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𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘼𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙇𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙂𝙤 (𝙆𝙈𝙂)

Pairing: Idol!Mingyu x Non!Idol reader

Genre: heavy angst. 

Summary: you both don’t want this, but you know you had to do this. 

Date of release: 12/3/22

Words count: 9, 151 words. 

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Author notes:

Hello, everyone! after uploading a fluffy shot, I would like to share my latest work that made me cry my eyes out for a few days. It was indeed such a long journey of story development, and I want to share it with you. I use Lisa as Mingyu's ex because FOR ME they are the perfect match. No hate for the queen. My inspiration was a video on TikTok about how seventeen broke up with you. And after watching that video, I have the urge to combine it with the story line that I have before. I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. Any constructive criticism will be good and I apologize if there are any mistakes in grammar or any other else that you found in my writing. Enjoy!

with much love, oppaspearl.

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Playlist:

You know it was wrong to think that your boyfriend is out of love for you anymore when he gives you his world to you, treats you like a queen, stares at you with so much love in his eyes, and always be on your side. 

Maybe it’s the insecurity that blinded your mind.

The insecurity that you kept hidden deep down in your thoughts from the day you meet your boyfriend for the first time. He was a stranger back then, a friend from one of your friends that introduced to you at a party. Without asking who is he, what his job is, and how could he can be invited to one of the parties filled with so many Korean top public figures, you know that your friend introduce Kim Mingyu to you. 

It feels like yesterday when he shook your hands and give you sweet smile as he mentioned his name. You still can remember how the warmth of his strong hands holds you that night, how you melted inside as your eyes met his. The world seems to be stopped at that time as you both drowned in each other eyes, like in every romantic movie that you always watch when you were fourteen. The butterfly seems to be joyfully flying on your stomach as both of you drowned in conversation that night. Starting from there, you and Mingyu then spent time together a lot. 

Then it must become a question if you were so happy with him then why are you feeling insecure? 

Here is the thing, working in the Korean pop industry you know a lot. And by mean a lot, sometimes know everything without having to ask. You know how every celebrity goes on date without the fans and media knowing, how they act when the camera was not around them, and furthermore. Working with so many idols from different agencies, making you and your team talk about everything that happened. And Mingyu is one of the hot topics that your coworker always talked about. 

How they could not, Mingyu is the perfect package that every girl wanted. Do you want someone tall and bulky? Mingyu got it. Do you want to wake up with the view of your boyfriend cooking breakfast and shirtless in your kitchen the next morning after you have a date? Mingyu could do it. Or do you want to have a boyfriend who understands you and knows you more than you know yourself? Well, Mingyu is the one. 

It is not a secret that everyone loves Mingyu since also he is an optimistic guy that radiates positive energy to people around him. As someone who works behind the stage, it was also not a secret for you that some girls from any group or even solo artists are enchanted by Mingyu's charismatic energy. So when most of them know that you become close to Mingyu and had some projects with his group, Seventeen, the girls don’t hesitate to ask you to introduce them to him. You did, but in the end, Mingyu asked you to stop doing that since the person he wanted to get to know more is you. 

As your relationship become grow more intense than just friends who spent time together a lot to become a lover, you start digging more about him. Thankfully, you have a wonderful team that told you anything about Mingyu. Well, not talk bad about him, more like his history and other related. You then learn that Mingyu turns out already has two exes and one of them is working in the same industry as him. Your insecurity was risen by thousands as you then learned that the ex that works in the same industry as him is no other than Lisa Manoban, the Black Pink maknae. 

You’ve worked with Lisa before for few times and you could tell that she is a living angel. If you could describe her in three words they will be cheerful, kind, and gorgeous. She’s dropped-dead gorgeous. But she’s known as someone who is private and has high professionalism. 

If you look back again, you realized that Lisa is the female version of your boyfriend. 

You and Mingyu never talk deeply about his past relationship with Lisa, but you know that they dated for almost three years which you are pretty shocked because you were never taught that the relationship can be perfectly hidden for such a long time. What you learn from Mingyu is that they broke up because they start to grow distant due to their job schedule. He also told you that they broke up on good terms and they still be friends. 

Many of your best friends think you must be jealous of the relationship that Lisa and Mingyu had especially after knowing about their past relationship. But you assure them, that you are fine with it because it’s part of adulting. 

However, you start to feel that you are not fine when the thoughts of your boyfriend don't love you as they used to start to haunt you. More likely the thought of your boyfriend seems not entirely moved on from his ex. You know it’s normal especially when you dated Mingyu seven months after he broke up. This made sense since you read once that mostly after break up, a man starts to realize that he didn’t move on yet from his past in the six months after the breakup. 

Also, you may not have the thoughts if something did not happen. 

First, it started as a little shadow. You remembered very well it was last month when you accidentally look at your boyfriend's phone screen as you feel it vibrating beside you. While Mingyu went to the kitchen to get more popcorn for both of you, he left his phone on the sofa which landed beside you. Your eyes caught what was on the screen and you realize that it was room chat between him and Lisa. Turned out Lisa just missed calling Mingyu and not after that there was another message from her. 

Lisa 

23.30

I’m scared, what if something happened? Can you please come here? 

“Alright, let’s continue the movie, jagi.” 

Mingyu's voice already broke you down as he made his way back to beside you. You quickly turn your gaze to the television before you press the play button on the remote. There are thousands of thoughts running through your mind right now. Why was Lisa calling you Mingyu this late? Why did she ask Mingyu to go to her house at this moment? 

But what strikes you the most was turned out all this time when you focusing watch the movie on the television, Mingyu stole some time to chat with Lisa. You know that it’s childish to be upset about it, but you can’t help it. Sighing slowly, you hold yourself up. Maybe Lisa needs Mingyu's help and she was in a dangerous situation when no one could help her. You know the most that Mingyu doesn’t want to make people disappointed or felt alone. 

“Are you okay, baby?” Mingyu looked at you with more concern, and his arms wrapped around your shoulder, bringing you closer to his body. 

Smiling, you peck his cheeks to assure him that you are fine. When you have a thousand thoughts in your head. “I’m good, just suddenly think about work.” 

“You shouldn’t think about it when you're with me, baby.” he pouted before kissing your head. “This is why we have a movie night, remember? Just you and me, with love, not stress.” 

You just smirked at his words and nodded. Looked at your response, Mingyu just grinning and softly pushed your head with his free hand, so it can be rested on his shoulder as he holds your tight. 

“I love you so much, you know that?” he muttered to your head before kissing it again. 

“I know, I love you too.” 

“So much?”

“So much, baby.” 

Then for the rest, both of you just enjoy the movie tangled to each other. As your mind started to peaceful condition, your eyes slowly close halfway through the movie. The strokes of Mingyu's hands on your hair made you slowly drift to sleep. When you are about to get into a deep sleep you feel Mingyu’s phone start to vibrate for few times. Not only that you can also feel his right finger typing on his phone screen. You just drop it off and let the sleep take care of you. 

But the sleep turned out only last for a few hours because you were woken up by the wet feeling on your forehead. Opening your eyes for just a little and between the blurriness, you could see Mingyu strokes your hair for few times before he left you alone in his bed. You closed your eyes, not moving for the next half hour. Your eyes then looked to the digital clock on Mingyu's desk to find turns out it was two in the morning which was two hours after you drifted to sleep on Mingyu's shoulder. 

His apartment was too quiet for you and by that, you slowly rose from his bed then opened the door slowly. 

You slowly walked to the living room and found it was quiet and dim since the only lights that turned on were only the small light near the window. Your head turned to the kitchen which has an open concept, and you found it still neat and dark. A sigh left your mouth slowly as your cold feet made their way to Mingyu's office which was not too far from the living room. After walking slowly, you finally reached the door which was closed. Your hands slowly turned the knob but you did not find any trace of your boyfriend in the office either. 

With empty hands, you just walked back to his bedroom but your walk stopped as you realize that Mingyu's phone laying above the cold marble of the coffee table in the living room. Sighing, you took his phone and brought it with you to his bedroom. Seems like sloppy is still Mingyu's middle name. He always forgets about his phone when he was in a hurry which results in you calling his manager and telling him to pick it up. 

The door of Mingyu's master bedroom is closed and you make your way back to the bed to get some sleep. As you put Mingyu's phone on his wireless charger that is placed on his nightstand, the screen lights up. Narrowing your eyes to adjust the light, you saw that it was a new chat from Lisa.

Lisa

2.00

Just get it when you come, the pin is still the same. 

There was nothing bigger than your curiosity that night. You really wanted to know what they talked about. Mingyu and you know the boundaries about each other privacy but you both also don’t mind if one of you just want to use your phone because in the end if something was off you just talk about it like every adult does. Tonight, however, you just really to know what they talked at least to make you calm your noisy curiosity in your mind.  So, you decided to know the full version because you just don’t want to have another thought or even the worst thoughts that could make a huge impact on your relationship. 

Turned out the message between them two was growing more… intense? You learned that Mingyu accepted the offer that Lisa previously asked him which you already read earlier. You also learned that turns out Mingyu visited her yesterday before he went home. The funny thing is that it was the same time when he told you that he went to groceries to get some ingredients for him to cook. 

You just standing frozen and staring at the screen. Inside your mind, you were battling with yourself. Should you see the full chat of them to make sure that they didn’t do the last thing that you hoped? Or should you just cool it off and just be okay with it? But is it normal to act like nothing happened when your boyfriend visits his ex without bothering to tell you? 

So the heart won, and you decided to let it go and just bury yourself in the thick blanket that has Mingyu scents over it. As you landed on the perfectly comfortable bed of Kim Mingyu and were ready to get more sleep, your eyes didn’t corporate with you. Either it’s because of the coffee you had this afternoon or maybe the strange feeling that was caused by the winning of your heart, you didn’t realize that you’ve been tossing around for hours. Your eyes closed briefly but your mind was busy as hell. It was like a playground, with a lot of screaming, yelling, and storming mixed in one place which was in your mind. 

You opened your eyes and find out it was already four in the morning. Sighing you grabbed your phone and play your social media to distract your mind. But as you heard the sound of the main door opening, you put back your phone and close your eyes. You pretended to sleep as you heard the master bedroom door open. Not so long after that, you heard the sound of the shower running, then ten minutes later you feel arms wrapped around your waist and Mingyu's soft breath on the back of your neck. 

And so after what happened that night, you never asked Mingyu where he went or what was the reason why he left you alone for two hours. Mingyu also did not tell you about it, so you just let go of it even when you feel an unknown and strange feeling in your heart. 

You choose to ignore it. 

But you know you couldn't help to hope that it will be the first and the last time Mingyu did that. You kind of wish that Mingyu will just tell you about it without you having to ask first. On another side, you also know that his intention was just to give a hand to help Lisa. It was no secret for you and Mingyu that your boyfriend is such a people pleaser and sometimes you told him that he has to endure it. You know that he has a pure intention to help, not only Lisa but most people that asked him for help. 

The worst part is that the feeling and thoughts that you’ve been avoiding kept chasing you, especially when you realize that Mingyu almost spent his time off with Lisa. Mingyu still spent his time with you, but other than you and his groupmates, he spent more time with her. Usually, they went out alongside the 97 groups that you know.  Mingyu as a caring boyfriend explains to you that Lisa is currently homesick and since she couldn’t back to Thailand in a short time, she feels lonely. By that Mingyu told you that he and his 97 groups try to cheer her up. 

You try to be okay with it and pretend that it was not big deal. But eventually, the reality woke you up. The first thing that made you realize is that you and Mingyu slowly rarely meet each other or have dates like you used to have. Besides that the communication between you is also not more than asking about each other doing and activities. It just feels like you are back to the first stage. It was strange because usually no matter busy you are or he is, both of you will have your way to meet each other such as going home to your or his place, having a breakfast date or even just having a quick coffee run in the middle of your lunch break. You knew that during that time, Seventeen also have a flexible schedule since they just finished their world tour and awards season. 

You never thought that it will be a big storm after calming night. 

---

“So, are you gonna tell him?” 

Your head looks up and finds your boss, Suhoon, leaning at your door with arms crossed. Your lips slowly turned to smile as you leaned into your chair while Suhoon walk towards you with both of his hands in the pocket of his pants. Above your glass desk, there was a piece of paper in your grip. Your grip on the paper starts to loosen as you look at it with a blank expression. 

On your hold, the letter of scholarship acceptance in New York City for your postgraduate program was laid and you don’t seem happy at all. It was supposed to be a jolly night when the letter came when you are supposed to be celebrating your acceptance for the study program that you worked for about a year. You should celebrate it with your loved one, but here you are feeling empty. 

“YN,” Suhoon calls you softly. “You seem lost, are you okay?”

You nod, still looking at the paper that you held. Suhoon who knows you for more than five years, let out a sigh and you know he didn’t buy any of your response. 

“Don’t lie, tell me what happened.” 

“Just some issues,” you answer slowly.

“With Mingyu?”

Your right hand previously rubs the paper that you hold. Lifting your head slowly, your eyes then met with his brown ones that have been staring at you. 

“What’s happening?” Suhoon narrows his eyes before taking sit on one of the chairs in front of your desk. 

“I don’t know,” you say, with a low tone. 

Suhoon sighs and rubs his temple slowly. Working as your boss for the past six year makes Suhoon knows about you more than everyone in the office. Besides the fact that you regularly spent more time with him in the past to get your job done, you also hung out with him a lot. It made you become his litter sister that he always dream of. For Suhoon, you are one of the strongest women that he knows so far besides his mother and his wife. 

Being the last child of the kids in the family and with your family living overseas, makes you grow up alone and used to being alone. Suhoon even didn’t understand why you choose to live alone in Seoul and work hard while you can enjoy living in Europe with your family and work as you wanted. 

Little you didn’t know, Suhoon knows you are a fighter, but not for love. 

“YN,” Suhoon whispers. “Please just tell me, maybe I can help you.” 

“Is it normal for a man to visit her ex at two in the morning while his girlfriend sleeps in his apartment? Is it normal that I don’t want my boyfriend to spend more time with his ex? Is it normal for me to feel sad when my boyfriend even forgets about the scholarship that we kept talking about for months? ” 

Hearing your question, Suhoon looks up and his jaw drops. But different from him, you just sit there and didn’t have any expressions that show your true feelings. Suhoon clenched his fist and sighs as he realized who you talking about. All he wants to do right now was to punch Kim Mingyu in the face, but he know he couldn't do that. 

Because you love that bastard so much. 

“Oppa,” you call him softly. “I don’t want to move to New York, just because I need to run away from someone in here.” 

“You know you don’t have to,” Suhoon tells you. “You could just pick a great uni in here and you could move on.” 

“But..”

“YN,” Suhoon stands from his seat. “You are YN, one of the best fighters that I know, and one thing I know for sure is that you fight your ass up to finally achieve all this, to achieve the scholarship that you want since you are in your freshman year in college. You deserved to have a life like what you deserved.” 

“And what kind of life that I deserved?” 

Suhoon sighs again before looking into your eyes. “The life that made you realize that you have to let go of the person that you love, so then both of you can be better.  The life that could give you all the love that you deserved after a long journey.” 

You nod your head and open your mouth to speak further but then it was interrupted as you hear your and Suhoon's phone vibrates. Without thinking twice, you grab your phone and Suhoon too. Turns out it was one of your team who send messages in the work group chat of your team. 

DISPATCH 

UPDATE: SEVENTEEN’S KIM MINGYU AND LISA OF BLACKPINK SPOTTED BACK TOGETHER AND KISSED?! FIND OUT MORE [LINK] 

As you read the headline, your fingers start to tremble. Not after you read that, your coworker sent you the photos of them. Your eyes look to four photos that are being sent on the group chat. It was them, it was them.  The height difference, the broad shoulder of your boyfriend, and even the cap. The baseball cap that you gave him six months ago. Your thumbs just hover over the screen as you look at the final photo which showed that your boyfriend grabs his ex's waist and kissed her on the lips. What is so funny is that in the article it said that they kissed on November 19th, the day of your anniversary. 

You could feel your world start to crumble. Your hands couldn't grasp your phone anymore, and your eyes were blurred by your tears. The phone falls back to the carpet and you can see that there is someone calling you and you know who. 

Without you realizing it, Suhoon grabs you and hugs you tight. Your head leans to his chest as tears start to stream down your cheek. You feel numb, you feel like you cannot do something, and Suhoon keeps whispering some words to you that you couldn't point at the moment. 

It was like Suhoon hugging a mannequin. But that’s what you feel even when your head was in a chaotic situation. 

Your body is in pain like you were just falling from the highest building on earth to the lowest ground. Tears cannot stop streaming from your eyes, you wanted to scream but then you were just too hurt to do anything. 

--

You used to don’t know what is worse than going home with a drunk head. 

But now you know the answer. The answer is that going back home to your apartment with your non-stop ringing phone and a broken heart. Your heart begins to pound and your head is ready to be blown up any second. After Dispatch release the photo, Suhoon insisted to drive you back home, and using the privilege of being your boss, you accepted his offer. 

On the way back to your apartment, your eyes just focused on the view outside of the car. Your body leaned to Suhoon's leather car sit as he drove beside you. Your cold hands grip your bag as you keep telling yourself to not cry in front of Suhoon. Suhoon who drove the car just let the atmosphere become cold and quiet. He knows that the last thing you need is him bickering and asking how you feeling when he already knows the answer. As his Mercedes-Benz reached your apartment complex, you mutter thank you but you avoid his eyes. 

Before you step out of his car, Suhoon's hand holds your cold ones and makes you turn your head to look at him. There were ten until twenty seconds of silence before he told you that he is one call away if you need anything and the only response that he got from you was only a nod. 

Still, in your clothes, you are now sprawled out in your bed. Your bag was not too far from you, as you can see that the sky become darker in minutes. Your phone still ringing and you know who try to contact you. You just start blankly at the sky as it becomes darker and darker, while your mind was screaming. You don’t know which was hurt since it was too painful. 

Deep down, you know what makes you hurt the most and it was yourself.

If only you know that the man that you love still loves his past, maybe you are not in this position now. You could just live happily and he can do that too. So, you wonder again, is this how the universe trying to tell? With you being Mingyu's girlfriend, make them realize that their love was stronger than ever. Was the universe send you to him, so he can realize how much his love for her?

You wanted to scream.

You wanted to yell to the universe. 

But all you do now is just lie in your bed as tears slowly left your eyes. It feels like you are dying slowly. The pain was too hurtful to bear, to at least make you furious. You just feel…numb and stupid. Stupid because you know it will happen and you don’t stop yourself to get hurt. 

Slowly you turned your head to your bag that sprawled not too far from you. Your eyes stare at it for a few seconds, before you let out a sigh and slowly sit on your bed as you reach for your bag to get an item. Your hand took your phone from your bag and again for the nth time, you take a long deep breath before your phone screen lights up. 

There were some missed calls and new messages that spammed your notification. Of course, most of them were from Mingyu and the rest was from your best friends and all member of Seventeen. Your best friends asked where you were and how are you holding up after the news. From your notification, you can read how they are yelling at each other and how they want to fight Mingyu at the moment. 

Besides your best friends, all members from Seungcheol and Chan also asked about your well-being and asking where you were. You get the most message from Seungcheol and Seungkwan who are pretty close to you. From their message, you can feel their worry about you. 

Then the last you read how your boyfriend handle the situation that was caused by him, well accidentally caused by him. Mingyu has missed calling you about thirty times, and most of his messages were telling you that he can explain what’s happening, asking where you were, and he told you that he was on his way to your office so you can go home with him. It was roughly five minutes when you arrived at your apartment. 

Either it’s because your job to handle some crisis or it was too painful that makes you numb, you sigh and write a message to him. 

To: Mingoo ❤️‍🔥

21.00

I’m fine and I’m already back at my apartment since five minutes ago. I think I need time alone to calm myself, please.

So you just hit the send button before turning off your phone. You don’t know what to do, and for the first time in your life, you don’t know what you should do. It hurts every corner of your body, and you just want to sleep it off, hoping the nightmare was gone when you woke up in the morning. 

Maybe it is a good idea for you, to clean your make-up, has a hot shower, and then sleep. 

Rising from the bed, you slowly take off your coat and put it on your chair before moving to your wardrobe. Heck, you even couldn’t walk properly. Besides the fact that it hurts every inch of your body, your mind still can’t function properly. Like your mind was torn into some parts that are buried in different yet deep places inside of you. What made it worse is that you don’t have enough energy to look for each piece and fix it like it used to. 

Deep down you cursed yourself. 

You knew it will happen, but why didn’t do anything?

Why were you just peacefully sitting there while you know it will make you hurt? 

There were so many questions you asked yourself, but you couldn't answer one of them yet. You wonder what Mingyu truly feels, was he mean it when he says that he loves you? Was it coming from his heart, or it was just to convince himself that he loves you more than Lisa? 

You cannot lie to yourself that you didn't love him because hell you love him more than you love yourself. You realized it when it was already two months after you have the first date with him, you know it was such a short time for you to admit that you love him. Heck, you won’t be this painful if you don’t love him. 

As your hand takes some shirts from your wardrobe, your eyes then focused on a black box that is perfectly hidden between your shirts. Without realizing it, your hands slowly grab the box. Tears start to gather in your eyes as you realize what was inside the box.

It was supposed to be Mingyu birthday present. 

You remembered very well how you secretly contact so many people as you looked for the jacket that Mingyu always talks about. You remember very well how Mingyu talks about it and sadly said to you that jacket was discontinued. It’s a simple black jacket with the hoodie on, but there were some details on the pocket that made it look chic, which made it suit Mingyu. And luckily you find the jacket in his size. 

You are the type that has a hard time keeping everything in secret. So, keeping your gift from Mingyu is a very big challenge for you. It is also the reason why you hid it deep inside your wardrobe. Walking towards your bed with the box on, you keep glancing at the box before you open it. 

The jacket was still there, neatly packed with some white tuile to protect it from any dirt. Above the jacket, there was an envelope that has not been closed. You decided to open it and realize that it was a letter that you wrote alongside three polaroids of you and Mingyu. On the first polaroid was you and Mingyu who stares at each other with big smile and so much love in each gaze. Mingyu arms are wrapped securely around yours, as your right hand were on his chest. You realized that it was the photo that you took when you visit his family for Chuseok and the polaroid was taken by his sister as the three of you enjoying the evening view from Mingyu’s balcony. 

In the same place as the first one, the second photo has the same background but it has differences. In the second photo, Mingyu looked at the view while you look at him with so much love in your eyes. His arms are still wrapped around you but your hands, not his chest. And the last one was the polaroid of you wrapped around each other at Wonwoo's birthday dinner. Smiles were wide on your and Mingyu’s lips.  

Seeing those pictures made you miss Mingyu more. It feels like you just want to run to his arms and beg him to stay. But all of your thought was ripped as your eyes focused on the second picture. It made you wonder if that is how your and Mingyu’s life could be if you just let all of this go. You know that by loving someone, you also need them to be happy. 

Those big smiles that you secretly found on Mingyu's lips several times as he typed something on his phone, or the times when you look at his happy expression as Chan danced to one of Lisa’s songs in their fan meeting has made you realize something. Maybe letting Mingyu go, will make him find his happiness which is on Lisa. 

Yes, you will be hurt. 

Yes, it’s gonna take a long time to heal it. 

But you know that you could not make Mingyu happy. You love Mingyu and he loves you, but you know that his love for Lisa is bigger than what both of you have right now. You are not blind, you clearly can see it in his eyes and how acts. 

You know it’s time for you to leave and stop being in the middle of two people that fall in love. 

And so by that, your body collapses on your bed as tears stream around your eyes. You try to scream but you can’t because it is just too painful. It was too painful for you to let the person that you love the most go and back to his happiness. 

But you know, sooner or later it will be more painful to see him pretending to be happy when he’s not. It will be more painful to finally realize that you could not make him happy. 

You realized, right now is the perfect time for you to leave. 

---

Seungcheol

19:00

He just left the dorm, on the way to his apartment. Are you there? Please be safe, call me if you need anything.  

Your eyes look at your phone screen. Reading back to the message that Seungcheol sent to you fifteen minutes ago, you sigh slowly and lean into the chair. You tighten your hands as you mentally prepare for what you want to talk about. Turning your head to see the view outside, you realize that it was already snowing. It’s the perfect time for you to play with some snow and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate. Your mind traces back to the memories of when you used to play in the snow outside with your brother while your mom told you to go back before you catch a cold. 

Speak of your brother, you missed him. You missed having him around you, you missed how you can talk for hours about all your problems with him, and you missed how he hugs you to assure you that you are safe. Those warm hugs that keep you calm in the middle of the storm. 

Maybe after all of this is finished, you will back home and call your brother right away. 

“YN?”

Your head turns to where the voice has called your name softly.  The voice was too familiar for you. Standing not far away from you, Mingyu looks at you with his mouth half open. Your eyes meet his and you can see that he looks fresher than ever. Mingyu walks slowly towards you with his eyes still on you while you raise for your sit. 

“Baby,”

Please don’t call me that, you beg silently in your mind. 

You try to keep your tears in place but your mind betrays you. A tear left your eyes as you sadly smile at him. The mixed feeling that you got as you look at him after two days of radio silence was so overwhelming. Deep down all you want to do was bury yourself in his warmness, but you know you couldn't do that. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Mingyu whispers before he walks to you and hugs you tight. As his arms wrapped around you, your arms just stay in the position. You didn’t hug him while he hugs you like there is no day for tomorrow. Tears flow down your cheek as you also can feel a wet feeling on your hair. Indeed, both of you cry. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Mingyu whispers again and again before he looks into your eyes. “We can fix everything right? I love you,” 

I love you too, but I know you love her more. 

You just stare at him blankly. His brown eyes with so many worries as you try to memorize them closely. The moles on his nose, his puppy eyes, every detail of Mingyu that you know will be missed. Especially those lips. Gosh, those plumpy lips that kissed you with so much love and passion. Those lips that give your head and cheek pecks whenever you are wrapped around his arms.

“Mingyu-ah,” you take a deep breath before looking straight into his eyes. You realize how his eyes widened as you call him by his name instead of the nicknames that you always used. Not Gyu, baby, babe, loves, chagi, but just Mingyu. “I-I think we need to talk about it, about us.” 

Mingyu looks at you like he knows what will you talk about. Lowering his gaze before letting out a sigh, he then nods slowly before sitting on the sofa. You sit beside him, giving space between both of you. For a few seconds, there was huge silence between you, as you glued your eyes to your hands that were on your lap. You still don’t have any guts to look at Mingyu back but you know he was looking at you. 

“Before we talk,” Mingyu’s husky voice ripped the silence. “Can I hold your hand?”

Still lowering your head, you nod at him and take his hands to yours. Now in your sight, you can see clearly how your hands holding his right hand. The difference with your cold hands, his hand was warmer and it makes you hold it with both of your hands. But the warmth of his hand also pulls you to the reality where you have to talk about it right now. 

Mentally prepare yourself for the second time, you take a deep breath before asking, “It was true, wasn’t it?” 

“Chagi,” 

“Please don’t lie and cover it up,” you mumble to him. “I need the truth.”

There was firmness that Mingyu felt in your tone and he knows you already know something. Something that is cruel and has been hurting you. None like other people who punch him in the face, you just sat there beside him and still held his hands. 

“Yes,” Mingyu weakly answer. 

“Does she knows about us?” you ask. As the question left your mouth, you prepare yourself for his answer next. You were silently thankful that you are holding his hand because it was a distraction so you don’t have to look into his eyes. 

“No,” your thumb that slowly caresses his hands suddenly stops. 

You were frozen as you heard his answer. Among all the problems, it was one thing that made you feel like just being punched by someone in every inch of your body. But then again, your thoughts just laugh at you, knowing it will be happening. You should have known this. Why did Mingyu bother to let Lisa knows about your relationship with him when he was still in love with her? Stupid you. 

It made you realize too that your relationship with Mingyu was being hidden pretty well like how you hid the black box in your wardrobe. 

A tear escapes from your eyes and touches his hands. Feeling the wetness of it, Mingyu becomes a little bit tense and you can feel it from his hands. Cursing yourself for letting the tears out, you just nod. You just nod like it was a normal thing that you heard every day when it was not at all. 

“I think we should end here, Mingyu.” 

As the sentences left your mouth, Mingyu straighten his body but not pulling his hand from yours. You know that your sentence must be shocked him because it honestly shocked you too. 

But you don’t have any better choice. 

“Y-YN…”

“Let’s end whatever we have in here, Mingyu.” 

This time you look into his eyes. There was no trace of stars or even love that you used to see before. His eyes scream confusion, fear, and any of it that you never imagine seeing in his beautiful eyes. While your eyes screams pain and tears welled up, your lips however tugged a beautiful smile. It hurts you too, more than anything.  

“Chagi, no.” Mingyu shakes his head and holds your hands with his. His voice becomes tremble as you can see tears in his eyes. “No, we can fix this, please, I-I-I love you… I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be this far, I swear. W-we can talk about it, I tell her now about us and--” 

You lower your head and shake your head slowly. “There is nothing we can do, Mingyu.” 

“B-But I love you!” His hold on your hands becomes tighter as his voice increased. Yet, you still lowered your head and avoided his eyes. “P-Please, just let’s talk about it and I swear… gosh… I swear to start to forget everything about her. Please just… stay.”

“I can’t,” you look at him. “You love her, Mingyu, you still love her and I can see it clearly in your eyes. Even if we fix whatever it is, it can hurt us, it can hurt you even more.” 

There is a pause between both of you, and as Mingyu doesn’t reply to your last sentence, you take a deep breath before continuing. 

“I don’t want to do this either,” you chuckle softly. “But I cannot force the person who I love to stay with me because I know it will hurt them, it will hurt you. You deserve to be with someone that you love, Mingyu. You deserved to live and earn that happiness, even when it does not come from me.” 

Mingyu lowered his head before you could see his shoulder shake. You know he cries and it hurt you too. Without knowing it too, you also silently cry. Both of you still held each other hands, but both of you also drowned in the cries. Looking up, you sniffle and without thinking twice you pull Mingyu into your arms. In seconds his arms make their way to hug you and you can feel that he still softly cries on your neck. 

“I’m not mad at you for loving her, Mingyu,” you say softly as your hands threads his soft hair. “Because you have the right to love the person that you want and you deserve that. You deserve to be happy with someone you love and I don’t want to hold you from that. You still have me on your back, whenever you need me... I’m just call away even when I’m not yours or the otherwise. I love you, and let me love you with my way from now, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu looks up. You can feel how your heart broke as you look into his glassy eyes. “I’m sorry I used you, YN.” 

You shake your head. “No, you’re not, Mingyu.”

“But I am,” he sighs. “I took you for granted… gosh I used you as my rebound, YN. I used your love to heal my feeling, then I just run away from you by bringing your heart with me. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey.” you softly call Mingyu and make him look straight into your eyes. “It’s okay, I will be okay, Mingyu.”

“But I hurt you the most,”

“You are worth it,” you sadly smile. “You are worth the pain that I have, Kim Mingyu.”  

--- 

The street was… emptier than usual. 

It was around eleven o’clock when Kim Mingyu’s Range Rover slid through above Gangnam streets. As his left hand was on the wheel and his eyes focused on the road, his right hand was nestled on your hand. Your eyes are glued to the outside view as you lean on the leather seat. Between both of you, the silence was thickly lingering which was different from the usual. Usually, at this hour, you and Mingyu were nestled in each other arms on his bed or having some karaoke car night as you both went to some fast food restaurant. 

But tonight, it was different. 

There was a box of your clothes in the back seat. Clothes that you purposely put on Mingyu's wardrobe. You decided to take them all with you back to the place they were from tonight. Alongside your clothes, your heart also comes with you tonight as you put back Mingyu’s back into his hand. 

After your talk, Mingyu insisted to drive you home. You declined the offer at first, saying that you just take a taxi and you don’t want to make him go back pretty late. Deep down, you just don’t want to be in the same car with Mingyu, especially in the car that always accompanies your date with him. 

“I know it's selfish, but let me just…drive you back for the last time. I just want to spend more time with you as… a lover, before today ends.” 

You sigh as you look at Mingyu's expression as he told you the real reason why he insisted to drive you back. To be fair, you have the same wish as him but you buried it as the thoughts came to your mind. Looking at his lost blank expression, you then finally accept his offer. But as Mingyu look at the box that was filled with your clothes, he was frozen. As you mention to him that you are ready, Mingyu sadly smiles at you before grabbing the box. 

“C-Can I hold your hand? Please?”

As Mingyu steps into his car after closing your door, Mingyu looks at you. You look at him with a blank expression before nodding. This time, Mingyu pulls your hand to his as he starts to drive. After that, both of you just drowned in each other thoughts. 

You don’t know what’s on his mind, but you do know very well about yours. If someone asks you about what you feel right now, you honestly don’t know what to answer. Not only you were tired, but you just don’t know where to start to explain it. You love Mingyu and you never expect to be in this situation where it forced you to let him go. But here you were, sitting on the passenger seat of Mingyu's car and holding his hands while you can feel yourself starting to lose yourself. 

“We are here, love.” 

Blinking your eyes, you realize that both of you are already in your apartment block parking lot. You take a deep breath, before nodding and taking off the seat belt. Mingyu’s driver seat door was just open as you call his name softly and tighten your hold on his hands. Not three seconds, Mingyu turns his head and finds that you still sit in your seat with glassy eyes that look forward. 

“Mingyu-ah,” you take a deep breath before looking at him. “I’m sorry.”

Hearing you apologize, Mingyu frowns at you before sighing. But as he open his mouth and was ready to speak, you cut him off by continuing, “I know I should fight for us, but I don’t think I could…I don’t know if I can be strong enough in the future and I don’t want to trap you in the relationship that holds you from your happiness.”

“Oh, love--”

“I love you, Mingyu,” you say between your tears, tightening your hold on his hands. “This past year was… pleasant to have you in my life. Thank you for making my life more…happy and colorful with your love. Thank you for loving me even when I’m at my lowest, and thank you for always being there. I’m glad that I met you and am yours.”

“YN,” 

“Don’t cry,” you sadly smile and wipe his tears with your thumb. “Please don’t make it harder, Gyu.” 

“I’m sorry,” he says between his tears. “Gosh, I love you… I do, YN, please believe me that. I’m sorry for this happening to you, I’m sorry that I can’t move from my past, YN. Sorry for seeing you as her.”

“Hey look at me,” you cup his face with both of your hands and look him forward with your glassy eyes. ”It’s not your fault, okay? Don’t blame yourself because you falling in love with someone. Mingyu. I’m glad you have her in your life, I do, and I know that you can do so much better and happier with her. I know you can love and protect her more than me, Mingyu. I know that.” 

“But I hurt you, YN!” Mingyu snaps. “You, the person that put your heart into me, the one that always sees me even when no one does, the person that taught me so much, the person that I suppose to love only and--”

Without any word, you pressed your lips to him. For the last time, please. The kiss feels different while there are nothing changes. You still can feel the softness of Mingyu's lips, the mint flavor, and the feel of his hand grasping your neck softly. Physically nothing changes but mentally everything changes. You know after this kiss and after you left him, there will be no us between both of you. 

There will be no YN and Minyu as a couple. There will be no more nights spent in each other arms, no more late-night calls when Mingyu is overseas, no more Mingyu who accompany you working late in your living room, and no more sweet kisses from Kim Mingyu. 

You are all alone again. 

“I love you,” you whisper as you broke the kiss. “I will always love you, even when you are someone else’s.” 

Mingyu nods and closes his eyes. “I love you too, YN YLN, always and I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry too…” you nod. “Goodbye, Kim Mingyu.”

And so you take a deep breath before letting go of his grasp. Wiping your tears, you mentally support yourself to get a little bit stronger at least until you are already secure in your apartment. You smile at him before you pull the door open. Tighten your hold on your coat, you then go to the back seat to take the box. You don’t want to bother Mingyu who seems lost and still in his seat as so take the box and close the door.

Before walking to your apartment's main door, you wave your hands at him as he stares at you blankly. Without wanting more time, you just walked to the door as tears streamed down your cheek. You hold the box tight as you silently cry. The pain was stronger than before until it make you cannot walk properly but you force yourself because you don’t want Mingyu sees you like that. 

Don’t turn your back. 

Don’t look at him again. 

Just walk and cry, YN. 

“YN,” 

You heard Mingyu calls your name and make you stop walking. Betraying your mind for the nth time, you turn your body to look at him. Mingyu stood all 187 cm, and the dark navy coat that has a grey collar that he wore perfectly shaped his body. His eyes were red and swollen same as yours. 

“Thank you,” pause. “Thank you for letting me love her.” 

Smiling at him, you just nod while your heart cries loudly. You then walk inside your apartment building, leaving him back in his car. As you wait for the elevator, tears cannot stop leaving your eyes. The pain was too painful to bear with it, and it made you realize that you are alone now, without Mingyu. 

---

“So, did you tell him?” 

You look up from your phone before turning your head to Suhoon who sits beside you.  The departure from Incheon Airport was empty when you arrived. Cold morning breeze haunts your skin even when you are already protected by your thick Burberry coat. Today is the day when you will be leaving for New York and Suhoon alongside his wife was accompany you tonight like how your parents do every time you leave Europe. 

Heck, you were even already in the airport six hours before check-in opened. 

You shake your head for the answer to his question. Instead of giving you long lectures, Suhoon just stares at you before slowly nods. He knows that maybe it was the best decision and he believes you have your own reason why you didn’t tell Mingyu about your departure. It’s been a month since the breakup, and Suhoon already noticed some changes in your life that mostly you don’t want to discuss it. He is thankful for the scholarship because of it most of his time was being used to process some documents for your departure. But Suhoon cannot cover the fact that he is also sad because he lost the happy version of you, the colorful version of you. 

Suhoon who knows you for years even shocked too by the way how you calm and managed to survive the pain that he knows hurts you the most. Yes, he did see you cry. Yes, he noticed how your eyes looked puffy when you walked to the office. But with you sitting beside him, Suhoon just sees any trace of peace and calmness on your face. 

“What happened if one day he come to me and asked where were you?”

You sigh, then look down. “Just tell him where I’m, it is okay.”

“Why?” Suhoon furrows. “Most of the people I know that have the same case as yours, most of them didn’t let the person who hurts them know where they were. But why are you just letting him know your whereabouts?”

“Because it means, you already have peace with it, oppa,” you explain. “I love Mingyu, and I already know the fact that his love now is for Lisa, not me. If we really meant to be together, there will be thousands of ways that make us back to each other. But if not, then we just really need to let go or else we get hurt more.” 

“Will you miss him?” 

“Of course,” you smirk. “But it’s part of letting go of someone you love”

You know you will be missing Mingyu and in fact, you are missing Mingyu. There is no day you didn’t think about him, about what he does at the moment. But you know that it was not your name that was on his heart right now, and you try to make a peace with yourself for it. Let go of someone that you love is… tough, but forcing someone who stays and loves you while his heart is already placed in someone else is tougher.  

Maybe in another lifetime you and Mingyu will be together forever and you become his happiness.

But not in this current lifetime. 

How is it? I really hope you cry because I did for two days straight after writing this LOL! By the way, Part 2 is in progress and yes it will be multiple chapter and my target is finished it by next month, so please tell me more about what you feel after you read this. with much tears and loves, oppaspearl.

One Hit Wonder // Bob Floyd

Summary: Robert Floyd was a pacifist, he didn’t enjoy confrontation or anything that resembled an argument. He preferred to use logical responses and persuasive reasoning to identify situations that might not work well in his favour otherwise.

Warnings: Harassment. Mentions of pregnancy. Violence resulting in death. Bob Floyd x F!reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Author Note: Day Fifteen of Whumptober. Prompt I chose: Self Defense. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for the prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Robert Floyd was a pacifist, he didn’t enjoy confrontation or anything that resembled an argument. He preferred to use logical responses and persuasive reasoning to identify situations that might not work well in his favour otherwise. 

He wasn’t the most popular kid in high school. Sure he had his buddies, the odd teacher who’d check in on him from time to time to see how he was doing and the occasional overzealous cheerleader who’d try to wear his glasses on a dare. But the ever looming threat that was the majority of the school football and lacrosse teams still managed to shine through all Bob's weak safety nets. 

Knowing he didn’t have the constitution, the strength or the ability to protect himself against six or seven football players at any given time, Bob used his critical thinking skills and offered free tutoring for anyone who promised not to beat him up behind the quad on his way out. 

It worked in high school and all throughout university, it never seemed to phase him all that much during the Naval Academy though because everyone was there for the same reason. Every person on base had a shared interest. It didn't matter what you were eventually going to do—everyone was there for one special goal. To pass basic. So, for a while—Robert Floyd got to let his guard down. He got to just enjoy existing instead of trying to safeguard his existence.

“Is there a reason that you’re staring at me?” Bob didn't realise he’d spaced out until your voice was pulling him back from a perfectly designed world where he, of all people, got the pretty girl standing just a few metres away from him minding her own business. You were standing across the kitchen of his buddies flat. He’d just moved in and Bob was spending the weekend catching up before he was being stationed out to lemoore. 

In Bob's mind you were beautiful. He’d never seen such a beautiful woman before. And he really didn't mean to stare, but your laugh was like a siren call, calling him over to fall in love over and over and over again with the beautiful woman standing across the kitchen. 

“Do I have something on my face or is my top just a little too revealing and you have a perfect shot at my chest?” You were only being sarcastic, but it wouldn’t surprise you if the man with baby blue eyes agreed with your statement. 

But he didn’t, which was even more surprising. 

“Oh no–” Bob's eyes widened at your accusation, he felt like he couldn't breathe as he took a step backwards in a non threatening manner. “I just thought you had really nice–” Before Bob could finish his sentence, you were jumping in to finish it. 

“Tits?” 

“Eyes–” Bob corrected you immediately. He didn’t want you believing he was some sort of pervert before he even had the chance to properly introduce himself. “I think you have really nice eyes.” You had to smile to yourself a little at the sight of the obviously flustered man who stood across the small kitchen from you. He seemed harmless enough. “I’m Bob—“

“Y/n—“ It’s how the two of you met, in that dingy little apartment in that kitchen that couldn’t have fit more than three people in it at any one time. But Bob knew that you were going to be his wife someday—he didn’t know exactly how he was going to pull that trigger or how in the world he was going to get you to fall in love with him, but he knew. 

And you weren’t sure what exactly it was, but the way Bob made you feel effortlessly beautiful and naturally loved had you dropping to your knees to cup his flushed cheeks when he nervously asked you to marry him right after he got back from a mission he swore could have been his last. 

“You and the little guy are all I need.” Bob whispered against your lips when you kissed him so passionately it nearly knocked him off balance. “I love you so much, just wanna be yours till my dying days.” 

“Robert Floyd, you are my best friend, I love you so so much!” 

The wedding was set to be a pretty simple ceremony in a registry office. You didn’t want the fuss that came with a full disclosure wedding. It was supposed to be just you and Bob and your witness. Everything would have been perfect, simple and efficient. 

But then your soon to be husband was given his new posting, and that saw you and Bob packing up your lives in Lemoore to settle in North Island, where a whole new can of worms opened for the two of you. 

“You’re getting married!?” You knew it was Phoenix, Bob always spoke so highly of her. “Holy Cannoli I hope you don’t plan on going swimming with that thing on.” She teased as she took you into a warm embrace. “You’ll sink to the bottom.” 

“I’d been saving since we met.” Bob interjected as Phoenix stepped back and took in the sight of you. “We’re expecting in January, little guys coming around Y/n’s birthday.” 

“Bob—“ Phoenix cooed as you reached out to place her hand on your stomach, Natasha Trace was the first of the dagger’s to formally be introduced to you. “You never said anything.” The bird strike hit all the more harder now. Phoenix knew she carried precious cargo but now the stakes were even higher. Bob had a fiancée and a baby boy on the way. “Why didn’t you tell us, tell me?” 

“I just wanted to protect what was most important to me.” Bob answered quickly. He always kept you close to his heart, always. “Y/n here, she’s my best friend, always has been since she swore I was being a creeper.” You had to chuckle at the memory of the night the two of you first met. “But you guys, Fanboy, Rooster, Packback, Coyote—even Hangman but don’t go saying that out loud, are my family now too—and I want my family to know who’s the most important person to me.” Bob paused for a moment but both you and Phoenix knew what he was about to say before he said it. “Just in case something happens to me, you guys are gonna be her family too.” 

“We’ve got her Bob.” Phoenix cooed as she brought you in for a gentle hug once more. “It’s so  nice to meet you.” 

You had to take a second to really sink in the moment. These were the people who swore every day to protect your fiancé. These were the people he truly considered family. These were his people and in turn they were yours. And it truly sunk in as a rowdy group of men burst through the Hard Deck front doors. These were Bob's people. 

“I’m so happy to meet the woman who keeps my best friend coming home every night.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Well well well–” It was the Texan tone that gave the cock sure aviator away as he came up beside you. “I gotta say, you sure look mighty fine this evening, Mrs Floyd.” Jake cooed as he stood beside you, watching as you ran a gentle hand across your growing baby bump. 

“Thanks Hangman.” You chuckled softly as you watched your soon to be husband over at the bar with Rooster and Fanboy. He looked so happy, so full of life and excitement. “I feel like a blimp but I appreciate the compliment.” It had only been about a month or so since you had settled into your new surroundings. You and Bob would have loved to have been married by now, but the Daggers had other ideas when you had dropped the bomb on them that you were going to do an elopement style ceremony at a registry office. No fuss, no extra expenses, just the two of you and all the love you could possibly give one another. 

But here you were, at your joint Bach party that Hangman and Rooster had every so kindly set up for the long weekend. How in the hell they had managed to get the entire dagger squad the weekend off was beyond you–but nevertheless you were thankful for the experience. Even if you were pregnant in Vegas with a bunch of Naval Aviators running a muck in the casino. 

“How’s the baby on board going?” Jake asked as he hooked his arm with yours and walked with you over to the bar. 

“He feels like some fries and a virgin mango magatia if you're really wondering.” You smirked as Jake pulled out his wallet from the pocket of his jeans. He should have seen that one coming. “

“Coming right up.” Jake made sure you were situated up on the stool beside your soon to be husband before he left you to fetch your food. Bob couldn't take his eyes off you whenever you were in his proximity. He couldn't breathe at the sight of you in that bodycon dress. The white one that screamed bride to be. But the sash slung across your shoulder did that too, as did his own. Only his said Groom and wasn't as pretty on him as it was on you. 

“Hangman getting you some food baby?” Bob cooed as he kissed your cheek. 

“Yep, and my feet are killing me.” You sighed as you leaned in to rest your head on Bob's shoulder. “But I'm so glad we’re doing this, getting this opportunity.” 

“They're good people aren't they?” Bob didn't drink, but he had been nursing a rum and coke for about half an hour now. The ice had mentled and watered it down, which made it easier for him to sip on. “Reckon spuds gonna like them?” 

“Yeah, they are.” You agreed kindly as you watched Rooster and Fanboy carry on over tequila shots. “They needed this more than us, this weekend–but they did it for us.” Bob nodded as he let his hand fall to your stomach. “And yeah–Spuds gonna love them, but not as much as he’s gonna love his dad.” 

“You know husband and father were two things I thought I'd never be.” Bob admitted to you quietly as he kissed your hair on top of your head as you sat with him up at the bar, surrounded by drunk idiots ready to waste their money. “So thankyou for giving me the chance to become both.” You simply answered by picking your head up off Bob's shoulder and kissing him softly. He was the life of your life, your best friend, your life partner and father of your child. “I love you, my bride to be.” 

Robert Floyd was a pacifist, he didn’t enjoy confrontation or anything that resembled an argument. He preferred to use logical responses and persuasive reasoning to identify situations that might not work well in his favour otherwise. So as you smiled up at him and brushed his hair behind his ear, Bob was very in tune with the man off to the left of the bar who had been watching you ever since Jake had helped you waddle over. 

“You’re such a dork, I love you.” Your voice echoed around in Bob’s head as the hairs on the back of his neck stood to attention. His guy was practically undressing you with his eyes. But once again, Bob Floyd was a pacifist. So until it became a problem to worry about? There was no problem to worry about. 

“I love you more.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

“PAYBACK!” You sat at the blackjack table with wide eyes watching as the daggers cashed in their chips. “You can't be serious, that's all your money!” Bob's hand gripped at your thigh beside you, he wasn't paying with much but he had a few chips to play. 

“Yeah and I could double it, mama.” The term of endearment was something the entire squad used. You loved it, it made you feel all warm and fuzzy and accepted by your Fiance’s friends. “And if I double it I'm giving it to you and Bob for the honeymoon you two are insistent on not having.”  

“We’re gonna have a newborn man, it's not the time.” Bob sighed, he’d tried to explain it a few times before now that the timing of it all wasn't right. The two of you would save for a rainy day and once your son was a little bigger, the three of you would go on a family holiday. “Keep your money.” 

“Yeah, it's really not necessary Payback, honest.” You smiled as you got up from your seat at the black blackjack table. “I'm gonna go pee, I’ll be right back, Bob honey will you text me if you guys move?” Bob was going to ask if you wanted him to come with you, he would have asked, but he knew what the answer would be. You were fiercely independent, and even a quick trip to the bathroom alone made you feel like you could take on the world. Especially now with a whole human growing inside of you. So, Bob nodded and agreed, he didn't bother to ask. 

“Course love.” 

Bob watched as you waddled away, the love of his life, his best friend, the mother of his unborn child. You were his entire world and there wasn't a single thing on this planet he wouldn't do for you. 

“Are you excited man?” Payback asked as he counted his chips. “You're gonna be a dad, how wild is that?” 

“I'm nervous, that's for sure.” Bob sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. “But yeah–I’m excited, I'm really excited and I'm ready to be there for whatever those two ever need ever.” 

“She's one beautiful woman man i'll give you that.” Payback added. “You’re good for one another, you bring out the best in each other.” Bob knew all this already, The two of you had been together for five beautiful years. And in those five years there had been many men that had tried to take you away from him. But you always chose Bob and that gave him comfort and reassurance in his place by your side. It was your world after all and he was just happy to live in it. And as Bob caught the sight of the same man approaching you as you walked away from the blackjack table that had been lingering around you by the bar, he stood up to head after you. 

“She thought I was staring at her boobs the first night we met.” Bob added as he chuckled at the memory. It was his favourite, it was hard to beat the first time he ever laid eyes on his soon to be wife. 

“Were you?” Payback asked curiously as the dealer got ready to start the next game.” Staring at her tits?” Bob thought about it for a moment before he nodded. 

“Yeah, a little.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~

These days it was getting harder and harder to waddle around by yourself, but you enjoyed the independence of it all. You hadn’t even made it to the bathrooms before a man was approaching you on your way. You tried to avoid his eye line but even when you averted his gaze he was still honed in on you. 

“I couldn't help but to notice the sash.” He paused at your side and turned on his heels, walking with you towards the bathroom. “Getting married?” 

“Well if you noticed the sash and could read basic english you'd know the answer to that question already, wouldn't you.” You grumbled as you waddled down the hall with a hand over your bump. 

“Very true, very true.” He replied, keeping in step with your stride. “I was wondering if I could buy you a drink? Non-alcoholic unless you’re into that kinda thing.” That's when you had to stop yourself from putting one foot in front of the other just to process what exactly was going on. 

“I'm sorry, but are you trying to hit on a pregnant woman who's clearly on her bachelorette party?” You laid it out as clear as day for the man who smirked at you, he was basically undressing you with his eyes. 

“What can I say, I have a thing for pregnant women.” 

“Well I can assure you, this pregnant woman is not interested.” You hissed as you began waddling to the nearby bathroom again. “I appreciate the flattery, really, but I'm happily engaged, committed and very satisfied as you can probably see the consequences of.”  

As you tried to walk away from the man who had been following you around the casino all night reached out to grab your arm. In shock you paused and turned to frown at him. 

“Listen you little bitch I was just being fucking nice.” He hissed through gritted teeth as he leaned into your personal space. “You dont get to talk to me like that, blow me off like I’m some fucking dork.” 

“She actually has a thing for dorks man so I can assure you she would be blowing you off if she thought you were one.” Thank god Bob had followed you because right now independence was the last thing you were in search of. “Let go of my wife.” It made your heart skip a beat at the mention of you being Bob's wife. It must have just slipped in the heat of the moment but the man did as he was told. 

“You're marrying him?” The man laughed obnoxiously in your face, it was clear he was intoxicated, you could smell it on his breath and see it swirling in his eyes. 

“She is.” Robert Floyd was a pacifist, he didn’t enjoy confrontation or anything that resembled an argument. He preferred to use logical responses and persuasive reasoning to identify situations that might not work well in his favour otherwise. “So how about you back off and I'll grab you a cup of coffee, you look like you need one man.” 

“Your wife here's really pretty.” He snickered to himself as he pushed your hair behind your ear. “I could cum in my pants just thinking about all the nasty things I'd wanna do with her.” As the man looked over at Bob, you took the opportunity to slap him straight across the face. The impact echoed in the hall and even Bob felt the sting. It was a solid slap, hard enough for him to let go of your arm so that you could walk away towards where Bob stood. “You fucking bitch!” 

“I'm okay.” You reassured him. “Let's just get out of here.” 

“I've got you.” Bob cooed as he checked you over quickly with panic filled eyes. “I'm here, I've got you.” They checked over every visible part of you before he pulled you into him for a hug so loving and protective, his chin grazed the top of your head as he eyed off the man who had been harassing you. “Come near my wife again and we’re gonna have problems man, I'm not kidding, stay away from her.” 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” It must have been the bruised ego, but there was a definite switch that had been flipped inside the mind of this man you didn't even know the name of. “You mother fucker!” Bob knew this was escalating far too quickly, he needed to get you out of the way. So he turned his back on the man who was running right at him with balled fists and anger written in the wrinkles on his face. 

Robert Floyd turned his back on the danger running right at him. He couldn't offer tutoring sessions or use critical thinking skills to alter the course of the next few moments, because all he could think about was making sure he protected you. His best friend, the mother of his child. 

“Bob!” You gasped as he shoved you just enough to get you out of the way. You didn't see when Bob turned sharply to get one good and solid right hook in against the man's cheek, but he did. He got one punch–his only punch ever thrown. But to defend his wife, in self defence, Bob would do just about anything. Bradley Bradshaw had been coming out of the bathroom himself when he saw the hit play out. It was like time slowed down entirely as Bob pushed you away as gently as he could to keep you from being attacked.

“I told you to stay away from her!” Bob shouted as the man stumbled back slightly off balance. “Next time I'm not gonna ask you again pal–” His knuckles were throbbing, but Bob expected that. He’d never throw a punch in self defence before. “Go get a drink of water before I call security.” In Bob's own way, it was his way of still seeing the very good in everybody, you admired him for that. But something didn't seem right as Bob turned around to head back towards you, shaking his hand and mouthing a soft ‘Ow” your way. 

Bob had defended his family and he didn't feel sorry about it for a second, if anything he had a hard on and just wanted to get back to the hotel so he could ravage you. But Bob's single hit had done nothing but anger the man further. It didn't do much to stop the man from slamming his fist as hard as he could into the back of Bob's head. 

“Fucking cunt!” The man shouted as Bob stumbled forward and smacked his head on the corner of the wall. You wouldn't hear anything over your own screams. You couldn't see anything past the tears in your eyes and you couldn't see the man running down the hall with security right on his tail. 

But you saw the blood, the thick crimson blood that had begun to leak out of Bob's head from the impact of the hit he’d sustained. Bile rose in your throat as you sank to your knees before him as he laid on his stomach, bleeding profusely from his head. 

“Oh no–” You didn't know what to do. “Bob honey.” 

“I love you.” It was struggled, but you heard him. “I love you, my wife, my child.” 

“Bob?’ You coraked out. “Baby open your eyes.” You begged Bob as he laid skill in a pool of his own blood. “Oh god Bob no!” Panic had begun to take over your body as you tried to wake up the father of your baby boy. “Bob, open your eyes! Please baby, you're okay.” Again you tried to shake him as hands came to touch your shoulder. 

“Holy crap, Y/n–” Rooster gasped as he tried to find a pulse. “SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!” He shouted at the people now surrounding the scene in the hall. You couldn't breathe, but you could feel Bob's blood on your hands as you wiped them against your dress. 

“Baby wake up, come on you're okay, I know you are–” People don't just die like this do they? One minute they're there and the next second they’re gone. This doesn't happen right? It couldn't happen to you? Could it? “Bob, I love you, you love me, if you love me you'll wake up, you have to! You can't leave me here, not like this baby this isn't how you leave.” 

“Holy fuck what the hell happened!” Jake asked as he raced over. He was the one who pulled you back as Bradley did as he could to see if he could find a pulse. He couldn't. “Y/n, Y/n, listen to me, are you hurt? Is that your blood?” Jake frantically searched over you to see if you were bleeding, but as it turned out, it was just Bob's blood. “Bradshaw what the hell happened!?”

“He was sucker punched.” Was all Rooster said. “I dont even know if he got a shot in first but that son of a bitch fucking hit him!” 

“He was just here.” You mumbled as you shook in Jake's arms, clearly in shock. “He was just here, he can't be gone, he's just hurt.” Jake held you in his arms as you cried out for Bob, the love of your life, the father of your child and your best friend. “He cant be gone, he was just being Bob.” Jake locked eyes with Bradley as he looked over his shoulder. He shook his head, Bob wasn't breathing. 

“You're gonna be okay–” You weren't stupid. You knew that Jake had said you and not Bob, because he couldn't say Bob. He couldn't give you that hope. “We’ve got you, we promised.” Robert Floyd was a pacifist, he didn’t enjoy confrontation or anything that resembled an argument. He preferred to use logical responses and persuasive reasoning to identify situations that might not work well in his favour otherwise. 

But in this case, he did just enough to keep his family safe. The family he’d never get to see grow old.  ***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Whumptober Tags 🏷️ @xoxabs88xox @oldermenaremyreligion @slut-f0r-u u @emma-is-cool @armydrcamers @topguncortez @topgun-imagines @kmc1989 @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt

my future in your eyes

mingyu still holds onto you, even after all this time.

๑彡 kim mingyu x gender neutral!reader

๑彡 divorced!au/ex-husband!au, post-break up!au, exes-to-lovers!au — fluff

๑彡 paragraph format — 1.1K words

masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

๑彡 title is taken from zack tabudlo’s as you are.

๑彡 i’m lowk proud of this ngl bc— it’s fluff, but it took me relatively quick to finish?? usually i get stuck for weeks if the wip’s fluff ><

Kim Mingyu is a man of confidence.

Not that he uses his confidence to swindle strangers, as the dictionary suggests the title means. Rather, he exudes confidence — regardless of what he does.

There is always an air confidence around him. He can be in clothes that don’t fit the event’s theme and he’ll still seem perfectly dressed. He can be barely conversant in another language and he’ll still sound like he knows what he’s saying. He can just be standing there, doing nothing, and he’ll still appear like he’s doing something right.

Some people mistake his confidence for arrogance. Most find it admirable. But, in truth, Mingyu hardly cares.

Especially if his so-called confidence vanishes whenever you are in the vicinity and within his line of sight. Just like now.

He sees you in a table with Seokmin. Your back is towards him but he recognizes you, anyway. Despite the distance, he has no problem witnessing how animatedly you talk with your common friend.

It’s almost like he is back in college: you and Seokmin in one row, him and Minghao a few rows back. He can almost hear Minghao state matter-of-factly, "You’re staring," like he often does back then.

Really, all that’s different is Minghao’s currently preoccupied being the groom to comment on his staring. (There are definitely more things that are different now, but he doesn’t want to even begin thinking about them.)

Seokmin catches his stare. Not soon after, specifically before Mingyu can even look away, he sees him leave the table. Seokmin throws him a familiar meaningful look before disappearing into the dance floor.

Truth be told, Mingyu’s confidence comes naturally. It isn’t something that he purposely channels. It’s just always there . . . unless you are involved. Then, suddenly, he has to painstakingly gather the confidence to be near you.

"Is this seat taken?" He tries his hardest to mask his awestruck look with one of kind politeness as he waits your response.

He almost forgot how to breathe when your eyes lock into his. "You may sit if you wish," you offer him a small, polite smile. "I don’t think he’ll be back anytime soon."

"Thanks." He effortlessly returns your gesture before situating himself on the chair your common friend abandoned. "How are you enjoying the party?"

"Really well, actually. I didn’t expect to recognize a lot of people from college." Your eyes don’t leave his as you answer. He tries not to stare back too intently, to look within your eyes to see something . . . anything. "And you?"

Mingyu waits for a beat, gathering enough confidence to say what he wants to. "Better now that you’re here." With me.

He lets out a barely audible embarrassed laugh. He has half a mind to take it back, but quickly changes his mind when he sees you biting your lower lip — an obvious attempt to stop yourself from laughing.

A ghost of a smile plays on his lips. There’s pride in knowing he’s still able to make you laugh, despite it being your first meeting in literal years.

You look down in a presumable attempt to calm yourself down. He doesn’t take his eyes off of you, though, as he refuses to lose you from his sight. As such, he immediately notices the sudden shift in your expression.

"You’re still wearing it." Mingyu follows your line of sight — and ends up looking at the source of your comment. His hand on the table, specifically the band of gold adorning his ring finger. "Our ring."

Our wedding ring.

You and Mingyu married soon after graduating from college. It had been a blissful marriage, one that filled a home with nothing but love and support.

Your divorce was on the basis of irreconcilable differences. It was a mutual decision, for the interest of your career paths diverging too far. There was never a bad blood.

"Ye— yeah." Mingyu stutters involuntarily. He clears his throat before continuing, "It’s a great conversational piece."

Although the divorce has been finalized years ago, Mingyu still plays the faithful and loving husband role in front of strangers. He uses the ring on his finger to his advantage: may that be to wordlessly signal that he’s already taken or to gain the favor of a potential sponsor.

Likewise, even if he knows the ring might be a disadvantage, he refuses to take it off — nor to purposely hide it from sight. The same way he never tells a stranger that he is no longer tied to someone else.

"Does it work?" You ask in wonder.

"We are conversing now, aren’t we?"

You chuckle, "Touché."

Mingyu wants to tell you that he hasn’t taken the ring off since you slipped it on his finger during your wedding. Not even after your divorce has been finalized all those years ago.

He wants to tell you his ring finger is thinner near his palm because of his adamant refusal to take his wedding ring off once in a while. Not willing to separate from the only physical reminder of your marriage, not even for a second.

He wants to tell you the ring is more than a conversational piece. He wants to tell you it’s his lifeline, something he can’t bear to lose. But he doesn’t.

Instead, Mingyu uses all the confidence he has gathered to ask you a simple question. "Dance with me?"

He offers you the hand adorned by his wedding ring. He tries not to show the uncertainty he feels by masking it behind a smile.

He almost lets out a relieved sigh when you place your hand on top of his. But he stops breathing momentarily when he catches sight of the sole jewelry adorning your hand.

"You’re still wearing it," Mingyu echoes your comment breathlessly. "Our ring."

He snaps his eyes back to your face, just in time to witness your smile widen. "Yeah," you say. "It’s a great talisman to ward off potential suitors."

He leads you to the dance floor, silently marveling at how your hand still fits perfectly with his. "Does it work?"

"It’s very effective," you assure him. "Although I don’t think it works well against ex-husbands."

Another slow song starts playing right when you reach the dance floor. You and Mingyu unconsciously claim your respective hand placements during your first dance — and for any waltz you danced after.

Then, suddenly, it’s like you traveled back in time.

Mingyu pulls you closer, a ghost of a smirk is at the edge of his lips. "I think it works well attracting ex-husbands."

Sixth Sense // Mickey Garcia

Summary: A freak accident occurs at the Hard Deck and Fanboy is faced with the challenge of being left to care for you, his not so official girlfriend.

Warnings: Mickey Garcia x F!reader. Hurt/Comfort. Gas explosion resulting in hearing and vision loss.

Word Count: 1.7k

Author Note: Day Three of Whumptober. Prompt I chose: Sensory Deprivation. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for the prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“Holy shit, what the hell was that?” It all happened so fast, so fast in fact that the explosion that ricocheted through the Hard Deck didn’t register a sound until a few seconds after the fact. 

Patrons laid strewn across the bar, ducking for cover under tables and bars. Glass from the windows had sliced unsuspecting patrons as it blew apart from the force of the blast. Food and beverages littered the floor, thrown in the panic of the moment as all inside ducked. 

“Everybody okay?” Jake Seresin stayed shielding Natasha Trace with his entire body. “Is anyone hurt?” His arms pinned her down against the hardwood floor at either side of her head. Seconds ago—they’d been arguing over a long standing disagreement over who could tie more Cherry stems with just their tongue in three minutes. Now, Phoenix had never been this close to a man she could hardly stand. 

“Yeah—we’re good!” Rooster replied as he looked around, he’d been knocked on his ass by the bast. Coyote was right beside him, as was Payback. The three of them had been indulging in a game of darts to see who could knock Hangman down a peg or two on the leaderboard. “Bob? Fanboy? You guys okay?” 

“I think we’re alright?” Bob groaned as he pushed himself up off the ground—peanuts were crushed all over the ground around him. Mickey sat back on his knees scanning the Hard Deck. He couldn’t see you. There was a small cut on the side of Mickey's face but other than an artificial flesh wound, he was relatively unscathed from the unsuspecting blast that had pummeled through the Hard Deck. 

“Anyone seen Y/n?” Fanboys eyes continued to scour the entire expanse of the Hard Deck as he rose to his feet and dusted himself off. “Yo, guys—anyone see Miss Barkeep?” 

“She was heading out back to help the gas guy change out the—“ Bob didn’t even need to finish his sentence before he’d connected the dots. “Oh god, Y/n.”

A gas explosion. 

Mickey took a few seconds to register where his best friend's mind had gone, but then he realised. In those few seconds where Fanboy couldn’t breathe he knew he couldn’t live without you before he had a chance to really have you. 

Sure, the two of you were friendly. Probably more than most friends would be. Sure, you sometimes spent the night in Mickey's bed after he’d stay back and help you shut the Hard Deck up. Sure, he spent lazy Sunday mornings with you in the kitchen making breakfast and drinking coffee more often than not. And sure, the two of you enjoyed each other’s company, blatantly flirted beyond belief and made sure to always text each other when you got home, finished work, and stole secret kisses here and there when it was just the two of you. But. You weren’t official. 

And that may have been Mickey Garcia's biggest mistake. 

“Y/n!?” There you were. “Oh my god!” Lying unconscious on the ground a few meters away from where the gas bottles were kept behind the Hard Deck. Penny kept a tight ship—they were locked behind a wire cage that made sure patrons couldn’t fuck around. Something must have gone wrong during the change over, because the gas man wasn’t too far away from you. 

“Hey—hey!?” Mickey was by your side in an instant, the second his eyes caught your body lying there—thrown away and discarded like you weren’t the most important person to him, he was by your side. “Amor? Can you hear me?” 

Rooster had already called for paramedics to attend the scene while Hangman and Phoenix had begun to do whatever they could with their advanced first aid training—using the Hard Decks first aid kit to fix small cuts and abrasions on patrons from lying shards of glass. 

“Y/n?” You had a pulse, Mickey knew that much. But you weren’t waking up. “Please—come on Amor, you gotta wake up for me.” 

“This guys dead—“ Payback calls out. Mickey's mind fills with worst case scenarios the longer you were down for. “He’s got no pulse and the back of his head’s cracked.” He’s an ex paramedic, he knows. “I'm gonna start chest compressions, see if I can bring him back, how’s the kid?” 

You weren’t just shy of Fanboys age, he was the youngest in the group after all. Top of his class, intellectually gifted enough to graduate highschool three years earlier than most ever would. But to Paybacks forty one? You were still a child, in his mind anyway. 

“She’s breathing.” Is all he says before your stirrings. “Hold on! I think she’s waking up!” There’s nothing but a ringing in your ear. A sharp high pitched buzzing that’s incessant and ear piercing. You groan at the sound as you try to blink away the clouded vision that’s plaguing your eyes. But nothing can get rid of the thick fog like blur. “Y/n—it’s me, you’re okay, I’ve got you—“  But you can’t make out who it is. You can’t hear anything but that annoying ringing that won’t go away. Your head hurts, holy shit what the hell happened? 

“I—“ You stutter out. “I can’t see.” It sends Mickey's heart racing inside his chest, even more so than it already was. “I—I can’t see—“ You can't even hear yourself talking so you just assume you’re talking far too quiet. But in reality you're screaming, screaming so loud you’re straining your neck. “I CAN'T HEAR!” 

“Hey—I’ve got you.” Mickey doesn’t know what else to do besides try and calm you while medics make their way around the Hard Deck. “I love you, yeah?” Payback hears Mickey say it before you ever do and his heart breaks. You don’t deserve this. Neither does Fanboy. “You’re gonna be alright Amor, I’m right here.” 

But all you do is cry. You can’t hear a single thing being spoken or see a single thing in front of you. All there is before you are shadows of light and darkness. Mickey's hands squeeze yours and you feel it. His signet ring—the one his Abuela brought him many moons ago. But you know in the darkness and uncertainty that it’s Mickey at your side. 

“If she’s lost senses, Mick, it's gonna be a head trauma of some sort.” Payback keeps going with his chest compressions. “Is there any sign of blood?” You squeeze Mickey's hand a little harder as he goes to pull away to check. You squeeze so hard that he can’t let go, you’re far too afraid of being left alone in the dark. “Fanboy?”

“I—I dunno, probably! She probably hit her head on the ground!” Mickey manages to wiggle free just one of his hands so he can push your hair out of your face. “Shhh—I’m right here.” He tries to soothe you once again, but your cries are just too heartbreaking. “Amor, I am right here with you—I’ve got you.” 

“Please don’t let me die here alone.” Was all you mumbled out. You didn’t know what Mickey was saying or if he was saying anything at all. The ringing was all too deafening. But when you begged him to stay, to not leave your side. Mickey's heart shattered into a million different pieces. “Please don’t leave me.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here.” He traced your face with his fingers, just letting you know he was there with you. Your grip on his hand began to falter as you slipped into unconsciousness again, just trying to find some shelter from the ringing. “I’m right here with you.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Without the surgery your daughter might regain her vision but it’s only a slim chance Mrs Y/l/n—“ Doctor Perry spoke to the woman on the other end of your phone. Mickey had called her on your behalf from the other side of the country, she was already packing her things for the flight she’d booked to be by your side. “I’d say it’s barely twenty percent.” 

“What about with the surgery?” Mickey asked as his eyes looked over you. You looked too peaceful to be in this situation. You knew he was there just by his touch alone. He made sure you knew it was him by his ring as he ran his thumb across your palm. “What’s the odds of her getting her vision back with the surgery?” 

“Almost one hundred percent—if the surgery were to go well. If it doesn’t then she runs the risk of being permanently incapacitated for the rest of her life.” Doctor Perry was a little too blunt for Mickey's liking, but he appreciated the direct route. “She’ll regain her hearing, hopefully, her ear drums were significantly damaged in the blast but they should recover.” 

“Do the surgery.” Your mother barked on the other side of the phone. “My daughter can’t be deaf and blind—what type of future would she have then? What kind of quality of life would she have?” Mickey couldn’t take his eyes off you as you slept. It was better this way, to keep you sedated. That way you couldn’t panic. But he thought about it while the doctor droned on to your mother about the surgery, that no matter the outcome you’d have a life with him. He’d take care of you—learn how to adapt, help you with anything you ever needed. Do anything you ever needed him to do. 

A freak accident that took away two of your six senses shouldn’t be the reason your life ends. You were still alive and oh how Mickey Garcia was grateful to whatever God was on duty that day. 

“Mrs Y/ln?” Mickey interrupted as he turned the phone back his way. Your mother silenced herself mid sentence to listen to what Mickey had to say. “I know we haven’t formally met before but I just want you to know that I’ve been head over heels in love with your daughter since she served me for the first time.” He explained all the while his eyes never left your perfect face. A face he really wouldn’t mind waking up to every day. “And I know there’s a hell of a lot of uncertainty about what may come, but I just want you to know that her quality of life doesn’t diminish if her sight can’t be restored or her hearing doesn’t improve.” Mickey could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks as he squeezed your hand, and as much as he wished none of this ever happened, he knew he couldn’t leave you know. Not ever. 

“I’ve got her ma’am—“ 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Whumptober Tags 🏷️ @xoxabs88xox @oldermenaremyreligion @slut-f0r-u @emma-is-cool @armydrcamers @topguncortez @topgun-imagines @kmc1989 @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt

forever by my side

mingyu still honors the love signified by his ring, even after all this time.

๑彡 kim mingyu x gender neutral!reader

๑彡 divorced!au/ex-husband!au, post-break up!au — fluff(?), angst(?)

๑彡 paragraph format — 0.8K words

masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

๑彡 title is taken from zack tabudlo’s by my side (ft. tiara andini).

๑彡 thank you sm for the overwhelming love for my future in your eyes! please accept this as a thank you gift :]

๑彡 this is connected to that fic, a prequel of sorts, but can also be read as a standalone. (i highly recommend reading that, too, though.)

Kim Mingyu is a man of confidence.

He exudes confidence, regardless of what he does. It’s a natural part of his aura — something that he can never control at will.

It comes in handy for his line of work, which often requires him to socialize and impress others. Occasionally, though, it also needs him to give presentations in front of large crowds.

As his audience continues to stare at him, with a mix of glossed eyes and awestruck expressions, Mingyu begins to appreciate his inborn confidence a little bit more.

He’s an extrovert. He does well with crowds. He’s comfortable striking up conversations with complete strangers. He’s talkative and spontaneous and outgoing, amongst other things.

And with his confidence, Mingyu can command a room with ease.

Yet, still, it doesn’t necessarily mean he enjoys public speaking — especially if the crowd he’s addressing is full of college students who are currently everywhere, just not in the classroom.

He can hardly blame them. He has been in their shoes before. He knows what it feels like to listen to professors and guest lecturers drag on when he rather spend his time elsewhere.

"Well then, if you guys thought of more questions later," he began his wrap-up speech, "feel free to email me. Thank you—"

A flurry of moment on his right caught his attention, effectively halting his speech. However, the cause of it is gone by the second he turns.

The only evidence he has that he didn’t hallucinate the entire thing is the murmuring that suddenly engulfs the room. And the small folded piece of paper on his right that seems to appear out of the blue.

Mingyu reaches for the paper and looks around the room. He immediately notices the students’ renewed interest in him. Or perhaps — most likely — they are just interested in how he responses to the note.

He looks down as he opens the paper.

Mister, do you have a significant other?

He chuckles soundlessly. Not because of how off-topic it is from the presentation he just gave, but because it is apparently enough to bring you forth in his mind.

After all, you are his other half. Someone he met and fell in love with within the walls of your college campus. Someone he put great effort to deserve the heart of.

The only one he could see sharing a future with. The only one he went down on one knee for and waited for at the end of the aisle.

The only one he loves with his soul. The only one he respects and cherishes to an unfathomable extent.

Mingyu gives a shy smile to the sea of students before raising his hand, palm facing inward. He lets the gold band around his ring finger shine under the spotlights aimed at him.

Their collective disappointment is loud.

Mingyu finds their reaction amusing. He has watched countless people react to his marital status over the years. Those who appear dismayed, he notes, often try their best to hide it, albeit unsuccessfully. As a matter of fact, this is the first time anyone has ever showed disdain so openly — a whole group, too, no less.

He can’t stop the soundless chuckle that escaped. He has always been proud of his marriage. He boasts about it — and you — every chance that he gets. It’s something that always brings a smile to his face. Something that he never gets tired of.

Even after the divorce.

The end of your marriage had been a mutual decision. You both agreed that it was the best action to take, before anything escalated to something unbecoming. And, at the time, it was the best decision to take.

The end of your marriage didn’t signify the end of his love for you, though. That’s why, even years after the court made your divorce official, his wedding ring stayed on his finger.

Mingyu may have failed to keep you by his side, but he absolutely has no plans to rid himself of the only physical reminder of your marriage.

Mingyu may have lost his rights to claim you as his spouse; but at least in front of strangers, he can still pretend that the gold around his finger is more than a remembrance.

"How are you going to find a replacement for your wedding ring if you keep letting people think you’re still married?" Minghao wonders when he meets up with him after his presentation.

Ironically enough, his longtime friend personifies the reality that his façade only works with strangers. Those who don’t know what happened. Nor can read him like an open book. Nor notice the hint of sadness in his eyes.

Mingyu simply shrugs at that, "Bold of you to assume I want a replacement in the first place."

(After all, his wedding ring isn’t just a conversational piece. It’s also his lifeline . . . something he can’t bear to lose, especially when he already lost you.)

mr. jeon and his 58 cm shoulders