American Measurements - Tumblr Posts

I love you, and as an European who's trying to learn some of these measurements, I feel your pain.

Don't get me started on the measurement system

OKAY, LET ME TALK ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT.

First of all, I'm American. But even I have no idea what the fuck is going on with our measurement system? I genuinely cannot comprehend distance of any sort.

Feet? Do you want feet? Do you fucking like feet?

And fucking miles??? With a comical number of feet???

WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS AN ACRE. ALL I KNOW IS THAT I LIVE ON EIGHTY OF THOSE BASTARDS.

WHAT THE FUCK IS A CUP. I HAVE A CUP, BUT APPARENTLY IT'S NOT A CUP IN MEASUREMENT? IT'S A FUCKING CUP.

How come a five-gallon bucket just looks like it would only hold one gallon of milk? Who decided that this was legal?

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE GODDAMN CONVERSION RATES? I HAVE TO GOOGLE THAT SHIT ALL THE TIME.

The only one that makes any goddamn sense here is Fahrenheit, and that's because that stupid fucker reflects how hot it feels. You don't wanna be out with your buddies and be like "Damn it's hot, what's the temperature?" and have your buddy John, who's consistently drunk, who dropped out of high school, and who is probably making meth in his basement, tell you to your face, "Oh it's about forty degrees," when you're sweating your balls (or lack of balls!) off and the sun is purposefully aiming to murder YOU SPECIFICALLY.

Fuck these measurements.

Don't get me started on the measurement system

OKAY, LET ME TALK ABOUT THIS BULLSHIT.

First of all, I'm American. But even I have no idea what the fuck is going on with our measurement system? I genuinely cannot comprehend distance of any sort.

Feet? Do you want feet? Do you fucking like feet?

And fucking miles??? With a comical number of feet???

WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS AN ACRE. ALL I KNOW IS THAT I LIVE ON EIGHTY OF THOSE BASTARDS.

WHAT THE FUCK IS A CUP. I HAVE A CUP, BUT APPARENTLY IT'S NOT A CUP IN MEASUREMENT? IT'S A FUCKING CUP.

How come a five-gallon bucket just looks like it would only hold one gallon of milk? Who decided that this was legal?

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE GODDAMN CONVERSION RATES? I HAVE TO GOOGLE THAT SHIT ALL THE TIME.

The only one that makes any goddamn sense here is Fahrenheit, and that's because that stupid fucker reflects how hot it feels. You don't wanna be out with your buddies and be like "Damn it's hot, what's the temperature?" and have your buddy John, who's consistently drunk, who dropped out of high school, and who is probably making meth in his basement, tell you to your face, "Oh it's about forty degrees," when you're sweating your balls (or lack of balls!) off and the sun is purposefully aiming to murder YOU SPECIFICALLY.

Fuck these measurements.