I Feel Like Cardan Would Be Secretly Super Into Old Music. Specifically Stuff From The 80s Like Tears

I feel like Cardan would be secretly super into old music. Specifically stuff from the 80s like Tears For Fears.

Kruge. He eats kruge. Probably bird too.

doing one of these for all of the crows lol this has def been done before

Theoretically, if god is real, the first thing I'm doing when I die is smacking the shit out of that cocksucker for making me go through all this shit.

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Since 2023, I have been keeping something know as my Chaos Calender. Everytime an event I deem noteworthy happens, I add it to the calender. I feel like now it a good time to share it.

{2023}

January

-Beyoncé Dubai concert video

-Doja Cat bedazzled with Schiaparelli

-Noah Schnapp came out

February

-Chinese spy balloon burst

March

-Eras tour

-TikTok ban panic

-Trump crime thingy

April

-AI started popping up

May

-Prince Charles crowned

June

-🎶Toxic Gossip Train🎶

August

-The Battle Of Montgomery (Dinner cruise Vs. Pontoon)

- new shape discovered

- Zepotha chaos

- The Joe Hawley document

- Hawaii wildfires

- Ancient underworld passage in Mexico

- Telescopes are time machines

- Trump got arrested

- LIL TAY IS DEAD!?

September

-TIMOTHEE AND KYLIE!?

-Danelo Cavalcante is caught.

-Libya is under water

-Brooklyn is under water

October

-LIL TAY ISN'T DEAD!?

-Israel starts a genocide

-The great Minecraft revolution

-jacksfilm and ssniperwolf drama

November

-New island pops up in Japan.

-Nicholas Cantu punches Dream

December

-Gypsy Rose Blanchard released from jail.

{2024}

January

-Man sneaks into and videos the Bohemian Grove

-Japan earthquakes

-Epstein list

-A LOT of bodies found behind a police station

-guy attacks judge

-Matpat is quitting

-Stanley cup craze

-Why are babies at Sephora

-YanDev apology video

-Golden Globes laugh track

-ThatVeganTeacher starts a cult

-LUBERTO IS CANON

-RIP Lynja :(

-Verbalase 50k vid

-Stallion V. Minaj

February

-The great TikTok muting

-LAUFEY WINS BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM GRAMMY AWARD 2024 FUCK YEAH!!!🔥 🔥 🔥

-MOANA 2 IS APPARENTLY A THING AND COMING OUT THIS YEAR!? LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!

- Stanley Cups have lead in them.

- OpenAi Sora

- Wendy Williams has Frontotemporal Dementia :(

- Rest In Power Aaron Bushnell.

- The downfall of Wilbur Soot (fuck that asshole for abusing Shubble).

March

-JANICE BURGESS IS DEAD WHAT THE FUCK.

- The government is trying to ban TikTok (Again).

- MatPat's final theory

- Quiet On Set documentary

April

-JoJo Siwa drama (Brit Smith 🔛🔝)

-EKT HAS BEEN FOUND

-Man or bear? (Bear)

May

-NYC blanket couple

-Drake V. Kendrick

-Blockout 2024

-JUSTICE FOR JOOST KLEIN

-The northern white rhino has gone extinct.

June

-TRUMP WAS FOUND GUILTY ON 34 COUNTS!

-Chappel Roan as the statue of liberty (yes this is important).

-French people shitting in the Seine.

-Oklahoma board of education mandates a bible in every classroom (It is so much worse than this but I am so fucking tired).

-Chevron Deference has been oveturned.

Cassandra Ito-Ivanov lived with her single mother. And then she died. Cassandra Ito-Ivanov had never met her father. And now, with no one else to watch her, she must go all the way to the other side of the country and live with him. She ends up in Cardinal. A tiny, middle-of-nowhere town that has no such thing as Burger King. Her father is missing ninety percent of the time (big shocker), his so-called housekeeper won’t stop breathing down her neck, and again, there is no such thing as Burger King. It could be worse, she could be in foster care. Cass is odd, but Cardinal is odder. Weird things happen on a daily basis, the forest is forever, and there is no such thing as Burger King. They fear the night, for it holds secrets.

This is my first ever story. Sooooo don't expect it to be perfect. If you like unserious horror stories, try Cardinal on Wattpad (chapters 1 2 and 3 out now). Please just give it a chance.

Constructive criticism is always appreciated.