Amusements - Tumblr Posts
ppl are always writing characters doing dumb shit like roasting a fresh-caught rabbit over an open flame instead of making a stew with that thing. great now you’re letting all the fat drip down into the fire as it cooks, wasting calories and flavor as well as causing the flame to flare up = inconsistent heat source,… when you could be maximizing the nutritional value of small game by making a soup or stew. Come on
there's no greater betrayal than finally starting to read a book you've had sitting for months on your shelf or your desk or your nightstand and then finding out it's bad. like. i gave you a fucking home.
now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck
Being nonhuman fucks. Oh, you think a regular ass person sold you your pastries?
Wrong. Wolf.
Girls will be like “oh I’m just running quick some errands” and then spend all day in the wetlands appreciating the unique flora and fauna
sorry about the blood loss. do you uh. want it back *holds out my red dripping hands awkwardly*
Feel like normal life is wearing you down?
Want to give up on human society?
Well you can!
BECOME A CRYPTID!!!
Just follow these steps and you too can become a much beloved monster like the mothman.
Abandon all of your loved ones and material possessions.
Escape into the wilderness and hide your face from the sun and your fellow men.
Start haunting abandoned buildings or visiting public places like the local park at night
Grow 6 feet tall or even taller and develop glowing eyes and a raspy growl.
Coincide your appearances with bad events.
Kidnap local children for sustenance (optional)
Congrats! You have successfully become a cryptid! Now get out there and put the spooks into people you sexy, scary thing.
i think the best genre of image is "creatures trapped in starbucks cups with receipts reading [cup of water (no water, no ice, creature)]"
