Amazing Analysis - Tumblr Posts

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

Santana Lopez: Character Analysis

This is my in-depth analysis of Santana’s character- there are a few theories but I’m mostly just analyzing the info we already have about her and drawing my own conclusions. There are mentions of sexual assault, bullying, and eating disorders, so if that is triggering for you just be warned (I do give a warning when I get to those parts though). I’m going to start with her backstory and then jump around but it should be pretty easy to follow because I use sub-headings. Ok enjoy :) ALSO I might re-post this later as individual posts but I wanted to make one big one here 

Relationship with Abuela 

When Santana is talking to Finn about how she was ‘raised on insults’ in 3x06, some people think she’s exaggerating to make herself seem tough, and I think that’s partially true, but when she makes the comment about being called ‘garbage face’ she looks genuinely sad.  I think she really was ‘raised on insults’ and I think probably Abuela did insult her a lot. Making the comment about how her Abuela would put her to sleep at night confirms the fact that they spent a lot of time together. I think her dad didn’t become a doctor until she was older, and while he was putting himself through school, etc. I imagine her parents were working a lot and Abuela had a big part in her upbringing. I even think her family might have lived with Abuela or Abuela lived in their house at some point. 

Even though Abuela probably insulted her a lot, I think that she really loved Santana as much as she was capable of and that they were really close. I also think this is a lot of the reason why Santana doesn’t see an issue with insulting people and ‘telling it like it is’- like she has said, she watched Abuela as she grew up and saw her as a role model. The amount of time she spent with Abuela means she definitely picked up on this and it just became part of her personality by osmosis.

Relationship with Parents

I know we never see Santana’s dad, and because of the lines she got in ‘At the Ballet’, a lot of people think that he sucks. I disagree- I actually think she has a  decent dad. In ‘Funk’ when Sue quits the Cheerios, Mr. Schue finds her crying in the hallway and you can hear her say ‘Daddy’ twice as if she wanted her dad. I think the likely scenario is that he was working a lot, and maybe wasn’t as affectionate as she would have liked him to be, and missed out on a lot of her life, but I imagine him as being funny and I also think he instilled a really hard work ethic in her (more on that later). Also, in 4x20 when Santana is talking about how Abuela signed her up for ballet classes because she was such a tomboy ‘and it really pissed my dad off’, I like to think that what she meant was that it pissed her dad off that Abuela signed her up for ballet because he liked her being a tomboy. She’s an only child and I think they bonded over sports and more traditionally masculine things. 

What her mom says at the restaurant that she wants Santana to go to college so she can do what she never got the opportunity to do, it makes me believe that her mom either got pregnant with her when she was really young or just that she couldn’t afford to put herself through school. I think Abuela (Santana’s paternal grandmother) had a lot of money and eventually helped her son out with tuition to go through medical school but Maribel didn’t have the same opportunity. I think she worked in a restaurant or in an office job and worked a lot, but I think that she and Santana were always really close. 

Other Family & Trauma 

Santana is an only child, but when she is at Abuela’s you can see that there is a large family photo on the fridge. I think she has a really big extended family with a lot of cousins. 

TW//SEXUAL ASSAULT: There is a lot of evidence to show that Santana has been a victim of sexual abuse growing up, and as she gets older. I believe that she was molested or worse as a child. 

First of all, she was very hyper-sexual and had a blurry view of consent. During Madonna week when Rachel asks about sex, Santana says ‘Just do what I do, never say no’. In Never Been Kissed, Santana says ‘This is what happens when people don’t put out. If everyone just put out, we would have a winning football team’. This tells me that the hyper-sexuality she has especially in s1 and 2 is not based on self-empowerment or anything like that, but rather a feeling that she doesn’t have a choice when it comes to sex. She thinks there’s some kind of consequence for saying no, and because of that I think she has learned this from experience. In Catholic families, a lot of the time abuse is swept under the rug and she probably felt that she couldn’t speak up. I think the extended family member that abused her as a child also offered her bribes for saying quiet- and I think a lot of the time these bribes would come in the form of food. You can see before she has sex with Finn (during Like a Virgin) she is the Santana we know- confident, powerful, dominant. But when it cuts to the scene where she’s in bed with Finn, her voice sounds almost broken and she’s looking down a lot. She looks embarrassed and kind of defeated, and then she immediately says that she wants a burger. I think whoever was grooming her would take her out to get food after anything happened, and then she says to Finn ‘you’re going to have to take me to a burger joint’. Like that’s what she expects because that’s what she’s used to. 

Because of the childhood trauma, she has a skewed view of sex. In the Quarterback she tells Kurt that when she had sex with Finn he kept asking if she was okay, and stressed that he ‘meant it’, meaning she’s not used to having sexual experiences with people who care whether or not she’s okay. In the first celibacy club meeting, you can see Puck grinding on her with the balloon even after she tells him to stop. Another hint of her history of abuse is when she makes the comment to Carl the dentist about how he can ‘totally drill her whenever he wants’. This might be seen as out of line but I think that the person who groomed her taught her that she can get anything she wants through this means and that this is a way for her to get approval from older men.  

Remember in Silly Love Songs when Santana leaves and breaks down after Rachel says the only job she’s going to have is working on a pole? Santana was so upset because that’s how she saw herself at that point. That was her main source of validation, so it stung that Rachel would make that comment. 

Then there’s the comment about the roofies. In Previously Unaired Christmas, Santana wakes up and tells Rachel that the last time she ‘felt like this’ was when she was roofied at Lilith Fair. There was a Lilith Fair reboot in 2010, and I think that she went in the summer of 2010 with Quinn and Quinn’s older sister Frannie and her college friends. She and Quinn probably convinced Frannie to bring them along even though they were underage. Santana was fearless and I think at some point she got separated from the group and was roofied and date raped as a young teenager. 

She also has her sex tape leaked, by Brittany, and regardless of what Brittany’s intentions are, you can see how embarassed Santana is. 

Then, when she’s sitting in the library working by herself, you can see how embarassed she is when the other students are pointing at her and talking about her. She has no friends around her and is trying to concentrate on getting work done, but you can tell she’s preoccupied with them. 

Then, when Brittany comes in, she tells Santana that she has thought of other ways to get Santana famous, and then she goes on to list ridiculous things she could do like hoarders. Then, when Brittany introduces the bull testicle, you see Santana give up and sigh deeply- she is clearly defeated. With each suggestion Brittany offers, Santana looks more and more small and sad. Santana thought, prior to this, that even if no one else believed in her, Brittany did, but you can see that once she starts thinking that the only way Brittany thinks Santana can become famous is to be on reality tv shows or have a sex tape, you can see all of that insecurity and all of her years of being beaten down all over her face. Nobody believes in her, and nobody thinks that she can fulfill her dreams of becoming famous. 

She experiences sexual assault again, in New York. She comes in to talk to Rachel in Girls and Boys on Film, and she’s happy, but she mentions getting groped on the subway “and THEN asked me for a dollar” (remember I said she’s used to receiving bribes from people who take advantage of her). But she’s still even happier to be in New York, a place where she feels the most herself, and in typical Santana fashion, she deflects onto other people’s issues to avoid her own, and then gets Rachel to open up about the pregnancy scare. Her walls are broken down, and she’s ready to help Rachel, even though in all reality she probably walked into the apartment feeling triggered and just happy to know she has someone safe to come back to (Rachel). 

But she has a job at the Coyote Ugly bar, where Kurt and Rachel tell her she’s throwing her life away, and Kurt says that she’s getting groped for tips, which is obviously a soft spot for her. But it shows that she’s comfortable with that. 

Early Interests

Not a lot is known about Santana’s growing up years. What we do know is that Grease was probably her favourite movie her whole life, because she told Artie that she’s known Rizzo’s lines since she was a year old (obviously an exaggeration but it’s just like how Rachel knew DROMP her whole life). Her other favourite movie, or at least what she told Rory, was Leprechaun. I’ve never seen it, but Jennifer Aniston is hot af, so we will address this later when we get to her sexuality. She’s definitely more unique and #quirky than we ever get to see on the show- like she tells her mom that she’s practicing bird calls in BIOTA to explain the sounds of her dry-heaving. 

She asked Brittany to watch Sweet Valley high in Sexy, so I think that was one of her favourite shows. She has also mentioned liking Scandal and Rizzoli & Isles. She also was obviously a fan of Full House as a kid, because her mom said that when she was 8 she dressed up as Uncle Jesse for Halloween. So we know that she was a tomboy- I also think her parents let her explore this side of her- she knew how to tie a tie, as seen in Furt when Finn doesn’t know how to tie it so she ties it for him with ease. I always wondered why she knew how, but I think it’s because her dad taught her because she liked to dress up like a boy when she was little, and he probably thought it would be a good life skill for her to have. 

She doesn’t like the colour pink, at least for the first three seasons of the show. The bridesmaid dresses at her wedding are pink, and Brittany loves the colour, so either Santana chose a colour she hates because she knew it would make Brittany happy, or she grew to love it because of Britt. 

We know Santana has a great taste in music- her favourite song is ‘You Oughta Know’ by Alanis Morisette, and I think Jagged Little Pill is her favourite album. She also was the one to suggest Landslide to sing to Brittany, so I think that’s another favourite song. She didn’t know the song Songbird until Rumours week, so I think she became a Fleetwood fan that week, but I don’t think she knew them well before. She also chose Back to Black for her audition song, and sang Valerie as a solo, so it would make sense for her to be a big Amy Winehouse fan. I think it really affected her when she passed away even more than Whitney. Finally, she called Paula Abdul her ‘numero uno latina’ and said she wanted to model her fierceness after her. I think she’s a lifelong Paula fan and would watch her videos and try to recreate her dance moves. (Paula Abdul really is Syrian, and her mother is from Canada, but Paula did live in Brazil at one point). I also like to think Santana liked No Doubt and 90’s R&B. 

She makes fun of most musicals, but she was really excited about doing Rocky Horror in Glee Club and was disappointed when it was cancelled, so I think she was a fan. I also think she loved West Side Story and was really excited about playing Maria- her family probably came to watch her and brought her flowers and this would be the last big family gathering Santana would have with Abuela before Abuela rejects her. 

Cheerleading 

As far as extracurriculars I’m not sure exactly what she was involved with for the most part but we know that she was in ballet for a short time, but didn’t sustain it. In Lights Out she tells Rachel and Kurt that she studied ‘the timeless art of krunk’, so I think she was really into hip hop dancing and probably took it seriously. She probably got into hip hop through being at her studio taking ballet and switched into that. Then I’d say she was around 10 or 11 when she switched to competitive cheerleading after her experience in hip hop opened the door for her. There is a Cheer Athletics gym less than 2 hours from Lima, and Cheer Athletics is known for being one of the best all-star cheer programs in the U.S. This became her outlet and once she started in cheer, she started feeling a lot more confident because she was super talented, athletic, and a natural performer. To get a full-ride cheer scholarship to the University of Louisville, you have to be the cat’s ass, so it makes sense that she was doing all-star cheer before getting into high school and joining the Cheerios. 

Education and Work Ethic

As I said, I think Santana’s dad instilled a hard work ethic in her. In any classroom setting and sometimes in the choir room you can see her with her books open and/or working. She’s also always seen carrying around those ugly binders that are definitely full of papers and books. A good example is in Saturday Night Glee-ver when she’s sitting in the library by herself working. She also confronts and complains about Mr. Schue and says that her education isn’t a joke to her. So she values her education, and in Michael, she tells Kurt that she wants to go to college, but then going back to Saturday Night Glee-ver she seems confused about what she wants to do and even seems to think that college is a waste of time. It’s pretty late in her senior year to not have even applied to any colleges, so I think behind the scenes she had actually put in some applications but was just not sure if she wanted to go. 

She is very intelligent and in some of her one-liners, you can see that she has a really good understanding of history and culture. I think she was a gifted kid or at least very smart for her age and a straight-A student her whole life. I also think that she was one of those kids that was called an ‘old soul’ from a young age because she was always mature for her age being an only child and having spent so much time with adults growing up. Having parents who worked hard made her want to be as little of a burden on them as possible so even though she might have had an attitude at some points towards Mr. Schue, I think she was really respectful and well-behaved with her parents. An example of this is the last episode of season 3 when her mom gives her that money and she tells her mom to keep it and to go on a vacation with her dad. She is more soft-spoken when she talks to her mom than she is when she talks to other adults on the show, for example, Holly Holliday. The only time she is disrespectful to authority is when she feels like she’s been slighted. She only stands up to Sue after years of abuse, and after she had already graduated. Otherwise, she is always respectful and loyal to the point of being blindly obedient to her. 

It’s not known where Santana and Brittany are living or what they are doing after 5x13, besides Santana doing the yeast-i-stat commercial and working with Mercedes. I think she moved back to Lima between season 5 and 6 until after Brittana got married- Brittany was teaching dance and Santana was working in another restaurant and maybe helping coach cheerleading with Sue or at her old gym. After they get married, I think Santana and Brittany move back to New York together. She enrolls at NYU and studies something like Media or Communications and then goes to law school after she graduates. I can see her working in Human Rights and fighting against injustices because it was always something she was naturally great at, like the time that she taped the recorder to her underboob because of what happened to Blaine. 

Bullying and Friendship 

In Santana’s wedding vows, the first thing she says is that she’s been bullied, and I’ve seen a lot of people confused about her saying that. 90% of the time, Santana is strong, confident, and fearless. That said, she does seem to have a weak spot, and that is when she feels like she’s being targeted or bullied. She’s super sensitive and has very thin skin for any kind of attack. Rachel, who had been canonically bullied for two seasons said it herself- Santana can dish it out but she can’t take it. 

When Sebastian makes a comment to her about her relatives in prison and sending a pinata to them, she is speechless and looks very hurt- and there’s no classic Santana comeback. She just looks sad and sits down. 

When Sebastian walks up to her and shoves her, she looks scared but just stands there, and when he calls her ‘Sha-Queer-a’ she looks upset for a moment (but then she gives it back to him). Then when they walk out, she looks upset again, and you can tell she took it to heart.

When the rugby kid comes up to her before I Kissed a Girl and says that he’s going to ‘straighten her out’ you can see her take in a deep breath and it’s hard to miss the vulnerability on her face. 

Finally, when she doesn’t get elected prom queen she is almost inconsolable and says to Brittany ‘I’m going to be an outcast my whole life’. This tells me that she has always felt like an outcast, and here’s how I think this happened…

I think when Santana was very young, she really did live in a place called ‘Lima Heights’. I think at this point her family didn’t have a lot of money, and this is where she went to school in kindergarten. Since she always says ‘lima heights’ when she is about to fight or insult someone, I think she learned how to fight at this point. ‘Garbage face’ in kindergarten was quieter than the Santana we know now, but still confident, athletic, and very smart. 

In first grade, she still lived in Lima Heights but with the help of Abuela, I think she spent a year at a private school in a nearby area. This was the same private school that Sebastian went to, and this explains why he was particularly antagonistic towards her and why she initially seemed to be afraid of him (until she destroyed him in Smooth Criminal). When Blaintana meet Sebastian in the parking garage in Michael he asks if that’s what they teach them at that public school, and I think it’s aimed at both of them. The best way that I could describe this Santana is as Lilo from Lilo and Stitch. She was an old soul, liked older music, and had trouble fitting in. One reason for this is because other students at this private school made fun of her for being poor. 

Since these kids were high-income and from gated community kind of families, I think that they were very sneaky when it came to the way that they bullied her, because reputation was the most important thing and they knew it, even at that age. They would run away from her and make comments to her under their breath in a way that teachers wouldn’t notice. Santana, being Santana, wasn’t as discrete and would fight back and attack them physically (another Lilo trait). This got her in trouble and labeled as a bad kid because it was so different from what the other kids were doing. This is where Santana learned to be sneaky and manipulative because these six-year-olds knew how to have control over adults. 

Even though she was an outcast, she was very much an underdog and would surprise the other kids with her skills in spelling and gym class. She didn’t have any friends and had a miserable year, and every day she would come home and beg to change schools. Abuela, who paid the private school tuition, refused, blaming Santana for getting in trouble so much and saying that she needs to see it through. Finally, though, after her teacher had confirmed to her mom that she seemed miserable and had no friends, her mom agreed to let her change to a public school. This is where she meets Rachel. 

Pezberry 

Santana, after being bullied at her private school, starts second grade at Rachel Berry’s school. She’s lost some of her spark by the time she gets to this school, and on the first day, Rachel spots her standing by herself in the schoolyard. The best way to picture this is like the ‘We are Young’ scene- I think this is exactly what it looked like the day they met. Rachel comes and takes her hand and they become instant best friends. Rachel is the same Rachel as she was in season 1, just a miniature version- an overachiever, dedicated to singing and dancing. Santana only started singing because it was something that Rachel liked to do, and they always performed on Rachel’s basement stage and at their school talent shows. It was an “us against the world” kind of friendship, and they told eachother everything. I’m going to get more into this when I talk about her sexuality, but Santana and Rachel were best friends and as close as they could be until high school. 

When Santana gets to high school, she meets Quinn. Santana, Quinn and Brittany bully Rachel throughout freshman year and Santana completely cuts Rachel off, leaving her heartbroken and confused. Remember there was a period of time where Rachel and Kurt weren’t even friends so Rachel, despite being involved in all of her clubs, really didn’t have any friends. Even though she befriended Santana when Santana was alone, Rachel stays loyal to her and never tries to stoop to her level because she’s holding out hope that they’ll be able to find eachother again. 

Santana enjoys being on the Cheerios, but her friendship with Quinn isn’t anything like what she had with Rachel. In freshman year, she feels like she has to put on a front and act in a certain way in order to be accepted. She and Quinn hardly ever talk about their past or their insecurities, so it’s a very surfacey friendship. Most of her friendships are surfacey at this point so in freshman and sophomore year, until she joins Glee Club, she feels very alone. In To Sir, With Love, Santana looks more upset than anyone else in the Glee Club about it being cancelled and you can see how emotional she is about being thankful to Mr. Schue. Her lyrics are ‘a friend who taught me right from wrong, and weak from strong, that’s a lot to learn’. I think this is a real turning point for her, and I think Glee made her realize how much of a wall she’s put up and is finally starting to embrace her whole self and do what makes her happy. 

Eating Disorder & Self-Esteem (TW!!) 

There was at least one reference in each of season 1-3 to Santana having an eating disorder. 

In Home, Mercedes asks Santana and Brittany how they stay so skinny, and after the Master Cleanse is explained Santana says ‘you can either feel terrible and look great, or get kicked off of the team when that reporter gets here’. 

At Nationals, Rachel walks into the bathroom and as soon as she hears someone throwing up she calls out ‘Santana?’ thinking it’s her throwing up.  The only issue with that is that when she went to the dentist Carl said that Santana had perfect teeth, which is almost impossible with bulimia. I think Santana just had a nervous/irritable stomach and Rachel knew that. In BIOTA Santana was talking about how she had been dry-heaving all weekend and that she threw up in the school bathroom. Either way, the incidents of vomiting would have to be relatively rare for her to have perfect teeth. Sue makes two references to Santana “wetting herself” (1x14 and 3x01)- it’s just another Sue thing but in 1x14 she’s looking down a lot, and if she did have serious trauma that would be an explanation. 

Early in season 3, I think in Pot of Gold, Mercedes asks Mr. Schue when they’re supposed to eat because she feels like they have no free time. Santana says “when the rest of us do”, and Mercedes responds with “oh, like you eat!” and then we get this face: 

Also, she is the first to notice Marley’s eating disorder and the first to call out Kitty for what she was doing. She picked up on all of it right away without even knowing either of them. 

When Santana brings up the laxative thing to Quinn, Quinn tells Santana that she’s “projecting”, and so I think both of their (Quinn and Santana) self-esteem issues fed off of eachother in that friendship. I don’t know if Santana really was jealous of Quinn from the beginning, but she obviously was during this storyline, because she’s struggling at UofL with having no friends and not feeling like she belongs anywhere. She is jealous of Quinn, because Quinn is acting like she’s found her place at Yale and that’s why Santana has to attack it- that’s how she deals with her self-esteem issues. Then Quinn calls it out- “you want everyone to think you’re such a badass but really you’re just a scared little girl with low self-esteem who’s too frightened to chase her dreams”. Santana deflects immediately, because that’s what she does- she knew Quinn was right. 

Santana was always preoccupied with how she looked and how other people saw her. She got a boob job going into junior year of high school, and since she was a minor, she would have had to have permission from someone, and someone would also have had to pay for it. I think that she was able to convince her parents to let her get it, because they had seen her struggle with self-esteem for so long and she probably was able to manage to come up with a good argument, probably in the form of a powerpoint presentation. 

At Nationals when Quinn is talking about wanting to tell Mr. Schue about Rachel and Kurt sneaking off, Santana says that ‘this is the only chance we have to actually feel good about ourselves’. When they lose, she gets extremely angry with Rachel and stays mad at her longer than anyone else, even making a voodoo doll of Rachel because she can’t let it go. Also, don’t forget at sectionals in season 1 when she tells the Glee Club not to tell anyone, but Glee Club is the best part of her day. She goes and sits down and looks really sad about possibly losing their chances at the competition. So I think Glee Club was a big source of self-worth for her and that it changed her life in a lot of ways. This picture shows how heartbroken she looks when they lose at regionals- you can even see that Brittany looks like she’s more worried about Santana than she is about the fact that she lost (you can see it on Britt’s face and how she’s cradling Santana’s hand). 

One habit that I keep noticing is that she plays with her hands when she’s nervous or bored. You can see her doing this when she’s talking to Holly Holliday in the sacred sexy sharing circle, and pretty much in any vulnerable moment Santana is playing with her hands. Rubbing your hands is a self-comforting gesture and I think it’s her way of self-soothing. You can see her doing it here: 

Going back to Saturday Night Glee-ver, Santana goes through the episode between the sex tape and the scholarship feeling worthless, and like nobody believed in her. Then when Sue hands her the scholarship, she has this cute face where she’s a combination of surprised and proud and embarassed. Then, she’s over the moon when she learns that the scholarship was Brittany’s idea- she was thinking that Brittany thought she wasn’t good enough for anything but a silly reality show, and she says “just to know that I have somebody who believes in me as much as you do, I love you so much” 

Sexuality 

I talked about Santana being hyper-sexual earlier, but with that I was more referring to her with men before coming out. It’s definitely important to get into Santana’s sexuality and coming out. 

When Santana comes out to the Cheerios, in the deleted scene, she talks about not knowing whether she was a lesbian and just thinking it was a fun thing. This makes sense, and you can almost pinpoint the exact time where she realizes she’s a lesbian in season 2. When she talks to Holly with Brittany, she says that she’s attracted to girls and guys, she’s made out with a mannequin, and had a sex dream about a shrub that was in the shape of a person. She couldn’t distinguish sex from love and I don’t think she ever wanted to have sex with a man, it was just something she was used to and a way of getting ahead and becoming more popular. 

She and Brittany had been hooking up since at least season 1, so for at least a year before she came out. I think, though, even though she maybe wasn’t sure that she was a lesbian, she had a sense that she was different. 

In Lights Out, when she talks about being in ballet, she said that she felt ‘safe there… and not different’, which shows that she has always felt out of place and that there was something different about her. She probably had always noticed that she felt something watching movies and tv shows and felt embarassed in certain scenarios but couldn’t figure out why. 

Maybe part of the reason that Santana ditches Rachel when they get to high school is because something happened between the two of them, like a kiss or more than that, and neither of them knew what to make of it, and it scared Santana more than Rachel because Rachel had two dads and felt comfortable with the idea of being gay more than Santana was, because Santana was raised in a religious family. 

University of Louisville & The Energy Exchange 

Santana goes off to Louisville, and you can tell from what she says to Britt that she was really busy with cheerleading and school. I think she has always had a hard time making friends, and that becomes even more evident when she quickly drops out of school because people didn’t like her. She was miserable and couldn’t figure out how to fit in. As far as that girl that she ‘looked at’ before she broke up with Brittany, I think being there in Kentucky by herself had her lost in her own head and she found a way to convince herself that she somehow wasn’t worthy of Britt because she looked at someone else. 

The reality was that she was totally alone there- the cheer team had a rigorous schedule that took up most of her time, but when she was alone, she was really alone. She didn’t want to talk to anyone about it- she knew it would upset Brittany and she didn’t want to let her parents down. She didn’t know how to get people to like her. She’s sitting by herself studying in the library and thinks she’s a terrible person for smiling at someone. For one interaction in a place where she’s by herself. 

I think Santana went into her freshman year with no major declared, but UofL does have a lot of programs that I think would interest her. There’s a great vocal music program, criminal justice studies, spanish and latin studies, and I think she dabbled in those. I imagine that her grades were good, because it’s Santana and her only two speeds are “awesome or not at all”, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that she was miserable and alone while she was there. 

We never really get to see her life in Louisville, but we know that she’s there until at least the holiday break, because when she goes to New York for Christmas she tells Rachel she can’t just leave in the middle of the school year. She probably drags herself back for the Winter term, but it’s even more painful for her because she knows how much she doesn’t want to go back. She goes anyway, though, and eventually drops out. 

If she drops out of school a month before Diva, without telling her mom or Brittany, it’s up to our imagination where she actually lives in this month. She probably stayed with Rachel in New York after Naked, and then came back for Diva, and then moved back to New York officially. 

Pezberry Fight & Defensive Santana

I think Rachel was the first person Santana came out to, and vice versa with Rachel. And when I say ‘came out’ I mean, they had conversations about their feelings about girls but neither of them knew what it meant. 

The “plot hole” of Santana’s moving to New York is that she doesn’t have a bed there, and little to no space to put her own belongings. I think New York is where Santana and Rachel really did have a relationship that started out as friends with benefits, and maybe a lot of it had to do with the roommate situation. It probably started out with Rachel once or twice inviting Santana to sleep in her bed, after they watched a scary movie or just because they were having fun and wanted to keep talking. Then Santana got used to it, and at first she refused to be the one to ask if she could sleep in there- she always waited for Rachel to ask her. Eventually she started figuring out ways to ask to sleep in there that wouldn’t damage her persona- she’d come and stand in the doorway and say “my back hurts from sleeping on the couch” and Rachel would invite her in. 

There’s so much Pezberry stuff out there so I won’t get too much into it, but I’m going to try to link this post that I think explains the Pezberry season 5 fight aka horror story. 

https://lopeirce.tumblr.com/post/96421635810/can-we-talk-about-this-moment-for-a-sec-well-this

She tends to ‘sabotage’ (aka expose) people the most when she feels out of control. For example, after Blaine sings Last Friday Night, she immediately goes to Rory and delivers that rant. When she feels alone because everyone has a valentine except for her, she kisses Finn to prove that he and Quinn are cheating together. It’s a way to feel like she’s in control somehow, and she eventually grew out of it, but that was one of her ways of self-protection. 

Dancing and Choir Room Reactions 

When Santana starts out in Glee Club, she’s almost always miserable-scoffing and rolling her eyes at everything. As the show goes on, it becomes more inconsistent because at some points you see her dancing and having fun and at other times she’s doing the old eye roll. I think she really was always having fun in Glee Club and enjoying other people’s performances, and loved to dance and be on stage. There are times when she is still unhappy but those are either moments where there’s drama that you can pinpoint (for example Last Friday Night, she’s mad because she thinks Blaine is going to get all the solos) or because she’s feeling self-conscious. Overall, though, it’s fun to watch her enjoy other people’s performances and let loose, because you can tell she really enjoys the music. 

Valerie 

I think Santana was really nervous about doing her first solo (Valerie). She had never performed a solo in her life, and you can tell from her body language at the beginning of the number and the way that Brittany and Rachel are playing with her hair, talking to her, and Rachel seems to say something along the lines of “you got it” before Santana starts singing. I think even though she and Rachel were fighting before this number, Santana confided in Rachel about how nervous she was, and maybe she got sick before and that could have been the reason that Rachel thought it was Santana in the bathroom at Nationals. 

Santana as a Friend 

Santana really does have a lot of good friendship moments. She stands up to Karofsky for Blaine and Kurt, stands up to Sebastian for Blaine, and gives really good no-nonsense pep talks (my personal favourite is when she told Brittany she is the unicorn and that she’s a genius, and hyped her up to run for president, and the “you and I only have to speeds: awesome or not at all” scene with Rachel. 

She also has such a sweet, nurturing side. You normally see it with Britt, but I’ve seen her being motherly with Sam Kurt and another really sweet moment is her taking care of sick Mercedes: 

When Rachel and Kurt kick her out because of Brody, you can see how shocked, broken, and disappointed she is. She doesn’t even believe them at first. She says, letting her guard down for a second, “you’re my family”. She does everything to protect Rachel from Brody- confronting him, calling Finn, trapping him. People don’t give her the recognition she deserves for how loyal she is and how much she fights for her people. 

Okay, I think I’m going to end it here, but that was fun. I might do it with other characters, but let me know what you think :) 

The problem with Trevor

Throughout my life I’ve been a fan of many different properties. And, as I’m a fan of them, I try my best to reach out and make some connections with people who share that interest. Along the way, I’ve come across many bad takes for many different things. Shameless (US) is one of those fandoms that have an assortment of bad takes in its space. For the most part, I’ve been able to address things and then move on. But, there’s been one take that has plagued me and driven me up the wall.

“People hate Trevor because he’s not toxic.”

This was something that was said to me to justify why some in the Shameless fandom didn’t vibe with Trevor. Not only do I find this an odd stance to take, it’s also just not correct. And I want to break down what is wrong with this statement.

But first, let me address something. Some of the hate towards Trevor is unwarranted. Some of the hate towards Trevor is unfair. And some of it is straight up transphobic. Those reasons are wrong, invalid, and will not be present in this analysis of mine and if I see it happening, I will block you. With that being said, I will go on to explain the valid reasons why I, and many others, do not enjoy Trevor as a character.

At first, I was inclined to like Trevor. He seemed nice enough (if a bit bland), gave representation to queer trans men (of which they have few), and he introduced Ian to the queer world. Why wouldn’t I like that? But, slowly, he started to bother me in many different ways. There was a pretentious element to him, an arrogance and rudeness that he showed in reference to Ian. There was a demand that Ian understand every facet of him but, in the same breath, refused to extend that back.

I tried to ignore these feelings out of guilt. I didn’t want to hate the trans character who was helping Ian to know his community. Then one scene struck me, made me angry. Monica had come back to town and Ian was uncomfortable and upset by her presence. He tried to voice these emotions to Trevor but, as I said, Trevor never tried to understand Ian’s feelings. He brushes Ian’s feelings aside and tells him he needs to get over it. Ian leaves with anger filling his veins. And never once did Trevor apologize for overstepping his bounds. Now, I will admit, the scene was a bit messy and Ian didn’t look very good himself. But that was my first true bitter taste for Trevor forming.

Still, I was determined to like him. That was, until I watched season 8.

Season 8 is a bit of a polarizing topic within the Shameless fandom. Some appreciate the decision to show the character’s less than desirable attributes unashamedly. Others feel it’s a bit too mean spirited. Whatever side of the fence you stand on though, a lot of people seem to agree that this is the season where it was abundantly clear how little Trevor cares about Ian’s wellbeing.

Throughout the season, it was abundantly clear that Ian was going through a manic episode. Ian becomes obsessive, angry, aggressive, downright cruel at some points. He is sinking and we are watching as everyone else turns a blind eye to his increasingly erratic behavior. Including Trevor.

Trevor, who has dedicated his life to those in trouble, offers no help to Ian in what is clearly a mental health crisis. In fact, for the majority of the season, Trevor sits back with a smirk on his face as Ian fights for his cause. He allows Ian to sink into his obsession, anger, aggression because it ultimately benefits him and what he cares for. Ian is walking closer and closer to the edge and those around him are choosing to not step in, not offer help. Instead, they wrinkle their noses in disgust and get angry at Ian for being in the way of their goals. And ultimately that is what happens with Trevor.

Slowly, Trevor begins to realize that Ian’s actions and behaviors are no longer reflecting well on his cause. There is also the ego bruise that Ian is now no longer focused on Trevor anymore which he voices to Fiona. He offers some hollow words about how he hopes that Ian is taking care of himself (ie; taking his medication). But I say hollow because when Ian finally breaks down and seeks out Trevor out of fear and exhaustion, Trevor offers him no help. He just rolls his eyes at Ian and accuses him of loving the growing attention (and hostility associated with that attention). He calls him selfish and then he walks away, leaving Ian feeling even more lost and tired. Ian was calling out for help in that scene and was instead scolded like he was a spoiled child throwing a fit at the supermarket. Shortly after this, Ian sets fire to a van and gets arrested. Trevor is never seen again.

I wanted to like Trevor. I wanted to be on Trevor’s side. I wanted to root for his relationship with him. I felt guilty whenever I cringed away from him. I felt like a hypocrite that his actions were affecting me in such a strong and visceral way when I can forgive other characters for the same. It took me months to finally admit to myself that I didn’t like Trevor. And I was truly heartbroken when I came to that conclusion.

The problem with Trevor is not that he is trans. The problem with Trevor is not that he’s not Mickey. The problem is that he was meant to be the solution. He was meant to be the better choice for Ian as opposed to Mickey. The Shameless writers did everything in their power to convince us that Trevor was kind, thoughtful, mature, and loved Ian. But more often than not he was shown to be petty, bitter, self righteous, and condescending beyond words. In the writers efforts to create a character that is supposed to be the definition of good they instead shone a light on his bad characteristics. For every act of kindness we would see him partake in there was him putting pressure on Ian to get into a relationship. There was the dismissal of Ian’s trauma and abuse. There was the lack of empathy when Ian was going through grief. There was the use of fat men to boost his ego. There was the benefiting from Ian’s declining mental health. And those things became harder to ignore when the writers seemed to be deep in denial about the cruelty they put in him. So, no. People don’t hate Trevor because he’s “not toxic.” People hate him because he’s not a good fit for Ian.