Absolutely Smashed With The Direction! Pleasantly Surprised And Tears Blurring My Already Weak Vision. - Tumblr Posts
CREATIONISM ?! - 600 follower event
↳ TRACK 020 : glitter - k.hj feat. gn!reader
genre - angst MDNI
duration - 830 words
parental advisory - crying, unreciprocated feelings, tension, idk it just hurts
networks : @cultofdionysusnet @atzhouse @cromernet @pirateeznet
A/N: I miss the days where angst could get the same kinda notes as smut. For @vcutparis
Hands shaking, Hongjoong took a deep breath to steady himself. He brushed a hand through his wild hair, an attempt to neaten himself up, and smoothed the folds out of his jeans. Before he could pussy out for the 1000th time, he rang your doorbell and held his breath in anticipation. Moments later, he was met with a smile and a hug. It took all his might not to squeeze you and never let go.
“Joong! Hey! I missed you so much!”
Fuck, every single calculated, handcrafted word that he’d reserved for you had vanished in a blink of an eye. You had a habit of startling the poor man into factory resetting, and yet again he had fallen victim to it. He simply stood there in shock, frozen in place. It was only when you were about to pull away, worried you’d overstepped, that he quickly wrapped his arms around you, squeezing a little too tight.
“Yeah! Me… Me too!”
You gave him a half-hearted laugh and he quickly let you go, cheeks red as he coughed slightly. Noticing the tint, you didn’t comment on it, pushing the door further open and beckoning him inside.
Once you had shut the door, the space felt a lot more private. Candles twinkled quietly, filling the space with a sweet aroma. The tv had been turned to your favourite show, the volume low enough to resemble a murmur. He spied a bowl of snacks, presumably left on the sofa while you answered his call. He jumped when your voice was by his ear, raising the hairs on the back of his neck.
“You don’t wanna sit down?”
Gulping, Hongjoong nodded.
“So, you said you wanted to talk to me?”
He coughed as he sat down, adjusting his trousers as he did so. You perched on the sofa arm as he fiddled with his fingers, toying with his ring as his hands shook a little.
“Yeah.. I just had something I wanted to uh.. get off my chest.”
You leaned in, focusing your attention on Hongjoong, expression slightly concerned. His anxious demeanour was beginning to make you feel nervous yourself, especially when his face looked so guilty.
“I… ah fuck, I don’t know how to tell you this.”
You smiled reassuringly, playing with his baby hairs. Usually he would relax from the action, but he quickly tensed up. You removed your hand from his nape, brows furrowed.
“Hongjoong, you know you can tell me anything. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’ll always try to help.”
“It’s just… these feelings.”
You paused.
“Feelings?”
“Yeah, feelings.”
The two of you sat in silence for a minute, the tension suffocating. Hongjoong’s head was bowed, assumedly composing himself before looking up, teary eyed.
“I’m sorry. I’m such a horrible person for thinking of you like that. You’re my friend, a-and I-…”
He trailed off, sniffling as a singular tear fell. The man quickly wiped it away, scoffing humourlessly before turning away.
“And now I’m crying in front of you. God, I’m.. I’m a mess, I’m sorry. I’m just- I’m just gonna go-“
“Hongjoong, sit down.”
You were now standing in front of the man, face set while he avoided looking at you. Your mind was a mess - you didn’t know what to feel, how to deal with such a confession - but it was clear to you what needed to be done. You pulled Hongjoong into a hug, shushing him as he began to sob.
Before he was an admirer, he was a friend - a friend that needed to be comforted. He relaxed into your touch as he stroked your hair, clinging to you like he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go. When he’d finally quietened down, Hongjoong sighed, pulling away as his eyes still shone.
“I’m sorry.”
You chuckled and wiped the tear that escaped his eye.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“How do you… feel about what I said?”
You turned away from him, his gaze too bright for you to bear.
“I’m sorry… I don’t-“
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about either.”
The silence was palpable, and you just pulled him back in, unable to watch the way his face fell into one of disappointment. You felt guilty for comforting him, like you were giving him hope. When he couldn’t take it anymore, Hongjoong stood up, pulling away with a smile.
“I’m gonna go now.”
Your instinct was to ask him to stay, but you understood that he needed distance from you. So you simply nodded, giving his shoulder a squeeze before approaching the door. When you opened it, he turned back to give you one last smile.
“Take care of yourself.”
“Yeah… you too.”
Hongjoong waited for the door to shut before breaking down, crying as he walked away. You watched with a heavy heart from the peephole.
You wished you could feel the same way as him, just to alleviate the pain in his heart.
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