And Also Stagnation - Tumblr Posts

Depressed farm boy dress up time, featuring (another farm boy) long haired butch lesbian Jim Kirk (actually me just wearing a yellow sweater over a black shirt, woah)

Having a really hard time focusing on the task at hand. Navigating manipulation and what feels like psychological warfare from my parents. It’s an intense struggle to sit and think about it, to write things down. To imagine a path forward that sounds appealing.

I spent the morning in a meeting with my parents, then made breakfast and talked to Matthew about the meeting, taking notes. My intention for the afternoon was to work on my response to my parents but I kept finding myself glued to my phone.

Tried to pry myself away, to do something with my body. I stretched. I tried to do a push up, lol. I tried to imagine a me I would want to be.

That’s when I decided to look through Matthew’s closet to dress up. And found a yellow sweater I was hoping for, imagine that.

Need to transition to a “less coping, more problem solving” demeanor but I am failing to do so. I am attempting to organize my thoughts.

Loud rain and thunder today. A mysterious explosion sound in the late evening.

I want to call forth some courage with inspiration from Jim. Courage to “turn death into a fighting chance to live” or whatever.