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Lostale Chapter 2 - Wake-up Call

This is a quiet, calm chapter that mostly takes place in Toriel's sitting room, where pleasant breakfast conversation is discussed. You know, like about how you're trapped beneath a barrier and your only escape is to die or to kill someone else. Fun talk! 

Warning for vague references to planned death, characters getting emotional, and some quality puns.

The darkness surrounding you was warm. You never wanted to leave this nice, comforting oblivion. There was a soothing static surrounding your thoughts, muting the hurt they caused. You felt like you could stay here forever or for no time at all, and everything would pass on by.

…Something called for your attention, breaking through the haze. It was sweet, coaxing, and made you think of soft things. It was warmth and kindness, and even though those thoughts hurt… you found yourself rising to wakefulness.

“Please wake up, my child. It is time to rise and break your fast.” The voice was unfamiliar but gentle, and you knew that it was talking to you. You didn’t want to listen, but you didn’t have much choice from where you were lying down. “Come, you have slept for long enough.”

You shifted groggily, hearing the rustle of blankets and feeling a soft surface beneath you. No matter how much you slept, it never seemed like enough. You wanted to sleep forever, and let the empty world pass on without you. It wasn’t like anyone wanted you there, anymore. There wasn’t anyone…

Which was why you were confused about the voice. Who could be calling out to you? Why were they asking you to wake up? You didn’t want to wake up. Life wasn’t about what you wanted, though, and you felt slumber slipping farther away.

When a hand landed on your shoulder and shook you gently, you forced your eyes open. The first thing you saw was purple, purple fabric and white fur. Had someone dressed up a gigantic stuffed teddy bear? It was only when you saw the face that you remembered what happened before you last fell asleep… or as had actually happened, collapsed unconscious into a goat lady’s arms.

You had sobbed yourself into sleep in a strangers arms; how embarrassing. Of course, you knew her – knew practically everyone in the Underground that you could come across – but to her, you were just a random human that fell apart. She comforted you despite that lack of familiarity, so you owed it to her to get up like she was asking. So you did.

Her hand slipped off your shoulder as you rose, blankets pooling around your waist and warm air rushing to surround you in its place. Even as you shifted, it still felt as if gravity pulled down on your chest, a heavy weight pressing inwards even as you became more vertical than horizontal. It didn’t matter how you felt, though – you owed it to Toriel to try, in thanks for her not flaming you but instead taking you to safety.

…You assumed she had taken you to safety, what with the soft surface you had just been sleeping on. Looking past her, blearily rubbing at your eyes in an attempt to focus them, you could see a wardrobe and a table with a lamp on it. You were inside a house, then – probably her house. You stared at Toriel for several seconds before you realized that you should probably respond to her calls. “…I’m awake.”

Her smile in reply was enough for you to know you had been right to speak. “Very good, my child! Now, please, come with me and I shall see to your nourishment!” She rose from where she had been leaning beside your bed, and waited by the door. She seemed perfectly content to just stand there, a little smile on her face.

You didn’t want her to have to wait on your account. You tiredly began mustering your energy, preparing to either speak again or rise to follow her. Zombie-like in your automatic motions, you swung your legs out of bed, the limbs thudding like lead weights against the floor and side of the bed. You stared blankly for a moment, trying to remember what you were about to do next. … Oh, that was it.

You mechanically push the last of the covers off your lap, and lever yourself upwards. You swayed as you stood, but all in all, you were successful in standing. You debated whether this was worth a pat on the back in reward or a smack on the head for not doing so earlier.

Toriel seemed pleased, and finally left the room. You followed her, not knowing what else to do. You wanted to go back to sleep, but that didn’t seem like an option right now. Not with Toriel leading the way, humming quietly as she ushered you towards a chair at the table. You blinked when you realized you were staring at the tabletop in the dining room. When did that happen?

Several blinks later, you felt warmth besides you, and you looked up to see Toriel placing a plate and cup before you. Your mind slowly focused, finally whirring into gear, as you took a blind sip from the glass. You vaguely registered tasting something sweet and warm, and then something crunchy and oddly tangy as you ate.

“Do you like the food, my child?” Toriel asked, her own plate empty as she leaned forward. You looked down at your equally empty plate – for the life of you, you had no idea what you’d just eaten. You didn’t remember anything tasting really bad, so you gave her a little nod, head jerking up and down on fraying puppet strings. Her smile made the effort more than worth it. “I am very glad to hear this; I no longer have the opportunity to cook for others as often as I would like.” Her smile grew melancholy, and you finally felt yourself snap into the present moment.

A veil seemed to lift from the world around you as you finally woke up. Toriel needed you right now. “Thank you,” you began hesitatingly, noting how smooth your throat felt, how softly your voice came out. “I really appreciated the food.” You took an additional second to brace yourself, to gather your facilities. What should you be doing right now? What did Toriel need? What was she expecting you to do?

…Ah. She was probably expecting you to be afraid, or need more clarification about monsters and the Underground. “Where am I?” you asked, more strongly than before.

Toriel paused before answering you, examining you thoughtfully. “You are in my home within the Ruins, my child. It lies within the far end of the Underground, home to the monsters banished from the surface.” You wondered how much you could be expected to know about monsters; the game had been entirely unclear on the human world outside.

“I…think I heard a story about monsters, before,” you began. “That they were sealed away, locked behind a magic barrier.” You find yourself smiling slightly as you speak, knowing how your words were true and yet a lie at the same time. “I thought it was just a tale, something someone made up.” That someone being Toby Fox, of course – that would be the Annoying Dog, here. You wondered if you’d run into him, and what he’d say to you. …Bark, bark, probably.

The smile Toriel gave you in return was very sad as she spoke. “I am afraid that this is no faerie tale, my child. We monsters are all very real and inescapably trapped by the Barrier – and now that you have fallen here, you are captured within its boundaries as well.” She rose to her feet, elegance in every movement despite how tall and sturdy she was. Crossing the room in several steady strides, she reached down and plucked a book from the bookshelf. She returned to the table, neatly sliding the book beside your plate.

“Here is a portion of our history, carefully created since the construction of the barrier. If you wish to learn more, you may peruse its contents while I attend to the food and the kitchen. When I return, I would be willing to answer any questions that you may have.” Toriel gently placed her hand on your head, ruffling your already messy hair and sending it into further disarray. She smoothed your hair back down, before stepping aside and heading towards the kitchen. You idly wonder whether or not she has a hairbrush before you turn your attention to the book.

It was a slim volume, and you didn’t think this was anywhere near a large enough to contain the monster’s history since being trapped underground. How many decades, centuries, or even millennia had the monsters been down here? Surely it was more than enough to have a proper full-sized book? You began flipping through the pages, skimming for anything that hadn’t been mentioned within the game.

Your memory of the game was somewhat fuzzy at this point – though not half as fuzzy as Toriel – but just looking through these pages was enough to rekindle your knowledge. It mentioned the war with the humans, the barrier being risen, the monsters migration to the far end of the caves, the hard days where monsters slowly adjusted to their new lives, how despair and hope filled the Underground in equal turns, how the king and queen had inspired happiness amongst their subjects, how one day they felt settled enough they had created a child of their own, how a human fell into the Underground, how there was finally hope for peace, how the monsters list their fear and slowly spread across the caverns, how both of the royal family’s children had died, how the king declared war against humans and the underground fell into despair once more, how monsters Fell Down and died…

You gently closed the book and sighed, feeling even emptier at the thought of the monsters’ hardships. They didn’t deserve to be locked down here, just because humans were a bunch of paranoid, war-mongering bastards. You knew that the humans’ fears were almost completely unjustified – the only monster who had ever desired the power that the humans were terrified of, was a soulless creature who was acting based on his memories of how his human friend would have acted. …That was the issue, of course; humans were always all-too willing to grab for power, to help or to harm. It was difficult to imagine a race of beings that were made of positive emotions and magic, that had no real desire for power or the other stupid things humans always dreamed of and fought for…killed for.

The only reason that you knew better, yourself, was because you’d met and befriended all the monsters – even if it was only virtual versions of them within a game. You knew that none of them should be trapped down here, living their lives of forced cheer and failing hope. Your ragged nails bit into your hands as you clenched your fists tight, anger clawing its way to the surface of your mind. This wasn’t right. Your teeth bared in a snarl as you stared at the unintentionally damning book.

You wanted to do something, somehow – anything. What could you do, though, pathetic human that you were? The anger faded quickly, sinking back into darkness and despair. You felt your face slip, emotions dripping like the tears that were once more slipping down your cheeks. You used one of your still clenched hands to wipe the tears away, not sure if they were from anger or sadness. It didn’t really matter, now did it?

“Child?” You duck your head down at the call, trying to hide your crying. You didn’t need to bother Toriel with another breakdown, not after you had forced her to deal with the mess that was you already. Your attempt was for naught, as you felt a warmth settle at your side. There was a gentle pressure against your shoulder, and you let it tug you into the furry mass. You bury your head into the fabric, once more being held by the giant goat mom who was really too good for this world. Too good to be trapped Underground. Too good to be trapped alone within the ruins.

“This isn’t right…” you mutter quietly, your voice muffled. “Why do people have to be trapped, just because another bunch of people were afraid?” You couldn’t communicate to her why you found this idea so distressing, when you’d supposedly only seen her and Flowey, who had already tried to kill you. That didn’t really matter, though. “Isn’t there any way for you to see the surface once more, break the barrier somehow?”

You knew the answer to that, but the book hadn’t mentioned it. Even with your knowledge, you didn’t know if it was really possible for the barrier to be broken – there was Flowey, so where was Frisk? How many humans had already fallen down, fallen into the king’s hands, fallen into death’s embrace and had their souls sealed away? You pull back, and meet Toriel’s eyes once more, tears completely absent from your own.

She looked hesitant, unsure of how to respond. Tell a broken child of how their death could spare a kingdom of monsters, of how the only other way to escape was to kill a monster and steal their soul, or lie? You wordlessly challenged her to tell the truth. “Child… the barrier was constructed by seven great mages. No one has been able to shatter the barrier in the centuries we’ve been trapped within.” She wasn’t lying, but she wasn’t looking at you anymore. Her gaze had fallen, trapped somewhere between cruel memories and harsh reality.

“If it’s been centuries, have you been able to come up with any ideas? Has it weakened any? Have any actions been taken?” You didn’t know why you were being so forceful, the queries and almost accusations tearing their way free without your input. You pull back, regaining yourself, and feel an odd sensation beginning to fill you from within. Maturity, fear, understanding, drive – you didn’t know.

She definitely looked pained as she responded to your questions. “The Barrier is self-sustaining, and will last for centuries more without fading. We do know how to break the barrier, but… it is not a viable option, child.”

For the first time, you did not want to appear as a child before this monster. She wouldn’t share the dark truth with a child, and you already knew what she was hesitant to admit. “What is the key, then? Why won’t it work?” You knew why she didn’t want it to work, but the fact is, that it would work.

She drew back entirely, taking the book with her as she left the table. You watched as she slid the book back where it belonged, and picked up the book from her chair instead. “Would you like to hear a snail fact?” she asked, a pleading tone in her voice. “They are quite fascinating creatures.”

You were being cruel, hurting her with your words, bringing up thoughts and wounds that had yet to heal. You felt sick to your stomach at the realization, and felt even more worthless and pathetic than before. God, you hated yourself so much. This is why you shouldn’t try to do anything, shouldn’t try to help – you only hurt others, made things worse. You really needed to stop trying, just… stop.

You couldn’t stop. “Toriel?” you questioned softly, masking the pain in your voice with the concern you felt. “What is the key to breaking the barrier?” You were gentle, coaxing – as if she was the broken one, and not you. Perhaps you both were.

She remained silent for several long minutes, and you didn’t push. You were afraid to say anything else, lest she start destroying things – the door to the ruins, for one; any leftover positive regard towards you, for another. Instead, you stood from the table and went to her, kneeling down in front of the fire before her.

“…do you truly wish to know?” she asked, just as softly as you had. “There is a reason that the barrier has not been broken, despite our knowing how.” You silently nodded, unwilling to speak up and accidently stop her. “It is a cruel key; must you really know?” You nodded again, firmly. She sighed, but continued.

“To break the barrier, seven human souls must be gathered. Only with the power of seven human souls, equivalent to the mages who first erected it, can the barrier be destroyed.” A tear leaked down her cheek. “Humans have fallen down here before, left the ruins and attempted to reach the barrier. They have all fallen before the king, dead by Asgore’s hands.”

You let out a soft “ah,” of understanding, and reach up to cup her hands. “How many humans have there been before me? How close are you to being free?”

Her face twitched, and another tear broke free. “Too many, and too far.” Your lip quirks up slightly in morbid humor at her poetic non-answer, but you reach up to wipe away her tears. “I have seen so many children come and go, and my heart will always remain trapped here.” You sigh, feeling sorry for her, but the heavy weight you carry in your own chest will not allow you to dwell without drowning even farther.

“Toriel…” you begin, not sure how to ask what you need to know. If you are one of the earlier humans to fall, you could stay with her, and ask her to bring the king your soul upon your inevitable death. However, if it was as you were expecting, and you were the seventh soul they needed… well. “I don’t want to see you trapped here,” you said helplessly. “I don’t… I want to…” you struggle for the right words, for the emotions you should be feeling. “I’m not…” …that still wasn’t right. “I’m willing to…”

“No!” Toriel cried out. She flung her snail book aside as she slid out of her chair, falling to her knees before you. Her arms wrapped around you in a desperate hug, and you felt your insides clenching.  You felt grief begin to rise, but acceptance and gentle warmth caught the emotion and replaced it. You returned her hug carefully for a moment, but pulled back – not out of her grip, just enough to let her see your eyes – your determination, or lack of it when it came to caring about your own life.

“I will not see another child die!” she proclaimed, a queen’s edict, a demand for her subjects to obey and for fate to abide by her whims.

You weren’t one of her subjects, and fate was folly only to its own whims. “I am not a child, Toriel,” you state calmly. Familiar detachment had fallen upon you. “If I am able to help others, if my dying could set other beings and children free…” An empty smile crossed your face as you pulled back and stepped away, trying not to see the heartbreak on her face. This sort of thing was why you needed to die. “At least then it would mean something, yeah?”

She looked stricken, but not surprised. “Child, you…” she faltered. “You could stay with me, be happy here,” she tried. You let your empty gaze speak for you. “You have not even seen the Ruins yet – surely that is something you wish to do.”

You pause, consider her words. You thought you should want to see the ruins, experience the puzzles for yourself. There was a chance of you dying and breaking your soul, though… and you couldn’t quite muster up the desire to experience new lands and people.  You were barely able to muster the desire to try to break the Barrier, after all. You didn’t really have enough energy to spare for much else. You shake your head in negation. “There’s… not much I can want, nowadays,” you try to explain. “There’s not much I can even try to want.” You see understanding and sadness in her eyes, and know you have won. It’s a bittersweet victory, and it tastes sour in your mouth – nothing like butterscotch or cinnamon.

You offer her a helpless smile, empty of all but the echoes of emotion. “I… am sorry.” This was the truth – sorrow was there, that you were doing this to her, but it wasn’t enough. “That would sound nice, but…” you look away.

She draws back, and you hear the floor creak as she stands. “Will you wait one day?” She asks quietly. “Just enough for you to consider this fully – for you to enjoy even a little bit of life?”

You don’t know what will hurt her more – if you stay a little longer, or if you leave immediately. “I’ve considered my death for far longer than this…” you admit, “but… if you want me to wait a little while longer…”

“I do,” she says softly. You take in a deep breath, hold it for a moment, and breathe out slowly. You don’t know what to do.

“Okay,” you accede to her wishes. Your lips do the funny twitchy thing again. “I guess you can show me the Ruins after all.” Something catches your eye, and you stretch out and grabbed the book that had been mercilessly discarded. “Before that, though…” you stand offering the tome back to Toriel, who is still standing in the doorway. “1001 Interesting Snail Facts” is proudly displayed on the cover.

“I wouldn’t mind hearing some of those snail facts, now. I’m feeling a bit too sluggish to move around overly much.” You chuckle slightly, and receive a small giggle in return. Your heart relaxes slightly, loosening the tight band trapped around your chest. “I’m not ready to escargot anywhere just yet.”

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This story is also on AO3 here and FF.net here.

So. Yeah. You're willing to die to break the barrier, and you made Toriel cry. But, hey! At least you made a few good snail puns! ...Here's a warning: more puns are coming. Let me know what you think of them? In case the last one didn't make sense, escargot is pronounced es-car-go, not es-car-got. ...Okay, so I have almost 5 chapters in total written (some need to be typed up and edited), and at this point, I may as well call this story HugTale. So far, there have been hugs in every chapter. (Ch5 may break this streak) What can I say? I like hugs, and Toriel likes giving hugs, apparently.