without any rhyme or reason, he felt like he had to find you and never allow himself to grieve the loss of you again, if you would allow him to.

Always going back to that moment of brief eye contact and that ‘click’ he had heard in the back of his mind, as if all the gears in his heart stopped working— only for that split second.

He lost you every time he thought of kissing you, holding you, or wanting you.

Going to bed at night and wishing the two of you were walking down cobblestone streets instead, wishing you could tell him about your day.

Wishing he knew your name and aspirations, what small habits you had that he would grow to love like he had grew to love the scent of that cafe.

Simply for the fact that your memory— and in turn, you, existed within those walls.

“Order for Y/N?” The familiar voice of that one employee you never seemed to remember the name of— embarrassing, considering how often you had occupied the cafe— rang out and you paused your typing, looking up with a smile only to find someone else had grabbed your drink.

Your eyebrow quirked up in irritation, already exhausted from a long day as your eyes followed to see who dared to grab it out of your reach only for your heart to skip at the sight.

Those same glasses, that same smile.

Now he stood in front of you, holding out your drink of choice with that same small smile he gave you the first time you had ran into each other and you could have sworn you had seen the admiration you only dreamed of.

Maybe you weren’t crazy to believe in love at first sight, or maybe he was just as crazy as you were.

“Café au lait?”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ jet lag.

Late nights with Beomgyu returning from trips always seemed to leave the two of you in a weird state of sentimentality.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff

When Beomgyu was away, there were countless questions that lingered in your mind.

Did he think of you on airplanes? With his headphones snug around his ears and the clouds below?

Did he think of your lips as he was exploring new territory— traveling against the turn of the planet, did it take him back to your bedroom?

These were questions you’d never burden him with the pressure of answering so soon, though you wished he would.

What you did know was that you thought of him— always, you thought of him.

You thought of him on airplanes, in thoughts that went a million miles an hour. Over towers made of tin and toy towns filled with figures you’d never know.

Nothing felt real above the ground, your head as dizzy as the first time he kissed you.

You wondered if he thought of the past, in the early morning light when he would wake up next to some stranger, wondering why he didn’t feel a thing.

No one as comparable to what the two of you shared now.

In truth, you thought of the past yourself.

In every bar room and bedroom where you were forced into conversation or giving away parts of yourself to partners who didn’t deserve you— you missed him.

Even without knowing him back then, your heart missed him.

Although these thoughts of the past were shameful to most, never once did you find yourself embarrassed of it all. He never gave you any reason to.

The memories of being tangled in bedsheets with lovers you can’t recall the names of only served as a reminder now.

Never have you been loved as wholly as you were now.

A love in its’ very early stages has somehow given you this feeling of permanence.

These questions and thoughts of what his mind would conjure up in your absence only made you more anxious to see him next.

Teasing texts and photo updates from his travels had you checking your phone, giddy eyes gleaming with excitement.

You wonder if he thought of you in cars. When every turn they took was driving the two of you further apart.

The distance always growing.

Did every road sign pleading him to take care, remind him of how much you wanted him, how deeply he was loved?

The signs issuing out warnings of propriety and setting in place the rules to keep him in check, almost scolding him for leaving.

And staring out the window, miles away from you— Beomgyu found himself thinking of you on the roads that would stretch into the horizon.

On roundabouts and signs that kept telling him that they were going in the wrong direction.

That he was going in the wrong direction: away from you.

In the car, headphones playing a song you’d mentioned in passing— he hoped that you thought of him as much as he thought of you.

Everything was still so fresh between the two of you. There was so much uncovered ground that the two of you desperately wanted to explore together, toeing and dancing on the line of it all, hand in hand.

No matter how many days had passed, your minds drifted back to each other.

In the kitchen of your apartment, humming a song that you’d began to associate with him in your current ‘honeymoon phase’ the thoughts resurfaced once more.

You hoped that every step would bring him closer, that every dead end was a messenger, willing him to turn back around, reminding him when it was time to come home.

The sound of a key turning in the doorway would have made you jump had it not been for you noticing the footsteps leading up to it. His footsteps, a sound newly memorized.

The humming never stopped, even as the sound of tired shuffling and wheels rolling on the wooden floor approached.

The suitcase was quickly discarded in the hallway, hands making their way around your waist and his breath against your neck.

Pausing, you placed the dish you were working on in the sink. “You’re back,” you said quietly.

Before he could respond, a yawn escaped his lips.

You chuckled, grabbing his hands and placing them at his sides as you turned. He frowned for a moment before you faced him, taking his headphones off from around his neck.

Gently, you placed a kiss to his lips. He chased you for more as you pulled away, only for you to place a finger against his pout.

“Let’s go to bed.” Too tired to argue, he nodded.

You locked your fingers with his, gently pulling him toward your bedroom. Without bothering to shed his coat, he sat down.

The nagging look you gave him had him letting out a huff before he shook it off, tossing it to the floor.

While he shed his layers, you went back to the hallway to grab his suitcase and wheel it in the safety of the room.

“I barely know you,” he said, voice heavy with sleep.

Beomgyu already had a large amount of clothes he had left at your apartment, you decided that you would unpack his things for him later.

“You know me well enough.” You said quietly, sitting down onto the bed next to him.

His eyes were heavy, barely being able to keep them awake. Despite this, he widened them as much as he could in an attempt to stay awake. To savor the moments with you.

“I don't know your favorite color or how you like your coffee.” He continued.

“I don’t think I’m very picky when it comes to colors— I like pink flowers though, if that’s what you’re asking.” Your answer was teasing as you gently tapped his nose.

The small smile he gave you as his eyes followed your finger made your heart flutter.

“I’m just saying, we should know these things.”

Beomgyu, currently fighting to stay awake for the sake of spending time with you was much different than his usual self.

“We’ll learn,”

You found yourself loving both versions all the same.

“Plus, I know Toto. I think that’s a start.

The mention of his beloved parrot had him rolling his eyes, recalling the memory of the first time he had shown you him.

Terrified as the birds’ claw sunk into your arm, you could barely bring yourself to make eye contact with it.

He always laughed at you for that.

“What about what keeps you up at night or the lullabies that sing you to sleep?”

You tilted your head to the side, fixing your position on the bed as you motioned for him to lie down.

“No one has ever sang me lullabies.”

Soon his head was in your lap as you gently brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“Do you want me to?”

“Depends, do you want to?”

He paused for a moment, thinking over the idea. It seemed a bit embarrassing but for you, he’d do it.

“Well,” he began.

“I don't know a thing about the first guy you loved, why you stopped loving him or if you still do…”

As he looked up at you with his eyes that held the stars even in the darkness, you smiled.

“You don’t ever have to worry about that now.”

There was a comfortable silence and a few moments in as you leaned your head back with a deep breath, you wondered if he had fallen asleep.

Before you could check, he started again.

You continued to stare at the dark ceiling.

“I don't know how many cells you’re made of or if they have any idea that they’re part of something so unimaginably perfect.”

As the blood rushed to your head and you found yourself inevitably dizzy at his confession, you closed your eyes and hummed.

Maybe it was an attempt to calm the swelling of your heart.

“I don’t know any of that about you, either.” You started.

Even in the darkness, his eyes followed your every move as if he was in a trance.

Maybe it was due to the fact that he was that tired or maybe it was because he was realizing that he was in love.

“We may not have a clue about any of these things yet, but this—” you placed your hand on his chest, over his vulnerable heart. “This we know.”

Somehow with that he felt all of the questions he had were stilled, his heart beating in the palm of your hand.

“…You’re right. We have time.”

The comfortable silence returned as your hands found their way into his hair once again, running through it and occasionally massaging shapes to his skin.

And as his eyes collapsed heavy with exhaustion, burying his face against the warmth of your body, it was your hand holding his heart that brought him home.

“Goodnight, Gyu.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ sparks.

Watching the fireworks with Yeonjun, nothing is as sweet as the final comedown.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 700 : drabble ✧ fluff , comfort

It was raining on the day that you met Yeonjun. With your hair wet and tangled, with droplets of water sliding down your cheeks like crystal teardrops and the uncomfortable feeling of sopping wet clothes clinging to your body.

It was in the midst of the longest you had gone without human contact when you met him; without the soft, conceding warmth of someone else's skin. The rain felt much colder alone.

You began to crave it after a while, missing the comfort one could provide. Missing the ability to obsess over the most trivial things they shared with you.

The small things like a hand on your shoulder or breakfast with company in the morning seemed much warmer in the past of your recollected memories.

When you met Yeonjun, it had been in the middle of wondering how long it would be before you’d lose all recollection of that love.

It was in the lobby of the office’s building the two of you crossed paths, both seemingly recovering from the torrential downpour outside.

Maybe it was the position you were in at that time of your life, or maybe it was just his smile.

You realized that there was penance in yearning and the poverty that comes from pining for someone, rich only in the love that you gave away.

It was in the first time meeting him that you came to realize, sometimes the loneliest place to be is in love.

It changed the more you saw each other. Two strangers shaking from the rain somehow agreed to reunite in any weather, to experience it all together.

It was one sunny day when he took your trembling hands in his, placing a gentle kiss to your wrist as his eyes peered up at you with devotion.

“You’re safe with me.”

His touch was sweet like a memory of something long gone and you wanted to fold yourself into his arms like origami to stay with him forever, perfectly placed in his heart.

He tells you how precious you are to him and that he will spoil you with love if you allow him to.

It happened just like that.

One day you met him and for some inexplicable reason, you felt more connected to this stranger than anyone else.

No matter how you tried to find the reason, to understand the importance of your meeting, you always came up short.

Perhaps it was because Yeonjun carried an angel within him in your eyes.

Yeonjun, an angel sent to you for some higher purpose, to keep you safe during a perilous time.

To heal and gently put back together a heart that he did not break.

Regardless of the reasoning, you made the conscious decision to trust him.

Even if he came hand in hand with pain or suffering, you decided to risk it all for his smile.

Finding that the reason for his presence in your life will become clear in due time.

And as you grew to love him, you came to realize that his purpose isn't to save you but to show you how to save yourself.

And once this was fulfilled, the halo lifted but the glow in your heart remained all the same.

After the fireworks come down, the smell of gunpowder lingered and his arm pulled you into him, bodies coming together. Overwhelming your senses now with only him.

“It's so dark right now, I can't see any light around me.”

In the darkness, you felt the wind catch in your hair as your nose twitched at the cold.

The hushed whispers around you were drowned out by your favorite laugh, his lips coming down to press against your forehead gently.

“That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it but I can.”

You had always thought that the feeling of joy Yeonjun gave you was a prelude to something wonderful— something greater than yourselves.

Like seeing a shooting star or getting a text from an old friend when you weren't expecting one, the unexpected but welcome development of love— the swift, surprising transition from nothing to everything.

A fleeting feeling that held a world of promise.

And then the light pierced through the dark as the rain stopped falling, leaving only the sparks of the fireworks behind.

And all the while, he held you whispering his confessions of love under them all.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ