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Mihawk: You’re being a child.

Shanks (on shot what? of gin) : You'd better watch who you're calling a child, Dracule. Because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you?

Mihawk:....

Shanks: A Pedophile.

Mihawk:……

Shanks (drinking the gin bottle dry) : And I'll be damned if I'm gonna be lectured by a pervert.

Mihawk: ……..😑

Safe to say that Shanks is no longer allowed to drink gin. Because, As it turns out, spirits turn him into a bit of a mean drunk

I think Zoro and Shanks could get on famously if only that wasn’t his father whore.

And Zoro can move past a lot but he will never be able to move past the knowledge that he only knows this man because he is fucking his dad and Shanks doesn’t even have the decency to be even a little bit ashamed about it.

It’s so funny to think about but because Shanks is who he is. He probably threw a party for Mihawk the first time they met up after Mihawk was finally tall enough to wear Yoru straight down his back.

Bonus if Shanks had already had his growth spurt and Mihawk was getting genuinely worried he had hit his final height and would never complete his aesthetic. (Also Shanks already lords over the one inch he could not have handled a several inches height difference it would have actually killed him if he didn’t kill himself first)

Also of course he pulls up with the Long coat and the hat already in checks who do you think this is?

Here is me proposing that maybe not the song but the vibes of Sabrina Carpenter’s “Please Please Please” music video is very Mishanks.

Just the general vibes of being super embarrassed not about the fact that your partner is a criminal but because they are so pathetic about it.

Mihawk reading the morning News Paper and seeing that the red haired pirates have ransacked an armoires navy ship and the front page is an obviously posed picture of Shanks giving what he thinks is a pretty boy smile and finger guns. And Mihawk just sighs morning cup of coffee ruined can’t believe he’s attached his name to this ingrate.

I think Mihawk would be a psychologist wet dream

Like what the fuck is exactly wrong with him? Who fucking knows not them.

Like he is literally just this scene from b99

Rosa and Amy are obviously represented by Benn and Shanks respectively and this is a red haired party with another crew. Benn was assigned to making sure an overstimulated mihawk doesn’t kill anyone duty while Shanks plays the ever gracious host. Who knows why the psychologists are there I don’t

I’m bored so question for the community. What are some of y’all’s Mishanks/goth fam Modern AU headcannons?

Another way that Mihawk’s perfectionism and obsessiveness rears its head is that he wanted Shanks to love him best.

Realistically in terms of people Shanks was probably all Mihawk had and so by default he loved him best but Shanks has so many people an ever growing list of people that he loves and where does Mihawk fall on that list? It’s easy to belive for a long time that he’s at the top. After all it’s him that Shanks keeps crossing oceans for. It’s him that Shanks comes back to again and again testing steel against steel, skin and skin. And things are good

But then Shanks goes to lay low in a little village in the east blue and meets a little boy.

And Mihawk doesn’t even know that he’s “lost” till it’s too late. Until Shanks has already sacrificed an arm and a hat for that boy and how could Mihawk ever compete with that?

And what’s the point of competing if you can’t win? If you can’t be the best?

So he leaves.

Mihawk and Shanks arguing about Shanks sacrificing his arm for a child. And Mihawk just fundamentally does not understand WHY? And shanks in a moment of pure frustration goes

“What if it were me? What if I was dying? Would you risk it all to save me?”

And Mihawk goes quiet not because he wouldn’t but because he realizes that he would despite everything that he believes, everything that has been taught to him, he knows that he would, without hesitation he would risk it all if for Shanks just for Shanks.

And then where does that leave him? The foundation on which he’s built decades of selves on gone, in an instant.

All because he knows that if this man right infront of him should die he might well take Mihawk with him. ,

The gag is Zoro and Shanks aren’t that different. Zoro is also completely reckless with his body less so now but I have no doubt that even now if he needed to cut off any part of his body to win, to save his crew he would do it without hesitation just like shanks.

And the thing is Mihawk would still fight him as long as Zoro can pick up a sword Mihawk would still fight him and relish in it.

Zoro loses an eye, Mihawk still trains him.

And Shanks…..Shanks loses his mind a little bit

I’m just very obsessed with the idea that mihawk is useless in a weapon less fight like he cannot throw a punch or get out of a pin to save his life like one he can’t kick he’s done out for the count, and this is why Shanks ends most of their duels this way. Because he’s a filthy cheater and Mihawk is even worse off because it’s Shanks pining him and he has eaten a lot of dirt.

Shanks decides to teach him the art of fighting dirty cause he’s nice that way but also let’s just say that Shanks likes being in a pin a little too much

Listening to Ribs by Lorde thinking about a pre breakup Mihawk telling Shanks.

“Your the only friend I need”

And Shanks a man who has always known company and has dedicated his life to having friends/family, doesn’t know how to take that.

Mihawk who intended this as a “flirt” is doing his best looking up through his eyelashes trick.

This does not help. At all

Okay so I’ve spent the last couple days on Twitter (@kacievvbbbb if you wanna join me 👀) just fucking yapping about my new found obsession with the idea that Mihawk not only reads but is an active and well loved contributor to the pirate smut genre all across the blues. And I just needed to bring this to tumble to get more thoughts on it.

Here are mine;

- he obviously writes under a pseudonym would be funny if it was an anagram of like Worlds Strongest Swordsman or something.

- he writes essentially y/n fanfiction but he is always the reader.

- he is heavily perfectionist about his detailing of things like bodice ripping and that has lead to many a fun night for Shanks as he discreetly tries to rest just how exactly a bodice ripping would look and feel. Or if this sex position is even plausible.

-this one was a combined effort between @Dior and myself but he writes all the lovers as much more of an active participant in sex than the pillow princess himself actually is and this is because he thinks he is putting in exactly the same amount of work into sex as Shanks is which is laughable.

-Benn features heavily in alot of these RHP smut books. Benn

-He mostly writes RHP smut but he will branch out to other pirates like Crocodile maybe Doffy 👀. This gives Shanks heart palpitations when he finds out all this smut has been written by Mihawk.

- Mihawk almost kills both himself and Shanks by drowning the first time he finds out that Shanks knows about his little hobby.

- Shanks regularly requests they try something from the book and Mihawk has to stomp down the urge to throttle him. But again Mihawk’s reader is a much active participant in sex than he is and he is not a fan of all this work he has to put in even though he enjoys the results. Shanks is highly amused.

- Shanks for the first time in his life becaomes an avid reader with a habit and this confuses everyone that doesn’t know what he is reading and suffers Benn greatly who does.

- Shanks is lowkey very into the stories where the “reader” has sex with other men. He starts setting plans in motion.

- Mihawk also collects a lot of pirate smut a lot of it is about himself as well and this is his equivalent to jerking off. His next favorite people to read about are of course Shanks, Cricodile he is ashamed of just how much Doflamingo smut he owns. Lowkey maybe some King smut too.

- a contribution from someone on Twitter tha I live is that he also grades said smut about himslef and then sends the notes to the authors.

- he pseudonym is well known and well lived in the community.

-this is infact where more than half of his riches comes from.

- yes he also does read marine porn. He steers clear of anything that even remotely mentions garp tho. His favorite marine to red about is Sengoku I don’t fucking know 😭. I can just imagine him seating in warlord meetings shipping Sengoku with random fucking marines and pirates as he is trying to talk about very serious business

- he sure write the well known and well loved “the red haired emperor & me” series which is published in Morgan’s magazine or whatever and Shanks always seeks him out no matter where he is and fucks him good and hard everytime a new chapter goes out.

- he continues to do this while at Cross Guild Buggy and Crocodile are non the wiser. His crocodile descriptions start to get more detailed a clown pops up every now and again in his writing Shanks might be on the verge of a heart attack.

- shanks is a little too invested in the situation some (Benn) would say.

Super silly but I’m picturing a scenario where Shanks can’t really read all that well (raised by pirates etc) but he still figures out Mihawk’s little hobby and then becomes Determined to Get Better so he can keep up with the smut. Benn is like oh finally, you’re actually putting some effort into this, good, and then immediately regrets everything when shanks tries to persuade him to use Mihawk’s books for his reading lessons

No not silly at all! That’s not a headcannon I have but I can definitely see how it’s so popular Shanks doesn’t not look like he was the “education” type when he was young so I can defiently see him not knowing how to read.

And I am obsessed with the idea that his main motivation for learning how to read is so he can keep up with Mihawk’s smut publishing. I love it so much! Like he had no interest in learning how to properly read he could get on fine and Benn was always there but the moment he finds out that Mihawk is publishing smut? About them? He has to get on that’s hit immediately. That’s his new favorite hobby he is constantly buying books his crew is soooo confused.

Benn who has previously offered and encouraged Shanks yo learn is initially ecstatic but then he sees just what shanks is so excited about reading and god these fucking freaky dorks (Mihawk & Shanks) need to stop dragging him into their fucking foreplay. He is also very exasperated by just how much he features in these books and very wary of Shanks’ idea look he can see forming. (He’s not opposed to joining in but he also knows that those two weirdos have never been direct about emotions a day in their lives and so are going to go about enticing him in the weirdest most exhibitionist way possible.)

He does like to see how slightly jealous and turned on Shanks gets when Mihawk’s reader is fucking different pirates tho.

Because I like to cause Mihawk emotional strife. I think it’d be fun if he had like a relative or a master, I don’t know just someone older and wiser who was a trusted adult to him, but who abandoned him and he convinces himself that they must have died right? because they wouldn’t just leave him, right?

But it turns out that’s exactly what they did and he knows this because they show back up in his life when he’s a grown man and the greatest swordsman in the world, and expect to just fit seamlessly back into his life. With the only reason given being that they knew it would make him stronger and it must have worked because look how strong he is! He’s Literally the greatest!

And Mihawk is taking 10/10 emotional damage. So much damage that he’s actually emoting and conveying facial expressions outside of smirks and displeased frowns. He is geniunly devastated that his mentor hadn’t just died like any respectable mentor should and is now expecting him to have feelings about it. 😒

He spends the first couple of days deluding himself and treating the mentor like a ghost come to haunt him for his sins. But Mihawk doesn’t do regret so that falls away pretty quickly. Not before he tries to have them exorcised though.

Idk why I find the fact Mihawk writes Y/N Reader inserts so funny but so true and I have reader inserts blocked on here like I hate them but oh my god so in character for him.

And he does not give a shit. Absolutely go king and getting fantasy dicked down by all the hot guys in one piece world I support! Also him being a sengoku shipper iconic. I was say maybe he thinks about Kuzan but I think he’s out off by his general laziness and apathy and not in a fun apathetic way like Barsolino in a depression way. ( he’s looking in a mirror and does not like it.) but if he learns Dragon used to be a marine and friends with Akainu he’s making the most toxic relationship of them friends to enemies to nemesis type shit.

He’ll write a new book and it will be a sensation and no matter the fact he changed the names everyone with a brain cell will be able to figure out who it’s about.

Sorry this took so long to reply! but

YES YES YES!!! I don't really like self insert stuff either but it's so in-character for him I'm so obsessed.

And yeah it really is just the adventures of reader as they travel across the grand line getting dicked down is definitely one of his most beloved and acclaimed series. Shanks goes hot and cold on that series a lot because while the idea of watching mihawk getting dicked down by another man is very hot Shanks is also a jealous man and he is very jealous of these "fictional" men. He tries to find out if mihawk has ever fucked any of them in real life and maybe 👀.

Also yeah I just threw in the marine thing because I thought it was funny but I'm glad it stuck out! 😂. I don't think he self ships with any of the marines (maybe in his GILF era sengoku or fujitoro) I think because none of the really strong marines appeal to him but he would fuck smoker if he was stronger. and just because I remembered dude and I think it would be so funny imagine if his only self x marine ship is with Ryokugyu (the tree admiral) I think he'd hate him in life but he's not blind. I think this realllllly pisses shanks off because he does not like him and honestly its a bit of a snake eating his own tail because a lot of the reason he doesn't like him is because of Mihawk's fanfiction of him.

I think Mihawk's natural reaction (mostly because it's mine) is to ship Sengoku with Garp but he hates Garp and even the thought of picturing him in that way is enough to make him want to pour his ears to bleach his brain. I think it be funny if during one of his lackadaisical checking out marine headquarters rooms (because realistically who is going to stop him) he stumbles upon and old picture of Garp Sengoku and Tsuru when they were young and he is very intrigued by thetwo hot young men then he notices that one of them is Garp and he almost throws up, the thought wont leave him alone tho.

Also yes i don't think Mihawk actually knows dragon but he has definitely heard of him and being Garps son is enough cause for pettitness in his eyes. Dragon's identity is a little harder to parse out I the books but Akainu's is so fucking obvious. And it is a loved and well-cherished series. Anytime that Mihawk attends a warlord meeting or just genuinely has an unpleasant interaction with akainu (which is every interaction) he puts pen to paper. It'd be funny if this was the most "tame" series though more focused on the fictional romace which confuses dragon and pisses akainu off even more because what? do they think he can't take it? and mihawk is very pleased with himself. he drops a new edition right before he goes to any warlord meeting so he can watch akainu seethe in real time as the new talk of the town takes root (this series specifically is very popular in marine towns)

as for the real life identities. I think he definitely makes it a bit hard not to protect anyone. Still, because he thinks it's fun to make people guess and adds to the mystery so there is definitely a fan club (which Shanks leads) dedicated to putting the clues together on just who all the different men are (shanks needs this for....research purposes 👀) some of them are obvious if you're in the know like the Benn ones or Crocodile while others are just plain obvious because the Red Haired Emperor is definitely shanks like if you know shanks you know its him there is only two people with hair that red. It's not kidd( it does give both kidd and shanks a bit of a reputation of some islands because his book counterpart is infinitely more dashing and "masculine" that shanks' bum and kid's manica energies) and I think he makes the Akianu ones very obvious to anybody that literally even if you've just ever heard of him you know its him just to fuck with him.

*Puts hand on your lower back and gently leads you down the path* walk with me for a moment. Think about it;

Young Mihawk, Young Shanks, Laurie confessing to Jo speech from Little Women (2017). Right before Shanks pulls off the robbery and heads to the East blue. the last time Shanks asks Mihawk to join his crew the only time he really means it.

*Grabs your arm as you start to walk away* wait wait- just listen.

Shanks saying all this? Right before he knows he’s about to steal something very important from a navy ship and would probably need to lie low for years. His way of begging Mihawk to come with him? Insane fucking cut my heart out.

Shanks: Sail with me?

Mihawk: …..What?

Shanks: Sail with me.

Mihawk:….(sigh) Shanks can we not-

Shanks: no no its no use Mihawk , we gotta have it out I have loved you ever since I’ve known you Mihawk I couldn’t help it, and and I tried to show you and you wouldn’t let me and I must make you hear me now and give me an answer because I cannot go on like this any longer, I gave up rum I gave up everything you didn’t like I’m happy I did it’s fine and I waited and I never complained because I, you know I figured you’d love me Mihawk and I realised im not half good enough and im not this great man and I-

Mihawk: Shanks! No.

And Shanks would keep pushing because to a young shanks whose only ever had crew as family and who never really got over his abandonment issues; Joining the crew is saying you’ll stay and staying means you love him enough to not leave him. And Shanks can’t deal with anyone else leaving him.

But of course all this does is push Mihawk away. They leave Shanks to rob a marine ship and Mihawk to leave a trail of bodies in his wake. And the next time they see each other Shanks has lost an arm and Mihawk’s entire world came crashing down.

*Puts hand on your lower back and gently leads you down the path* walk with me for a moment. Think about it;

Young Mihawk, Young Shanks, Laurie confessing to Jo speech from Little Women (2017). Right before Shanks pulls off the robbery and heads to the East blue. the last time Shanks asks Mihawk to join his crew the only time he really means it.

*Grabs your arm as you start to walk away* wait wait- just listen.

Shanks saying all this? Right before he knows he’s about to steal something very important from a navy ship and would probably need to lie low for years. His way of begging Mihawk to come with him? Insane fucking cut my heart out.

Shanks: Sail with me?

Mihawk: …..What?

Shanks: Sail with me.

Mihawk:….(sigh) Shanks can we not-

Shanks: no no its no use Mihawk , we gotta have it out I have loved you ever since I’ve known you Mihawk I couldn’t help it, and and I tried to show you and you wouldn’t let me and I must make you hear me now and give me an answer because I cannot go on like this any longer, I gave up rum I gave up everything you didn’t like I’m happy I did it’s fine and I waited and I never complained because I, you know I figured you’d love me Mihawk and I realised im not half good enough and im not this great man and I-

Mihawk: Shanks! No.

And Shanks would keep pushing because to a young shanks whose only ever had crew as family and who never really got over his abandonment issues; Joining the crew is saying you’ll stay and staying means you love him enough to not leave him. And Shanks can’t deal with anyone else leaving him.

But of course all this does is push Mihawk away. They leave Shanks to rob a marine ship and Mihawk to leave a trail of bodies in his wake. And the next time they see each other Shanks has lost an arm and Mihawk’s entire world came crashing down.

You ever think about how Mihawk definitely does not hear his name alot?

Like there are probably only 2 people in the entire world that consistently refer to him by name. To the rest of the world he’s just an epithet. He might as well have no real name for as little as he hears it.

He’ll hear it at introductions always preface by his epithet, he’ll see it in the bounty posters and notice it in the history books. But barely anyone will ever calm him that. Just a pink headed ghost girl and the red headed half of the most complicated situationship panning 20 years.

You ever think about how Shanks probably has a thousand and one nicknames for Mihawk he cycles through at a whim but maybe Mihawk’s favorite will always be the soft way in which Shanks calls out his given name like that’s all there is too it like there’s a Mihawk that exists all on its own. No matter the situation Shanks calls him Mihawk and he has his full attention

I think that swords definitely talk to Mihawk and Zoro like not even just their sword but any sword of worth but especially the "cursed" ones. Like I mean full-sentences talking that only they can hear. And not the general hum of power or bloodlust that people like shanks hear -

And Shanks does not realize that Mihawk means he is having full conversations with his sword when he says Yoru talks to him. Until Mihawk translates something Gryphon says and Shanks is just like 'I'm sorry.....what???"

Shanks: What do you mean you can talk to swords Mihawk: I told you this 🙄 Shanks: I thought you meant like the general humming, Not that they were conversationalists! Mihawk: So did you think all this time I was just talking to myself? Shanks:....I thought it was a symptom of your lonely childhood.....

I think Zoro has to hold the sword to hear it speak but will eventually grow to be like Mihawk where he just has to be in the area to hear it.

shanks had to pay for benn’s therapy and soundproof his quarters