My Brother Just Said He Thinks Superman And Batman Are Overrated.

My brother just said he thinks Superman and Batman are overrated.

*shuts myself in my room* SOMETHING IN THE WAY MMMM YEAH UNDERNEATH THE-

Okay, I admit to laughing while making this one.

"Alfred is so good at cooking!" "No one can out cook Alfred"

You fool. He is old. He is British. He is white. That is three things against him.

Bruce likes his cooking because he's very precise and gets all necessary ingredients in. Everyone else? Hates it but thinks they're the only one and that they are crazy.

Dick, trying to not get thrown back into the system: Yummy :)

Jason, a street kid who doesn't regain proper tastes until the Pit: So good.

Tim Drake, scared of being in the way: Love it :)

Damian, who knows the values of nutrients and respecting elder: Good.

I don't think violence should be your first, second, or third response to anything. You should try to come to understandings and should always strive towards peace. In fact, I vie-

Person: There's a Batgirl and Batman shipper!

Me: *cocks Glock* Where?

I’m gonna be honest, people pretending Bruce has an adoption addiction Is funny and all, but it’s starting to trick people into thinking he goes out searching for and wanting to put all these actual children in the line of danger when in reality they just sorta latch onto his leg while he stands there trying shake them off screaming “NO, I’M NOT DOING THIS AGAIN” ‘till he caves and teaches them jujitsu

Bruce: I am definitely cool. Like, I might be a dad but I'm still hip with the times.

Also Bruce:

Wears New Balance Shoes ("Foot care is important for super heros")

Has a fanny pack in both his civilian and hero life

Slaps his knees and says 'Whelp' when he wants conversations to be over (he does it within minutes )

Falls asleep in armchairs and snores so loudly he startles himself awake

Calls his children chum, lad, champ, sweetie, baby, etc.

Bruce Wayne is just in denial and his kids make fun of him for it.