Blood Letting

Blood Letting

*Cutting Trigger Warning*

I practice the ancient art of bloodletting I create an incision on my body and let my tainted blood run free in an attempt to cleanse myself of some unidentifiable disease, sickness, illness But I cannot outrun it Cannot seem to drain this contaminated blood before more unholy red liquid is pumped out and running rampant in my veins again I try and explain this to my doctor of modern medicine and she tells me that this is a dated, useless tactic That this is too dangerous a way to try and heal But is this not the point To watch the incisions heal and pretend like I too am healing When she asks me why I do it all I can think is 'red' Maybe I am addicted to the red Ozzing and dripping and flowing more freely than I ever could Red is the colour of love you know Maybe I am proving to myself that there is still love inside of me Maybe I am bleeding all over myself in an attempt to pretend I am loving myself Do you see? I am covered in it She asks me what I get out of it Beside red? Besides pain? Besides release? I suppose I receive the marks It is then that I realize that my favourite thing about my scars is that they are mine That they belong to me That they are the one thing that always will

Random Facts About Me : A Tag

I just reached 350 followers!? Thank you so much, everyone, for putting up with all my weirdness :)

Started by @hey-its-me-livia  (very lovely, thank you for your contribution) I was tagged by @birdyloverlightwood-bane (thanks girl!) Rules: State facts about yourself. It can be anything so get random af people

I’d love to go to Germany someday

I can’t swim...or ride a bike...yes I know, it’s sad

 I’ve worn the same pair of glasses since I got them in 5th grade

I’m an absolute sucker for book quotes, I will quote them in the most random situations

My name means pure in Arabic 

My favourite food is cake (yEs It CoUnTs DoNt YoU dArE tRy AnD tElL mE oThErWiSe) 

Tagging: @allduckskneelbeforeme @stryga-came-through @babebookish @harrybpoetry  @octavianblackthorn @sunsetsandspilledpoetry @dolores-hazy

Who did it better? 002

Red Hair:

Clary Fairchild vs. America Singer vs. Amarantha  vs. Lucien Vanserra 

I do not want to go home yet please stay here with me or don't this silence is an oxymoron quiet and filling soft and jagged breathless deep breaths This lonely is heavy drawn hotel curtains is permanent blue-grey winter twilight is days spent staring at the constellations of my ceiling 

I do not want to go home yet I know life is beautiful for some people sometimes just not today stay here with me leave me alone with you go away please don't, stay please don't stay with me here here we are only what we are not what we imagine I am tired of imagining I want to be real with you

I want                                                                                                                 

not to go home 

yet

please

don't make me

Mother, I am scared I cannot sleep There is a monster under my bed In the closet In my head It is all the things I have left unsaid It wears the most terrifying face of regret And whispers to most vile things Of everything that could have been It smells of sorrow and leaks puddles of tears Yet it never moves Like it is frozen in time Staring off at some distance thing Right through me As if it knows I am the one who has created it As though it knows I am the one who keeps it trapped here                                As though it can see all that would have been Just right there behind me But it never moves. This is what scares me most

I don't like the way we said goodbye.

All The Things I Never Told You, All The Things I Will Never Get to Tell You