2/30 - Tumblr Posts

2/30

Hey guys, yesterday it was my second day in the productivity challenge. Here are some of the things i accomplished:

- 7 essays

- Cleaned the bathrom

- Grocery shopping

- Washed the dishes

Okay, I'm still not doing everything I wish I did. But I guess I'm going in small steps. Whenever I get frustrated with my to-do lists, I try to remember that I'm not competing with any other but my self. So let's do it!

#text review is fun

💔 she’s about to feel the most excruciating heartbreak! Jungkook seems to have finally given up on her.. i can’t wait for the next part!! ✨

2:30 series - monster

"Un-fucking-believable…", Jungkook grumbles again, slamming the door behind him soon as you're both at your house. He hissed the whole way home after you both got in the car. Jealous Jungkook was something you often saw, and sometimes it was cute, but today? He was fumming.

"Let's not talk about that right now, Kook."

"Why? You need time to think of an excuse?", he raised his eyebrows, frustrated. You haven't seen him for two whole weeks since he traveled, then he came back to Korea just go straight to Jin's house, followed by your awful argument there. You met up with him at Namjoon's party, but before that you ran into your ex-boyfriend, who by the way Jungkook hated with all his being.

Not that he was an idiot before you guys broke up or anything, you just didn't love him. Sungwoon accepted your breakup well and you both ended up becoming good friends. Jungkook talked to you at the beginning of your relationship about not liking the guy at all and preferring you to stay apart from him, and you didn't see a problem with that. If it were the other way around, you wouldn't like it either.

You greeted Sungwoon, offering your hand, but he pulled you into a hug before you could stop it. It wasn't a sensual or lingering hug or anything like that. At least not that you've noticed. But he hugged you right before Jungkook found you at the party, so in his view, it wasn't good at all.

"You don't get to talk to me like that, Kook. I already told you what happened. Why do you have to be so difficult?", you tried to reason with him, but Jungkook didn't give in easily.

"We’re not finished, YN. I'm not just going to let this go."

You breathe deeply, trying to calm down. By now, you and Jungkook know each other so well, he knows just what to say to spite you. "I'm not talking to you when you're like this. Arguing with you is pointless if you’ve already made up your mind."

"Oh, so suddenly I'm the bad guy here?!"

"You're not, but you act as though you’re the only one who knows how the world actually works, Jungkook!", you spat back, but he didn't budge.

"Surely seems like it!"

"Oh, c'mon! I'm not that naive, I have eyes! If he was hitting on me, I'd have to notice, and EVEN if he was, I have no interest in nobody else but you!", you're yelling by now.

"See?! You know he was hitting on you! Admit it! I was right."

You scoffed, angry at his childishness.

"You always think you have the final answer, Jungkook! You always think you're right!"

"No, I don’t ‘think’ I’m right, I‘know’ I’m right!", he states finally. "And why did you stay there?"

"What, on the same party?!"

"Yeah! Where your boyfriend weren't!"

"Wait a minute, you're blaming me?! This is my fault? "

"Of course I'm blaming you, YN! Why did you stay if you knew your ex was there? You know how much I hate that guy! None of this would've happened if you had just listened to me!"

You took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, but you were losing it. "I stayed 'cause it was a party, Kook. And you were on your way, so why would I leave?"

Jungkook scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, I saw you partying. You surely know how to do it when I'm not there". He said the words, regretting them at the same time they left his mouth.

Your eyebrows furrowed, shocked by his words.

"Wait a minute… Do you think I was cheating on you? Did you just seriously insinuate I would do something like that to us?"

"That’s not what I said"

"That's exactly what you meant, Jungkook.", you hold back your tears, but they started to flow anyway.

"C'mon, don't cry… That's not what I meant.", Jungkook reach to touch you, but hold back.

"Then what did you mean, Kook? You seriously don't trust me?", you dry your eyes, looking his straight in the eyes. "I'm not like that, Kook. You know me! And the fact that you still think I’d do that hurts the most."

"I know you aren't like that, YN. I was just mad and jealous… Please forgive me for what I've said. I saw him leaning towards you and my mind did the rest… I lost it. I wanted to break his fucking face for getting close to you like that."

He finally tried to reach you, but you gave a step back.

"So you're sorry for the cheating words, but not for everything else?"

Jungkook's jaw tensed as he crossed his arms. “I’m not apologizing for anything else, YN.”

You nod, laughing sarcastically. What the hell is going on with you two? How can it be that when you see each other there is always a fight?

You decide not to talk anymore, going to your bedroom and bringing back his pillow and a blanket.

“What you’re doing?”, Jungkook grumbles, watching you place them on the couch.

"You're sleeping on the couch.", you answered, walking straight to your bedroom again.

"Fine by me.", he spats back.

"Good", you don't turn around to look at him, closing the door behind you.

The next day, you woke up and went straight to the living room to check on Jungkook. It was still early, so he was still sleeping, or rather snoring. The blanket had been on the floor for a long time. He never liked sleeping with too many blankets, and you've lost count of how many times he's wrapped you in the blankets like a burrito, keeping you warm while he, by himself, is like a human heater. His own sun.

You sat on the sofa directly across from him, watching him sleep.

You were there for quite some time before you saw him moving, almost waking up, and then you got up quickly, going to the kitchen and making breakfast.

If Jungkook noticed you watching him sleep, he didn't say anything. He showered, changed, and sat down to breakfast with you, like the two of you always do, neither of you saying a word.

"Are you gonna keep ignoring me?", Jungkook tried for the first time, but didn't respond, getting up to place the dishes in the sink and wash them. He sighed, getting up to make you pay attention to him.

“When was the last time we had a real conversation?”

You didn't reply either, focusing on the dishes and waiting for him to get out, but he didn't. Instead, Jungkook took the plate from your hands and placing it inside the sink, causing to glare at him. It was some kind of attention. Not the best, but attention anyhow.

"You know what? I really hate when you do this."

You stop, turning to look at him. Jungkook continues.

"I mean, I screwed up, and I know that and yeah, I deserve the cold shoulder thing too because I was an asshole saying all that... But you know what really bothers me?". He didn't wait for your response. "You always shut me down! You ALWAYS push me away, YN. Always close the door on me, and I don't mean just physically!", he sighted, tired. You kept your silence.

"You're not gonna say anything?!"

"What do you want me to say, Jungkook?", you tried your voice for the first time. Despite being quiet all the morning, your voice seemed just as tired, just as his.

"Anything, YN! Any-fucking-thing!", he raised his voice, and you stared at him. "Anything is better than walk away, you leave every time something doesn't go the way you planned!"

"I rather be quiet than say things I don't mean.", you spite back.

"And what that supposed to mean?!"

"I mean that you are FULL of excuses, Jungkook! And I'm fucking tired of them! You say hurtful things then take them back."

"At least I say something!! At least I fucking stay! I don't run away like you always do!"

"Then stop giving me reasons to!", you yell back.

Jungkook stops the next words he was about to say, absorbing yours. There you were again, hurting each other. And now you were blaming him.

"I am a lot of things and I do a lot of stupid shit, YN, but you don't get to put the blame on me for you leaving."

"Kook, I--"

"No.", he waves for you to stop the apologies you were about to say. You knew it wasn't his fault. "I'm sorry for hurting you with what I said last night, but please, don't put the blame on me. It's not fair. You're always leaving me, YN. I and honestly don't know how much I can take."

"Kook, listen to m-"

"You wanna know what I think sometimes?"he cuts you again. "I feel like we’re falling apart, and you don’t care. I said, the day we began to date… That I’d never let you go, and I never did. So why do you keep letting me go?"

"I--I don't have all the answers you want from me..."

"I can see that.", he agrees, disappointed. "I love you, YN. You know I do… And I know you love me too, otherwise we wouldn't be doing this, but I don't understand why you always do this…"

"I trust you," Jungkook gave a step back as the distance grew between you. "I trust you with my life, and you can't trust me."

You stared back, watching the hurt reveal itself in his eyes, and your heart ached in return. "I trust you, Kook. I promise, I do."

"Why I don't feel like you do? When we got together, I was honest with you about everything-even with the truth about how I felt about you. I've never been that honest before. I trusted you." His voice drifted into a whisper. "Why can't you trust me?"

He waited for a response. Any response. But you didn't say anything, just lowering your head, looking at your feet. Jungkook nodded, leaving you there and getting ready for work.

You knew he was right.

Mercedes-Benz 230 CE