Anarexx - Tumblr Posts
I hate myself, I can’t control myself I need to purge but I am not alone in home
I need some help 😭😭😭😔🥺🤬🤬
I'm so sorry I really am I really was gonna do it, but I had a full on binge yesterday and it sent me spiraling down.
I'm going to the gym tonight and I'm going to do a body check. No excuses this time!
food log for 6/26/20
1 Cup of black coffee (1 cal.) 4 green beans (7 cal.) 6 doritos (75 cal) 1 egg (78 cal) feel like it might come up if ya know what I mean might edit this later bc the day hasn’t ended yet.
>this is something that happened to me yesterday >Feel so sick you’re willing to shove food down your throat even though you know you might throw it up on the spot >go to taco bell >binge (1 crunchwrap, 1 chicken soft taco, and a couple tortilla chips) >surprisingly don’t throw it up as soon as it hits your stomach >get home >realize how much weight you're probably gonna gain >have a complete fucking panic attack >purge as much as you can >ppl are asking you if you puked cos they heard the gagging >lie and say your shit smelled so bad you were gagging >add extra details to the lie to make it sound more believable >somehow lose weight the next day? (don’t know how that happened, but im thankful nonetheless)
anyone wanna be ana buddies?
•13-17
•preferably american but i really don't care
•will send thinspo and meanspo
•lgbtq+ or ally
:))
July 28, 2020
breakfast:
nothing - 0
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lunch:
green tea - 0
half an apple - 47
peanut butter - 142
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dinner:
pasta and broccoli - 350 :(
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exercise:
dance - 100
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total: 439
July 29, 2020
breakfast:
nothing - 0
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lunch:
japanese teriyaki noodles - 280
saltines - 60
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dinner:
vegetarian chicken sandwich - 190
tater tots - 320
green tea - 0
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snacks:
nothing - 0
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exercise:
ab workout - 496
leg workout - 47
45 minutes walk - 117
dance class - 300
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total: -110
OKAY SO WHEN IS IT MY TURN TO LOOK LIKE THIS
can we just talk about cassie ainsworth
"i didn't eat for 3 days so i could be lovely."
fUCKING MOOD-
okay it's been two hours and i'm already back down to 111.6 so let's hope that it keeps going down 🙈
how ✍️ to ✍️ break ✍️ a ✍️ weight ✍️ loss ✍️ plateau ✍️
I feel like such an ass i was sitting and eating and i felt everything close up and on my spoon i just saw myself inflate but its like i could feel it happening like i was floating
i feel like i overate, so i’m gonna do a food log (without calories bc i didn’t count them) and maybe that will calm me down or make me feel worse ;)
for breakfast i had at least 20 frozen grapes and two slices of sweet melon because it wasn’t really that good
at lunch everyone ate burgers, but i only ate like 3/4 of the meat my uncle served me, along with 4 fries (i think that’s what is bugging me)
i’ve drank so much fucking diet coke it’s pathetic, i think i might’ve gained from that
at dinner i ate a little bit of thai rice, but left a lot on my plate, so i cooked myself some broccoli so my mom wouldn’t be sus
i ate like 2 apples today or something like that and they were supposed to be my safe foods but lately i’m kinda scared of them
yesterday i binged on h2oh! (which has 0 kcals, but it made me feel so full idk) and frozen grapes and an apple, and i am aware that binging on fruit is probably a 1000 times better than binging on sweets, yet i still feel worthless, a failure and invalid.
i walked 10+km today, but i’ve been doing that for a little over a week and it doesn’t seem as hard anymore, maybe that’s my ‘ed’ talking, but if it doesn’t feel as hard, maybe i’m not making any progress.
i just wanna be the best at this, and no matter what i do, i always feel like i’m nowhere being good.